


Lost But Not All Gone

by LenSS80



Series: Lost But Not All Gone [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Emotional Baggage, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Meld, Romance, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2020-10-24 07:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 101,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20701946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LenSS80/pseuds/LenSS80
Summary: Shepard's childhood on Mindoir, and her career in the Alliance left her emotionally scared and without ambitions. Omega seemed like the only possible way out. 10 years later she still lives there but now as the right hand of Aria T'Loak. She became a killer, pulling the trigger without hesitation and she enjoys it. A sense of satisfaction filling her hollow heart. Shepard thinks she buried all of her painful memories until one day a young asari maiden crosses her path.Liara.When Shepard's past comes back to haunt her, she has to find a way to deal with it all. Without losing the only one she cannot afford lose.





	1. Dethroned

Shepard raised her hand to signal a stop when they reached the back-door to the nightclub. She could hear the bass pounding from inside, and it sounded like the place was packed. 

_ Perfect. _

_ “ _ Grizz? Status.”

The turian behind her tapped his earpiece and listened for a couple of seconds before he answered.

“We’re all good to go. Target is in place.”

“Okay guys, keep your guns lowered, and stay close to me. We don't want to cause a scene or cause the crowd to panic,” Shepard said, popping off the safety catch on her trusted Carnifex.

“After you boss,” Wrex said behind her. Shepard opened the door, and the three of them slipped inside quietly. They stopped for a second once inside. Shepard looked around the club, taking notice of where the entrances were and looking for possible threats. Years of experience from this kind of job made it easy for her to make decisions about safety. She was never careless. 

This was the typical all-asari club, with no exception. There were dancers on the tables and the room consisted of one large dancefloor to their left and a grand bar taking up the entire wall on the opposite side of the room. The fact that they now were the only three non-asari in the room did not stress Shepard. She motioned her crew to follow her, as they made themselves as small as they could, moving silently through the crowd over to the doors leading to the restrooms. They slipped inside, without being bothered by anyone. Why should anyone bother them? This was Omega after all. Most of the people living here knew it was best not to stick their noses into other people’s business. That usually got you killed.

“Clear out,” Shepard demanded quietly but strict to the few asari lingering in line for the occupied bathroom. No one questioned her as they left the room immediately, and Shepard waited for the sound of the muffled bass, signaling that the door had closed behind them.

“Grizz, guard the door. Don’t let anyone inside.” 

“Sure thing.” Grizz stepped outside again, his gun lowered to his side.

Shepard stepped closer to the door. The loud moans coming from behind it told her everything had gone according to plan. The door was locked, but it was easy for Shepard to open her omni-tool and hack it. As the pressure-pad turned green, Shepard raised her gun and hit the pad. The metal door opened, and the sight in front of her put a big grin on Shepard's face. 

“What the fuck!” Jona Sederis exclaimed, sitting on the counter beside the sink with an asari firmly planted between her legs.

“Hello, Jona. Is this a bad time?” Shepard met her gaze and held it. Without breaking eye contact she continued, “Elara.”

The asari between Jona’s legs got up and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. 

“Thank you, Elara. It looks like you did your job perfectly. Were there any problems?” Shepard still held Jona’s gaze, her eyes shining with anger. Shepard could not keep her grin from widening.

“No problems, Shepard. She was very easy to lure...” the asari maiden answered while Shepard slipped her a credit chit.

“Now get out of here and back to Afterlife. Aria probably wants to thank you personally.”

“Of course,” Elara said and walked out past Wrex and towards the exit.

“You fucking bitch!” Jona called out after her, but the door had already closed. She then fixed her eyes back on Shepard, closed her legs and slipped her dress back down. “So, now you’re here to kill me. Is that it?”

“That's pretty much it, yeah,” Shepard said while her lips curled slowly into a smirk. “I didn't think it would be this easy though.”

“Easy? Ha, it won't be when the Eclipse find out...”

“They already know, Jona.” Shepard raised her gun and pointed it towards the asari, aiming her barrel at her head. “Do you really think I’m that stupid, that  _ Aria _ is that stupid? Going after you without Jaroth’s blessing? Yeah, that's right. He’s probably drinking with Aria right now, just waiting to be made leader.”

“You fucking set me up!” Jona jumped down from the counter and took one step closer to Shepard, pointing a finger at her. “You and your fucking boss! Tell me, does she still have you on a leash? You fucking-”

Shepard pulled the trigger. Twice.

When Jona dropped to the ground, Shepard stepped over her, pointed her gun down and fired again.

“You got exactly what you deserved,” she whispered down to the corpse. A memory flickered briefly through her mind as she said those words. She pushed the thought away, this was not the time for it. She buried it like she always did with every emotion, every painful thought or feeling. Just push it down and bury it and go on like usual.

Shepard holstered her weapon and tapped her earpiece.

“Bray. Tell Aria the job is done. Send someone to clean up.”

She turned around facing Wrex and they left the club, just as quietly as they had entered.

* * *

When Shepard stepped into her grand size apartment she went straight to the bathroom. She unzipped and unclasped her one-piece black commando armor and tossed it to the side. She stepped under the shower and turned on the water. She felt tired and exhausted. Although this had just been a normal day on the job. Killing. It was what she did. What she  _ liked.  _

It hadn't been just about the job. It had been much more personal than that. When the memories of  _ that  _ day started to resurface again, Shepard turned the temperature of the shower up. The almost scalding water cleansed her of everything she was feeling. She wouldn't let herself feel. No, she never let herself feel again. Being sentimental had no real use for Shepard. It certainly wouldn’t help her be any sharper or fiercer.

Killing was no problem for her. She had pulled the trigger on both her gun and shotgun so many times, she had lost count. Shepard never hesitated, never wavered. If she was on a job, she would finish it. Without any doubts. And the targets? Nah, they were just the finishing pieces of the puzzle. Nah, they were just the means to an end.

But Shepard never killed anyone who didn't deserve it.

Except  _ that _ day.

“Fuck,” Shepard muttered into the shower wall, running her hand through her wet hair before grabbing the soap. After scrubbing herself clean, she stepped out of the shower and tied a towel around her waist. She walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of her bed. She leaned back and let out a sigh. Her omni-tool chimed, alerting her of an incoming message.

[ Aria wants a word. She’s at Afterlife. - Bray ]

_ Of course. Where else would she be? _

Shepard sighed before tapping out an answer. She stood up, got dressed and headed for the private elevator to take her up to the rooftop, where Sheerk was waiting for her in a skycar. The Dozu Towers where towering over every other building in the Dozu district, and with the private parking and rooftop entrance the place was the perfect place to live for both Shepard and Aria. Aria lived in the penthouse, Shepard in the apartment below. They had their own personal floors where no one except Aria’s and now Shepard’s trusted assistant Nyxeris had access. The rooftop access was guarded by four of Aria’s people at all times. Safety was something Aria took very seriously. As Shepard was on her way to the waiting car, she met Nyxeris and gave her a simple nod of recognition before stepping into the elevator. 

The ride over to Afterlife took no more than five minutes, and as Shepard stepped out of the skycar, she was greeted with the regular line of people waiting to get into the nightclub. She walked passed the line and smiled at the elcor guarding the line.

_ What a shitty job he has. _ .. 

No one complained as Shepard slipped inside without any permission needed. They knew better than to mess with Aria’s favorite. 

Shepard strode straight to the bar as always, and she got a drink in her hand almost immediately. She swallowed it straight down before turning towards the bartender, “One more.”

Shepard loved the sensation as the scotch burned down her throat. No matter how she was feeling, a scotch always seemed to soothe her. While she waited for the bartender to pour her a new one, she looked around the room. She felt like she was being watched, and although Shepard felt safe here at Afterlife, the sensation sent a small shiver down her spine. It didn't take her long to spot the reason.

Two asari seated down on a table near the entrance made her stop. One of them looked rather embarrassed at being caught looking, while the other one winked at Shepard. This was nothing new. Shepard did not have any problems getting someone to warm her bed, but tonight she just wanted to find out what Aria wanted then head home to sleep. So Shepard just gave the two asari a smile and a nod. One of them was just looking down into her lap, obviously mortified. Shepard grabbed her second scotch and headed off towards Aria's throne.

She passed Grizz on her way up, already back at his usual spot. Grizz was Arias’s most trusted bodyguard, and over the years he had become someone Shepard liked to work with. Grizz was a professional through and through, and he always followed through on an order.

“You took your fucking time,” Aria drawled from her usual position on her couch. 

Shepard sat down in a chair opposite her, putting her scotch down on the table. 

“Aria, Jaroth,” Shepard greeted, before taking a small sip of her drink. “Congratulations on your new position, Jaroth.”

“Ah, I’m just glad that old bitch is dead. She was becoming unstable and unpredictable. The Eclipse are better off without her,” the salarian answered. “I guess this concludes our business then, Aria.”

“As long as you keep the Eclipse in check, you have nothing to fear from me, Jaroth. You know our agreement.” Aria stood up and shook his hand.

“But one wrong move and you are out of my good graces,” Aria threatened, squinting her eyes before she sat back down. “Bray, please show our salarian friend out, and make sure no-one bothers him.”

“Will do boss,” Bray answered, stepping forward and escorting Jaroth down the stairs and out of the club. 

Shepard emptied her glass and put it down on the table.

“Was there some reason you needed me to come down here for?” Shepard asked, her annoyance showing in her voice.

“What's crawled up your ass?” Aria leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees, “I thought you would be happy you finally got your hands on Jona.”

“I am. I'm just tired.”

“You need to get laid. Why don't I call some of the girls to help you out with that? Elara looked positively happy when she came back earlier. I'm sure she wouldn't mind-”

“No thanks. I don't need your help on that subject, Aria,” Shepard said shaking her head. “I just need a good night’s sleep. That's all. Sex isn't always the answer...”

“Speak for yourself,” Aria disagreed. “I have another job for you.”

“I'm sure you have... But I’m not doing anything else until tomorrow. Have the details sent to me." Shepard got up and started walking down the stairs.

"Shepard. I need it done  _ now _ ."

Shepard knew she didn't really have a choice. She sighed, turned around and asked, "What is it?"

"Actually it's waiting for you in one of our private rooms," Aria smirked wickedly before leaning back against the couch cushions, crossing her legs to take up her usual position.

"Aria..." 

"Oh just shut up and do as I say, Shepard. Then you get to go home." Aria waved her away and Shepard was suddenly grabbed by an asari, leading her down the stairs, past the bar and to the left, towards one of the clubs private rooms. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all, Shepard thought. It had been over two weeks since she had enjoyed the company of a woman. It was too long by Shepards standards. 

As she was lead towards the room, the two asari eyeing her earlier were still seated at the same table. This time they were both starting and Shepard couldn't help but to notice the one to the right. She looked nothing like the other girls that usually hang around here, and Shepard was sure she could see a purple flush spreading from her face and down beneath the neckline of her shirt. But it was her eyes, her shining blue eyes - almost sparkling, that caught Shepard’s attention. Their gaze met and just for a second Shepard felt like her eyes were trapped. She smiled at the asari, holding her gaze just a bit longer before she was lead past them and into the private room. Where another asari was waiting for her.

Her eyes just plain green.


	2. The Human

Liara tapped her fingers against her wine glass. Maybe it was nervousness, or maybe it was just because this place was not a place she felt comfortable in. Sure, Liara liked to go out from time to time, enjoying the company of her closest friends, drinking some good wine and listening to  _ more relaxing  _ music. She wasn't a total bore. But Afterlife... Afterlife was something else entirely. With the heavy, pounding bass from the music, the red dim lights and the half-naked dancers all around. The place was packed with people from all over the galaxy. Drinks were served in quick succession, people were dancing and cheering while the dancers entertained them. 

This was the kind of place that made the stereotype about asari maidens true, and that was not something Liara wanted to support. Liara didn’t look down at the asaris which wanted to spend their maiden years like this. But it made the other species get the wrong idea about her people. No wonder every other person thought of asari as promiscuous women, only out looking for sex and drugs. Liara felt like she already hated the place, and she would never have chosen to come here if it was up to her. She had tried to say no, but Shiala had insisted for her to come along. Thank the goddess Shiala had managed to get them a table at the upper level of the club.

"Isn't this great?" Shiala asked, looking far more relaxed and excited than Liara, her second glass of wine already half empty.

"Oh, I wonder if we get to see Aria herself! I've always had a small crush on her. I mean have you seen the way she dresses?  _ That _ leather jacket. The way she just walks into a room and owns it. Just like that," Shiala snapped her fingers while reclining in the chair, crossing her legs.

Liara wondered when Shiala had developed this infatuation with the pirate queen. Then again, she had always been especially interested in crime lords... 

"Or maybe it's the way she looks at you like she just wants to devour you." Shiala swallowed down more of her wine before continuing. "I would certainly let her devour me..."

“You have never even met her, Shiala. Or seen her in person,” Liara remarked.

“I have seen pictures!” Shiala chuckled.

Liara wondered why her friend had been so excited to visit her in the first place.

She had left Thessia two weeks ago and was planning to stay here for almost a year. Her plan was to study alongside a salarian scientist, Mordin Solus. He was working on a possible cure for the krogan Genophage, and Liara was writing down articles about him. It was exactly the kind of study Liara wanted to write about, so when the offer had presented itself, she had immediately asked Serrice for a leave of absence from her job as a professor at the university. She was really looking forward to the challenge, and although this might not be the most ideal place to live, given the high kill rate and violence Omega was known for, Liara would not let that stop her. If it ever came down to it she was more than capable enough to defend herself with her biotics.

She wasn't exactly a trained commando, but Liara had always been one to master what she set her mind on. Failure had never been an option for her, a trait she had shared with her mother, Benezia. When her mother had hired some of Thessia’s best commandos to teach her, Liara had been determined to learn. She could easily pull off a two meter singularity or put up a barrier over three people.. And if she got really mad, a half-decent warp was something she managed to pull off. Just ask her third-grade girlfriend.

The two weeks Liara had been here, she had been living in a small rental apartment close to Mordin's clinic in the Gozy District. Her days were pretty mundane; waking up, drinking her favorite Thessian tea, taking a cab to the clinic, work, write and go straight back home. And when she got home, she would either pick up a book or simply write some more. Take-out was the safest option, since Liara was neither a particularly good cook or very interested in walking the streets of Omega alone. She did not want to wander off and take a wrong turn down some dark, dangerous street in the wrong district and end up dead just because she had certain cravings. No, Liara was smarter than that. She had listened to warnings and read the '101 - how to stay alive on Omega' handbook she had found on the extranet. Even her father had been worried about her. Although that was for some entirely different reasons:

_ 'If you need a good fuck while you are there, avoid the dancers. They may be flexible, but it gets kinda boring fast.' _

_ 'Father!' _

_ 'What?! I'm just saying. I have been on Omega so many times I know what I’m talking about. This one time I-' _

_ 'Please stop. I don't want to know.' _

_ 'How did my kid become such a prude. Please don't tell me you’ve never... I don't even want to think about it!' _

_ 'Goddess... This is not a conversation I want to have with you.' _

_ 'Not even one time, eh?' _

_ *deep sigh* _

_ 'Then I hope you at least take care of yourself, kid. That's not healthy.'  _

_ 'Please stop worrying about that, father. I'm not a... I mean I have... I’ve had girlfriends!' _

_ 'Thank Athame’s grand tits!' _

As Liara tried to think about something else than her very embarrassing last conversation with Aethyta, her mind went back to the thought of Shialas ulterior motives for visiting her. Shiala had been nothing but supportive of her move to Omega. They had been good friends for many many years. Shiala had been a friend of the family since Liara was a little girl, and although she was over 400 years older than Liara, no one would have guessed it. Shiala had been very excited when Liara called her and asked if she would come to visit, saying yes even before she was finished asking.

Now Liara wondered if it was all an excuse to ogle the Queen of Omega.

She took a small sip of her wine before setting the glass back down on the small table in front of them. The deafening and  _ terrible  _ music was hard to get used to, and every time one of the very inappropriate dressed asari-dancers looked their way, Liara made sure to avoid their gaze by shifting in her seat and look another way. She did not need a lap-dance as well. 

_ I can do this. It's just for one night. Then I will never have to come back here. _

As she managed to reassure herself that this would be a one-time visit to Afterlife, a human stepped through the doors.Shiala instantly nudged her shoulder hard.

"Liara, look at her!" Shiala grabbed her arm, yanking her forward as to make sure Liara paid attention, "Wow, she's really fit!"

The red-headed human walked quickly and determined past them, obviously ignorant to Shiala’s outburst. She stopped at the bar and the bartender instantly shoved a drink into her hand.

"She didn't even have to order! She must be one of Aria’s people. Athame... Look at those _ arms _ !" Shiala exclaimed, her eyes widening while she continued staring at the human standing only a couple of tables away from them.

"I didn’t even think you liked humans?" Liara wondered while bringing her wineglass to her lips, unsure if she should take a sip or not, eyes glued forward.

"I don't. Goddess, I didn't think so. But when they look like that... I mean, I wouldn't mind having those arms pick me up, throw me onto the bed and-"

"Shiala! Please stop." Liara felt herself blushing because of her friend’s very loud confession. 

"What? Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy the view yourself?" Shiala teased, leaning forward in her seat just to make it more obvious she was staring.

Liara didn't have an answer for her. She  _ had _ been looking herself. She found it rather hard not to. Shiala was right, the woman was indeed athletic. Liara did not have very much experience with humans, although there were some who attended her course at the University of Serrice. But she was certain she had never seen anyone quite like this one before. Especially of the female gender. Liara continued to study the woman. She wore a tight fitting black tank-top which showed off her toned and muscled arms, and accentuated her pectoral muscle. She looked like she had seen her share of battle. Her arms were scarred and from what Liara could see from here, it looked like she had another scar running through her left eyebrow. The human’s hair was crimson red and it was cut about halfway down her neck, and when Liara witnessed the woman running her hand through it and place some of the stray hair behind one ear, she couldn't stop wondering how it would feel between her own fingers…

Suddenly the human turned around, looking straight at them. Shiala nudged her friend’s shoulder so hard, it ripped Liara out of her thoughts, and it almost made her drop her drink down into her lap. Liara realized she had been caught staring and immediately dropped her gaze, clutching her wine like her life depended on it. She didn't dare look up again until Shiala spoke.

"Did you see that smile? Goddess, I think I’m going to faint. Seriously, Liara. I have to find a way to talk to her. I mean, she looked interested..."

Liara put her drink down on the table again, her hand slightly shaking from the embarrassing moment, and as she looked up she saw that the human was gone. 

"And how exactly could you tell that she is interested in you?" Liara challenged, turning to look at her friend.

"Well, she smiled-"

"She was probably just being polite," Liara stated, and Shiala looked utterly unhappy at the comment.

"Can we please leave, Shiala? I need to get an early night, I’ve had a long day at the clinic and I am tired."

"What? Go now? But... I might have a chance," Shiala protested.

"Please don't get mixed up in someone dangerous. For all we know she is one of Aria’s mercenaries. I don’t think it would be safe-"

"Oh, please. We all need a little danger in our lives." Shiala looked over at Liara’s pleading face before she surrendered, "Ok, relax. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm here to hang out with my best friend and to make sure she is settling in okay." Shiala took Liara’s hand and squeezed it, smiling at her. "I’m not here to have amazing sex with a very attractive and probably a very dangerous human..."

"Shiala! Sometimes you are worse than my father," Liara playfully pushed her friend's hand away.

Shiala chuckled.

"I tell you what. Let us finish our drinks, then we can go get something to eat before we head back to your apartment. Does that sound good?"

"Yes, very," Liara answered, letting out a small breath of relief. Her blush from earlier finally started to disappear. 

After they had finished their drinks, Shiala had to go to the restroom. Liara did not feel particularly happy about being left alone so she opened her omni-tool to make herself seem occupied. She opened her business mail to check for any new ones. Suddenly, her omni-tool buzzed and a message icon with the name "Falere" flashed. Liara felt a smile forming on her lips when she opened the message.

_ [ Hi. I miss you. Hope Shiala made it there in one piece. Please do not let her talk you into anything reckless or dangerous while she's there. You know how she gets. _

_ Call me later when you’re alone. I love you. ] _

Liara closed the message and started thinking about her girlfriend. She has been so caught up in her work after arriving on Omega that she hadn’t really had a lot of time to miss her. But now she wished that Falere was here with her. It was nice having someone to talk to about your day, and especially when that someone shared your interest in galactic history and galactic species. And to have someone equally intelligent to share your thoughts with was really something Liara had always missed. No one of her friends had shared her passions, especially not Shiala.

It was always nice having someone to talk to about your day. Especially when this someone shared your interest in galactic history and was your girlfriend on top of that. Liara missed the small affectionate gestures from Falere, the small kisses she left on her crest as she was getting ready to go to work. She often brought her gifts to show her how much she cared about her. She even went out of her way once and bought terran chocolate for her. No one else had shared her passions or cared about her this much.

They had been together for around 2 years, and although two years might seem like a short time to a long lived species like the asari, Liara had never had a relationship last this long before. They still lived in different apartments in Serrice, but Liara suspected it was only a matter of time before Falere would ask her to move in with her. Liara hadn't even told her father about Falere, and now she started to wonder why. That would certainly have saved her from a lot of embarrassing questions about her mating rituals. But then again, introducing Falere to her father too early probably would have scared her away...

“Do you know of any good places to eat around here?” Shiala interrupted, as she got back from the restroom. 

But before Liara could answer her, both of them fixed their eyes forward. The woman from earlier was walking towards them with an asari on her arm. This time Liara did not look away. She felt captured by a pair of emerald green eyes meeting and holding her gaze, and she was unsure if she had ever seen anything like them before. 

_ Goddess. _

The woman came closer and closer, and Liara had to blink twice before parting her lips as to say something. A greeting or anything really. But when no words came out she closed her mouth again as the woman’s lips curled into a wide smile before she walked past them and into another room. 

“Goddess, Liara! Did you see her eyes? I think I’m in love...” Shiala swooned. She grabbed Liara’s wrist, pulled her up from the chair and walked towards the exit. “We are definitely going back here tomorrow!”

Liara followed without any objections. 

“Okay.”


	3. Liara

Shepard was feeling restless. Her whole body was showing the effects of her earlier activities. She could not sit still, tapping her feet on the floor and fidgeting with her hair. It had been a while since she had felt the comedown of an adrenaline rush this badly after a job. The job itself had been simple enough. Sweep the building where Aria had gotten a tip that several rogue ex-Eclipse members were holed up and selling Red Sand. When drugs were sold on Omega without Aria getting her cut of the deal, the dealers were usually dealt with themselves. In a rather deadly way.

The whole ordeal had been pretty straight forward. Shepard and Wrex were a deadly duo, with Wrex biotics and Shepard's charges, and both of them rocking their favorite shotgun. The poor dealers didn't stand a chance. 

"Get Shepard a fucking drink. Can't you see she's tripping?" Aria barked at one of the asari waitresses as she strode down from her throne to join Shepard and Wrex at the table downstairs. The asari nodded, and just a few minutes later she was back with a scotch and a bottle of Ryncol. She placed it on the table in front of Shepard who just pushed the bottle over to Wrex. 

"Haha, Shepard. Too strong for you?" Wrex bellowed while he poured the Ryncol down in one large gulp.

"You know me, Wrex." Shepard waved the glass with the scotch at him before emptying it. 

"Just keep em coming," she said to the asari who quickly disappeared towards the bar.

"The two asari who were eyeing you yesterday are back," Aria interrupted while she sat down with them. 

"One of them looks rather, hmm, interesting. Why don't I send someone to bring them up here?" Aria smirked. 

Shepard knew what that grin meant.

"Why would you want that?" she asked anyway.

"Do I need a reason?"

"No. You're the Queen after all..."

"Oh don't be so dramatic," Aria said, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm getting tired of the same old, Shepard. I need someone new and exciting. That one with the facial markings looks just like my type…" 

"I thought I was your type Aleena," Wrex said, deciding to tease his former lover.

"Aw, Wrex. You know no-one has ever come close to compare to you. Unfortunately for you, I don't do krogans anymore. I'm more of an azure-only kind of asari now." 

She stared straight into Shepard's eyes. "Sometimes I prefer humans. Female of course."

Shepard snorted.

"Bray! Why don't you go down and invite those two asari seated at the back up here? The one with the facial markings and her friend." 

Bray stepped forward and answered, "Sure thing, Aria."

"Wait," Shepard interrupted and stood up. "Bray will only scare them away. No offense."

"None taken."

"I'll go and ask them  _ if _ they want to join us." 

"Oh, I'm sure they want to," Aria drawled while leaning back into the couch, crossing her legs and resting her hands in her lap.

"Bray, where did that waitress go? Please find her and tell her to do her fucking job, or else she will be back dancing on my table in no time."

"Yes, boss."

Shepard was already on her way down the stairs when she saw that the two asari were standing by the bar, trying to order. One of them, the one with the blue eyes, looked so out of place Shepard bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

_ Why is she even back here again? _

She slipped in beside the blue-eyed asari.

"Two nights in a row?" 

It took some time before the asari even realized she had been spoken to, and when she turned and faced Shepard she instantly turned a darker shade of blue. Shepard couldn't help herself from smiling, as the asari stammered a response, "w-what did you say?"

"I said, two nights in a row? You two must be really digging this place, huh." 

The asari just stared at her. Her eyes widening as she opened her mouth to answer. Shepard held her gaze, she found it hard to look away. Her smile was widening even more as she took in the unbelievable beauty of the asari. Her eyes, as Shepard remembered from yesterday, were some of the most beautiful and enchanting she had ever seen. She looked young and innocent, but at the same time old and wise. And the way her purple freckles below her eyes turned even darker when she blushed, the way her eyes were almost pulling Shepard in and making her want to drown in them. Like she was put under a spell.

Shepard found her adorable.

_ Wow.  _ She thought. 

But before the asari could utter a word, her friend leaned over and answered for her.

"We do! Actually, yesterday was our first time here. Well, it is my first time on Omega. Liara's too. She just moved here. I’m visiting. And I have always wanted to visit Afterlife. I mean to have a chance to maybe see Aria herself! Goddess..." 

As the asari with the facial markings kept rambling on, Shepard had stopped paying attention at the mention of  _ her _ name.

_ Liara.  _

Her name was Liara. And Shepard found her adorable.

"You don't say..." Shepard answered, unsure if the other asari was still talking or not. Her eyes had not left Liara yet. Shepard decided to stop torturing her with her stare, not wanting to scare the poor thing until she had even had a chance to talk to her, so she broke the gaze and looked over at her talkative friend. 

"I’m Shepard. You are?"

"S-Shiala! This is Liara." She pointed at her friend.

"Yeah, the one that just moved here. I caught that. Nice to meet you Liara." Shepard and Liara's eyes met again and both of them smiled.

"Nice to meet you too, Shepard." 

"Would you two like to join us for a drink. And by us, I mean me and Aria."

Shiala’s eyes almost popped out of her head. "Aria wants to have a drink with us? Aria?  _ That  _ Aria?"

Shepard laughed.

"Yes.  _ That  _ Aria."

"Of course we want to! Liara! Did you hear-?"

Liara looked at her friend, the embarrassment obvious on her face. "I'm standing right here. Of course I heard her." 

Liara turned back towards Shepard. "You have to excuse Shiala, she tends to get overly excited."

Shiala snorted behind her back.

"I think I understand what you mean," Shepard smirked. "Just follow me." 

Shepard started walking and lead the two asari up the stairs. They followed closely, and Shepard heard a loud gasp when Aria came into vision. 

"Liara, Shiala. This is Wrex." Shepard pointed towards the krogan, who raised his hand in a greeting. "And this-" Shepard stretched her hand out towards Aria, "-this is Aria T'Loak. You’d do best to behave around her," she teased, enjoying the look of shock on both Liara and Shiala's face.

"Thank you for the nice introduction," Aria answered. She cast an arm out towards the empty seats. "Please, sit."

As Shiala and Liara moved to sit down, Aria stopped them. "Wait. I want you to sit next to me. Shiala was it?" Aria drawled, making room on her small couch.

"Y-Yes," Shiala managed to croak out, moving instantly to sit down beside Aria. 

That left Liara standing alone, and Shepard could see she struggled to decide where to sit down. Sitting down beside Wrex might be too scary, so Shepard hurried to take the middle seat, leaving the spot to her left open for Liara.

"Please," Shepard said, patting the couch. "I don’t bite."

Aria laughed.

"What?" Shepard said, leaning back into the couch and placing her arm up on the back of it, almost reaching to where Liara sat down.

"You used to enjoy biting me, remember?" Aria teased.

"Well, that was a totally different situation..."

Wrex bellowed a laugh and it made Liara jump in her seat. Shepard could see that the asari was uncomfortable, and she felt the sudden need to do something about it. She raised her hand and signaled the waitress to bring them something to drink. 

"Would you like some wine, Liara?" she asked, and the asari nodded.

"Yes, please. White is fine, thank you," Liara answered, with a voice Shepard decided she wanted to hear again and again.

As the drinks came, the banter started and Shiala was rambling on and on about things Shepard paid no attention to. She almost felt sorry for Aria, pretending to listen and care. Almost. Shepard knew it was all an act just to get her into bed. Not that Aria needed to act. No-one turned down a chance to fuck the Queen. Shepard would know. She hadn’t either. 

Liara was still being quiet, folding her hands in her lap and fiddling with her own fingers. Shepard decided to try and make her more comfortable. Besides, she was really curious about her. Who she was, where she came from...

“So Liara, tell me something about yourself,” Shepard said, turning towards the asari.

“I am afraid I’m not very interesting.” Liara looked up from her lap and met Shepard's eyes.

Shepard smiled, “I beg to differ.”

Liara couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips, and she turned her head just enough to avoid direct eye contact. Shepard enjoyed that she could make Liara react this way, this easily.

“Ok, let’s start with something simple. How old are you? You look... eh, young?” Shepard rubbed her neck, wondering if it was wrong to make that assumption.

“I am. I’m only one hundred and fifteen. By asari standards, I am barely considered more than a child.” Liara clarified. 

“Wow. Only one hundred and fifteen huh.” Shepard grabbed Liara’s wine and held it away from her. 

“Are you sure you’re allowed to drink this, miss?” she teased.

“You mock me.”

“I try. But seriously, you  _ are  _ old enough? Right?” Shepard said, faking seriousness.

“Yes, Shepard. I am old enough.” Liara grabbed her drink and took a sip, just to prove her point.

Shepard took a deep breath. “Phew, I’m relieved. I wouldn’t like to have your parents come after me for serving you alcohol.”

“I do not know of your human customs, but we asari do not have an age limit on alcohol. We are free to drink whatever and whenever we want. Although, we try to encourage our daughters to stay away from the really strong stuff. Like Ryncol...”

“Really?” Shepard looked shocked, and when Liara started to laugh she knew she had been tricked. She couldn't help joining in, hearing Liara make those sounds was something she wanted to hear more. Shepard made it a personal mission to make Liara laugh again.

“So, you just moved here? Was it the sunny days and the warm and welcoming people that lured you here?” 

“No, not exactly. I moved here for work. I’m staying for one year, then I’m going back to Thessia.”

“Thessia. I’ve been there once. It’s a beautiful planet that reminds me of Earth. Only you have a slightly different climate. And it’s greener.”

“Yes, Thessia is very beautiful,” Liara said thoughtfully. “I live in Serrice, where I work as a history professor.”

“A professor, huh. So tell me, professor-”

“Doctor,” Liara interrupted.

“Huh?”

“Doctor. Not professor. I have a doctorate in galactic history,” Liara smiled.

“So, Doctor. How do you like Omega? Is it everything you thought it would be?”

“I haven’t seen a lot of it actually. I’m rather busy with work and I have not deemed it safe enough for sightseeing by myself,” Liara contemplated, taking a sip of her wine. 

Shepard followed her movement with her eyes and found herself staring at the asari’s purple lips, the way they wrapped around the edge of the glass when she drank. Shepard realized that she was staring, so she shook her head, ran her hand through the read strands, leaning back a little to give Liara some space.

“Yeah, safe isn't exactly a word I would use to describe Omega,” Shepard chuckled.

“What about you, Shepard. Why don't you tell me something about yourself? I guess you must have an interesting life.”

“Why do you think that?” 

“You just... look like you do.” Liara blushed, looking away again.

“Really, I don't.”

“I beg to differ.” Liara returned her eyes to Shepard’s, and when Shepard met them, she felt a spark of electricity run down her spine. There was something about Liara that made her feel a way she hadn’t before. At least not in a very long time. Shepard didn’t say anything, just stared back at her, Liara’s deep blue eyes completely freezing her in time.

“Liara!” Shiala ripped them both out of their little moment.

“Y-Yes?”

“Would you please come with me to the restroom? We need to talk!” Shiala practically dragged Liara with her, not even waiting for an answer. Liara cast Shepard a look of ‘sorry’ before disappearing down the stairs.

“So, are you taking her home? You can always borrow my couch you know. I’m not using it tonight.” Aria said, leaning further back into her seat, crossing her legs.

“No thanks. I’m not taking her home. I don’t think she’s the type...”

“When have you ever had problems getting women into your bed, Shepard?”

“It’s not about that…” 

Shepard had to think about why she did not feel the need to take Liara home. It certainly wasn't her lack of looks, as Shepard found her very, very beautiful. But she also felt something else. Like she wanted to protect her. It was weird. Shepard shook her head and poured the rest of her whiskey down her throat.

“Boss,” Grizz stepped up, “There’s some trouble downstairs. A male human is harassing the two asaris who were with you. He’s not a regular, never seen him before.”

Shepard instantly got up and stepped down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she could see Liara and Shiala standing in line for the restroom, and a human man standing too close to Liara. She saw him stroke the asaris lower back, and Liara tried to wriggle away from his touch. 

“Please stop,” she heard Liara say, begging the man to stay away.

Something inside Shepard snapped. She surged forward, crossing the floor in breakneck pace and reached the man in no time. She grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

“Are you deaf? She said stop.” 

“Why the fuck do you care, woman?” the guy answered, obviously not knowing who he was talking to. He shrugged Shepard off, and his hand reached for Liara again, aiming for her ass. 

Shepard hit it away before it even got a chance of a touch.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch?!” The man was angry, stepping up into Shepard's face.

“You should be lucky I’m not someone who hits women.” He came even closer, almost spitting in Shepard's face as he spoke.

“That's a shame. I would have loved to see you try...” 

Shepard was staring the man down. She did not move, not even an inch. She felt the anger boil up inside like her blood was on fire. There was no stopping her rage now. He could say and do whatever he wanted to her. But if he touched Liara again...

“Shepard...” Liara placed a hand on Shepard’s arm. “It’s fine. He didn’t really do anything...”

Shepard just shrugged her off, her eyes still burning with fury, staring daggers at the guy in front of her.

“Yeah, listen to your little girlfriend. I bet if I got the chance she would gladly let me fuck her. So she could feel what it would be like to get properly fucked. Those asari bitches really like that...”

That was the last word that escaped his mouth before Shepard grabbed him by his throat and slammed him on his back onto the nearest table. He tried to knock her off, but Shepard was too strong and too angry to be moved. She squeezed his throat harder and harder, watching as his eyes were starting to bulge, and the man was clutching at her hands trying to break free from her death grip. 

“Shepard! Stop!” Liara yelled behind her, and it brought Shepard back from her trance for just a second. She managed to collect herself enough to loosen the tight hold around the guy’s neck before the pressure would kill him.

“Now you get the fuck out of here. And If I ever see your face again, I will not hesitate to kill you.” Shepard leaned down so close she could feel the man’s panting breath on her own face. She then released his throat, grabbed him by the arms and threw him across the floor towards the exit. The man scrambled to his feet while clutching his throat struggling to find his breath.

“Get the fuck out!” Shepard yelled at him, and he started running towards the exit, quickly disappearing outside.

“Fuck!” Shepard cursed, turning around, slamming her palms onto the table. She lowered her head, trying to calm herself down and to get her breathing under control, knowing that if she didn’t she would soon be chasing after the guy. It had taken Shepard all the willpower she could muster not to kill him. She realized it had been Liara that had stopped her from going through with it. Had it been anyone else telling her not to do it, she wouldn't have listened.

“Fuck...” Shepard closed her eyes and tried even harder to collect herself. People around her were quiet, staring at her. But when she turned back around, they started to mind their own business again. No one wanted to piss off Shepard after that scene.

“Are you okay, Shepard?" Liara asked after a while, stepping closer, but Shepard could see that she was keeping her distance. She looked...  _ afraid? _ . Liara was probably not used to dealing with messed up people like herself. With anger problems and killing being on top of her daily to-do list.

“Yeah. Are you though?” Shepard looked at Liara and found it hard to focus on her eyes. She had just shown Liara a side of herself she now realized she wished Liara hadn't seen. At least not yet.

“I’m fine, Shepard. But I think I’m going to leave...”

“Stay, please,” Shepard said quickly.

“Shiala is leaving with Aria...”

“That’s fine. Just stay. Maybe we can have one more drink?” Shepard asked, she didn't like the thought of Liara leaving her just yet. This was probably the last time she would see her, and she felt a pang of sadness at the thought.

“Okay,” Liara answered, while her lips slowly curled into a smile.

When they returned upstairs, Aria made a comment about Shepard's scene. 

“It’s dealt with,” Shepard replied, her body language telling Aria not to push the topic further.

“Ok, we are going back to my place,” Aria said as she put her arm around Shiala’s shoulder.

Wrex also said his goodbye, that left Shepard and Liara alone. Shepard took a seat first, Liara sat down opposite her, and the new distance between them felt unsettling to Shepard.

They sat in silence for a while, before a waitress stepped up to them with one scotch and one glass of wine. 

"Thank you," Liara said, taking her glass and putting it against her lips.

"I’m sorry you had to see that..." Shepard said, leaning forward on her elbows. "I just... I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior."

"Don’t be sorry. I should have walked away."

"This is not your fault. That guy was an asshole. Unfortunately, there are a lot of them here. But, he got off easy..." Shepard felt the anger rising inside again as she remembered the way the guy had been stroking Liara’s back, taking advantage. She clenched her fists and tapped them against her thighs.

"Let’s talk about something else, hmm?" Liara said, noticing the shift in Shepards 

demeanor.

“Gladly.”

"How long have you been living here?" Liara asked.

"About 10 years now..." 

"And where did you live before?" 

"I- It’s complicated..." Shepard shrugged and emptied her glass. "I don’t want to talk about it."

"I’m sorry." A hint of sadness flashed in Liara’s eyes.

"Don’t be. It’s just me. I- I don’t like to talk about my past."

"Okay."

They fell silent again. Liara finished her drink, and Shepard tried to come up with topics to ask the asari. They talked a little more about Liara’s job, and Shepard told her she knew of Mordin and his clinic. She usually ended up there when needed to be patched up. As Liara tried to ask her about  _ her  _ job, Shepard closed down again, not wanting to share too much with the maiden.

Shepard knew Liara could sense it. That she was shutting down and refusing to share anything about herself. 

_ I’m never gonna see her again anyway so why bother... _

The thought pierced Shepard’s heart but she wondered if it would be for the best anyway. She and Liara had two completely different personalities. Shepard was in no way good enough for her. She only brought destruction and grief wherever she went. And she did not wish any of those things for Liara.

Their brief encounter had run its course, and when Liara started to fiddle with her shirt, Shepard thought it would be best to end the night.

"I think I’m gonna go. It’s been a long day," she said while eyeing the asari for any response.

"I better get home as well. I have an early day tomorrow." 

"You want me to call you a cab? I’ll wait outside with you..."

"No, you don’t need to do that. Thank you for tonight, Shepard. I had a great time." Liara smiled a genuine smile, and Shepard stepped forward and reached out a hand.

"Me too. Goodbye Liara." 

Liara took her hand and squeezed it gently.

"Goodbye Shepard."

Shepard walked Liara down the stairs and watched as she left the nightclub. She sighed and walked back up, crashing down on Aria’s couch. She got a pressing feeling in her chest, like her usual panic threatening to surface. She put her head in her hands and let out a shuddering breath. 

_ Fuck! _

Of course, she had to go ruin the evening. Shepard could never seem to be able to control her anger, and now she felt something she didn’t know how to describe. Why did she suddenly feel like letting Liara go was a bad idea? She knew nothing about her. She had only just met her for god's sake. Shepard tried to reason with herself, that this was truly stupid. If she wanted someone to fuck, she could just go downstairs and talk to another asari. It would take her less than ten minutes to find someone she could take home. But she didn't want that. She felt absolutely no need at all for a quick and easy solution tonight. What she seemed to crave was something else, and Shepard wasn’t sure what that was.

But she knew she had to see Liara again.

_ Fuck. _


	4. Protector

As Liara continued to walk down the street, she got a chilling feeling that crept through her whole body. The feeling of being watched and followed. She picked up the pace, as quickly as she could manage in these heels. They were really impractical, but Shiala had talked her into wearing them. 

_ Click click click _ \- was all she heard as she continued down the dark alley, the sound ricocheting off the walls. This had not been a very good idea. Liara was never reckless. She never decided on something without doing proper research first and having a plan to stick with. This was not like her, to do something so stupid as to walk around on Omega alone after dark. Liara cursed herself for not waiting outside Afterlife for a free cab, or to let Shepard wait with her. But at the time she had just wanted to get home, and it shouldn't take her more than a little over ten minutes to walk. Now she had been walking for fifteen, and she made the sickening realization that she was lost. 

Liara stopped and willed her racing heart to calm down before opening her omni-tool and punching in her address to help her navigate where to go. Suddenly she heard a ruckus from behind, and she heard footsteps heading her way. She closed her omni-tool quickly and continued walking. As she took a turn left into another alley, she could hear the footsteps getting closer, and the sickening feeling getting tighter and tighter in her throat, making it hard to breathe. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she tried to walk faster, but damn those heels... Suddenly, Liara had to stop. She had nowhere to go. She had walked straight into a one-way street, with empty buildings around, closing her off from the world. She turned and looked at the direction she had come from, the footsteps getting closer and closer until she had a visual of the men following her.

Her blood froze.

"There she is!" one of them called out and Liara instantly recognized him. It was the same guy that had tried to touch her at Afterlife. The man Shepard had almost killed. Now she regretted stopping Shepard from going through with it.

_ Goddess. _

This time he wasn't alone. Three other men were following him, one of them whistling when he laid his eyes on Liara. They all closed in on her while she stood frozen to the spot.

"So this is the bitch you were talking about? Damn, I can see why you wanted to fuck her," one of them said, looking Liara up and down while the man from the bar stepped closer and grabbed her around her waist.

“Don’t touch me!” Liara snapped, and shrugged his hands off. She could defend herself if need be but only as a last resort. She managed to take a few steps backwards, only to press herself closer against the brick wall, denying her any escape.

"Oh, she is feisty," the man leered and grabbed after her again, and this time he held her tighter, pressing his hands into the sides of her abdomen.

Liara couldn’t move him with brute force so she decided to switch to something she was more adept at. She tried to think of a way to escape as her biotics flared up.

"I thought you drugged her!" one of the guys yelled as blue wisps were becoming more visible around her.

Liara summoned everything she got and threw out her arm to place a warp into the men in front of her. But nothing happened. The blue light from her biotics only flickered around her open palm. She tried again and again until she realized she couldn't do anything. She was truly helpless now.

"I did," the guy holding her said, before he started laughing when he watched as Liara’s expression turned into one of panic. "I put suppressants in her wine." 

One of the other men stepped closer and grabbed Liara’s cheek. She pushed his hand away, but that only led him to do it again. His fingers dug into her skin as he forced her to look at him. 

"Please..." Liara begged, her voice trembling, but they were not going to listen to her pleads. Deep down, Liara knew that.

"Don’t fucking touch her. I want my turn first," the man from the bar said, pushing her hard up against the brick wall. His hands searched out her breasts and started to knead them through the fabric of her shirt. Liara should have tried to defend herself, she should have tried to push him away, to scream for help or to do... well to do something, anything really. But she couldn't without her biotics. She was completely frozen, her arms stiff along the side of her body. She turned her head to the side, not wanting to look at the man touching her. She closed her eyes and prayed to Athame over and over again as she felt cold, callous hands on her thighs when the man pulled her skirt up to her waist, exposing her underwear.

"God. Look at that!" one of the other guys said as he reached out with his hand to touch her. 

"Hands off!" the guy from the club barked. “Hold her still while I fuck her.”

One guy grabbed Liara’s wrists and pulled them over her head, pinning them together while the man in front of her started to unbuckle his belt.

"Fuck, you look so nice. I bet you are nice and wet under those panties..."

Liara felt tears starting to roll down her cheeks. She had tried to hold them back. She didn’t want to give these men the satisfaction of showing how this was affecting her. But Liara couldn’t hold them back any longer. She shut her eyes, wishing she was back in Serrice, in her safe apartment, in her safe neighborhood. In the safe embrace of her girlfriend...

"Let her go!" someone called out from the dark behind them.

Liara’s eyes opened slowly, like she couldn’t believe what she heard at first. She turned her head to get a better look at the source of the voice. She couldn’t see anything, but she really didn't need the visual to be sure. She recognized that voice. 

_ Shepard. By the goddess, Shepard. _

Two of the men pulled their guns and pointed it towards the dark, as the silhouette came closer and stepped out from the shadows into the open, revealing itself.

"Let. Her. Go," Shepard demanded again, rage boiling inside her narrow eyes. Her presence alone was enough to make Liara shiver. Shepard did not take her eyes off the guy in front of Liara, as her eyes were burning into him. She was ready to attack, and Liara knew that this time he would not stand a chance.

"What the fuck!" The guy from Afterlife stepped back from Liara, pulling his pants quickly back up. "You again!"

"Shepard!" Liara cried out, still unable to move. "They’re armed"

"Yeah. Listen to your asari bitch, woman. Step the fuck back, or we will shoot you," one of the guys said, while he popped his heat sink and aimed the gun point-blank at Shepard. 

"Let her go!" Shepard screamed, and as she did everything around Liara flashed blue. She didn't understand what was happening right away, but after a second she saw two of the men being slammed into the brick wall. In the spot they had been standing, Shepard stood bathed in blue wisps of biotics. Both of them had been knocked down with a powerful charge, one of them dropped his gun, and it clattered as it hit the pavement. 

The other armed guy managed to fire once at Shepard before she surged forward and slammed the ground in front of him with what Liara guessed was a Nova, making him stagger back several paces. Shepard then drew her gun, aimed it at his head and pulled the trigger twice in quick succession. 

Liara could only watch as Shepard in full rage turned towards the guy that had harassed her at Afterlife. She strode quickly over to him, using her gun to knock him to the ground while she threw herself over him, hitting him and smashing his skull against the concrete until all he did was croak and gasp for air while blood poured out from his mouth and was pooling around his head. Shepard stood up and aimed her gun at him and fired a shot aimed directly between his eyes, killing him instantly. 

That left one guy, now scrambling to his feet, only getting to his knees before Shepard got over to him, her gun pressed into his skull. 

"P- please! I have a kid," he begged for his life. "This wasn't my idea. Please, you gotta understand. I didn't have a choice!"

"You made your choice. And now you have to die." Shepards voice was cold as ice, and Liara managed to tear herself out of her frozen position. 

"Shepard," she said. Her voice frail and low. "Don't kill him. He's unarmed."

When she saw Shepard hesitating, Liara stepped even closer, stretching out her arm to touch Shepard’s shoulder. She could feel the human shaking beneath her hand and breathing heavily.

"Shepard..." 

Shepard lowered her gun and grabbed the man, slamming him into the wall, before lifting her gun again and pressing it into his mouth.

"You will remember this. And you will tell your friends. If anyone ever lays a hand on Liara again, I will personally hunt you down and kill you! And believe me, It won't be a quick death," Shepard threatened before throwing him down to the ground. Liara stood frozen while watching as the man scrambled to his feet and ran away in terror.

Shepard turned in an instance, stepping close to Liara, pulling her skirt down and checking her for any injuries. 

"Are you ok? Did they harm you?" Shepard sounded frantic, but as Liara lifted her hand onto Shepard’s upper arm, she calmed down a bit. Slowly, a warm sensation spread along Liara’s fingers and she drew her eyes onto Shepard’s arm. Liara saw blood pooling from the wound.

"By the goddess. They shot you!"

Shepard looked at her arm, "it's nothing. Bullet just grazed me. I've experienced worse."

"B- But you are bleeding. You need to go to a hospital..."

"No. I’m getting you home. I can get it checked out in the morning. Really, I’m fine!" Shepard insisted. 

“Okay…” 

It took Liara a few seconds before she realized what had happened. She looked down at her hands, they were shaking badly now. She raised one hand, holding it over her mouth. 

“Goddess. I- I...”

Shepard put her arms around the shaking asari. She pulled Liara into her chest, the closeness and warmth radiating from Shepard made Liara release all of her emotions. She sobbed into Shepard's chest, clutching at her tank-top with her hands, while Shepard stroked her back, trying to soothe her.

“I’m so sorry...” Shepard whispered, and Liara felt Shepard’s head resting in the crook of her neck while pulling Liara in even tighter. “I should never have let you go alone. I’m so sorry...”

Liara put her arms around Shepard and placed them on her back. She could feel Shepard’s muscles through her jacket, slightly trembling. Shepard was strong and safe, and Liara felt like she could stand like this forever.

After her sobs started to quiet down, Liara pulled back a little, wiping her tears before looking into Shepard’s green eyes, “you don't have anything to apologize for. Goddess. You just saved my life, Shepard. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up…”

“I should have been here sooner. I should never have let you leave alone.” Shepard avoided direct eye contact, but Liara cupped her cheek with one hand and drew her back, fixing her eyes on hers, forcing Shepard to look at her.

“You came. You saved my life. Thank you,” she said before embracing Shepard again. “Now will you please take me home?”

Shepard removed her own jacket and placed it over Liara's shaking shoulders, “I don’t want you to get cold.”

Liara smiled at her, and Shepard managed a small smile back.

“Now where do you live?”

* * *

When they reached the apartment, Liara thanked Shepard again and asked if she should call her a cab.

“I'm not leaving you alone, Liara,” Shepard said, crossing her arms over her chest. “If you don't mind, I would like to stay with you until you feel better..”

“I'm already feeling better-” Liara started but Shepard interrupted her.

“No, I will stay down here, and you can call on me if you need anything. I'm not leaving you alone again. I already made that mistake today... And look where it got us.”

“And I really appreciate what you did. Goddess knows I do. But I will be fine. I just need to take a shower and get some sleep,” Liara said, unlocking the door to her apartment building and taking a step inside. She saw Shepard take a seat outside on the ground, her back against the wall.

“What are you doing Shepard?”

“Like I said. I’m not leaving you...”

Liara contemplated what to do, and before she really knew what she was saying the words had already left her mouth. “Then at least come upstairs. You can’t sit out here all night... I- You can sleep on my couch. Although I really don't need you to-”

Shepard instantly stood up and walked inside, stepping around the asari. Liara closed the door and locked it before calling the elevator. Her apartment was on the 8th floor, so it was a quick ride. A ride that went on in complete silence. 

As they went inside the apartment, Liara showed Shepard to the living room. Shepard sat down and Liara went out to the kitchen.

“Do you want anything to drink?” she asked.

“Yeah. Water will be fine, thanks.” 

Liara filled to glasses and walked out, putting them on the table and taking a seat on the couch beside Shepard. Shepard looked distant, her gaze focused out the window on the far wall.

“I was born and raised on Mindoir.”

Liara looked surprised over at the human.

“Do you know of it?” Shepard asked when Liara had not given her a response.

“Yes, I do. Did you-” Liara was unsure if she should continue. Shepard had just given her a glimpse into her past, and Liara was scared to push in case she closed down again. She took a deep breath and continued anyway, “did you live there during the batarian raid?”

Shepard sighed. “Yeah. I did.”

“You survived.”

“Not many did...”

“If you don't want to talk about it, I understand, Shepard.”

Shepard rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward, cradling her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead. “My whole family was killed that day. I watched them get slaughtered... And there was not a damn thing I could do about it.”

Liara watched closely as Shepard struggled with what she was sharing. The human was biting her lip, she was slightly trembling, her legs tapping the floor. Liara decided to stay quiet, letting Shepard share in her own tempo. Her eyes still fixed out the window.

“After the batarians killed my family, they found me. I was doing a poor job of hiding. There were three of them. They took me inside our house and they...” Shepard stopped, she slowly closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. A single tear escaped and ran down her cheek.

“Let’s just say that what almost happened tonight hit close to home.” Shepard quickly wiped away the tear.

Liara felt her heart break. Shepard was sharing one of her darkest memories from her past, and all she wanted to do was to hold her, soothe her and take away the pain. She scooted just a bit closer to Shepard, and she turned towards her, unsure if to take one of her hands in hers or not. She decided she shouldn't. She didn't want to scare her away. Shepard obviously needed to talk about this. She needed someone to share her pain with, and Liara wanted to be that person.

“How old were you?” Liara asked after several moments of silence.

“We just celebrated my 11th birthday the day before.”

“Oh, Shepard...” Liara closed the distance between them and this time she didn't hesitate. She lay her hand on Shepard's arm. “I am so sorry you had to experience that. I cannot even begin to imagine how that must have been for you. What it must have done to you... Goddess, you were just a child!” 

She felt her eyes tearing up, and when Shepard turned around and her green eyes met her own she could not hold the tears back. The pain and despair she saw in Shepard’s eyes made her heart clench with pain. She felt physically ill at what Shepard had experienced. She had just been a child. She now understood were Shepard’s rage stemmed from. 

Liara started to stroke her arm, then she lifted her other hand up and cupped Shepard’s cheek. “I’m so sorry...” she said again. She used her thumb to slowly wipe away another tear that had escaped her eyes.

“Seeing what those guys did to you today... What they said. At least this time I could do something to stop it. I would never let anyone hurt you... Never.”

“Thank you,” Liara whispered, stroking her cheek. She found herself lost in Shepard’s eyes as they were sparkling with a mix of tears and the dim light coming from the kitchen. Liara knew she should pull away, that it was okay to show Shepard that she cared, but the way she was stroking her cheek was probably too much. When she found it impossible to tear her eyes away, her lips slightly parted, like she wanted to speak, but no words came out. She felt an impossible pull towards her rescuer. One she could not control.

_ The way she looks at me. It should not... I should not...  _

Before Liara could even begin to process what was happening, Shepard was leaning forward, and Liara did nothing to pull away. When their lips met, Liara felt like she had been struck by lightning. A shiver ran through her whole body, visibly making her tremble. She froze, and she felt Shepard do the same. They both held completely still, not pulling away and not continuing the kiss. It felt like they sat like this for a long time, but it was probably just a few seconds when Shepard suddenly pulled herself away. 

“I’m sorry.” She breathed. 

Shepard was still only inches from Liara’s mouth, her hot breath hitting Liara's lips, sending a pulse of warmth straight down her spine, settling in her lower stomach. Liara felt her heart hammering in her chest, as she slowly opened her eyes to look straight into Shepard’s.

“Don’t be.” Her voice only a quiet whisper of breath. 

Liara didn't know what she was saying or what she was feeling. Her emotions seemed to boil over. She felt faint, dizzy, and her heart pounded harder and harder in her chest. She had lost all self-control, and when Shepard was this close it was almost impossible to get her brain to work properly. She knew in the back of her mind that she should have been the one to pull away. Why hadn’t she pulled away? She should not have been in this situation at all. They should not be this close.

_ Goddess, Falere. _

Liara removed her hand from Shepard’s cheek, pulling it away so fast like it was set on fire. She clasped her hands together in her lap, pulling slightly away from the human, creating more distance between them.

“I am sorry, Shepard. I- I shouldn't have done that.”

“Liara...” 

“No, Shepard. I was just overwhelmed. By everything...” She took a deep breath before continuing, struggling to look Shepard in the eyes this time.

“I have a girlfriend back home.” 

“Oh.”

Liara tried to hold Shepard’s gaze, but the human looked away. “I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just- I just didn't think it would matter...”

“No, I understand. I'm happy for you. Really.“ Shepard looked at her again, a smile forming on her lips.

Liara smiled back. Then she caught a glimpse of Shepard's right arm, which she had totally forgotten about. “By the goddess! Your arm. I can't believe I forgot...” She grabbed Shepard's shoulder and turned her around so she could inspect her upper arm. 

“It’s nothing Liara. Bullet just grazed me. See, it's even stopped bleeding.”

“It is not nothing. You were shot, Shepard!” 

“That's not getting shot...” Shepard pulled her top up, revealing a big round ragged scar on her abdomen. “This is getting shot. The bullet went straight through. I was lucky, the doctor told me if it had been one inch to the left I would have bled out and died on the spot.” The smirk that formed on Shepard's lips made Liara uncomfortable.

“You really should be more careful.” 

“It’s my job. What am I going to do...”

"Find another job?"

Both of them started to laugh.

Suddenly Liara’s head started to pound, and a queasy feeling started to evolve in her stomach. She lifted her hand to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

"Are you okay?" Shepard asked.

"I think I need to lie down. I’m not feeling so well..." Liara tried to stand up, but then she felt the room spinning, and she lost her footing. She felt strong arms catch her and steady her.

"Easy there," Shepard said. Her brows furrowing. "Let me help you to bed. Ok?"

"Thank you."

Liara leaned on Shepard as she led her to the bedroom and helped her onto the bed. Liara lay down on her pillow, and Shepard pulled the sheets up over her.

"Do you feel nauseous? Is your head hurting?" Shepard asked while kneeling down beside the bed.

"Yes... It must be the suppressants."

"Suppressants? Biotic suppressants?"

"Yes. I tried summoning my biotics when they attacked me but I couldn't. They told me-"

"They drugged you?!" Shepard barked. "God, I should have killed every one of them..."

"Shepard." Liara reached down and grabbed one pale hand. "It's okay. You saved me. That's all that matters. I am safe because of you. The nausea and headache will pass. I just need to sleep."

Shepard sighed. "Well, I’m certainly not leaving you alone tonight." She stood up before continuing. "If it's okay with you, I would like to stay. I’ll crash on your couch."

"Shepard, you don't need to-"

"Yeah I do, Liara. I'm not leaving. I won’t disturb you. I’m just staying to make sure you’ll be ok. Just in case." Shepard smiled, and Liara felt a warm feeling buzz through her body.

"Ok," she said before nuzzling into the pillow. She felt so tired, so exhausted. Her mind was starting to shut down, and she closed her eyes. Although what had happened should have left her in a state of panic, feeling scared and sick and sad, she didn't. She felt safe. Shepard would stay and make sure she was ok. 

She was on Omega, but Liara had never felt safer in her life.

"Goodnight," she whispered, too tired to speak any louder.

"Goodnight, Liara. Get a good night's sleep. I will be here and make sure you’re safe." 

Liara was already drifting into sleep.

_ I know you will... _

When Liara woke, she knew she had been sleeping for hours, and the sleep had done her good. She sat up in her bed, stretching before she placed her feet on the cool floor, getting ready to get up. She was still wearing the clothes from yesterday, so she took them off and pulled a bathrobe around herself, tying it around her waist. She stepped into the living room, only to see she was alone.

She walked over to the couch, and she saw one of her pillows and a blanket laying there. She sat down and picked up the pillow, pressed it against her chest as the memory of yesterday crept back into her mind. Not the unpleasant accident, but the kiss... The scent coming from the pillow was all Shepard, and for a moment Liara closed her eyes, imagining that she was still here with her.

It was stupid, really. Totally uncalled for. She knew that. 

She opened her eyes again and put the pillow down, only to spot a note on the table. She reached for it and opened it. It was from Shepard.

_ [ I’m sorry, I had to leave, but I didn't leave you unprotected. Grizz is guarding your door, and he will stay there until I tell him not to. That means he will also escort you to work today should you decide to go.  _

_ Ps. Don't try to tell him to leave. He won’t. _

- _ Shepard. ] _

Liara snorted, her lips curling into a smile. 

_ Oh Shepard... _


	5. A Dangerous Life

"Liara!" Shepard yelled when she saw the asari walking down the hallway outside.

Liara stopped in an instance and turned around facing the voice. She looked surprised to see Shepard sitting in one of the treatment rooms. 

"Shepard?" She walked inside and stepped closer to the human, "What are you doing here? Are you hurt?" Her eyes went over her looking for injuries.

"Nothing unusual," Shepard said while looking down at her thigh, and then instantly regretting it when she suddenly realized she wasn't wearing any pants. She was seated at the edge of the treatment bench in only her boxers and a tank-top. 

Liara's eyes followed Shepard’s and the asari cleared her throat when she made the same realization Shepard had made.

"I just got shot... again." Shepard smiled while rubbing her neck awkwardly.

"Shepard..." Liara sighed while shaking her head. Obviously she wasn't very impressed with Shepard’s ability to always get caught in the line of fire.

"Nurse here says it’s nothing serious though. She just wants to clean it up and stick on some bandages. I’ll be out of here in no time."

"And you will probably be back here again tomorrow, right?" Liara noted and cast her an unimpressed look, making Shepard’s grin grow even wider.

"If that means I get to talk to you, I wouldn't mind it..." 

Liara instantly blushed and looked away.

_ Why the fuck did I say that? _

"I mean... I... Ah!" 

An asari nurse entered the room with some cotton patches, a disinfectant, medigel, and some bandages. She set it down on the bench beside Shepard and got herself ready to clean her wound.

"This might sting a bit," the nurse said before wetting the cotton with the disinfectant and bringing it to the wound on Shepard’s thigh, patting it carefully at first to remove the blood surrounding it.

Shepard winced, then she caught Liara staring intently at the asari. Liara frowned her eyebrows and bit her lip like she was stopping herself from saying something. After a couple of seconds, she spoke anyway.

"Nurse? Let me take care of it. I am here to talk to Shepard anyway..." Liara said. She stepped closer and reached out her hand to take the equipment from the nurse.

"I’m not letting a stranger come in here and do my job. I have helped Shepard many times before. I just need to clean-"

"There is no need for you to do that. I know how to clean and bandage a wound, nurse?"

"Irilla. And you are?”

“I am Dr. Liara T’Soni. And I am no stranger. I work here,” Liara said in a stern voice, obviously not going to let the nurse get her way.

“Okay... I can’t say that I have seen you here before,” Irilla said, putting down the patches. She looked up at Shepard who was just watching with amusement the two asaris battle over her body. Because that was what they were doing, right? Right?

_ Of course, they are. _

And If Liara was that interested in touching her, Shepard was not going to deny her.

"I can vouch for Liara here. She's a very capable doctor." 

The look Liara gave Shepard made her grin.

Irilla looked like she wasn't going to give up without a fight, and although Shepard was very interested to see how far that fight would go, she decided to help Liara out.

"Actually, if we could get some privacy we would be very thankful, Irilla."

"Fine," Irilla said annoyed. “If you want to do this, be my guest...” She showed the equipment into Liara’s hands and walked out of the room.

Liara stepped closer to the bench, then she waited until the nurse closed the door before she picked up a cotton patch, soaked it and started to clean carefully around Shepard’s wound. She did not take her eyes away from what she was doing, and something told Shepard that whatever Liara was doing, she would make sure it was done with perfection.

“I didn’t know you were this kind of Doctor,” Shepard smirked, waiting for Liara to look up at her. 

"You just told the nurse that I am a very capable doctor, Shepard."

"And I bet you are. Besides, I think Irilla just wanted me to herself. She's usually quite _ forward _if you know what I mean."

“You know her?”

Liara was still focusing on cleaning the wound and had not looked up one time, and Shepard started to wonder if she had done or said something wrong. 

“I don’t know her on a personal level. But she is usually the one patching me up so,” Shepard said, leaning her body a bit back, supporting herself on her arms.

“And she has tried on several occasions to get me to invite her out.”

“But you have not?”

“Nah. She just doesn't seem like my type.”

That finally made Liara look up, “Because she’s asari?”

“What? No! What gave you that impression? I love asari, actually, if that was everything I was going to base it on she would definitely be my type...” Shepard rambled, and then she instantly wished she had pushed her whole fist into her mouth to stop her from this stupid blabbering. Liara looked down again, but Shepard did not miss the way the corners of her lips curled upwards.

Liara put away the cotton patch and picked up the tube of medigel. She pressed it out onto two of her fingers. She placed one hand on Shepard’s thigh to hold it still, before she started to massage the gel it into the wound with her other hand.

Shepard looked down and the sight of Liara’s blue slender fingers working on her thigh left her breathless. She felt a spike of arousal start in her neck, move down her spine and turn into a warm fluttering feeling deep down in her abdomen. There was something about the way Liara's fingers worked her thigh, the way her skin felt against hers. While Shepard continued to watch Liara’s fingers she felt her breathing increase, to a point where her chest started to rise and heave more than usual. Shepard wondered how long Liara was going to continue this... _ torture _. She had already covered the wound several times over, wouldn't that be enough? Not even Irilla used to treat her like this.

It was embarrassing really. That Shepard, so used to being touched and treated, was reacting this..._ badly _. This very visibly. She swallowed, trying to find something to say to take her focus away from what Liara was doing. And when a low but very much soundable moan escaped her mouth she wanted the ground to swallow her up. She was very glad Liara didn't look at her right now. She was probably red as a tomato.

_ I need to get laid. _

_ God Shepard, get a grip. _

Without her intent, her leg twitched and Liara’s hand stopped for a second before she continued her torturous massage.

“Hold still, Shepard,” she said, and this time she looked up and smiled. “There. All done.”

When she withdrew her fingers Shepard felt like she could breathe again.

“Thanks... Looks good, Doc.” she managed to croak out.

“I told you I know how to do this. Now stand up so I can put on the bandage.” 

Even though Shepard was a lot taller than Liara, the asari still had to kneel to be able to perfectly put the bandage around her leg. 

Liara cleared her throat, "You will have to spread your legs a little for me to be able to reach..." 

"Oh. Right," Shepard said, doing as she had been told and when she looked down she caught a glimpse of Liara’s face, that had turned visibly darker since before.

_ Is she blushing? _

Shepard prayed that Liara would not look too closely anywhere else than where she was putting on the bandage. Liara’s massage of her thigh had made her wet. She was sure of it if the constant throbbing she felt between her legs was any indication. 

_ She has a girlfriend. She has a girlfriend. _

_ And I need to get laid... Note to self, get laid at the earliest instance. _

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and stared up into the roof of the clinic. She made a silent prayer to her maker that Liara wouldn't be able to detect her... _ problem. _It became clear to Shepard that if this was how her body had decided to behave and react around Liara, she would need to take matters in her own hands and have sex more often.

Much more often.

"Done," Liara said before getting back up.

_ Thank god! _

"Great. Thanks," Shepard squeaked. She felt relieved Liara was nowhere near her uncontrolled libido anymore. She jumped back onto the bed, watching as Liara cleaned off her hands with a towel.

Shepard waited until her breathing had returned to a somewhat normal state before she spoke again.

"I’m sorry I had to leave this morning. But I would never have left if I didn't know you would be totally safe. I trust Grizz with my life."

Liara smiled at her.

"Anyway. How are you feeling? Considering what you went through last night..."

"I am fine. I got a good night's sleep and that seemed to help a lot."

"I’m glad."

"Thank you again, Shepard. For what you did for me." Liara looked down into her hands, and her voice carried a hint of sadness. "I am sorry about what happened. At my apartment. I never meant to lead you on..."

"Hey..." Shepard stretched out her hand and took one of Liara’s in hers. Liara fixed her eyes at her. And Shepard could not help to stare back into her blue eyes.

"It’s not your fault. I should never have kissed you. You weren't yourself and with everything that had happened. I should be the one to apologize," Shepard insisted.

"I just hope I did not scare you away, Shepard. I would very much like us to be... friends. If that is something you would want?"

Liara looked so insecure Shepard wanted to swoop her up in her arms and tell her how she wanted to be much more than that. But this was not the time. They had only just met and Liara had been very clear about her relationship. Still, she did not want to stop seeing her. If friendship were what Liara wanted, Shepard would very much oblige.

"I would like that very much, Liara.”

"I’m glad," Liara said, before letting go of Shepard’s hand. She started looking around the room like she was searching for something.

"Ah," She exclaimed, picking up Shepard’s pants and tossing them at her. "If you don't have anything else to do right now I was thinking of going out for lunch. Maybe you would like to join me?"

"Our first lunch as friends... I would love to. I’m kinda hungry myself." Shepard said before she jumped down from the bench and put her pants back on.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Oh, I don't know. I usually just go right down the street to this little coffee shop. I think it's called Harrot's."

"Sounds good!" Shepard said giving Liara a smile.

"You might want to tell Grizz that he can go home now..." Liara said. Her lips turning into a smirk, "Or do you want him to join us?"

"Nah. I’ll let him go. I want you all to myself."

Liara’s eyes widened, “Oh, you do, do you?” she teased.

Shepard only grinned as she walked past the asari in search of Grizz.

* * *

Shepard leaned back into the brown couch and patted her stomach. “That was a heavy lunch. Wooh. I don't think I will need to eat ever again.”

Liara giggled while looking at Shepard. “I am glad you enjoyed it. I was unsure if you would like Thessian cuisine.”

“Are you kidding! I can't believe I haven't tried it before. Now I’m definitely coming back here...”

“Where do you usually eat, Shepard?” 

Shepard frowned, looking rather embarrassed. “Well, to be honest... I usually eat at my place or Afterlife.”

Liara raised her eyebrows and faked a shocked expression.

“Afterlife serve food?”

“It’s eatable... So if that qualifies for it to be called food, then yes.”

“So you cook then?” Liara asked.

“Oh no, well... sometimes. But you see, and this is the rather embarrassing part. I have Nyxeris to take care of that...” Shepard confessed before she felt a blush creep up her face. It was the first time Liara had ever seen her so flustered.

“Nyxeris? Your-?”

Shepard hurried to explain, “Oh No! No, no. She’s my assistant and Arias. She usually stocks the fridge and makes sure we have meals ready, so we can just heat it up.” 

“Are you serious, Shepard?” Liara asked while looking at her intently.

“Dead serious. I dunno what I would have done without her. She’s the only one that has access to our places. She can come and go as she likes. She even takes care of the laundry.”

“And your… girlfriends... they don't mind her doing this for you?” Liara blurted before cursing herself for asking. 

_ Why did I ask that? _What did it matter to her if Shepard’s girlfriend or multiple girlfriends would mind her assistant? 

_ Because if we were together, I would not accept another woman having free entry to your apartment and to- _

Liara stopped herself from continuing the thought. Why her brain suddenly found that particular situation worth thinking about she didn't know. It certainly didn't matter to her. 

“My girlfriends?” Shepard chuckled. “I don't have girlfriends. I don't think I would be a very good girlfriend material after all... My job kinda gets in the way of things.” 

Shepard rubbed her neck, looking uncomfortable. Their eyes met over the table, and Liara thought it would be best to ask about something else. She really had no interest in hearing about Shepard’s conquests or whatever they were. Even if they were becoming friends, that was not something she wanted to picture.

A waitress came over and interrupted them to Liara’s relief, and they ordered more to drink. Liara wanted a cup of tea, while Shepard was having a cup of black coffee. When the waitress got back just minutes later, Liara continued their conversation.

“How long have you been working for Aria?”

“As long as I have lived here, actually. From the first time I met her, I started working with her. I try to help her keep some sort of order and control on this station.”

Liara took a sip of her tea, watching as Shepard followed her with her eyes. Her gaze slipped down to her lips when she sipped from the cup. The look felt so intimate, it made Liara shiver.

“How did you two meet?” She asked, placing her cup back down on the table and folding her hands around it.

“I actually saved her life. That was how we met.”

“Now that seems like a very interesting story, Shepard. Would you care to tell me more?”

“I dunno if I should,” Shepard said, suddenly leaning over the table as if she wanted to whisper something. Liara found herself leaning forward herself, meeting Shepard halfway over the table.

“I don’t think she would be very happy that I go around spreading stories about the time she needed rescuing,” Shepard said quietly, and Liara’s eyes widened.

“Oh...?”

“Come here,“ Shepard whispered, a grin forming on her face. Liara leaned in even closer, and Shepard tilted her head to the side, so she was besides Liara's crest. Then she whispered again, her hot breath tickling Liara’s crest and sending a jolt down her spine. Liara felt her breath hitch in her throat, and she had to close her eyes to be able to focus.

“If you promise not tell her I told you...”

“I promise...” Liara breathed back instantly. Her eyes were still closed and then she suddenly inhaled, and the scent of Shepard hit her and made her heart start to pound in her chest. It was just like she remembered from the pillow. Strong and sweet, with a hint of something flowery. And Liara found the scent hitting her very core. She did smell really good. So good, in fact, Liara had to inhale again hoping Shepard wouldn't notice it. 

_ Dear goddess, don't make her notice it. _

Then the scent vanished, and Liara opened her eyes again. She felt a flush threatening to rise, but she managed to push it back. It would have totally given her away. And she should not be reacting this way. What would Shepard think if she caught her sniffing at her neck?

_ That would be mortifying. _

She leaned back into the couch and grabbed her cup of tea again.

"I was hanging out at Afterlife my first night here on Omega. I didn’t even know who Aria was until I saw her up on her throne. Anyway, I was standing at the back drinking, then I spotted a batarian entering. Something about the way he moved and acted just seemed wrong to me. So I continued to follow him." 

"I think I followed him for at least an hour. He seemed normal, but it was just something about him I couldn't put my finger on... Then it all happened very fast. Four armed men barged through the door, shooting up the place. I recognized it as a distraction straight away.”

Shepard grabbed her coffee to take a sip. 

“Then what happened?” Liara asked, fascinated by the story.

“Aria’s guards, of course, focused on the four armed men, while the batarian snuck up the stairs unnoticed. When I arrived upstairs, he was holding Aria at gunpoint. Luckily for her, I was quicker to pull trigger.”

“You shot him?”

“Yeah. And the worst was... Aria was just sitting there on her couch like nothing had happened. That awful smug smirk on her face. She didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that she was two seconds from being assassinated.” Shepard shook her head. 

“She later told me she was very impressed by my intuition and awareness. She needed someone like that around. So I stuck around, and ever since that day I have been working with her.”

“So you have a habit of rescuing women in need?” Liara quizzed with a teasing voice, and she tried to hold back the subtle smile forming on her lips. She was unsuccessful.

Shepard grinned, “I guess I do...”

For a moment Liara lost herself in Shepard’s green eyes. When Shepard looked at her like that, with that smug grin on her face, it was hard to find anything else to focus on or to get her mind to work properly. She found the whole thing rather strange. How could a human she had only known for three days make her react this way? Liara blamed it on her curiosity. She found Shepard very interesting, and with the small pieces Shepard had started to share with her about her life, Liara discovered she only wanted to know more. It was probably her professional curiosity about unknown history that made her reach this way. She was sure of it.

*BANG*

The glass from the window scattered all around them as two more loud bangs were heard echoing through the cafe. Liara did not have time to react to the noise before Shepard threw herself over the table, dragging Liara down with her onto the floor. She pressed her body over Liara’s, caging her in to protect her from any oncoming attack. 

“Oh goddess, what is happening?” Liara shrieked, her voice trembling. People were screaming all around them. Someone ran outside in full panic while others hid beneath tables, behind chairs and the counter.

“Be quiet and don't move. Just stay completely still until I say otherwise.” 

Shepard’s voice was commanding, and Liara had never heard her like this before. She nodded her head, hoping Shepard could feel it. Suddenly the pressure and safety of Shepard's body disappeared, and Liara turned her head to get a vision of what was happening. Shepard crawled over towards the door, before she slowly got up along the wall beside it, removing her gun from her belt, loading it and holding it up ready for action. Liara watched as Shepard’s expression changed. She was radiating security, calmness, and strength. Liara was certain that this was a kind of situation Shepard was used to. And that thought made her shiver.

Suddenly Shepard disappeared outside and Liara felt a sense of panic rise up inside her. If someone was shooting at them, and Shepard went outside she would be the perfect target. She had no armor or any other protection than her gun. 

_ Goddess... What if she gets shot again. _

Liara stayed down even if her body screamed at her to move. She wanted to run outside as well, she needed to see that Shepard was okay. She hadn’t heard any new gunshots, so that gave her some relief.

Suddenly Shepard slipped inside the cafe again, still holding her gun raised. She kneeled down beside Liara, opened her omni-tool and tapped out a number. After a few seconds, someone answered on the other end.

“Grizz. Get the guys and do a sweep around Harrot’s Cafe in the Gozu District. Someone just tried to kill me. And find out who has placed a hit on me this time!”

_ This time? Goddess, was this a usual occurrence in Shepard's life? _

Shepard helped Liara up on her feet, guiding her over to the corner of the cafe, away from any windows. She told her to sit down, and then she moved to ask around and helping the other people in the cafe. After a little while, people started to calm down, most of the guests had left and the poor waitress that had been serving them were answering questions asked by the security that had showed up. 

“What happened, Shepard? Is someone trying to kill you?” Liara worried, her heart was still hammering in her chest.

“Probably. It wouldn't be the first time...” Shepard said, before she sat down beside her. She had her eyes glued to the front door at all time, her gun laid out on the table in front of her. She was still ready to act if it became necessary.

“I'm so sorry, Liara. I shouldn't have dragged you into this. Not so soon after what happened yesterday...”

“What do you mean, Shepard?”

“The guys I killed yesterday probably belonged to one of the factions. I should have known someone would come after me. And I was an idiot for taking you with me today, putting you in the line of fire.” Shepard growled while slamming her hand onto the table.

“Fuck, how could I be so stupid?”

“Shepard…” Liara breathed and she moved one hand and put in on Shepard’s arm, but the human only kept her eyes forward. Her face was stern, looked cold even and Liara thought she recognized some of the anger showing in her eyes.

She wanted to tell her this was not her fault. Shepard could not have foreseen this any more than she could have foreseen what happened yesterday. And this lunch had been her idea. But when Shepard shrugged her blue hand off her arm, Liara pulled it back, the feeling of rejection burning into her already frail heart.

They sat in silence for a while before several armed mercs entered the cafe and Shepard got up to talk to one of them. She then waved Liara over.

“Sheerk here is going to drive you home, Liara,” Shepard said, her voice sounding cold and harsh.

“Home? But I need to get back to work.” 

“No. You are going straight home. I'm not taking any more chances-”

“That is not your decision to make, Shepard. I am going back to work. And there is nothing you can do about that,” Liara’s stern voice made Shepard fix her eyes on her for the first time since the shooting.

“Liara... Don’t argue with me.”

Liara was getting angry now. Shepard had no right to order her around like a child. She was going back to work. And there was nothing Shepard or anyone else could do to stop her. She briskly strode past Shepard and stepped outside of the cafe, before walking in the direction of the clinic.

“Liara. Stop,” Shepard yelled after her, running up and stopping in front of her. She held out her arms and grabbed Liara’s, just to hold her in place.

“Let go, Shepard.”

“No. I’m not letting you walk away when someone was just shooting at us!”

“I thought they were shooting at you?” Liara sneered.

“They probably were, but that doesn't mean they won’t come after you…”

“Why would they do that, Shepard?” Liara sighed.

“I don't know, but until I know who did this I’m not letting you go without someone to protect you. Now please, get into the car with Sheerk and let him drive you home. Stay inn until tomorrow. I will have someone guard your apartment and I will bring over some food later. Please...” Shepard’s face softened and she looked deep into Liara’s eyes. 

“Please?” She pleaded again, and Liara felt the anger inside her slowly dying. Shepard was just being concerned for her.. She obviously blamed herself, not only for this but also for what happened yesterday. And now she just wanted to make sure nothing more would happen.

Liara sighed, her eyes dropping to her feet. She could still feel Shepard's hands squeezing lightly around her wrists.

“Okay, Shepard. I will go with Sheerk.” 

She gave in. When Liara looked up to meet Shepard’s eyes, she saw the human's expression turned to that of relief.

“Thank you,” Shepard said before she let go of Liara's wrists and waved at Sheerk behind them. She followed Liara over to the skycar in front of the cafe.

Liara took a seat in the back, while Sheerk sat down in the front, tapping in what Liara guessed was her address.

“I promise you I will come by later,” Shepard said, leaning against the door of the car. 

Liara smiled. “Do that. And please, try to stay safe. I want you back in one piece.”

“Sure thing, T’Soni,” Shepard’s lips turned into that smug smirk Liara hated that she enjoyed so much. It should have made her angry. This whole situation should. But when Shepard looked at her like that... 

“Why do you call me by my surname?”

“I like it. Dr. T’Soni has a nice ring to it,” Shepard winked. “Besides, you call me by my surname all the time...”

“That’s because you never told me your first name, Shepard.”

“Yeah, not many people know it. Most of them are dead, so I like to go by Shepard.” She rubbed her neck with one hand. “But I guess I wouldn’t mind you using it sometimes...”

When Shepard leaned into the back of the car, her scent hit Liara again, making her heart do a double jump in her chest. 

“It’s Jane.” Shepard quietly whispered against Liara’s crest, goosebumps forming on her blue skin.

“I will see you later then, Jane,” Liara whispered back before the car broomed to life, and Shepard leaned back outside, shutting the door, and waving her goodbye.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that is reading and giving kudos. It makes writing so much more fun! Please feel free to give criticism, both good and bad is wanted :)


	6. Nice To Meet You

Shepard stopped right before she was about to press the button that would buzz a sound in Liara’s apartment, alerting the asari that someone was outside her door. She pulled her hand back and gave herself a second to decide if she was doing the right thing. She had spent the whole day after the lunch incident thinking about what choices she had. She could continue to spend time with Liara, something she really wanted to, but that would continue to put the asari at risk of being on the other end of an attack. Again. Because of Shepard's own selfish needs. 

No, the other option was the only one she could justify making. She had to end things with Liara, and tell her she was not someone she should be hanging out with. It would certainly be for the best if they stopped seeing each other. Shepard had very few friends and none of them were civilians, and these attacks that had happened was exactly the reason. When she had chosen the life she lived here on Omega, certain sacrifices had to be made. Shepard had already cut out several of her old friends. Friends she had made from her time with the Alliance many years ago, although most of them she had lost after what happened to Kaidan. 

After Shepard killed him. Her best friend.

She rubbed her forehead while closing her eyes, pushing the memory away. 

Shepard didn’t do relationships either. It was easy really, a decision she had made years ago. Settling down with a big house and kids... That was something she had pictured her life to be at one point. Those dreams were no so far off in the past that they were just a dim memory. She didn't want that life anymore. When she became Aria's second hand she knew those parts of her life was something she had to give up. And at the time all she had wanted was to escape that dream... 

Omega had been the perfect escape.

Now Shepard had managed to grow quite fond of the innocent asari. She had even agreed to become her friend, putting Liara's life at risk every time they stepped outside together. Shepard knew it, and had known it all along. She and Liara was not a good idea as it was bound to end badly, which Shepard had now witnessed first hand. People were always going to come after her, she was never perfectly safe anywhere, and that meant that if she ever got close to someone, it would be the same as to paint a giant target on their backs.

Besides Shepard had only known Liara for three days, how hard could it be to break it off?

But then again, Shepard could not remember ever growing this attached to someone so quickly...

She brought her hand up and reached for the button, only to pause again as she remembered her actions earlier in the day. One of the other good reasons that Liara should not involve herself with someone like herself. Liara was good and pure.

And Shepard was not.

____ 

_ They had managed to track down the guy responsible for the hit at the cafe. Grizz and his team had stumbled upon information that lead them straight to a Blue Suns warehouse. The building was surrounded by guards, and Shepard knew that if she was going to find the one responsible for almost killing Liara, things would become bloody.  _

_ But that didn’t put her off. _

_ She had been especially angry today. With what happened to Liara yesterday, then the recent hit-attempt had left Shepard enraged. Her blood was boiling over in equal parts adrenaline and anger. Not a very good mix. Aria had decided to join her when she had seen the signs and recognized Shepard's behavior. Aria had been with Shepard through tough times before, helping her keep her head over water, helping her to stay alive. She had to physically hold Shepard back from barging straight into the building. Shepard’s only need right now was to shoot and kill everything that moved inside the warehouse. But that was not the way to do this, and Aria knew that. This type of situation always demanded a straight head, careful planning, and a good leader. Something Shepard did not show signs of being at the moment.  _

_ Shepard had reluctantly resigned her command over to Aria. She led them from room to room, sweeping and killing everything,, in a silent and deadly way, just like they usually conducted their business. That was until they reached the final room. Aria had held her hand up, signaling for Shepard and the three other mercs following her to stop and wait. But Shepard had done no such thing. She had barged in guns blazing. The room had been filled with mercs and Aria could only watch as Shepard bathed the room in a mix of blue, red and purple. She ordered the rest of her group to attack, as Shepard would never manage to take down everyone by herself. _

_ ‘Fucking stupid impatient human,’ Aria growled before she sprinted after Shepard and released a reave into the closest group of mercs. _

_ After what was a disorientating bloodbath, more resembling a war than a sweep, Aria stood heavy breathing in the middle of the room. Bodies were scattered all around her and both the floor and walls were painted in a mix of red and purple blood. She had to support herself on her thighs to be able to stay upright.  _

_ “Shepard!” She screamed with anger. _

_ No answer. _

_ Aria managed to straighten up while her eyes were searching around the room. All of her men had survived the battle, but Shepard was nowhere to be seen. She turned around several times looking for her. She had to be here somewhere.  _

_ “Find Shepard,” She barked, and the other mercs started to move around the room searching. Aria’s eyes stopped when she spotted a door she hadn’t seen earlier. It was slightly open, and she moved over to it, gun raised and ready and her body glimmering in the blue of her biotics. As she pushed the door open all the way she heard muffled moans coming from inside the room.  _

_ “Shepard?” she called, waiting for an answer. When she didn’t get one she stepped inside. _

_ Shepard was there pointing her gun at a man seated in an office chair. He was slumped back, limbs limp and he barely managed to hold his head up. When Aria stepped closer she could see that the guy had been shot, and both of his legs bleed profusely. _

_ “He’s not going to be a problem anymore,” Shepard said, lowering her gun and placing it in her belt.  _

_ “He’s the guy?” Aria asked, holstering her gun. _

_ “Yeah. Unfortunately for him, this is not the first time our paths cross...” Shepard smirked wickedly, her eyes boring into the man. He was moaning, obviously in great pain. Blood was running out from his half-open mouth as he croaked something inaudible. _

_ “You see, I met him yesterday. I was going to kill him then, but I gave him a second chance. I bet he regrets that now...” _

_ “I bet he does,” Aria agreed before she turned towards Shepard.  _

_ “Don’t you ever disobey my orders again.”  _

_ “I won’t.” _

_ “Are you coming?”  _

_ “Yeah...” _

_ Shepard followed Aria out of the building. She left the guy inside, knowing he would bleed to death in a couple of minutes anyway. As promised, Shepard was giving him a slow and painful death... _

___

Shepard reached for the button again, and this time she pushed it and held it for a few seconds before releasing it. She waited for the perfect voice to scramble through on the intercom.

“Yes?”

“Hi. It’s me. Is this a bad time? I brought food...” Shepard answered while raising the bag of takeout and waving it in front of the comm, even though it was voice only.

“No. Just come on up, Shepard,” Liara answered, and then she buzzed Shepard in.

Shepard stepped inside and waited for the elevator to arrive, to take her to Liara’s floor. When she reached her door she knocked two times, and Liara must have been waiting by it because it was opened in an instant. Shepard was once again reminded of the power Liara’s blue eyes held over her, as she felt unable to do anything else except lose herself in them while her mouth turned into a large grin. Even though she knew the reason she was here for was not something to be smiling about.

"I brought you food." 

"Yes I know, that’s the only reason I'm letting you in. I'm starving..." Liara teased, stepping to the side to allow Shepard entry to her apartment.

Shepard put the food down on the living room table, and this time she didn't sit straight down. Instead, she looked around the apartment curiously. She spotted something framed inside a glass container standing on a small podium against one of the walls.

"What is that?" She asked while she walked towards it.

Liara was already in her kitchen getting them plates and cutlery. She carried it to the living room and placed it on the table before joining Shepard.

"That is a Prothean artifact. The team I was a part of uncovered it while we were on an archeology trip to Therum. They even let me keep it after they were done studying it."

"Prothean? But doesn't that make this super rare?"

"Oh yes, it is. I was very lucky I got to keep it. It is estimated to be over fifty thousand years old. What it is, no one knows."

Shepard raised one eye and looked at Liara. "First I thought you were a professor, then you tell me you're a doctor. Now you tell me you are an archeologist as well. How many talents do you have, T'Soni?"

“Probably more than you would think...” Liara teased, lips curling into a smile before she continued.

“I have always had a great passion for Prothean history, therefore archeology was something I enjoyed for quite a while. To know that you could possibly unearth something that holds information about what happened to them, why they suddenly vanished..." Liara trailed off, the dreamy look in her blue eyes locked on her priceless artifact.

"I used to do a lot of digging and searching in ruins when I was younger. I have traveled to several dig sites throughout the system, but Therum was the only place I ever got lucky of finding anything related to the Protheans."

"Then why did you give it up? Why not pursue it?" Shepard asked, curious to find out more about the thing that made Liara this excited. She was endearing when she acted this way.

"Time and money I suppose. It doesn't exactly make for a good living. Besides I had to complete my doctorate. It was  _ expected  _ of me.” Liara stepped forward and touched the glass.

“But my biggest dream will always be the same..." 

"What's that?" Shepard whispered, stepping closer and putting her hand on the glass beside Liara’s. Fingers almost touching, the heat from their bodies a contrast to the cold glass. 

"That I one day will be able to travel to Ilos. It was a remarkable world, so verdant and full of life and it housed some of the grandest cities of the Prothean era. It is even believed that some of the last Protheans alive lived there," Liara mused.

"Why didn't you go there?"

"I don’t know..." Liara's tone changed from excitement to a hint of sadness. "At the time no ships were venturing through the Mu Relay, as it had not been deemed safe for travel. It took decades before the first ships ventured through it, and some of them never came back. So there was never any commercial trips to Ilos. I don't know if there even is any today. And I certainly did not have the money to hire a crew and borrow a ship to go on my own..."

_ I would take you if I could.  _

Shepard turned her head and watched as the light from the glass container danced in Liara’s eyes, making them sparkle.

"Anyway. There you have it. My life's biggest passion. At least I get to keep a piece of it. I take it with me wherever I go." Liara dropped her hand and Shepard reluctantly did the same.

They were standing very close now, and when Shepard looked into the pair of sapphire blue eyes she instantly wished she was braver. Wished she had the courage to take Liara's hand, threading their fingers together. 

_ Because friends do that right? There isn't anything weird in holding your friend's hand? _

Shepard had long forgotten why she was here in the first place and it was only when Liara's stomach suddenly made a churning sound it pulled Shepard out of her train of thought. 

“Hungry?” She asked.

“Yes. I haven’t eaten since our lunch.”

"Me neither."

They sat down together and started eating while they talked more about the Protheans, ruins, and history. Shepard found that she really enjoyed listening to Liara babble on about her passion. The asari was beaming with joy when she spoke of it, her voice had a special ring to it, and no one else would be able to keep Shepard interested in this particular theme for so long as Liara did.

"I am sorry, I must be boring you with this... I tend to get over-excited when someone shows any sign of interest in this topic. Most people don’t. Falere says it’s-" Liara suddenly stopped herself and looked down into her food, frowning while her lips twitched.

"Anyway…” she said after a couple of seconds, "please tell me to stop talking. Or else I won’t." She continued while looking at Shepard again.

"Is Falere your girlfriend?" Shepard found the courage to ask. Needing to know.

Liara blinked a couple of times while she seemed to process the question.

"Yes," She said quietly.

"How long have you been together?" 

"Almost two years."

"Ah. So it’s really serious then..." Shepard assumed, looking down into her food and using her fork to push it around a couple of times before putting more of it into her mouth. She wondered why she had even bothered to start a conversation about this specific topic. It didn't matter now anyway. But at the same time, she  _ was  _ happy knowing that Liara had someone to take care of her. She deserved that.

"I... I suppose it is. But remember that two years is not a very long time for an asari, Shepard. We live for over a thousand years, so usually our ‘dating’ as you would call it could probably last several years. Decades even." 

_ Why would she say that? Maybe it isn't so serious after all...  _

_ Stop it. It doesn't matter. _

Shepard wanted to change the subject and she cursed herself for even bringing it up. There was no doubt her attraction for Liara had started to grow, she couldn’t deny it anymore. And she really didn't want to know about her love life. She didn't want to picture anyone else touching her, holding her, kissing her...

“Shiala was over earlier,” Liara said, interrupting her spiraling thoughts.

“So, how was she? Was a night with the Queen of Omega all she had envisioned it to be?” Shepard chuckled, putting on a false bravado.

Liara shook her head in amusement. “I think she enjoyed it very much, yes. She used every free moment to talk about it. Even if I told her I didn't need any of the details.”

“Your friend doesn't exactly seem like a person holding anything back.”

“No, she is very enthusiastic.” Liara looked at Shepard and smiled. “People even find it fascinating that we are such good friends.”

“Really? How so?” Shepard asked, before she held up her hand and stopped Liara from answering, “Nevermind, I totally get why they find that weird.”

Liara started to laugh, and Shepard found the sounds hitting her very core. Then she let out a heavy breath, realizing it was time to bring up the reason she was here.

"Actually there was another reason for me to come here tonight, other than the food." Shepard put her fork down and swallowed down the rest of the food with her water.

Liara did the same and then returned her look towards Shepard.

"What is it?" She asked.

"I have been given this a lot of thought Liara..." Shepard said, making sure to lock onto the wide blue eyes in front of her. 

"I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to continue to see each other. It wouldn't be safe for you too-"

"Nonsense, Shepard. I don’t feel unsafe at all..." Liara said with a stern voice, cutting her off.

"How can you say that, Liara? With what happened yesterday and the shooting today..." Shepard shook her head.

"I’m not someone you should spend your time with. People are constantly trying to kill me for various reasons, and I will not be the reason you die. I can’t be that selfish."

"You don’t want to see me anymore?" Liara whispered.

"It’s not that I don't want to... It's not safe and I want you to be safe. Besides I don’t think your girlfriend would approve of you having a friend that constantly puts you in that kind of danger..."

"That has nothing to do with it," Liara hissed. "I am not a child, Shepard. I can decide for myself who I want to spend time with."

“Then be reasonable, Liara. You’re a smart woman,” Shepard said before she stood up from the couch and walked towards the window. She could feel the asaris eyes in the back of her neck, burning into her.

_ Why does this have to be so fucking hard... _

“Then let me decide for myself, Shepard. Let me make decisions about my own life.”

Shepard turned around and fixed her eyes on Liara. “Then make the right decision.”

“I will,” Liara sighed, twiddling her fingers in her lap while lowering her eyes.

“Good.” Shepard sounded so much colder than she had meant to. 

_ It’s better this way... _

Shepard stood still for several moments to see if Liara would look at her again. When she didn’t she sighed and resigned. “I should go...” 

“You probably should.” 

Shepard had to physically force herself to move towards the door, and when she passed Liara on the couch her whole body screamed for her to say something, to touch her, to do anything to wipe away the sadness that now filled her face.

But that would not do any one of them any good.

She stopped before the door. Paused to take a deep breath and to collect herself. 

“I’m really sorry, Liara. About everything. That I had to drag you into this... But this is who I am, and I cannot change that. I knew what I was giving up when I signed on for this," Shepard spoke into the door.

“It was nice to meet you, Liara. I don’t think I will ever forget you...”

And that was the last words that sounded in the apartment before Shepard opened the door and closed it sound behind her as she left.

  
  



	7. Bored

Liara was bored. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so incredibly and utterly bored. Usually, she had ways to deal with it when this feeling crept up on her. This time nothing seemed to help.

She tossed around in her bed, unable to find any sleep while she remembered the past weeks. They had consisted of work and spending time alone in her apartment afterward. Spending time alone was usually something Liara enjoyed, and that was one of the reasons she hadn’t asked Falere if they should move in together. Yet. 

Now she wasn't sure how she was going to survive this loneliness for one more second.

It had been three weeks since Shiala left for Thessia. In one way Liara was glad she had gone home, given her very annoying Aria-infatuation. Shiala could not seem to stop chatting on and on about Aria. How sexy she was, how good a kisser she had been, the way she had touched Shiala and made her undone in ways she had never experienced before. Liara could not even keep count of all the times she had heard the sentence ‘ _ Goddess she made me come six times, Liara! And one of the times she didn't even touch me!  _ ’

Liara had tried to tell her friend  _ that _ was perhaps too much information, but Shiala was floating on air it seemed, wanting to share everything about her night with the Queen. She was even worse than Aethyta. And that said a lot in itself.

\----------

_ Shiala had slumped back into the couch as soon as Liara let her into the apartment. Shepard's pillow and blanket were still laying there, but Shiala didn't seem to notice it, and Liara was glad she didn’t. She was not ready to talk about what had almost happened yesterday. Not yet. _

_ "You look... spent?" Liara said, sitting down beside her friend. _

_ Shiala closed her eyes and a large grin spread across her face. _

_ "I just broke Omega’s only rule!" she burst out. “And several times too...” _

_ Liara raised her eyebrows, and when Shiala opened her eyes again and looked at her friend's expression, she couldn’t stop the laughter from sounding around the apartment. _

_ "Goddess, Liara. Athame knows I've had my share of great sexual experiences. But this..." Shiala stood up, unable to sit still. "This was un-fucking-believable. I need a drink! Where do you keep the good stuff?"  _

_ As Shiala started to pace around the living room looking, Liara got up and walked over to the kitchen. When she returned with a bottle, Shiala's face beamed. _

_ "Ryncol! Perfect!" _

_ Liara got them two small glasses and poured one for them each. It was way too early to start drinking, especially since she was going to work later, but Liara figured she would need something to survive the onslaught of sexual descriptions that would soon escape Shiala’s mouth. _

_ The ryncol burned down her throat, and she poured a second one before screwing the cap back on it.  _

_ Two shots would have to suffice. _

_ \----------- _

Still, Liara missed her friend. And she missed her girlfriend. She missed having someone to talk to in the evenings, even though she had been calling both Falere and Shiala almost every day, it wasn't the same as having someone in the room with her. She had tried to keep herself occupied with her work. And it had been effective to some extent. But it was only so many articles and so many theories she could write on the topic, without repeating herself. And Liara was too proud of her work to put her name on something that was not considered A+.

Her love for reading had kept her busy for many hours, and now she had gone through all the books she had taken with her from Thessia, twice. She had searched the extranet for library locations and she planned to go next time she had some extra time in her lunch break. Liara loved the feeling of paper between her fingers, and she absolutely hated to read from a datapad, if there was an available physical-copy of the material. She was old fashioned that way, and she had always been teased about it, but she couldn't even bring herself to care. She had already ordered several new books on the extranet since she hadn't had time to visit that library, but they had yet to arrive. 

When reading wasn't longer an option due to unavailable material, she had turned to games on her omni-tool. Kepesh-Yakshi had been fun for a while, but when Liara had beaten the AI over ten times on the ‘extreme’ difficulty, that became boring as well. It had however made her reminiscence about her childhood. Liara and her mother, Benezia, had spent hours and hours playing the game, and the holographic board they always used was one of the few things Liara had made sure to take with her when she had moved from Armali to Serrice. She remembered late nights with her mother, drinking tea and playing, their laughter echoing in her large childhood bedroom. The memories of those times were one of her favorites. 

Liara pulled the duvet up to her neck and shifted over to lay on her side. She hadn't been thinking about her mother in quite some time now. Usually, it made her sad, because of the way her mother had been taken away from her all too soon. But Liara was also very thankful she had memories like this. Although Benezia had been strict with Liara during her upbringing, Liara had always felt incredibly loved by her mother. 

Benezia had always been a woman who really lived. She enjoyed life and everything it had to offer, and one of her biggest dreams had always been for her daughter to excel in everything she set her sights on. Money had never been a problem for Liara when she was young, so it had been important to Benezia that Liara finished school and got a proper education. When Liara had finished her doctorate, Benezia had never been prouder. She had been that parent that stood straight and proud, clapping and cheering in the front row, making her daughter blush from embarrassment.

Liara also knew she had frustrated her mother to a level no other living being had ever managed to. The way Liara always ran off to find a place to dig and search for ancient history, coming home with dirty clothes full of holes and cuts. The way Liara had refused to take any money from her rightful inheritance when Benezia had tried to help her out before she moved away from home. Liara was proud and she was determined to stand on her own two feet. She was stubborn as a krogan, as Aethyta had always teased her with. 

_ "Although a krogans got nothing on you, babe." _

Liara smiled at the memory, remembering how her father had used to tease her mother to no end about her stubbornness and how much her 'Little Wing' was becoming just like herself. Remembering how her parents always took the time to kiss each other goodbye, always telling each other how much they loved one another. Subtle touches, looks shared. Liara had always noticed. 

Always hoped she would find someone just as special one day. 

She closed her eyes again, trying to find sleep for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. But after a few minutes, she gave up. She didn't feel tired or sleepy. There was only one feeling coursing through her body.

Liara was bored.

And bored was not a feeling she coped with well.

She kicked the duvet off her body while letting out a huge sigh. She picked up her omni-tool and looked at the time. 01.00. Liara slammed her arms down her sides, sighing again while her arms bounced on the bed. Even sleep was so boring her mind didn't want her to suffer through it.

She stood up, stretched and then padded naked out into her kitchen via her living room. The lights from around Omega shone through her big windows and cast a dim orange glow to the otherwise dark apartment. She filled a glass with water and emptied it in one go before walking back out to her living room, picking up a blanket and covering herself in it before sitting down on her couch. She crossed her legs, picked up the remote and started to browse the different entertainment channels this apartments monitor was providing. 

She searched through the different categories and found it hard to pick something interesting... 

Galactic News? No. Galactic History? No. 

Elcor? No. Hanar? Absolutely not. 

Asari?

Human...

_ Let’s see,  _ Liara thought and chose the category. Then the monitor gave her a whole new list of things to choose from and she quickly went through them all until she settled on movies. Yes, a good movie could help her survive this sleepless and very boring night.

After looking through many  _ many  _ titles, Liara found it very hard to choose what to watch. There was nothing here that seemed particularly interesting, and she was just about to give up and turn the damn monitor off when something caught her eye. 

‘Mature movies’. 

_ What could this be? _

Her curiosity took hold of her, she chose the category and then her eyes widened and a loud gasp escaped her lips. The images showcasing the movies she could choose between was... Well, rather explicit. Again there were several categories to choose from, and Liara started to think this whole thing was ridiculous. How was one supposed to find anything to watch if you had to go through this much hassle to find something suitable. Still, she continued to browse her choices... 

There was human/human, human/salarians, human/hanar...

_ Oh goddess, no. Does anyone actually watch that!? _

The next category made her stop. Her puls starting to increase slightly. She inhaled sharply before she chose it.

Human/asari.

Several movies popped up on her screen, but it was one of them that stood out. Liara recognized the title, although she had never watched it before. Or read the book.

Vaenia.

Liara wondered why this particular movie was in the human/asari category? From what little she remembered being told about this movie, it was after all Shiala's favorite, it was about an asari couple. Curious as she was she started the movie anyway, but not before quickly skimming through the reviews. It did look at least somewhat promising...

Whatever Liara had expected, this was not it. The movie was not exactly subtle. The sex scenes were very explicit and Liara found it hard to sit still after she had endured her fourth scene. She was constantly shifting her legs before she leaned over on her side, propping her head up with one arm against the couch cushions. 

The plot was ok, but nothing more than that, and Liara was about to turn the movie off when suddenly a human stepped into the protagonist's house. 

A red-headed woman.

Liara put the remote down slowly and settled back into the couch again. This time her eyes were wide as saucers.

_ This is an interesting turn. I wonder what will happen now... _

She didn't have to wonder for very long.

After just a couple of minutes, Liara found herself watching a very racy scene involving one of the asari protagonists and the female human. Her eyes were glued to the screen and she hadn't even noticed how her heart had slowly gone from a normal dull beat to a steady heavy pounding inside her chest. While the scene went on, Liara found herself squirming in her seat. The damn blanket she had wrapped around herself seemed to get her extremely hot, and she spread it open, letting it fall to her sides while she sunk back further into the cushions. A slow but steady fluttering had started in the pit of her stomach, but it had now spread further down and attached itself between her legs. She clamped her thighs together in an attempt to dull the feeling. 

It did not help.

The asari in the movie was bent over her kitchen table, face down and ass in the air while the human was standing behind her, firmly planted between her legs. Liara had to swallow, before she put one finger between her teeth, biting it slightly as she watched the human use her hand to spread open the asari’s azure, making sure the viewers got a good look, before gently starting to stroke her with her fingers. 

Liara’s tongue felt thick in her now very dry mouth. Without even thinking about it, her other hand had traveled down her stomach and was now resting on her naked thigh, nails slightly digging into her own skin. Her legs had even spread just the tiniest fraction apart. As the human in the vid started to touch the asari firmer and faster, Liara felt her hand move like it had taken on a life on its own, and she was startled when her fingers suddenly found wetness. She was soaked. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this overwhelming urge, this  _ need,  _ couldn't remember ever being this aroused. Liara stopped her hand from moving while she thought about it. It had been too long since she had last  _ indulged,  _ and now she felt like there was nothing else in the world she wanted to do. She needed this.

_ What's the harm anyway? _

Liara spread her legs wider, letting them fall to their sides and she let out a low guttural groan as her fingers slid through her folds again. She brought them up and started circling around and over her clit with slow and steady strokes while she continued watching the movie unfolding in front of her.

The human had now removed her shirt, and Liara did really appreciate the way she looked. She took in the human’s muscular back, watched how her muscles flexed when she moved, and how strong she looked. The human was leaning over the asari slightly biting her neck, before kissing upwards along her crest, while the asari moaned and screamed to be fucked. The human suddenly lifted the asari up, her biceps flexing, and turning her around on the table. She then used two fingers to enter her hard and swift, while the asari grabbed the human's head, threading her fingers through her hair and pulling her in for a hot and steamy kiss. As the human sped up her thrusts, Liara started to move her fingers faster and harder, and it did not take long before she found herself moaning just as loudly as the asari in the movie. She was close, it hadn't really taken her any effort to get here. But she needed more, and she brought her other hand down, sliding it past her moving fingers and down to her entrance. She was so wet there was nothing she needed to do to prepare, so she entered herself with one finger, quickly adding another before she clamped her eyes shut. She was pulsing and fluttering around herself, and she soon found the perfect steady rhythm. Shehe kept her eyes closed, listening to the sounds from the movie while she started to picture herself in that setting. She pictured herself laying on that table, her fingers threading and pulling that red hair, curious to how it would feel. Would it be coarse, soft? Wet or dry? Would it feel good?

Embarrassment burst through her, but she found she didn't care. Not now. Not when she was this close.

Liara’s mind continued to conjure up images of herself and that human, while her rhythm continued in the same pace, but now she was curling her fingers inside, hitting that wonderful spot that would make her come undone in mere seconds. She pictured herself with the human between her legs, thrusting into her with hard steady thrusts, while Liara could feel her muscles under her palm, running her hands over those strong arms and...

She opened her eyes when she hit her peak. Her whole body was shuddering as she arched off the couch, continuing her movements while her orgasm tore through her. After what felt like several minutes of bliss she slowly lowered herself back down onto the couch. She quickly dried off one hand on the blanket and turned the movie off, before she slumped back into the cushions, exhausted and tired. 

_ Goddess. That was amazing. _

She couldn't remember the last time an orgasm had felt this good. In fact, she was fairly certain that she never had experienced one feeling this great. Liara looked down her own body and she was happy she was still sitting on her blanket, or the couch would have been ruined.

When her breathing subsided and her pulse returned to normal, she got up, threw the blanket to be washed and padded over to the shower. She took a good long shower before getting back into bed. She was spent and her whole body seemed to crave sleep now, even her mind. As she pulled the duvet up to cover her naked body, a thought entered her mind.

Why had she picked that particular movie? Why had she even been looking in the human category? She had never felt any interest in humans when it came to pornography. In fact, she wasn't very interested in pornography at all, had never been. Liara had always found it to be quite off-putting instead of making her aroused. 

Maybe it was because she had always been looking at the ‘wrong’ porn. Maybe humans was what got her going? Maybe it was the way the woman in the video had looked? Maybe it was her muscled back, her toned stomach, or maybe even her red hair?

Maybe it was because she reminded her so much of-

_ STOP! _

Liara shut her train of thought down immediately. She was not going there. Not now. Not ever. Sleep, she needed sleep. She had slept so poorly these last days, that must be the reason. She was sleep-deprived. And it was making her mind come up with all kinds of weird theories. 

Theories that did not have any root in reality.

Yes, sleep. That was what she needed. She shut her eyes and willed herself to calm down again. She focused her thoughts towards her home, towards Thessia and Serrice and towards her girlfriend. She reminded herself that she had to call Falere the next day. Tell her how much she missed her. How much she wanted her here.

After just a couple of minutes, Liara had finally fallen asleep.

* * *

When she woke the next day she felt better than she had in days. Then she suddenly remembered that it was Friday and that Professor Solus had left for a visit to Tuchanka. Liara did not have clearance to join him, and that meant she had no work to get done this weekend. She buried her face into her pillow and sighed. She knew what this meant. She was probably going to be bored out of her mind again. With nothing to do she would probably be sitting on her couch and watch Vaenia over and over...

No, Liara T’Soni was not going to sink that low.

She willed herself to get up and walked to the bathroom to make herself presentable. She brushed her teeth and splashed some water on her face. She decided she was going out today. She had been meaning to see more of Omega in daylight when she got the spare time. She made a plan to find that library, then she was going to go shopping for some new clothes. When she had gone through her closet the other day, she had found out that she really didn't have anything  _ nice  _ to wear. She had not packed any of her dresses, and her wardrobe consisted of plain boring shirts and ankle-length skirts. 

The stereotype of an old boring professor.

If Liara was going out this weekend she wanted to at least try to look nice. Pretty even. And she had been planning to go out for a while now. She was not going to stay inside another weekend. She needed to do something else, and right now wine and music sounded very alluring.

But where would she go?

She looked at herself in the mirror. Not even going to try to tell herself that she hadn't already made up her mind. She knew exactly where she was going. What club she was going to visit. And there was no one that could stop her. Liara was a grown woman, and she could decide for herself how and where she wanted to spend her evenings. And if Shepard happened to be there, well Liara would just not care. She was going to enjoy her night out, maybe she would even meet someone interesting. Someone she could talk to, someone that didn't have a habit of getting shot at...

She strode out of the bathroom and into her bedroom to get dressed before going out to run her errands. She had already researched what shops she was going to visit and where she was having lunch. She found herself calmer when she had a plan going. Even in broad daylight, Omega was quite intimidating, and Liara was not going to make the same mistake twice. She pre-ordered a skycar to bring her around. And not the automated ones, no, she hired one with a driver. She found it quite cheaper than she thought it would be.

When she had finished getting dressed, she grabbed a quick breakfast before pulling up her omni-tool, summoning the pre-ordered skycar. She grabbed a coat and stepped outside, making sure her door was locked before entering the elevator. 

When she stepped outside the building, the sun was hitting her face, and days like this made Omega seem almost harmless. She opened her omni-tool again to tap out a message to Falere while she waited for the car to pick her up. She missed her, and Falere had been talking about trying to get time off work to come to visit her. They both needed that, Liara thought, and now she didn't want to wait any longer. 

Her skycar arrived just on time, and Liara got into the back seat. She told the driver where she was heading first, and then she relaxed back into the seat while the car flew up into the air. She was in such a better mood today than she had been in a long time. This was going to be a good weekend. 

Liara was sure of it.


	8. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!  
I was so lucky to have the extremly talented amys2885 draw a scene from this chapter for me! It's placed close to the end, and it is just perfect ♡ I am in awe of what she came up with, and I cannot thank her enough! Everyone should check out her [tumblr](https://amys2885.tumblr.com/), she makes amazing doodles and drawings for several fandoms. Go check it out now! :)

"This is hardly a productive way to spend your time," Shepard drawled while lifting the asari up and placing her on the table in front of her. The asari was about to answer but Shepard caught her lips in a kiss while pressing her self closer between blue thighs.

"Are you suddenly speechless, Nassana?" Shepard teased after she had released her lips and went on to kiss down her neck. The asari moaned and buried her hands in her hair, pulling her closer.

"If you want me to speak you have to stop kissing me like that..." Nassana breathed.

"Mmm. Not yet," Shepard continued down her neck, over her collarbone, making a trail with her tongue. Nassana shivered from her touch and Shepard stopped and used both her hands to lift the asari’s top over her head, exposing her perky breasts. 

"No underwear? Don't tell me you had this planned all along?" 

"Shut up and touch me," Nassana keened. She pushing herself closer to Shepard, offering herself up. She moved her hands down from Shepard's head and slid them over her toned arms, feeling the muscles there flexing under her palms. 

Shepard kissed her way down from Nassana’s collarbone to her right breast, and without further delay she took the already hardened purple nipple into her mouth, sucking it, before taking it between her teeth. Shepard bit down lightly, making Nassana whimper and push herself into Shepard’s face. She used one free hand and led it down Nassana’s body, her fingers teasing slowly down past her stomach. When Shepard’s hand slid past the hemline of her panties, Nassana moaned loudly and bucked forward towards Shepard hand, desperate for her touch.

"Tell me what you want," Shepard demanded, her fingers just skimming up and down through her azure. "Tell me and I might give it to you."

Nassana whimpered again and cupped Shepard’s face, bringing her to stare straight into her eyes. They were almost fully blacked over and Shepard had to suppress a moan. She found that particular part about the asari very arousing.

"Fuck me," Nassana moaned.

"Oh, I will... Just remember, no melding. I don't do that." 

Nassana closed her eyes and threw her head back when Shepard entered her with two fingers. Shepard was skilled, very skilled Nassana thought, and for a moment she wondered just how many asari Shepard had been with to be able to hit her spots so perfectly straight away.

Her whole body was trembling while high pitched moans were coming out of her with shorter and shorter intervals, telling Shepard she was close. How a human managed to undo her so fast, even without a mind to link to, Nassana didn't understand. But when Shepard thrust inside her and curled her fingers like that...

She threw herself forward, burying her face into Shepard's neck, her screams muffled when she tipped over the edge. Shepard continued thrusting but slowing down her pace, drawing out the orgasm as best as she could. When Nassana pulled back, Shepard was looking rather pleased with herself. A wide grin covering her face.

"Oh, dear goddess!" Nassana breathed. Coming slowly down from her peak. "That was... something else."

Shepard kissed her again, while slowly withdrawing her fingers.

"So, how about I come over to your apartment later," Nassana said, before jumping down from the table, pulling down her skirt and grabbing her shirt. “I think I owe you an orgasm.”

“Only one?”

Nassana stepped close to Shepard and nibbled her earlobe. “That depends on how you behave," she breathed into the human ear.

“How  _ I  _ behave?”

Nassana looked at her with hooded eyes. “Is it true you have a pleasure room, Shepard?”

"Now, who told you that? Nyxeris?"

Nassana waved her hand in dismissal, "Nyxeris never tells us anything. I don't think I have ever met someone who is as good as her to keep secrets."

"Good, because all the things she knows... If it got out..." Shepard smirked.

Nassana snorted, "I've heard it from several women actually. All of them asari. Tell me, Shepard, do you have a certain type?" 

When Shepard’s grin only grew wider, Nassana pushed her playfully away. "You're impossible, Shepard," she chuckled.

“Mmm. But you like that, don’t you?” Shepard pulled Nassana towards her again and placed a quick peck on her lips. 

“I’ll be right back,” Shepard said, before stepping out and over to the restroom that was just beside the private rooms. She needed to clean herself up. When she got back, Nassana was waiting for her.

"Come on, let's get you back to work," she threw her arm around the asari’s waist and led her out of the private room and back out to the club.

Shepard stopped when they reached the bar, "You want a drink before you return to work?"

"No, not tonight. I want to have a clear head when I come over later," Nassana purred and leaned in, taking Shepard’s lips in a very wanting kiss. Before she pulled away she sucked Shepard’s bottom lip in between her teeth and bit down hard. Her lips curling into a grin as she released Shepard with a pop.

Shepard groaned, both her hands slid down the asari’s side and back over to her rear, squeezing until Nassana squirmed in her embrace. "I don’t want to disappoint you though. The rumors you’ve heard are not completely true. It’s Aria’s room..." Shepard admitted.

Nassana’s smile faltered for a second.

“But if I ask her nicely, I might be allowed to borrow it...”

Casually Shepard glimpsed over Nassana’s shoulder and met the same blue eyes that had been haunting her dreams for weeks now. There, just a couple of meters away, Liara was sitting at a table, legs crossed and a glass of wine in her hand. Liara hurried to look away, pretending she hadn’t been looking, and Shepard felt her heart sank to her stomach. Had she been looking at them the whole time? Shepard found the thought disturbingly uncomfortable.

_ What the fuck is she even doing here? _

Shepard turned her focus back at Nassana and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. "I’ll see you later," she said before stepping past her with one destination in mind.

Liara’s table. 

Liara didn't turn around to greet her as she came closer, so Shepard stopped in front of her table, clearing her throat to get her attention before speaking.

“Liara? What are you doing here?”

Liara turned to look at her. “Hello, Shepard. I am here to drink some wine and listen to music. Isn't that why people go to a club?”

“Yeah, it is...” Shepard answered, slightly taken aback at the snappy comment.

"Is there anything you want?" Liara asked coldly, and Shepard found her tone uncomfortable. The blue narrow eyes piercing through her.

She didn’t have an answer for her straight away. She just continued to look at Liara, unsure why she had even gone over to her when she was the one that had decided they should stop seeing each other. Despite that decision, Shepard found it hard to walk away.

"I’m not going to ignore you," Shepard looked down at the other chair across the table. "Do you mind if I sit?"

Liara sighed. "No, of course not." 

Shepard sat down and signaled for a drink, which arrived only seconds later.

"I am sorry I sounded so cold, Shepard. I was just unsure how you would react to me coming here. I know this is your place and you told me you didn't want to see me-"

Shepard sighed, "I don't want anything to happen to you. That's a big difference."

Liara took a moment before she continued, lifting her glass to her mouth and tasting the wine. "You told me to make the right decision. And I have." 

"Yeah?”

"I want to show you something," Liara said, her lips curling into a smirk. "Is there a combat simulator here on Omega?"

"A what now?" Shepard raised an eyebrow, looking dumbfounded at Liara. "You want to fight me?"

Liara chuckled. "No, that was not exactly what I had in mind... Although that does sound rather interesting. But I want to show you that I am perfectly capable of defending myself with my biotics."

"I’m sure you are, but that's beside the point-"

"Is there or is there not a combat simulator here?" Liara asked again, the glint in her eyes challenging Shepard.

"There is... You want to go now?"

"I hardly think I am wearing proper combat attire..." Liara gestured down her body and that suddenly made Shepard very aware of what Liara was wearing.

How had she missed it before?

A tight fitted blue dress that almost blended with her skin color left the impression of naked skin. The dress had a high neck and a white stripe going from her neck and all the way down. It looked like a traditional asari gown, which did not show any cleavage or skin, but it did not hide the impression that Liara’s body must be amazing under the thin layer of clothing. Shepard had to swallow to stop herself from drooling as she continued to gawk at Liara's very nice, eh  _ features. _

_ You perv! _

She shook her head and blinked and her eyes shot up at Liara's when her brain caught up with what she was doing. She was staring like a lunatic, and she wasn’t very subtle about it either. But drooling? That would have been mortifying. The thought made Shepard blush, something she rarely did. She wiped her mouth quickly, just to be sure.

The subtle smile that emerged on Liara’s lips told Shepard that the asari had caught her.

_ Nicely played, Shepard. Way to keep it subtle. _

Shepard cleared her throat, "no."

"No?"

"No, I don't think what you are wearing qualifies as combat attire." Shepard chugged down her scotch, hoping the burning in her throat would take away some of her embarrassment. "You look very nice though."

Shepard wanted to tell her she looked all kinds of sexy. But she settled with nice. It was probably more appropriate.

Liara’s smile continued to grow. "Thank you."

“So, you want to flash your biotics for me, huh?”

“I want to show you that I’m not completely helpless and that I am perfectly capable of defending myself. Besides...” Liara looked down into her lap, fiddling with her fingers. The smile on her face vanishing. “I miss having someone to talk to. I don't know anyone here and...”

“You miss someone... or you miss me?” Shepard leaned forward resting her arms on the table.

“You,” Liara confessed, raising her head slowly and locking onto Shepard’s eyes.

Shepard felt her heart starting to pound harder inside her chest. “I’ve missed you too. A lot.” 

She reached out for one of Liara’s hands, and when Liara made no move to stop her, she took one blue hand in hers and rubbed her thumb lightly inside her palm. She felt fireworks thundering through her, the touch enough to set her insides on fire.

“Jane... I-”

“Well well, I thought you two decided to break it off,” Aria said while she strode up to the table in her usual cocky way, ruining the moment. Her timing as impeccable as always. 

Liara pulled her hand quickly away and back into the safety of her own lap. 

“We didn’t break off anything,” Shepard started. Turning to look at Aria, who leaned her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. A smug look on her face. 

“That didn't look like anything...”

“Mind your own business, Aria!” Shepard growled. She got up from her chair and stepped into Aria’s face. 

Aria started to laugh and threw her hands up in surrender. “I’m just messing with you, Shepard. Relax."

Aria did not back off, instead, she turned to Liara before she continued, "It's a good thing you came back. Maybe her mood will change for the better. She’s been rather grumpy these past weeks."

Shepard took a deep breath, deciding not to take the bait. She backed off Aria and sat back down, letting her anger subside. She just had to stop looking at that incredible idiotic looking smirk on Aria’s face. She was so annoying when she acted like this.

"Shepard thinks she is putting my life in danger when we spend time together." Liara raised her eyebrows and looked at Shepard who was just shaking her head.

_ Great, get Aria on your side. Just what I need tonight. _

"Ah, Shepard," Aria shook her head, mocking her. "Are you really this fucking stupid?"

"Watch it, Aria. You might be the Queen, but I’m not afraid of you," Shepard challenged, sending Aria a look of daggers.

"Look at her, Shepard." Aria threw her arm out towards Liara. "You can tell she’s asari, right?"

Shepard didn't even bother to answer. 

"And by the looks of it, you came from a rather prominent family. A family with resources," Aria said, studying Liara.

“Yes, that is correct,” Liara answered.

“Aria, please get to the point,” Shepard groaned, signaling for a waitress. She needed more to drink if Aria was going to keep pestering her.

“I bet young Liara here knows a thing or two about biotics, Shepard. And I bet she was trained by commandos. Very competent commandos, probably the best Thessia had to offer. The rich kids always are...” Aria raised her hand, signaling that she wasn’t finished. “Therefore I’m certain she is very capable of defending herself from any attack. And her biotics would totally outdo yours. You’ve got nothing on her. She’s a natural.”

Shepard looked at Liara, who looked very pleased with Aria’s speech. “Is this true?”

“Yes, Shepard. I went through decades of strict training when I was younger.” She lifted one hand up and let the blue energy dance between her fingers. Clearly showing off, and by the expression on her face, she enjoyed teasing Shepard.

Shepard snorted, her lips curling upwards while she shook her head. “Ok, I get it. I’m an idiot.” She turned back towards Aria, “Happy now?”

“Very.” 

Shepard sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She glanced at Liara, who was looking very smug. Obviously pleased to have Aria backing her. Shepard decided to give up.

“Fine... Let’s go to the combat simulator tomorrow. But let me tell you, I’m not easily impressed.”

Shepard looked at Liara challenging, the asari only smiled back at her.

“This I want to watch,” Aria drawled, crossing her arms over her chest again. “Would you mind if I join you?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

They answered in unison.

“Thank you, Shepard is no fun. I can’t wait to see if your expensive training has paid off. And I can’t wait to see Shepard’s jaw drop to the floor, while I say, ‘I told you so’.”

Liara tried to stifle her laugh, but it was unsuccessful and Shepard could only watch her, watch the way her lips curled up while her freckles were darkening. Her eyes beaming. There was no way Shepard could back out now. Seeing Liara like this... She didn’t care if she was breaking her own rule. Maybe she had been stupid, stupid to think that she would be able to stay away. Because clearly she was failing big time on that matter.

She had managed four weeks. Barley. Had been thinking about those blue eyes almost every night.

And Liara did say she had been missing her as well. Not someone, but her. Specifically. 

Shepard was not going to continue lying to herself. She had been thinking about the maiden more often than not. Having Liara in her life was something she absolutely wanted. Maybe even needed. She was going to make this work. She would keep Liara safe if anyone would be so stupid as to try something again. And If Aria’s theories about her biotic abilities were anything to go by, it didn't seem like the asari was so helpless after all. 

Shepard grabbed her scotch, which had just arrived, downed it and let the burning feeling soothe her fears. Maybe she had been irrational. It would be impossible to protect everyone from everything. Shepard knew that from experience. Maybe Liara was safer if Shepard allowed herself to be there for her. It was obviously something Liara wanted. She looked so... Happy. 

And she was absolutely adorable when she laughed like that.

“Shepard?” Her soft voice drew Shepard out of her own head.

“Yeah?”

“Will you pick me up tomorrow?” Liara wondered.

“Of course. I’ll pick you up at noon. And after...”

“After?”

“After, I’ll make you dinner. That sounds good?” Shepard asked.

Liara’s freckles turned even darker, her purple lips curled up into a smile. Shepard made no effort to hide her own grin.

“That sounds lovely, Shepard.”

“Great, it’s a date then."

When Liara blushed again, Shepard felt her heart starting to pound faster in her chest. The butterflies were clearly there, fluttering around in her stomach. So cliche. Just for a second she glimpsed down to Liara’s lips and was taken back several weeks, remembering how those purple lips had felt against her own. Cooler, but so soft, and the taste... Shepard wanted that taste again, could not remember ever wanting anything as much as she wanted  _ that  _ taste. It would be so easy, really. Just to lean forward and press their lips together again. Just for a second.

But she knew she couldn't do that.

“I can’t wait,” Liara answered after a while, and it took Shepard a few seconds before she understood what she was referring to. 

Shepard turned towards Aria, who was still leaning up against the table, the smug look on her face telling Shepard she was probably going to come up with some remark or teasing like she always did. She decided to stop her before she could.

“Are you done here?” Shepard asked, hoping Aria would leave them alone.

Aria watched her for several seconds like she debated what to say. Finally, she gave in, and Shepard let out a sigh of relief. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. Guess I will see you tomorrow then,” she nodded towards Liara before she moved in the direction of her throne-room at the top of the stairs. 

Liara opened her omni-tool and Shepard was afraid she was going to call it a night. She didn’t want to end it just yet. Not when she finally had Liara back with her. “You want to go somewhere else? There is a couple of places I know about, where no one will bother us...”

When Liara’s eyes widened, looking shockingly back at her, Shepard realized what her proposal had sounded like.

“No! What I mean is I know some places that are quieter than this, more relaxed atmosphere and where people know me,” she corrected herself. “I can even guarantee you that no one there will try to kill me.” 

“Very funny,” Liara smiled again.

“Wanna go now?”

Liara closed her omni-tool again before looking at Shepard, “I would love to.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later they stepped out of the skycar outside the low key club. This was a quieter place, with different music and a different clientele from you would normally find at Afterlife. Shepard figured it would be more to Liara's taste. When they reached the door guarded by two turians, one of them reach out with his talon, greeting Shepard. 

They were just about to enter when Shepard glanced over at the large poster on the wall beside the entrance. Her blood froze.

‘Dance night,’ it read.

“What?” she exclaimed. ”Dance night?” She turned towards Liara, who started to chuckle when she saw the expression on Shepard’s face. 

“I guess you don't like to dance, Shepard?”

“Ehh... Not exactly my favorite past-time, no.” Shepard rubbed the back of her neck like that would release some of her sudden tension. It didn’t. 

_ This place never has dance nights! _

“Want to go somewhere else?” She tried asking, but all hope of succeeding vanished when Liara grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the entrance.

“This will be fun,” Liara said, dragging Shepard reluctantly into the club.

The club was intimate and dim-lit, with several small booths along the walls on both sides. A small bar was placed at the end of the room, the floor in front of it had been cleared of the usual tables and couches and was now occupied by several people dancing, laughing and enjoying themselves. There was even a band playing tonight, and Shepard suddenly felt her nervousness spike. Dancing was not something she was good at. She was rather poor at it. 

_ Don’t kid yourself, you suck at dancing! _

And she hated it. But the look in Liara’s eyes gave her the strength to at least give it a try. Maybe Liara loved to dance, maybe even her own terrible moves would make Liara laugh again. It would be worth it.

They chose an available booth and ordered some drinks, sitting across from each other. 

“Are you nervous?” Liara asked after a while, studying the human and bringing the wine to her lips, tasting it. 

“No.”

Liara chuckled, “You are not a very good liar."

“It's just that I really,  _ really,  _ suck at dancing. It usually involves a lot of laughter though. By the people watching from the sideline...”

“I am sure you will do just fine. No one will be looking at us. We can pick something slow if you think that will help?”

_ Like hell no one will be looking, when you look like that! _

Shepard slumped her shoulders and sighed. Slow. Yes, that she should be able to manage. Just flow with the music they say. It’s as simple as that. Surely she would manage that.

"Just don't get your hopes up, Liara. I'm not exactly known for my dance moves."

"Mmm, I have seen you in battle Shepard. So I think you would be able to keep up if you just put your mind to it." 

"You have been warned. I'll try not to step on your toes. That's the best I can do," Shepard smiled, feeling some of the tension leave her body. Then she studied Liara, raising her eyebrows. "Are you like some amazingly talented dancer as well? I mean you seem to have your fair share of talents, so I wouldn't be surprised if you turned out to be a professional dancer too." 

Liara chuckled. "Hardly, but I have done my share of dancing. During the holidays in Thessia, there are always lots of dancing involved, it's a big part of our culture."

"So you were taught when you were younger?"

"The basics of several different types of dances, yes."

Shepard snorted, and Liara sent her an unimpressed look before she continued.

"But I am not in any way a professional," Liara took another sip of her wine and Shepard lost herself looking at her lips again.

When the music turned to their favor, the band starting to play something soft and melodic, Liara looked at her with big blue eyes. They were almost sparkling, reflecting off the light from the table lamp. 

“Want to give it a try?”

How could Shepard say no to that?

"Okay. But you have been warned..." 

She summoned all the courage she could find and stood up, took Liara’s hand and led her out onto the floor, faking confidence. She reminded herself that no one would be looking at her, not when Liara was standing beside her in that dress.

“Look at me, Shepard,” Liara said, while she stepped closer, one arm sliding over her shoulder, resting against the back of her neck. The other hand she used to take Shepard’s in hers and pushing it against her chest. “Just try to follow my movements, it doesn't have to be complicated.”

Shepard did not know where to put her free hand, she found it hard to concentrate when she felt Liara’s palm pressed against her neck and her blue cool hand in her own sweaty palm. She had to swallow before she managed to fumble her hand onto Liara’s hip, trying to follow the asari's movements. 

Liara removed her hand and placed it over Shepard’s. “Not like this. Here...” She corrected, pulling Shepard’s arm around her waist instead. “Just hold me like that.” 

Shepard rested her hand against the small of Liara’s back, realizing there was an opening in her dress there. When their skin connected, Liara gasped and Shepard felt a shiver run through her body. They looked at each other for a couple of breathless seconds before Liara started to move them around again, slow and steady. Shepard found it hard to decide where to look, so she stared down at their feet, trying to follow the steps. They were rather simple, at least Liara made it seem that way. Even in her five-inch heels.

“Shepard?” Liara said again, and Shepard snapped her eyes back up.

“Look at  _ me _ . You don't have to look at your feet to be able to follow.”

Shepard wanted to tell her that she very much needed to look at her feet. Looking at Liara like this, their bodies touching, the skin on skin contact, the music, the dress... It was all too much. It made Shepard feel dizzy while it felt like electricity was coursing through her body, and it didn't seem to stop. Her mouth dry as sandpaper. 

_ How can she be so calm about this? _

Shepard pressed her hand even firmer into the patch of bare skin on Liara's back, and she felt Liara clutch her fingers against her neck in return. Almost like she was trying to pull their bodies closer. 

In fact, they were moving closer. They were so close now that when Shepard messed up a step their hips bumped, pelvises met. Shepard felt her pulse increase, her heart beating faster and faster and she had to get her breathing under control. And fast, before this turned even more embarrassing. Liara had managed to strip her of her usual confidence and undo her in ways she never thought possible. Just by something simple as a touch. Shepard closed her eyes for a second and released a deep shuddering breath, but when she opened them to look at Liara the sight didn't do anything to help soothe the current buzzing through her body.

Liara was looking flustered and even in the dark light of the club, Shepard could see it clearly. Her lips were slightly parted, the freckles below her eyes a dark shade of purple. Her skin both looked and felt hot to the touch. As the music continued, their bodies continued to move, and Shepard saw that Liara’s eyes were darting up and down between her eyes and her lips. She felt the maiden dig her fingers into her neck, and she responded by pulling Liara even closer, they were so close now that there was almost no room left between their bodies. Shepard could feel Liara’s heart pounding in her chest. 

Just like her own was.

Shepard forgot everything when Liara dropped her hand, only to slide it up over her shoulder and onto her face, catching the stray hair that had slipped casually over her eye, and placing it behind her ear. Shepard snaked both arms around Liara’s waist and held her. Tight.

Liara tilted her head upwards and Shepard met her by looking down into the pools of blue. They were face to face now. Shuddering breaths shared, pulses racing, hearts pounding, eyes locked completely, both bodies quivering. Heat pooling and throbbing between Shepard’s thighs.

She wondered if it was the same for Liara. She wondered if she were wet like she was herself. She wondered how it would feel like to lift Liara up and press herself between her thighs, ripping that damned dress to pieces. To feel her naked body against her own, feel her tremble and writhe under her touch. Hearing her scream out her name in pure bliss... 

Her mind went into overdrive when she felt Liara move her hand from her neck and up into her hair, her fingers intertwining into it. And then suddenly, she pulled...

“Fuck...” Shepard moaned, unable to keep it inside, while she instantly pulled Liara hard against her body. Her eyes closing from the intense feeling. Felt like she was already so close...

_ What the fuck are you doing! _

It only took a second of clarity for Shepard to release her tight hold on Liara, and she pulled away so fast her knees almost buckled out under her. The loss of heat and body contact made her head swivel. Her heartbeat was pounding hard in both her chest and inside her head. 

“I'm sorry...” She breathed while looking over at Liara who looked just as shocked as herself. 

“I think I got a little... eh, carried away.” 

Liara was holding one palm to her forehead, trying to smooth out the frown that had emerged there. “Me too, Shepard.”

People were still dancing around them, and although Shepard wasn't claustrophobic, she felt an immediate need for space and fresh air. 

“I think I better get home," Liara said, lowering her arm and clasping her hands together. 

“Yeah, I think that's a good idea.”

Both of them stepped outside, and Shepard called Sheerk to come to pick them up. The wait was quiet. Liara was standing straight, hands behind her back, focusing on something in the distance. Shepard didn't ask her what. Sheerk arrived not a moment too soon, and as they both got into the car, Shepard told him to take Liara home first. 

The ride to Liara's apartment was just as quiet as the wait had been. Shepard followed Liara out of the car and over to her door, to make sure she got in safe. 

Liara turned around after she had unlocked her door. “Goodnight, Shepard. I had a great time.” Her eyes not wanting to linger on hers. 

“I had a great time too, Liara,” Shepard said, while she held the door open for Liara to step inside. “So I will see you tomorrow then?”

“I will be ready,” Liara smiled, making Shepard's stomach flutter anew.

She watched Liara as she enter the elevator before she closed the door and got back into the car with Sheerk, telling him to take her home. She slumped back against the seat, taking her head in her hands and letting out a heavy sigh. 

Her date with Nassana was completely forgotten.


	9. Scared Of Losing You

Liara woke when the sun glinted through her bedroom curtains. She stretched her whole body, yawned and turned over on her back. Her legs were tangled in the sheets, and it took a couple of minutes for her to really wake up, before her brain seemed to start working properly. But when it did, the memories of yesterday-, of her and Shepard’s late-night dancing, came crashing down upon her.

_ Liara had slammed the door shut behind her, and thrown herself down on her bed after she had gotten home. Her whole body seemed to burn with desire, want and shame. She felt so shameful, so mortified that she couldn't keep herself under control. It had started with a simple flush before her body seemed to go hotter. When Shepard had touched her back, her strong callous hand pressing into her bare skin, Liara had felt like she had been struck by lightning. Again and again, it had coursed through her body, making her shiver. She had felt the way Shepard’s fingers had twitched against her skin, almost clawing at one point, the way she had pressed their bodies even tighter together, feeling Shepard’s breasts pressed up against her own body. _

_ Her nipples hard against her tank top. _

Liara sat up in bed, she was already starting to feel hot again, a blush burning her crest. She had been so forward. Taken liberties she should not have taken. But she had been unable to resist it. When her hand was touching the back of Shepard’s neck, feeling her hair tickling the back of her hand, she just had to feel it. Without a thought to stop her she had moved her hand up, Shepard’s soft hair running between her fingers, it felt so good, so  _ right.  _

And then she pulled. And then…

_ By the goddess! _

Liara put a hand over her mouth as she remembered the way Shepard’s breath had been skimming her face, the way her strong arms had grabbed a hold of her waist and pulled her so close. The way Shepard’s scent had almost made her buckle over, knees not able to carry her weight anymore. 

The way Shepard had  _ looked  _ when Liara had pulled her hair...

Liara couldn't deny it. Not when her body had reacted this way. After laying with her face down in her pillow for what seemed like hours after getting back from the club, trying to calm down her racing pulse, she had managed to pick herself up from her bed. She had removed her dress and tossed it into the cleaning bin, her underwear with it. It was completely soaked.

Liara cringed at the memory. She had wanted Shepard so much. Craved her even. The feeling had been so overwhelming that Liara was sure if Shepard had kissed her, or taken her over to that dark booth she would not have had the strength to stop her. The knowledge of just that made her heart clench. She shouldn’t be behaving this way, not when Falere was at home and waiting for her to get back. It was so wrong, so completely wrong, and it made Liara’s stomach turn just to think of it. No matter how much Shepard had manage to pull her in, Liara could not allow it. She wouldn't allow it.

She needed to get her feelings under control, and quickly. This was just an infatuation, something her body willed up just for her lack of intimacy ever since she had moved here. 

_ Pull yourself together, Liara. You cannot be behaving this way. _

Liara climbed out of her bed and stepped into her bathroom. She took a quick shower, before making herself a cup of tea and a heavy breakfast. She was going to need all the energy she could muster if she was to show off her biotics today. Her omni-tool chimed, and the name flashing on the message icon made her smile into a full-on grin.

_ Goddess, I cannot even see her name without acting like a fool. _

[ I’m on my way over. Don’t get fully dressed just yet, I have something for you. 

Shepard ]

A few minutes later it rang out in the apartment, and Liara buzzed Shepard in. When Liara opened the door, Shepard was wearing her usual grin, her emerald eyes shining. The sight made Liara’s stomach flutter slightly, but she was not going to let these feelings get in her way again.

"Hi." 

"Hello."

"Can I come inside?"

"Oh, yes of course." Liara stepped aside, allowing Shepard entry.

"Here. This is for you," Shepard said, handing over a large package she had been carrying under her arm.

"Oh! Thank you," Liara accepted it and put it down on the table before she started to tear the paper off it. It revealed a rectangular box, and Liara removed the lid, exposing several pieces of clothing.

"Shepard?" 

"I thought you might need some armor. I was fairly certain you didn't bring any from Thessia." Shepard smirked.

"You are right. I didn't." 

Shepard dove into the box and picked out the tight-fitting purple one piece. "This is your undergear. I think I got your size correct. It's supposed to be tight, so you won’t need to wear anything else under. You know, for eh support..." 

Liara felt her face turn purple.

Shepard hurried to continue. She put the purple one piece down and pulled out the rest of the outfit. "These black pieces are supposed to be clasped on, over the purple. It's a short jacket for your chest, and protection for your abdomen and legs as well. The saleswoman told me this is top-notch commando armor. Perfect when fighting with biotics, since it’s so light and flexible." 

Liara looked stunned at Shepard. "You thought of it all didn't you?" she smiled.

"Yeah... Go try it on! I'll help you with the clasps if you find it difficult."

Liara pulled all the pieces into her arms and stepped into her bedroom. She closed the door and lay it out on her bed. She removed the clothes she had been wearing while waiting for Shepard. She had thought she would have to rent some armor at the arena, but this seemed much better. When she was standing in just her underwear she took a moment deciding what to do. Liara removed her bra, remembering what Shepard had said about build-in support... But her panties would stay on. Surely they were meant to?

She squeezed into the tight undergear and pulled the zipper up via a tab along her left side. It fitted perfectly, and Liara did a few turns in front of her mirror. She understood what Shepard had meant about support. 

She moved on to the rest, determined to manage this by herself. She was not going to ask for help to dress herself. It took her some time, but in the end, she had managed to put it all on and clasped it together. She took a last check in the mirror. It looked good on her, and it was rather flexible and light, compared to what Liara had thought armor would feel like.

"You alright in there?" Shepard called through the door.

Liara opened it and stepped outside. She looked at Shepard and she tried her best to stop her lips from tugging upwards when she saw the humans expression.

Shepard looked like her eyes were going to pop out of her head. 

"W-wow," Shepard spluttered. She rubbed her neck while looking Liara up and down.

"You like it?"

"Yeah! Looks like it fits perfectly?"

"It does." 

When Shepard didn’t say anything else, Liara continued, "Is there anything else I need to bring?"

Shepard’s eyes snapped back up to Liara’s face.

"Y-Yeah, pack some change and whatever you need for the showers afterward..."

"Showers?" Liara had to swallow. Of course. They were going training. It would involve getting sweaty, and what's more normal than a shower afterward? Liara prayed to Athame that there were private changing rooms. She had never been comfortable getting undressed in the presence of other people. 

And certainly not in the presence of Shepard.

But if  _ she  _ was going to undress - that would mean... Liara’s eyes widened as she made the realization. 

_ There must be private changing rooms. _

She cleared her throat. "Of course. Showers. How could I be so dense," Liara said, lifting her hand to her forehead. "Give me two minutes."

She found Shepard waiting by the window with a big smile on her face when she had finished packing her bag. They stepped out and into Shepards skycar waiting outside. Sheerk, Shepard’s usual driver were waiting for them.

"Aria will meet us there," Shepard said while she was looking out of her window. 

"I must say I am very excited, Shepard. I might have many years of defensive training, but I have never been in a combat simulator before. Do you go there often?"

"No, not so much anymore. I used to frequent the one on the Citadel though, during my time with the Alliance."

Liara looked over at Shepard. "The Systems Alliance? You worked there?"

"I trained there. They kind of took me in after Mindoir. I was with the Alliance for many years, I even made it all the way to the N7 program. Never finished it though." Shepard continued to stare out the window, the look in her eyes far away.

"Why didn’t you finish it?"

Shepard sighed, then she dropped her eyes down into her lap, her hands fiddling like she needed something to occupy her.

"I- Something happened that made them kick me out... Around when I was, I guess 21 or something."

Liara could see that Shepard struggled, and she wanted to reach out to comfort her. But she stopped her hand from making the move to grab Shepard’s.

"Do you want to talk about it?”

Shepard cast a glance over at Liara, and Liara could see the pain in her usually so lively green eyes. She could see something buried in them, something Shepard didn’t want to tell her. Shepard was a person that had to endure so much pain and suffering from such a young age, and now Liara understood it was even more than what Shepard had shared with her.

The thought made her shudder.

Shepard turned and looked out the window again. "Not now. Maybe some other time..."

"I am here, Jane. If you need someone to talk to."

Shepard turned and stared into Liara’s eyes. "Thank you. I appreciate it." 

"Were here, boss," Sheerk interrupted from the front of the car.

* * *

The fighting had been intense. After almost three hours of non-stop combat, Liara slumped down on the bench in her changing room. She felt so utterly spent and exhausted, her limbs were aching and sore. Shepard had given her a protein bar before they separated into their private changing rooms. Liara tore the paper off it and chewed off a big bite. The taste was pleasant, but nothing very exciting. Shepard had told her to eat it, that she would be needing it, having spent so much energy tossing her biotics around. Liara remembered the expression on Shepard’s face when she threw her first singularity into a crowd of enemies, making them tumble into the air, all helpless. She had looked so pleased, proud even?

Liara chewed off a new bite of the protein bar while she remembered the way Shepard had almost danced between her enemies, dropping them to the ground like they were nothing. Liara had watched her as she charged into her enemies, just a big ball of blue energy surging forward. The way she had commanded Aria around, the two of them working like one. They had moved like they were melded, both of them always knowing where the other one was and what the other one was doing. It was obvious this was something they were very familiar with. Liara felt sorry for anyone who got in their way.

She took one more bite while she remembered the way Shepard had been looking at her all day. The awe in her eyes when Liara had thrown singularity after singularity and mixed in a warp now and then to create blue explosions, sending the enemies to the sky. Aria had been right. Shepard’s jaw had dropped to the floor on several occasions, leaving Liara to pause to toss her a smirk before engaging in the next wave of battle. Shepard had been all grin and laughter. And Aria had been constantly teasing her about it.

Liara found that she loved it.

It had also been very exciting watching Aria prowl the field like she owned it. Liara had even secretly recorded a moment when Aria threw herself forward towards a crowd of soldiers, before she exploded in energy, sending the soldiers several meters back from the blast. She had quickly tapped out on her omni-tool and sent the clip to Shiala. She knew her friend would appreciate it.

She swallowed the last piece of her protein-bar before swallowing down several gulps of water. She threw the paper in the bin and started to undress. 

The shower felt incredibly good and her sore muscles were soothed as the warm water washed over her. Liara suddenly realized that tonight would be the first time she would be visiting Shepard’s apartment. She was curious as to how it would look and if she would be able to find out more about Shepard. More about who she is and who she was. This wonderful woman she had grown so attached to in such a short time. Liara craved for more information about her.

Shepard and Aria were waiting outside the arena for her. Shepard was wearing a dark tank top, which seemed to be her usual attire, coupled with a leather jacket and loose fitted pants. Still, with her jacket on, Liara couldn't help gawk at her upper arms. Her muscles were bulging more than usual. She looked so strong, and Liara knew that she was. She had felt that strong body pressed up against her own only yesterday...

Liara shook her head, clearing it of the memories before stepping over to the pair. 

“I must say I’m surprised,” Aria mused, as Liara came closer. “I knew you would be strong, but that you managed to endure for as long as you did... I'm impressed, T’Soni”

Shepard chuckled, “Count yourself lucky, Liara. It takes a lot to impress her majesty.”

Aria didn’t pay any attention to her mocking tone, “No, it isn't easy to impress me, Shepard. But you would know that, wouldn’t you? As I recall you used to impress me-"

“Yeah, that’s enough,” Shepard quickly interrupted.

“Oh, Shepard,” Aria drawled. “Don’t tell me you are embarrassed about the nights we shared together. At the time you told me you had never had anyone like me-”

Shepard barked at her this time. “That’s enough, Aria!”

Liara started to laugh, and Shepard looked at her, surprised. Aria just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, kids. I’m getting back to Afterlife. I have some business to attend to,” Aria said while bringing up her omni-tool. After a couple of minutes, two cars arrived to pick them up.

Shepard looked at Liara, “Ready for dinner?”

“Yes, very."

* * *

They arrived back at Shepard’s apartment just ten minutes later. Liara looked in awe out the window of the skycar as it continued to ascend higher and higher, taking them to the top of the apartment building where Shepard lived. Sheerk parked them at the top of the towers, and Liara watched while Shepard exited the car, walking over to one of the four guards controlling the area. They exchanged a few words before she got back and offered Liara a hand. Liara followed Shepard into an elevator, bringing them down three floors, as far as it went, to Shepard’s flat.

“It’s a private elevator,” Shepard said, sensing what Liara was about to ask. “It’s a safety measure. Mine and Aria’s apartment is only accessible through the roof entrance. And as you just saw, that entrance is always guarded.”

On their way out of the elevator, Liara spotted an asari exiting what obviously was the door to Shepard's apartment. The asari strode towards them, her eyes fixed on Shepard, and a smile growing on her face as she came closer.

“Shepard,” she almost purred, putting her hand on Shepard’s upper arm and leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. “Everything is ready for you.”

Her eyes quickly skimmed over to Liara, before they returned back to Shepard.

“Thank you, “ Shepard said, turning towards Liara. “Liara, this is Nyxeris. Mine and Aria’s assistant, who I told you about...”

Before Liara could say anything, Nyxeris was on her. “Ah, Liara. I have heard so much about you. A pleasure to finally meet you.” She extended a hand and Liara shook it.

“Nice to meet you too, Nyxeris.” 

Nyxeris forced a smile, before focusing on Shepard again, her hand squeezing her arm and lingering there for several seconds. Liara felt the whole thing was uncomfortable. She wanted to hit her hand away.

“You want me to come back later?” Nyxeris asked Shepard, battering her eyes.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” Shepard said, and Liara felt relieved. She did not want to think about why Nyxeris was proposing to come over later.

Nyxeris face faltered for a second before she recovered. “Fine. I will be over tomorrow then.” She started to move, slowly, letting her hand slide along Shepard’s arm, until it slipped away over her shoulder. Shepard shivered.

Liara frowned.

Nyxeris smirked.

When Nyxeris had walked away, they stepped inside Shepard's apartment and Liara gasped when she saw how big it was. They entered into what was one large room with giant windows all around, showing off Omega in a rather flattery way. The kitchen was off to the right, spanning along the wall with a kitchen island made from some kind of stone material. Liara guessed it may be from Earth. She made a mental note to ask later. The other side of the room had a couch and several fancy chairs around a living room table, and a bar stretched along the wall, made from the same stone material, with a glass top. But it was the giant piano over by one of the large windows that caught Liara’s attention.

"Do you play?" she asked, turning around to face Shepard, who was already reaching out to take her coat.

"The piano? No, actually I don't. It’s just for show."

Liara let Shepard take her coat before she walked over to the piano. She pressed down on a couple of tangents, trying to remember the start of the melody her mother had used to play for her. 

"You play?" Shepard walked over, a glint in her eyes.

"No, but my mother, Benezia, she used to play me this melody when I was little. It has always stuck with me..." She pressed a couple of more tangents before taking her hand away.

"Are you close with her?"

Liara felt a pang of sorrow hit her. "We were close. But she is not with us anymore. She..."

Shepard put a hand on her arm.

"She was killed in an accident while she was traveling through her job. We never found out exactly what happened, but we were at least lucky enough to get her body back to bury her." 

"I’m sorry. That must have been awful for you."

"It was. But as I said it's a long time ago. Seeing this piano just reminded me of her." Liara wiped one escaped tear away, before smiling at Shepard.

"Anyway, I believe you wanted to make me dinner, or have Nyxeris already done that for you?" Liara teased, wanting to talk about something other than her mother.

"Ah, I’m hurt you think so little of me!" Shepard held a hand to her heart.

Liara giggled.

"Nyxeris only stocked the fridge. I told her I wanted to make you dinner myself. I asked her to buy ingredients from Earth. I hope that's okay?" Shepard said while moving toward the kitchen.

Liara followed her and stopped at the kitchen-island, while Shepard started rummaging through the fridge, picking out ingredients and placing it in front of Liara.

"That sounds lovely. But you have to tell me what this is because I have very little knowledge of your different type of food and ingredients."

Shepard closed the fridge and turned around, grinning. "Ah, I hoped you would say that. I wanted to surprise you with something you probably haven't eaten before," she gestured over to the different kind of food ingredients she had placed on the counter- 

"Chicken Enchiladas!" 

Liara looked curious at the food. "Chicken? That is an earthen animal, correct?"

"Yeah. Kind of like a bird, only it doesn't fly..." Shepard raised one eye, “I’m not going to poison you am I?”

Liara stepped around the island, closer to the food, studying it. “I hope not,” she teased.

"What is this?" she asked, pointing towards something red she presumed was some kind of vegetable.

"Bell peppers, it’s a vegetable. And this is onion, also a vegetable," Shepard showed off and Liara watched with excitement as Shepard continued to tell her about the dish she was preparing.

She tied an apron around herself before she pulled out a bar chair and told Liara to sit down.

"Red or white?"

"White, please."

Shepard opened a wine fridge and pulled out a bottle after a few seconds of considering which one. She put down two glasses in front of Liara and unscrewed the cap, pouring them both some wine.

"I hope this is okay. I’m no wine expert but I told Nyxeris to buy something that you would find on Thessia as well." Shepard said, pushing one glass towards Liara. She continued to watch her, waiting for her to taste it.

Liara brought it to her mouth and tasted it. 

"It's perfect, Shepard. Thank you."

Shepard’s lips curled upwards. She started to chop the vegetables before she went on to chop the chicken into pieces and frying it in a pan. After some time the preparations were done, all it had to do was cook inside the oven. 

Shepard removed her apron and threw it over the counter. She glanced over at Liara who couldn't hide her obvious smile.

"What?" she said, toweling off her hands.

"Nothing... I am just surprised, that's all," Liara said.

"You’re surprised I know how to cook?" Shepard asked while grabbing a chair to sit down beside her.

Liara shook her head, "No, you are just very different from what I pictured you to be when I first saw you..."

"You mean that first time at Afterlife? When I caught you and your friend staring at me?" Shepard smirked.

Liara felt her crest burn with a blush. "By the Goddess... was it that obvious?" 

"Well, it wasn't very subtle. But I didn't mind. It’s not every day I catch a beautiful woman staring at me..."

Liara had to take another drink of her wine to calm her increasing pulse. She was not going down this road again, so she hurried to change the subject.

"I’m curious... Why did you move to Omega? What made you choose this place?" 

Shepard looked away like she had done the last time Liara had brought up this topic. Still, Liara was not going to back down now. Either Shepard would talk to her about her past or she would have to tell her to back off.

"Anonymity. I knew no one would find me here, or even search for me. I guess I just wanted to be left alone..."

Liara pressed on, "Why didn't you want to be found? You told me something happened while you were with the Alliance?"

"You really want to know this, huh?" Shepard said, her voice with a hint of sadness. She glanced at Liara before she looked down into her hands. They were folded together on top of the counter.

"Yes, I want to know  _ you, Jane."  _

Shepard sighed. "I was almost done with my N7 training, I wanted to be a Commander, to have my own ship and fly the colors of the Alliance. Ever since what happened at Mindoir I wanted- no  _ needed  _ a purpose in life. To do something good. Maybe help others so they would never have to experience what I did..." Shepard started to rub her thumb inside her open palm, still not comfortable to meet Liara's eyes. 

"I was engaged you know. To a girl named Sam. I met her during my training when we were on shore leave in London, a city on Earth. We were only kids but we were together for four years before I asked her to marry me." 

Liara watched as Shepard struggled. She was getting more and more frantic with the movements of her hands, needing something to do with them while she talked about what was not going to be a pleasant memory. Liara braced herself, took a deep breath and took one of Shepard's hands in hers, and moved it into her lap, closing both of her hands around it.

Shepard looked up in surprise.

"Anyway, I thought I had it all... My training nearly done, my girlfriend agreed to marry me, we had even talked about kids." Shepard snorted and shook her head. 

"What is it?" Liara asked.

"It just seems like such a long time ago. All those things I wanted then..."

"You don't want that anymore?" Liara whispered, felt a sting in her heart.

Shepard looked at her. "No. I gave that up when I came here. All the things I have done... All the people I have killed. There is to much blood on my hands, Liara. I could never bring a kid into this world. Never. Besides I would be an awful parent."

Liara didn’t know why the words hit her as hard as they did. It was like someone had punched her hard in her gut, her heart sinking to her stomach. "Jane..." she started, but Shepard interrupted her.

"No, it's fine really. I made my peace with it long ago." She managed a soft smile. "One day when I got back from training, It must have been one of the last days, I noticed something was off when I entered the apartment me and Sam were renting on the Citadel. I found Kaidan, my very best friend, who I had spent all these years training with, always backing each other, always being there for each other. I found him in my bed..." Shepard looked away again. "It had obviously been going on for quite a while behind my back."

"Oh, that is awful," Liara rubbed her hand. She felt it twitch inside hers like Shepard wanted to pull it away, but she only held on harder.

"Yeah... But what I did was so much worse. You have no idea." Shepard suddenly got up from the chair, her hand slipping out of Liara’s as she walked over to lean her arm against the window. Liara studied her before she decided to walk over. She didn't want to push her too hard.

"Tell me," Liara stepped up behind Shepard.

"I don't think I can do that. I will probably lose you if I do. You will never be able to look at me again..." Shepard said while she stared out the window and Liara felt a chill pass through her body when her words hit.

"No matter what you did-" Liara stepped even closer and put one hand on her back, "You will not scare me away. I promise, Jane."

Liara felt Shepard tremble slightly under her touch, she could see part of Shepard’s face in the reflection of the window. Her cheeks had tears on them.

Liara put her other hand on her lower arm, which was just hanging down by her side. She started to stroke her arm slowly. "If you can't tell me... Will you show me?"

Shepard turned around and met Liara’s eyes.

“Show you? You mean you want to meld with me?”

“Yes.”

Shepard shook her head, “I have never done that before. I don’t...” 

Liara was surprised. “You have never melded before?”

“No. I never want anyone to search my mind. I find it kind of... I don’t know. Scary? That someone has free access to look at anything they want to.”

“I would never do that. I would never look at anything other than what you decide to show me.” Liara assured while she looked straight into Shepard’s eyes.

Shepard sighed, taking Liara’s hand and squeezing it. “Okay. I trust you.”

Liara stepped closer to Shepard and took her other hand as well. “Are you sure you want to do this? As I said I will not be looking at anything other than what you show me. I will be able to see and feel whatever you think about it. Just like you do yourself.”

“That is kind of scary though,” Shepard whispered. “So what do you need me to do?”

“Just think about the memory you want to show me, try to relieve it,” Liara looked up into Shepard’s green eyes, reassuring her. “You will not scare me away, I promise.”

Shepard let out a long shuddering breath, “Okay.”

“Just look at me,” Liara said, before closing her eyes. When they opened again, they were glossed over in black. She could see Shepard’s eyes widen, “Embrace eternity.”

Liara felt everything shift around her. At first, it was all chaotic, like several short snippets of memories fled past in just a couple of seconds. She felt a strong feeling of panic and fear and she felt Shepard trying to pull her mind away from hers. Liara had expected this since Shepard hadn’t melded before. So she tried her best to calm her down.

_ ‘I am here, Shepard. Try to stay calm. Try to focus on one thing.’ _

_ ‘I’m scared...’ _

_ ‘You don’t have to be scared. I will not be intruding on your privacy.’ _

_ ‘I’m not scared of that...’ _

_ ‘Then what-’ _

_ ‘I’m scared of losing you.’ _

Liara felt a sudden overwhelming wave of emotions coming from Shepard. It was crashing over her, almost knocking her back into herself, but she held on, determined to make this work. She tried to gather Shepard’s thoughts, tried to steer Shepard's mind towards the memory she was supposed to show her. Liara didn't want to linger in these feelings. It felt so  _ private. _

At first several images blended into each other, so quickly Liara almost missed what they were. But she managed to pick up some of them. There was the first time Shepard had seen her at Afterlife, she could feel how Shepard felt, her own blue eyes the most beautiful eyes Shepard had ever seen. Then it was the first time Shepard had heard her name-  _ Liara...  _ It was like an echo going off in her mind. 

Then Liara was suddenly back at her own apartment, sitting on the couch, looking at herself. Leaning forward and feeling those cool lips against her own, felt how Shepard’s heart had started to pound in her chest, how much she had wanted to deepen the kiss.

Liara pushed the image away. This was not why she was here. She needed to lead Shepard through the meld since she was too overwhelmed to be able to control her thoughts.

_ ‘I’m sorry. I didn't mean for you to see that...’ _

_ ‘It is fine. Now I want you to think about what you wanted to show me. And only that. Try to relax and trust me.’ _

After a couple of seconds, Liara felt a shift again, and suddenly she was standing before what must have been Shepard’s apartment on the Citadel. She could see Shepard enter, and she followed her close behind. Shepard called out Sam’s name before she suddenly felt a cold chill run down her spine. Liara looked at Shepard who was staring at a pair of shoes and a jacket lying on the floor. They were not her own.

Liara followed as Shepard walked through the hallway and stopped before a door. There were muffled moans coming from inside the room. When Shepard opened the door, Liara suddenly felt an overwhelming pain surge through her heart. Then there was shock, disbelief, pain again as she watched Shepard standing in the doorway, her eyes wide in horror and her mouth open. She could clearly see the two people naked on the bed, and Liara watched how Shepard turned around and ran towards the exit before she suddenly stopped. Liara could hear the other woman, Sam, call out for her.

When Shepard turned around, Liara instantly recognized the look on her face and the emotions in her eyes. Even though she could feel everything Shepard had felt, all the pain, shock, now rising anger, it terrified her. Shepard looked like she was ready to kill, and that no one would be able to stop her. She started for the bedroom again and pushed Sam out of the way when she tried to hold her back. She went for Kaidan and pushed him into the wall before she hit him hard in the jaw. 

Kaidan tried to stop her by grabbing at her arms, but Shepard managed to hit him again. And again. There were shouting and name-calling and Liara could feel Shepard’s anger rising higher until suddenly it reached its peak. But she didn’t expect what happened next. Shepard stopped her arm mid-air, aimed straight for Kaidan’s bleeding face. She withdrew it, spat in the man's face before she turned around to walk out of the apartment. She shrugged Sam off her, who was clutching at her, crying and begging for her to stay. When Shepard stepped outside the apartment someone came from behind and pushed her hard in her back, screaming at her that this was her own damn fault. For never being there, always prioritizing her career, and that it was no wonder Sam found someone else to take care of her.

What happened next made Liara gasp. When Shepard picked herself off the ground and turned around, it was Kaidan who stood there, pointing at her, blaming her for what happened. Shepard surged forward again, and this time she must have hit Kaidan exactly at the wrong place and just a bit too hard. He lost his footing and fell backward, hitting the pavement with his head first. Liara could only watch as Shepard froze, Sam screaming and Kaidan lying lifeless on the ground, blood pooling out from his head. His eyes were still open, but they were dull. Liara tried to reach out for Shepard as she stood there frozen to the spot. Although Liara knew she couldn't touch her, that it was all a memory. Shepard looked so young, so terrified and alone at that moment that it made Liara’s heart crack.

Suddenly Liara was back at Shepard’s apartment, while she felt Shepard withdrawing back into herself. At first, Liara felt disoriented, the meld had ruptured too quickly, and she had to blink several times before she understood where she was. She was sitting on the floor beside the window, Shepard was hugging her and crying into her neck. Liara instantly put her arms around her shaking body and held her tight. Her own eyes starting to tear up as well.

“I am so sorry, Jane...” Liara repeated again and again until she felt Shepard starting to calm down, her sobs starting to quiet.

“Please don’t leave me...” Shepard whimpered into Liara’s neck. 

Liara felt her heart clench with pain. She had never heard Shepard so vulnerable before, so frightened.

“I will never leave you,” she whispered back.

Liara moved her hands up to Shepard’s shoulders and pushed her lightly back so that she could look into her eyes. “This was not your fault, Shepard. It was an accident,” She said strictly.

Shepard used one hand to wipe her face. “I know. Deep down I know that. I just... I killed my best friend because of a fucking affair. I should have just walked away-”

Liara cut her off, “You did! You did walk away. He never should have come after you like that, and the things he said... Everyone would have done what you did.”

Shepard closed her eyes and let out several shuddering breaths. “So you won’t leave then?”

“No.”

When Shepard opened her eyes again, Liara could see the relief in them. “Of course I won’t,” she said, cupping Shepard's face and stroking her thumb over her cheek. “I am just so sorry this happened to you. You never deserved any of this.”

“Thank you.”

They were interrupted by the alarm from the oven, alerting that the food was ready. Shepard stood up, and reach out a hand, helping Liara up from the floor. Liara pulled her into an embrace again.

“I’m sorry I cried on you,” Shepard said, tightening her grip around her waist.

Liara smiled into Shepard’s neck, her scent hitting her again, almost making her forget everything she had been telling herself earlier that day. Almost stripping her of her own defense. She had felt so many emotions from Shepard through the meld, and now Liara was not so sure it had all belonged to the human. 

“Don’t apologize for crying. I am just glad you trusted me enough to share with me. I just hope it helped to share it with someone.”

Shepard pulled back and held her shoulders, “Yeah, actually I feel much better.” The alarm from the stove started to ring again. “Ah, the food! You must be starving...”

Liara loved the enchiladas, she even asked Shepard if she would make it for her again at a later time. She had gone through two glasses of wine, and she started to feel more relaxed. The soreness and tension in her muscles were almost gone, and she could sense a shift in Shepard’s mood as well. She seemed more, light like she had removed a big burden from her shoulders. The glint in her eyes were back, her smile and laughter were coming with shorter intervals, and Liara believed the meld had helped her. She was grateful she had been able to take a part in making Shepard feel this way.

“So what happened to you after the incident?”

“I was trialed with murder, but I was never convicted. The Alliance got me a good lawyer, although I hardly remember anything of it. I was just ready to do my time and pay for what I had done.” Shepard paused and swallowed down some wine.

“They blamed it on PTSD because of Mindoir and the brutal N7 program. And they called it an accident. I was discharged from the program of course, and pretty much all of my friends disappeared with it. Then I made the choice to start over somewhere else. Somewhere no one knew me. And that's how I ended up here-”

Shepard’s omni-tool chimed. “Excuse me, I need to take this,” she said before stepping away from the kitchen. “Bray, what? Now?”

Shepard sighed, “Ok, I’m on my way. Don't let her out of your sight, you hear me!”

Liara stood up as well when Shepard turned around facing her again. “What’s the matter?”

“I need to go. It’s Aria. She’s fine, but someone just tried to take her out.”

Liara's eyes widened. “By the Goddess!”

“Well it’s not the first time, and it won't be the last. But I need to take care of this.” She shook her head, “I’m so sorry, we didn't even make it to dessert. And I had a whole thing planned...”

“It is fine, you can make me desert another time.” Liara smiled.

“You could stay though, finish the wine and relax, I'll have Sheerk waiting in the car for you upstairs whenever you want to leave,” Shepard said while she grabbed her leather jacket and put it on. She walked over to Liara and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Liara could feel Shepard’s hair tickle her face while her lips lingered. Liara closed her eyes for a second.

“I’m so sorry, again. But please stay. Feel at home,” Shepard said as she pulled back with a smile before she hurried out the door. 

Liara stood back, her hand touching her cheek, letting her fingers trace were Shepard’s lips had just been. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer to Athame. If what she was starting to feel was real. If she was being honest with herself and let herself feel what she had been trying to push away... Liara was out on deep waters now. And she knew it. 

She sat down, took a deep breath and opened her omni-tool with her slightly shaking fingers. She booked her flight tickets for Serrice, Thessia in two weeks. She needed to go home. She needed to see Falere. 

And she needed to talk to her father.

**** **   
**


	10. Falling

Shepard tapped her foot impatiently against the floor of the skycar, while she waited for it to reach it's destination. The traffic was bad this time of day, and Shepard regretted not walking instead. It would actually had saved her time. She glanced over to the bag on the seat beside her, wondering if she had forgotten anything. She figured she hadn't, so she leaned back, looking out the window while her mind wandered. Her foot started tapping again, before she physically pushed it to stop with her hand. Shepard was usually never impatient. Aria had once called her the epitome of human calmness, whatever she had meant by that. 

It was two weeks since she had left Liara in her apartment. Her hunt for Arias hitmen had led her to leave Omega, and she had just gotten back. Only prioritising a couple of hours sleep and a good long shower before rushing out to find Liara. Two weeks was an awful long time to miss someone. Shepard opened her omnitool and prepared a message, just like she had been doing so many times these past weeks. She had wanted to message Liara, ask her how she was. But most of all she wanted to ask Liara if she had felt what Shepard had been unable to hide in the meld. Her innermost secret feelings. If Shepard was being honest, she hadn’t even wanted to address them herself. But lately, she got the feeling that they would only eat away at her and grow bigger and bigger if she didn’t do something about it soon. She thought about it, then she closed her omnitool again, just like she had done every other time she had brought it up.

Although Shepard had her hands full on the mission, she found herself thinking about Liara in the weirdest scenarios. Even when all hell had broken loose around her, in the middle of battle, Liara had suddenly filled up her mind. And the reasons for it made Shepard worried.

For the first time in her life she had been afraid. Afraid of getting injured, afraid of death. It was like she suddenly had a reason to stay alive. A reason to live.

She let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes and leaning her head back into the seat.

"You okay, boss?" Sheerk asked from the front of the car.

Shepard opened her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

But really she wasn't. Ever since that dance, Shepard had not been fine. She had barely managed to control herself in the ride over to Liara’s apartment, her whole body fuzzing with an incredible arousal. She had jumped out of the skycar when it had reached the top of her own apartment, the elevator ride down the three floors seemed to take forever. Shepard needed something.. She needed to release all of the build up tension before she vaporised. 

Lucky for her she met Nyxeris in the hallway..

_ She pushed Nyxeris up against the wall, devouring her lips in a hot and messy kiss, biting down on her bottom lip, making the asari keen. She grinded against Nyxeris thigh, she didn't care how needy it seemed. Not one bit. _

_ “I need you..” Shepard breathed into the side of Nyxeris crest.  _

_ Shepard felt hands opening the buttons on her pants, one hand slipping inside before nudging her boxers slightly down. Nyxeris led her hand into Shepard’s boxers and she gasped when she felt the wetness soaking her hand. _

_ “Goddess, Shepard.” _

_ “Don’t speak, just touch me.. Fuck I need..” _

_ Nyxeris fingers slid through her wetness and Shepard bucked hard against her hand. Again and again she bucked, her breathing increasing, Nyxeris hand moving faster and harder, her fingers working around and over her clit in perfect rhythm. Shepard closed her eyes. The thought of Liara pulling her hair, the wanton look in her eyes playing again and again before her eyelids. _

_ “Fuuuuck!” she screamed when she tipped over the edge. Her body stiffened and she spilled all over Nyxeris hand, completely soaking her already ruined boxers. _

_ She continued to grind against the hand, while slowly coming down from her intense orgasm. _

_ Nyxeris was panting against her face, “Shepard.. that was-” _

_ Shepard pulled her hand out of her boxers and dragged her along inside the apartment. _

_ “I’m not done with you yet-.” _

“We’re here boss,” Sheerk interrupted her thought, making Shepard jump in her seat.

He pulled over outside Liara's apartment, and Shepard jumped out of the car. She had been over at the clinic first, but Liara had been nowhere to find. She had talked to a colleague of her who said Liara had taken some time off work. Why, Shepard didn't know.

She was already on her way over to the door to press the buzzer when Liara suddenly came out of the entrance, carrying a large bag that looked entirely too heavy for her. Shepard felt panic starting to creep up on her. Was Liara leaving? And without even speaking to her? 

She knew she should never have melded with her.

_ Fuck. _

"Liara?"

Liara looked surprised to see her there, "Shepard? What are you doing here?”

"I came to see you. I went by the clinic first, they said you’ve taken some time off work?"

Before Liara even got the chance to answer, “are you leaving?”

Liara stopped and put down her bag, "It's been two weeks. I never heard anything. So I guessed you were busy." 

"I had to leave the station and I.. Yeah, I was kind of busy. I wanted to talk to you I just didn’t know what to say really.” Shepard dipped her eyes, suddenly feeling insecure. “I didn't know if maybe you had changed your mind about me.. After the meld.."

Liara sighed, "I meant what I said, Jane. You can’t scare me away."

Shepard cocked her head and looked at the bag.

"I am going home to Serrice." 

Shepard froze, "for good or?" 

"I will be back next week."

Shepard’s mouth turned into a smile as she felt relief wash over her. "You want a ride to the docking station?"

"You don't have to bother Sheerk with that," Liara waived her hand. "I was just about to call for a taxi-"

"Nonsense, Sheerk goes wherever I tell him to go." Shepard turned and call out to her driver, "isn't that right, Sheerk?"

Sheerk rolled down the window of the car and stuck his head out, "what was that, boss?"

"You go wherever I tell you to go, right?"

"Yes,boss."

“So if I tell you to drive me around omega for 24 hours straight, you would do that right?

“Yes, boss.”

Shepard glanced quickly at Liara, smirking, before addressing her driver again.

"And if I tell you to drive Liara here to the docking station, you would do that, right?"

"Yes, boss."

Shepard turned towards Liara again. "Talkative type, huh? That's why I love him though."

Liara started to giggle, and Shepard had to laugh with her, her chest feeling lighter than she had felt in weeks. Liara had a way of doing that to her. Just to be near her, hear her wonderful laughter, watch that adorable freckled face. Shepard found it was all she really needed.

She grabbed Liara's bag and put it in the trunk of the car. "Come on, Doc. Let's get you home."

Liara stepped willingly with her into the car. Sheerk fired it up and in ten minutes they were parked at the Omega docking station.

Shepard carried her bag and offered to walk Liara to the ship, and she stood back as Liara talked to one of the docking agents. 

"By the goddess, are you sure there is no other way?" Shepard heard Liara say, and she stepped over to see what was going on.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she stepped up beside Liara.

"I managed to book the flight on the wrong date. And now he tells me there is no available flights I can switch to." Liara sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I cannot believe I managed to book the wrong date!"

"When did you book for?" 

"Last week.."

"Oh." Shepard turned towards the agent, "are you sure there is nothing you can do? No alternative ships she can get on? There must be something.."

"I'm afraid not, everything is fully booked, the first available flight I have is a month away as I already told Miss T'Soni-"

"Doctor T'Soni." Shepard corrected him.

"I'm sorry. Doctor T'Soni. As I already told her-" 

"Yeah yeah, we got it.." Shepard sighed.

Liara turned away and went over to the closest bench and sat down on it, a worried frown on her forehead. Shepard grabbed her bag and sat down beside her. 

"Well that sucks." 

"Yes, it really does." Liara sighed again, “and I was really looking forward to go home. Well, I guess I should book the next available flight then-”

Sometimes Shepard gets brilliant ideas. This was one of those moments. She rose quickly from the bench, interrupting Liara. “Just wait here for a second. I’ll be right back.”

Shepard stepped away from Liara and brought up her omnitool. She called Aria and after a few minutes of planning, she glanced over at Liara. She was observing Shepard wide eyed.

“Thanks, Aria. I owe you one!” Shepard closed her omni, beaming as she stepped back over to Liara. 

“Come with me..” Shepard said, her lips curling into a full on grin.

Liara looked puzzled at her. “What- Why?”

“Just trust me. Come on.” Shepard grabbed her bag again and threw it over her shoulder, before she took Liara’s hand in her free one, and dragged the maiden with her further into the terminal. 

“P224. P224..” Shepard repeated to herself while she scanned the terminal signs while they moved forward.

“What are you looking for?” Liara asked, and Shepard stopped.

“Hmm.. Ah!” she suddenly exclaimed. “Docking Bay P224!” 

She dragged Liara with her again, until they reached the correct terminal. Shepard put Liara’s bag down, let go of her hand and opened her omnitool again, before stepping over to a turian security guard, standing before the entrance tube to a rather small ship. 

“How long until you are ready to leave?”

The turian instantly recognised Shepard, “I just talked to Aria, give us 30 minutes, and we will be ready to take you to Thessia.”

Shepard nodded, “great, can we board while we wait?”

“Yes.”

Shepard turned towards Liara who was still staring at her, clueless about what was going on. 

“Come on, Liara. We don’t want to miss our flight.” Shepard smirked.

Liara gasped the moment she understood what Shepard meant. “Our flight?” she stuttered.

“Yeah. You want to go home, don't you? This little ship will take us to Serrice in one day.”

“Who’s ship is this?” Liara asked, stepping closer to the window to get a better look at the ship docked outside.

“Take a better look, and I think you may be able to guess it.” Shepard said, nodding towards the large white Omega sign on the side of the black ship.

“This is Aria’s ship? She would do this for me?” 

“Sure, she won’t be needing it anyway. Let’s get inside.”

Liara paused, “are you coming with me?”

“Of course. I’m not letting you fly off alone. Besides you probably need the company. It will be only us, the pilot and a few engineers, just to keep the ship operable.”

Liara’s eyes were shining and she was practically beaming with joy. Her lips wide in the most beautiful smile Shepard had ever seen. “Thank you, Jane. Thank you so much for doing this.”

“Ah, it’s no problem. I’m just happy I get to spend some time with you before you disappear for a week again...”

Liara chuckled, “if I remember correctly it was you who disappeared for  _ two  _ weeks.”

“Yeah, and I fully intend to make up for that.” Shepard winked, making Liara flush purple. Shepard loved when that happened.

She opened her omnitool and tapped a message to Sheerk, telling him to bring her bag from the car. She closed it before taking Liara's hand again.

“Come on, let’s board.”

* * *

Shepard hummed while she walked towards the cabin. The cabin both she and Liara was going to share for one night. The thought made Shepard stop for a second. She was definitely letting Liara have the bed, and she would make good on the couch. Because sharing a bed might be a little to forward for Liara’s taste. Or? 

Yeah, totally to forward.

Shepard carried a tray with the dessert she had promised Liara weeks ago. She knew Liara was unfamiliar with earthen cousine, and that would make her unfamiliar with earthen desserts. Shepard had gone out of her way, at least she had been pestering Nyxeris to go out of  _ her  _ way, to find just what Shepard needed. It was a fairly simple dessert, but it was something Shepard had always loved herself, ever since she was a kid and her father had brought it for her and her little brother when he returned from one of his trips to Earth. Shepard remembered it like it was yesterday, how she and John had been standing outside their house, watching as the ship their father always used, flew over their house.

It was one of the special childhood memories Shepard carried with her. 

When she reached the door to the cabin she balanced the tray with the ingredients on one hand, while she quickly pressed the green pressure pad, opening the door with a whoosh. 

The cabin was quite big compared to the size of the ship. It had a desk and a private bathroom on the upper floor, and a short stair that took you down to the bed and a small couch. Leather of course. The whole left side of the cabin was one giant window, showing off the galaxy and it’s stars in all its glory. Shepard never got sick of the view.

Liara was standing by the window, enjoying the pleasant view of the galaxy outside. She turned around when she heard Shepard enter, and her lips curled upwards, her eyes beaming.

“What is that?” she gasped, her eyes widening.

“This-” Shepard put the tray down on the table and gestured towards the ingredients on it, “this is dessert. Just like I promised.”

Shepard watched as Liara almost ran over to the table, her curiosity taking a hold of her. She picked up a red strawberry, held it between two fingers while she examined it. She looked at it first, then she ran her finger over it, feeling it. 

Shepard laughed.

“What?” Liara questioned.

Shepard shook her head in amusement. “It’s just, I have never seen anyone so interested in a strawberry before, that's all.”

Liara continued to examine it, obviously very fascinated. “Strawberry..”

“It’s a berry. It’s sweet.”

Liara put the strawberry down and moved on to the chocolate bar. “This I know. Chocolate.” She seemed so pleased with herself, Shepard couldn't help grinning. 

“Have you tasted it before?”

“Yes. I have, and I really like it.” Liara said, sitting down on the couch. “So what do we eat first? The berry?”

Shepard sat down beside her. “No, we eat it together. But first, we have to melt the chocolate. Then we dip the strawberry in it.”

Liara watched eagerly as Shepard cracked the chocolate into smaller pieces and put it in a small bowl, which she placed a top of a holder, lighting a small candle under it.

“This is to get the heat to melt the chocolate.”

“I have never had melted chocolate before.” Liara said, watching closely as the chocolate melted slowly in the bowl. 

Shepard found the whole thing endearing.

_ She is so damn cute when she acts like this.. _

Shepard stirred the chocolate until it was all melted, she then showed Liara what to do. “You take one of these wooden sticks, put the strawberry on, remember to remove the green thing, you don't want to eat that..” Shepard prepared one berry while she explained, Liara watched her with big blue eyes.

“Then you just stick it into the chocolate, like this-” Shepard put the strawberry into the bowl and twirled it around, making sure the whole berry got covered in chocolate. She then took the strawberry in her mouth and pulled it off the stick, while humming. “Mmm.. So good.”

Liara giggled. 

“Try one,” Shepard mumbled with her mouth full.

Liara went for it and she twirled the strawberry around, covering it before she took it in her mouth. Shepard watched as she slid the wooden stick out between her lips, and although Shepard was excited to see if Liara enjoyed it, the sight of Liara’s purple lips around that stick made her mouth go dry. 

It sent a pulse of heat straight down between her legs.

_ Damn, how is it she makes everything seem so sexy.. _

“By the Goddess, that was amazing Shepard. Can I have one more?” Liara looked at Shepard, her eyes pleading.

Shepard chuckled, “of course, you can have as many as you want. The whole basket is yours..”

They continued to enjoy the dessert, and Liara was eating strawberry after strawberry, Shepard watched her with amusement and awe. She found herself smiling wider and wider just looking at Liara, her blue eyes beaming everytime she took a berry in her mouth. And everytime she had swallowed she met Shepard’s gaze, like she was silently asking for permission to take one more.

And the small sounds she made.. Shepard wanted to hear them again and again.

The basket was getting near empty and Shepard watched again as Liara twirled the berry around in the chocolate, making sure to soak it completely, before brining it between her lips. Some of the chocolate dripped down onto her chin, and without thinking about it Shepard brought her thumb up, stroked the chocolate away and brought the thumb to her mouth, sucking it clean.

Liara stared up at her, her eyes growing wider, a blush spreading from her crest and down her chest and Shepard suddenly realised what she had done. Their eyes locked and Shepard felt her heart starting to jab at her ribcage. She slightly parted her mouth so she would be able to breath proper. It became harder and harder with each second passing. 

_ I need to do this. _

Shepard didn’t think, or she didn’t want to think. She wasn't sure. Her mind was spinning, her senses heightened as she scooped closer to Liara on the couch. She picked up one strawberry with her hand, putting it into the chocolate and lifted it up, before she gawked at Liara’s lips, bringing it to her mouth. Liara opened it, and took the berry, with Shepard’s fingertips into her mouth. And then she sucked.

She really sucked them clean.

And she 'hmmmd' and Shepard had to bite her lip to stop herself from groaning.

Still Shepard didn’t remove her fingers, she traced them along Liara’s parted trembling lips. Her own fingers shaking from the heat. Although Liara was supposed to be cooler, her lips were burning her fingertips. And when Liara opened her mouth again and took one finger slightly inside her mouth, kissing it, Shepard had to remind herself to keep breathing. 

They continued to stare at each other, while Shepard moved her fingers from Liara’s lips, over her cheek, and to the back of her crest, slightly caressing them over where Shepard knew asari was sensitive.  _ Very  _ sensitive. She watched with big eyes as Liara closed hers, and took a deep shuddering breath. When she opened them again, black tendrils were creeping towards her pupils. The sight made Shepard shudder.

She went for it. She wasn't able to hold back anymore. 

She scooted all the way beside Liara, until their thighs met on the couch. She cupped her face and tilted it slowly upwards, before she leaned down and took Liara’s lips against her own. This time she didn't freeze. 

Neither did Liara.

Shepard felt her heart beat faster and harder, feeling like it was going to explode when Liara’s taste hit her tongue. She closed her eyes and basked in the wonderful taste and smell that was all Liara. She slowly moved her lips against hers, savoring every delightful little friction, every little sound Liara made. 

Shepard let her tongue slowly slide into Liara’s mouth. She carefully touched Liara’s own with it, and she felt a shiver run through the asari. Their tongues slowly moved against each other, and the feeling was something Shepard had never experienced. Liara’s hands went around her head, carefully threading her hair between her blue fingers.

It felt so good, so absolutely right. Liara’s hands belonged in her hair, and Liara’s lips belonged against her own.

Shepard wanted to stay like this forever, she hated that her lungs were starting to burn with the need for air. She didn't want this to end. Her hand cupped Liara’s face harder, dragging her closer, and she kissed her until the need for air became all to much. Shepard pulled back, gasping for air. She did not open her eyes, and she only moved an inch away from those purple lips she wanted to taste again and again. 

It was all Shepard wanted to do for the rest of eternity.

She felt Liara’s breath hot on her face, trembling against the hand on her cheek.

Shepard leaned forward again, she needed more, but this time Liara pulled away. She opened her eyes and saw that Liara’s were filled with tears as she moved further away, her hands slipping out of Shepard’s hair. 

Shepard heart clenched with pain.

“I cannot do this,” Liara whispered, holding a hand over her mouth and closing her eyes. “I cannot do this.”

Shepard knew it was wrong of her. Yes, Shepard of all people knew. 

But if this was so wrong, why did it have to feel so fucking right?

“Liara..”

Liara opened her eyes, and one tear fell down her cheek. Shepard stopped herself from rushing forward to wipe it away.

“Please don’t. I-I need to be alone right now. I’m so sorry..” Liara stood up and turned around, and Shepard watched her wipe her tears with her hand.

All Shepard wanted to do was to push herself up against her back, put her arms around Liara and hold her. Tell her everything would be ok. Tell her she was sorry. Tell her whatever she needed to hear to stop the tears. 

Tell her the galaxy was so fucking unfair.

“I’ll take a walk. You can stay here.” Shepard said, before she stood up and started to walk for the door. Her legs felt so heavy, it was hard to move.

“What I felt in the meld-” Liara sniffled, and Shepard stopped, froze to the spot. “It was not all coming from you. I-I feel it to.”

Shepard slowly turned and looked at Liara, her blue eyes shining from the tears. 

"I just wanted you to know that.." 

Shepard's heart sunk deep into the pit of her stomach, and it hurt to look at her. Knowing Liara was going home to her girlfriend. Knowing someone else was going to touch her, kiss her and make love to her the way Shepard wanted to.

God knows she wanted to. And she had wanted those feelings to reach Liara in the meld.

Shepard didn’t know what to say anymore. “I’m going to check in with the pilot. See if we are en route.”

Liara stood back, arms around herself. “Will you come back later?” The question came out almost inaudible.

“Yeah.”

Shepard managed a small smile before turning around and exiting the cabin. She needed some space herself, to calm down and get her head straight. She slumped against the wall just outside the cabin when the door closed, as her legs didn't manage to carry her further. 

_ “Fuck”.  _ She grunted, closing her eyes. 

_ What the fuck was I thinking. _

But then Liara’s taste, lips and tongue came crashing back inside her mind, and she couldn't make herself regret it. She had been thinking about Liara like this for a long time, but it had become exceptionally worse after the meld. The way she had felt Liara inside her mind, almost like she was inside her body, slightly touching her very soul. Shepard wanted more of that. 

Liara was picking her to pieces and Shepard was unsure if she would survive it.

* * *

When Shepard returned back to the cabin an hour later she knocked and waited for an answer before stepping inside. She found Liara seated in the bed, she had changed into her pyjamas, and she was holding a book, obviously very into what she was reading as Shepard watched her eyes scrutinize the page. 

“You okay?” Shepard asked with caution.

Liara put the book down on the bed beside her. “Yes, I am.” She cast Shepard a smile.

“I talked to the pilot. We will be arriving at Serrice earlier than expected. We will dock tomorrow morning.”

“That is great, Shepard.”

Shepard went over to the bed and grabbed the spare pillow, tossed it over to the couch. “I'm crashing the couch. I don't think the bed will be big enough for both of us.” She smirked.

Liara looked at her in surprise. 

“And especially after that strawberry incident, I don't want to take any chances..”

The look Shepard sent Liara made the asari break out in laughter.

“So it was the strawberries fault that you kissed me?” One corner of Liaras mouth curled upwards.

“Yeah. And the chocolate.” 

Liara chuckled. “Of course. Blame it on the dessert.”

They both started to laugh, and Shepard was glad Liara had decided to play along with her. It released all of the tension in the room, making it easier for them both to breath. 

“Just turn around, I’m going to take my pants off..” Shepard teased, motioning with her hand to make Liara turn.

Liara grabbed her book again and opened it, staring intently at the page. Shepard watched her the whole time, as her blue eyes kept flickering to the side. 

Shepard removed her pants, and she laid one blanket over the leather couch, and grabbing another to pull over herself. She laid back and rested one hand under her head. 

She heard Liara close the book, and she turned off the bedside lamp, shifting in the bed. Shepard laid still, just listening to the small breathing sounds she made. 

"Goodnight, Jane. And thank you for the dessert. It was lovely."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Goodnight, Liara"

* * *

As much as Shepard tried she could not fall asleep. She grabbed the omnitool from the table and checked the time. Almost two hours had passed, and sleep were nowhere in sight. She put the omnitool down again and shifted on the couch, the leather screeching.

“Shepard?” Liara said in a low voice, almost a whisper.

“Yeah. Can't sleep?”

“No.”

Shepard sat up on the couch, dragging her hair away from her face, trying to see in the dark. As her eyes adjusted she could make out the shape of Liara on the bed, she was laying on her side, towards Shepard. 

“I can't either..” Shepard huffed. She looked at Liara, could see her more clearly now. She was holding her duvet up to her chin, her blue eyes wide open, staring straight at her. 

Shepard felt her stomach flutter. Her heart swell.

_ She’s so beautiful. _

Shepard sighed and threw herself back onto her pillow, she could forget about sleep. That was obviously not going to happen. So perhaps..

She sat up again.

“Wanna watch a movie? I hear the new Blasto is out..”

“Blasto, Shepard?” Liara frowned at her, in mockery.

“Yeah, come on. Everyone loves those movies! Don’t tell me you don't like them?”

Liara snorted. “I saw the first one, it didn't exactly leave me wanting to see any of the others..”

Shepard looked pleadingly at Liara.

“Fine.” Liara huffed, sitting up against the headboard. “But where are we going to watch it?”

“Right here.” Shepard grabbed her omnitool and tapped out on it, opening a hatch in the roof, a monitor coming down in front of the bed. 

“Ah, clever.” Liara scooted further over to the side. “I better make room for you then..”

The movie was not as good as Shepard had expected it to be. It had been running for almost one and a half hour, and Shepard knew it was at least thirty minutes left. 

She had hoped the movie would last several hours more.

Somewhere along the movie, Liara had scooted closer, she had even rested her head on Shepard’s shoulder. As the movie went on Liara had slid lower and lower, until she was lying with her head in Shepard’s lap, on top of the blanket Shepard had slipped over herself. She had curled up and fallen asleep, and Shepard didn't blame her, the movie was utterly trash. 

But Shepard wasn't looking at the movie any more.

She was watching as Liara’s body heaved up and down in slow steady rhythms, her breathing soft and quiet. She had one arm draped across Shepard’s lap, and Shepard had been brave, moved her hand towards Liara’s, and she had felt a rush through her body when Liara had threaded her fingers with hers. Shepard had dared to slide her other arm to rest at Liara’s shoulder, gently stroking her at her upper back. When Shepard didn't get any protests, she had grown bolder, letting her hand slide up to stroke along Liara’s crest. Slowly and gentle she had been caressing her until she had fallen asleep- without as much as a word spoken.

Shepard didn't want to move. She was afraid any small movement would wake Liara up and have her move away. She wasn't ready to give up this unexpected closeness just yet. She wanted to saviour every second of it. But she was starting to feel rather sleepy herself. It was like Liara was a soothing balm to her soul. Slowly Shepard started to slide down on the bed, careful to not make any sudden moves, but of course she wasn't going to be that lucky. Liara grunted, making shepard having to stifle a laugh, she had never heard a sound like that escaping those lips before. Then Liara turned, and settled on her other side, away from Shepard.

Shepard slid all the way down, rested her head on the pillow and was just about to be courageous again and scoot all the way up to Liara’s back, when Liara turned around, her eyes just barely open, looking straight at Shepard. Then she moved, put her head on Shepard’s chest and snaked her arm over her stomach, finding her hand again. Their fingers intertwining. Shepard let out a deep trembling breath. She was slightly shaking, but placing her free hand on Liara’s back, clutching her closer. Liara nuzzled into her chest, before her quiet steady breathing continued. Shepard closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side, the wonderful smell that was all Liara, hitting her nostrils. It filled her up, making her stomach flutter over and over, and she couldn't help it. She lowered her head and placed a kiss on top of her crest. Liara squeezed her hand in return.

_ I wish I wasn’t but… _

_ I think I’m falling in love with you. _

Shepard fell asleep with the unspoken words echoing inside her mind.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Conflicted

Liara started running as soon as she sat her foot outside the ship, when she saw Falere standing at the end of the walkway waiting for her. She threw herself into her arms and hugged her. Liara buried her face into Falere’s neck inhaling that sweet, familiar scent that had made her stomach flutter on so many occasions. Liara kissed her neck over and over, before she drew back and took her lips in a deep kiss, searching out what she had been missing. What she had craved for days, weeks and months. Liara’s hands went up to the nape of her neck and pulled Falere closer as their kiss deepened.

Liara wanted to lose herself in her girlfriend. She needed to forget everything that had happened these last months, needed something to take her mind off...

_ Goddess, Shepard! _

Liara pulled back, but Falere pulled her close again, smiling into her mouth. “If I had known you would be missing me this much, I would have come to Omega no matter what my boss said.”

Liara sighed, and couldn’t help but smile back, her eyes closing as Falere closed the small gap between them and kissed her again.

“I missed you so much.”

Liara opened her eyes to find Falere staring at her. “I missed you too...”

“So,” Falere said, glancing over Liara’s shoulder, “is that the mysterious Shepard I have heard so much about?”

Liara turned around abruptly and locked onto the green eyes staring at them from the ship’s entrance. Shepard was leaning against the wall holding Liara’s bag over her shoulder.

“Y-Yes,” Liara stuttered before she shook herself to gain some composure.

“I can certainly see what Shiala was talking about...” Falere said leaning up into Liara’s back, her arms around Liara’s waist kissing her neck once.

Liara froze as she saw how Shepard’s face twitched, the way her eyes tried to look away but couldn't.

“Let me go get my bag and say goodbye,” Liara said, before removing herself from her girlfriend’s embrace. She probably should have introduced Falere and Shepard, but she couldn't find the strength in herself to do that right now. 

Not after what had happened last night.

_ When Liara had woken up this morning her heart had instantly swelled up. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know where she was. She felt the strong arms holding her, one under her head and one draped over her stomach, her own hand nestled inside Shepard’s. She felt the strong body pressed up against her, Shepard’s chest moving slowly against her back. Her breath tickling the top of her crest. _

_ Liara slowly opened her eyes and, the first thing she noticed was how perfectly her hand fitted inside Shepard’s. She nuzzled herself back further into Shepard’s body, careful not to wake her, but craving even more proximity. She felt the arm around her stomach pull her in tighter, and she wondered if Shepard was awake too. She figured she wasn't, her breathing was too calm, so she did not speak. She opened her eyes wider and stared out through the window into the black galaxy, the stars shining in their glory as she found herself wishing every morning could be just like this. _

_ Goddess, this was everything she wanted. _

Liara took a deep breath as she walked up towards Shepard who was still leaning up against the wall, her eyes now down at her feet.

“So, I guess that’s your girlfriend...” Shepard spoke into the ground.

Liara turned around looking at Falere. “Yes.”

“She’s cute,” Shepard looked up and smiled, and Liara could see how she struggled to keep up appearance.

Before Liara managed to think about what she was saying, she blurted out, “why don’t you come with me? You don’t have to fly back straight away, do you? I mean, wouldn’t it be good to relax here before you fly back? I have a guest bedroom you could use...”

Shepard shook her head slowly, her smile vanishing as her eyes dropped to her feet again. “No. I can’t.”

“Are you sure? It would not be a problem. I could show you around-”

Shepard took one step closer and put Liara’s bag down in front of her before she looked up into her eyes. The way Shepard’s eyes bore into hers made Liara feel uncomfortable, making her chest hurt and heart clench. She watched as tears were starting to form, tears that Shepard desperately tried to suppress.

“I _ can’t, _Liara.”

And at that moment Liara understood exactly what she meant. Her heart broke as Shepard turned around, walking slowly back into the ship, dragging her legs with her. When the door closed behind her, Liara felt a sob threatening to escape her. She pushed it back down and pressed her eyes shut, not allowing her tears to show. If she let them fall down she didn't know if she would be able to stop.

She had to keep it together for Falere.

She grabbed her bag and turned around to see her girlfriend coming towards her. Liara prayed she wouldn’t look at her too closely, she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to hide it all. But Falere only threw one arm around her shoulder and led her away from the ship. 

“Your place or mine?” Falere asked.

“Yours.”

* * *

As soon as they stepped inside the apartment Falere was pushing Liara up against the wall, kissing her hard. Her hands went straight under her shirt to cup her breasts over her bra. Liara moved her hands up Falere’s arms and towards the back of her neck pulling her closer while she returned the heated kiss.

“Goddess, I want you,” Falere breathed as she released Liara’s lips.

Liara cupped her face and looked straight into her eyes, “Then take me.”

Falere growled and pulled away, dragging Liara with her into the bedroom and pushed her down onto the bed. Falere pulled down the zipper on her dress, and in seconds she was standing naked in front of the bed. Liara sat up and started to work on her blouse, the buttons taking too long to undo, so she just flashed her biotics and ripped it apart. Liara pulled it off herself as Falere crawled over her and pressed her down onto the bed. They kissed again, and Liara pushed her tongue into Falere’s mouth, closing her eyes as she felt Falere’s hand work on her bra, successfully removing it and throwing it away. Falere pulled back, and Liara gasped at the sudden loss of contact. Liara watched as Falere reached for the zipper on her pants, pulling it down slowly before she grabbed the hem and pulled them off, taking her underwear with it. 

Liara spread her legs while staring needily at Falere. Her breathing grew heavier, as she watched her girlfriend take in the sight of her. The hunger in her eyes made Liara blush and burn with lust at the same time.

“You’re already so wet...”

“Please. I need you...”

Falere crawled further onto the bed and settled between Liara’s thighs, and Liara bucked up against her, smearing her wetness over her stomach. She was so desperate for any kind of contact now, for any little friction, any purchase she could find. Liara grinded up again and again while moans escaped her mouth. She needed Falere to fuck her. To make her forget. Goddess, she needed to forget.

Falere seemed to understand exactly what she needed as she skipped all the usual teasing and pushed her hand down between their bodies, cupping between Liara’s legs. Liara moaned loudly when she felt fingers slide through her azure, and she bucked her hips against her palm needing more contact. Falere kissed down her neckline over her collarbone and towards one breast and took the nipple inside her mouth, sucking it while she used two fingers to enter Liara. Liara screamed as she did, her hands running along Falere’s back and onto her crest, pushing her harder against her chest. It didn’t take long before Liara was hovering over the edge. She closed her eyes, trying to hold out longer, as Falere was thrusting in and out of her with perfect precision. She didn't want this to end, she needed to forget for a little while longer.

But when she opened her eyes and locked with Falere’s already fully black, Liara froze.

Liara quickly closed her eyes again, trying to come up with something. She couldn’t meld with Falere now. Her mind was a chaos of emotions, and Falere would see that something was wrong. Falere would see... Liara could seal off parts of her mind but her girlfriend was bound to ask why she put up those walls. Goddess, she would surely pick up on those buried feelings that were crawling towards the surface. 

_ No no no. _

As Falere continued to thrust inside her, Liara felt the pounding and buzzing inside her head growing harder and louder. The need to meld was overtaking her. Then she felt the familiar tingle in the back of her head, felt Falere’s mind brushing against hers asking for entry. In sheer panic, Liara drew away. She shut her mind off.

She felt Falere’s fingers stop moving.

"What’s wrong, Liara?" She looked at her worryingly, and Liara wanted to disappear into the void.

"Nothing. I- I..." Liara stammered, feeling her pulse starting to increase rapidly. Suddenly, she felt an urgent need for air and space. She pushed Falere off herself and turned over in the bed. She tried to suppress the tears from forming in her eyes, but a low sob gave her away. 

She had failed Falere. And she had failed Shepard. She had hurt them both, and Liara hated herself for it.

"Liara?" Falere whispered and crept up behind her, closing her arms around her and holding her. “Honey, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Her mind couldn’t focus on Falere’s voice, and all Liara could think about was that the color of the arms holding her was all wrong. The body pressed up against her didn't feel right anymore. She wanted those strong pale hands holding her own. She missed the tickling sensation of that red hair against her crest.

She wanted Jane.

She let out a broken sob again, but she turned around and pressed herself up against Falere’s body. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. There was no holding back anymore.

"I’m so sorry," she whispered when the worst of the crying had subsided, and she started to feel like she could breathe again.

Falere cupped her face and forced Liara to look at her. "Hey. What's wrong? Did I do anything wrong, or-"

"No. It’s not your fault I- I’m just so happy to be back home. I’m so sorry I ruined our reunion."

"Don't apologize for that. I’m just glad you're here with me again, Liara. I really have missed you." Falere leaned in and kissed her softly.

When their lips parted Liara let out a deep breath, releasing a lot of her tension."It was just too much. I guess I got overwhelmed by it all. I’m sorry."

Liara’s pulse started to come back down again, and she nuzzled closer into Falere’s body. She tried to think of the time before she had left for Omega, the last time they had made love in this bed, over and over again that last night before she had to leave. It had been wonderful, and some of Liara’s arousal reappeared just thinking of it.

She wanted to find back to those feelings, so she gathered everything about Shepard and pushed it into the furthest corner of her mind, putting up an impregnable wall around it, praying Falere wouldn’t notice that she had sealed parts of her mind off. She hoped that all of her meld-training had made her strong enough to hide away what she didn't want to show.

She brought her hands up Falere's neck just below the tip of her crest and pulled her in once more. Liara's lips came crashing down on Falere's who was surprised by the sudden eagerness of her girlfriend. She didn't mind it though as she returned the kiss with just as much fervor.

Liara knew her girlfriend’s sensitive dips like the back of her hand. As she ran her fingers through them Falere's reaction was immediate. She opened her mouth and let out a quiet whimper. She couldn't let out more as Liara silenced her with another kiss. She ran her tongue across Falere's bottom lip, begging for entrance. She urged Falere on, lightly scratching with fingernails on the tip of her crest. This gave Liara the reaction she wished for and searched out Falere's tongue with her own. A burning sensation spread its way through Falere’s body. From the top of her head to her toes, settling somewhere in her lower abdomen. But tonight, she knew that Liara should be the one getting spoiled. Not her. To get Liara to back down she ran her hands from her neck down over her shoulder blades, running her fingers over the familiar landscape. Liara has always had sensitive skin and Falere's touch was getting to her. The kiss broke, and this gave Falere all the freedom she needed. In a flash of blue she threw Liara under her once more. Her eyes had a glint of surprise in them.

"Did I hurt you honey?" Falere asked with worry in her voice.

Liara shook her head and smiled upon her partner. Falere's shoulders relaxed, and she gently let herself down on Liara's chest and laid kisses upon the edge of her lips. They were getting more restless and aggressive, even using teasingly light bites along her neck and collarbone. Liara's breath was catching up with her rapidly increasing heartbeat.

Her hips were pushing up against Falere's stomach, but Falere quickly put a hand on her, pushing it back down. With an almost animalistic look in her eyes she stared back in those deep blue eyes.

"Not yet darling. I will indulge you soon. Promise." 

Liara struggled to control herself.

Falere ran her other hand down Liara's right shoulder and arm, tracing her soft scales and drawing circles in her palm before intertwining their fingers. This seemed to calm Liara down a bit, as she could remove her right hand from her hip and move it up her sides, settling on the side of her breast. Falere’s mouth, unoccupied for the last few moments, wandered down her girlfriend’s shoulder, leaving wet kisses along her path. She put her mouth over her nipple, running the flat of her tongue over it. Liara's free hand grabbed the back of Falere's head, pulling her even closer.

"Please, Falere. I need this…" Liara's voice had a shaking underlying tone, and Falere was unsure where it was coming from. She felt the familiar tickle in the back of her head, but Falere had to hold off her desire to meld for now, for Liara's sake. Whatever her girlfriend was going through, Falere would be able to uncover it later.

By the sound of her breathing and moans, she shouldn't tease Liara any longer. She removed her right hand from her nipple and moved it straight past her navel, massaging the skin there. The loss of contact made Liara's body writhing for more. Falere moved her mouth back up and gave her a last close mouthed kiss before finally moving lower.

Before Falere reached her target, she rested her slightly darker blue cheek against Liara's thigh and stared into her eyes.

"Let me do this for you," she purred, her eyes burning with lust.

Liara relaxed back into the pillow and closed her eyes, spreading her legs wider in a silent invitation to let Falere do her handiwork. A moan escaped her throat as Falere's skilled tongue licked torturously slow through her azure. She tried to buck up against the warm mouth, but Falere pushed her hip down again as she drew wet circles on her clit and let a finger sink inside her. Liara's moans got replaced by high pitched screams, not caring if the neighbors heard her.

Her hand never left the back of Falere's head and Liara pushed her even harder against herself.

The pressure inside Falere's head grew too strong. She craved the meld. Liara felt the pressure against her consciousness and believed that her defenses could withstand the storm of emotions. She _had_ to believe that.

She was no stranger to Falere's mental landscape and welcomed her inside. Her girlfriend’s reassuring mind reached out to her own, enveloping Liara in such a familiar and calming way. She felt the power of Falere's love pouring into her, the unconditional acceptance. She missed this feeling but somehow she couldn't help herself but to feel emptier than usual. 

As Falere added a second finger and bent them in such a delicate way, Liara suddenly became aware of the physical world again. She felt as though her core was on fire. She dug her nails into Falere's skin drawing a bit of blood. But even now she couldn't seem to care about it. All she needed was an outlet. Something to keep her mind occupied. Falere knew what she needed without a single thought.

She redoubled her efforts and took her clit into her mouth. Liara's response made Falere chuckle, the low vibration reverbing through her body made Liara shiver. She clutch onto Falere's mind dragging her along to the edge. 

"Falere, harder… I- I need this." 

She sped up her trusts, ignoring the sore in her arm.

Falere felt fingernails digging into the back of her still intertwined hand and Liara's inner muscles clenching, almost pushing her out. Liara arched her back off the bed and pulled Falere with her into her orgasm. The physical and mental sensations were almost too much for both of them. The lust, need, longing, fire and love were flooding their minds. Those same familiar feelings she always felt when they had sex. Liara returned them in full strength.

Falere slowly decreased her speed to draw out their orgasm. As Liara's back finally slumped back into the mattress she withdrew her fingers entirely only to put them in her mouth to relish the familiar taste.

"Goddess, I really needed that..." Liara looked up from the pillow, watching as Falere wiped her mouth on her inner thigh before crawling up her body, her lips in a wide grin. They kissed again and Liara moaned when she tasted herself on her girlfriend’s lips.

"Mmm, I really missed that. You taste so wonderful," Falere hummed into her mouth.

Liara opened her eyes and with a flash of blue, she reversed their positions and pushed herself in between Falere’s legs. 

"Now it’s my turn. It’s been far too long..."

Falere chuckled and spread her legs, while Liara kissed her way down to that familiar taste and scent she loved. This was exactly what she needed. And she was going to take her time savoring it.

* * *

Liara felt a lot better when she entered her apartment the next day. She had spent all of yesterday at Falere’s, most of it in bed as they had made up for the lost time. With each kiss and each touch, Liara had felt the tension and hurt inside her ease up, and she started to wonder if this was all she needed. Just to reconnect with her girlfriend, who she hadn't seen in almost three months.

She placed her bag on her bed and took a walk around her apartment, everything was like she had left it. Liara felt like she could breathe again, her chest felt lighter. She opened the fridge to pick out a bottle of her favorite white wine. She poured herself a glass and took a large sip, letting it soothe her further and closing her eyes as it slid down her throat.

Maybe she could do this after all. Maybe it was as she had thought that it would help to come home, to see Falere. She had six months left of her work on Omega before she was returning home for good. She would never have to go back there again. 

But that meant she would never see Shepard again.

Liara had to put a hand over her heart as it clenched in physical pain. 

Who was she kidding? She wasn't okay. Nothing was fine. And although it may have helped to be with Falere, to take her mind off things, Shepard had been there. In the back of her mind all the time. Every second of every minute. Hidden, but still there.

Liara inhaled sharply and let out a broken sob. She put her wine down and pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers. She wasn't going to start crying again. She had already made a fool of herself in front of Falere.

And Liara had been lying to her. To her wonderful girlfriend who had done nothing wrong. Falere who had been missing her and loving her, waiting for her while she was off _ wanting _someone else. Maybe even doing something so stupid as to fall in lo-

Liara stopped her train of thought straight away. She couldn't continue on like this. She had to make a choice, and she had to stand by it. Although it would break her heart either way. And someone else's.

She opened her omnitool and tapped out a new message.

[ Hi father. I just got back from Omega. Staying for a week. Are you home later? 

I really need to see you. Liara. ]

She pressed send, and after just a couple of minutes she received a message back from Aethyta. Although as weird as it seemed she was really hoping her father could help her in this predicament. 

_ Goddess, I hope she can. _

* * *

"It's about Falere, isn't it?" Aethyta said while she opened the cap on the bottle of Ryncol before pouring it into two glasses.

Liara's eyes widened, "how did you know-"

"Kid, I'm a thousand years old. I’ve been around. I’ve known about your girlfriend for quite some time now." Aethyta brought the glass to her mouth and drank, while Liara did the same. "But what I don't understand is why you didn't tell me?"

"I..." Liara frowned, "I was afraid you would scare her away. You know..." 

Aethyta laughed, "I would have, wouldn't I."

Liara let out a heavy breath.

"So," Aethyta patted the couch beside her, "what is the problem? Is she bad in bed?"

Liara sighed and sat down beside her dad. She knew where this was going. "No, she is not bad in bed or anywhere else. She is perfect actually. In every single way..."

"Ah, then what is the problem?"

Liara decided that if she was going to ask for her father's advice, she better just spill it all out. "I met someone else... on Omega."

The noise coming from Aethyta as she burst out in laughter, made Liara cringe.

"What!?" Aethyta slammed her glass down so hard on the table, Liara was afraid it was going to shatter.

"Are you telling me my prude, shy, nerdy daughter has taken a lover on Omega?" Aethyta barked out, and she looked way too pleased with this.

"This is not funny in any way, father. And no, Shepard is not my lover."

"Shepard. What kind of name is that?" 

Liara frowned at her father, “What do you mean ‘what kind of name’?”

Aethyta just shrugged her shoulders, “It just sounds weird…”

"That's beside the point anyway." Liara shook her head. Why had she been thinking this would be a good idea.

"So, have you fucked her yet?" Aethyta drawled.

"Father! Please, will you just listen to me for once?"

Aethyta sighed, "Alright. So, tell me about this Shepard."

“She is kind, funny and-”

“Strong, sexy and makes you want to jump her every time you lay your eyes on her?” Aethyta interrupted. “Shiala showed me some pictures...”

_ Of course she did... _

Liara made a mental note of telling Shiala exactly what she thought about this when she met her for dinner later.

Aethyta continued, “I would have added dangerous too. If it’s true she works for Aria T’Loak, the pirate queen?”

“I see you have been very well informed by Shiala, so I guess this conversation is unnecessary.”

Aethyta laughed, “I would never have guessed you would get a kick out of someone like that.”

Liara looked angrily at her father and responded with a hint of fury in her voice, “someone like that?! You don’t know her.”

“And you do? Shady people like her always hide who they really are.”

Now Liara felt her insides boiling.She was not going to let her father speak about Shepard like this. “If you don’t have anything else to say than to talk badly about her, I want you to stop talking. Shepard is neither dangerous nor hiding anything from me. I have never felt safer than when I’m with her.”

“Who are you kidding, kid? Of course she is dangerous. Hell, if she is as close to Aria as Shiala told me, she must be good. And by good I mean deadly.”

“We don't talk a lot about what she does...”

“Yeah, because if she told you even half about what she does and what she has done, you would probably run away screaming. And I bet she knows that.”

“Shepard doesn't lie to me. She is a wonderful woman who cares deeply about the people around her. Maybe even a little too much sometimes.”

Aethyta took another sip of her drink. “So, you really like her, huh?”

Liara folded her hands together in her lap. “Yes.”

“And this Falere, does she treat you well? Is she kind, supportive and loving?" 

"Yes. She is all those things..."

Aethyta narrowed her eyes, "but?"

"But she is not-" Liara stopped herself, her eyes darting down into her lap. Her fingers twiddling.

"She is not?"

Liara let out a heavy breath.

"She is not Shepard.”

"Ah. I think I know where you are going with this..."

"You do?"

"Liara, I have been where you are. Although I always loved your mother I can't lie and say I’ve never got a little infatuated by others. It's perfectly normal, and you have been spending all that time alone over there. Of course you would start to feel some attraction or a simple crush with that human as your only company."

"No." Liara shook her head and looked back up at her father. "I think I have fallen in love with her. And I can't believe I have let it get this far... We don't really have anything in common." 

"But you’re sure you love her? It’s not just a crush?"

"I’m not sure of anything right now. But I do know that what I feel is not some simple crush."

Aethyta swallowed down the rest of her Ryncol. "I think we need some more," she croaked while pouring herself a new one and topped off Liara’s glass.

"I don't know what to do, father."

"Well, the only solution I can think of is that you need to make a choice. And you need to stick with it, no matter what. Just like I always stuck around your mother, although I had all kinds of women throwing themselves at me," Aethyta smirked.

When Liara didn't answer Aethyta continued, "how old is this Shepard?"

"I don't know what that has to do with any of this-" Suddenly realization dawned on her. Liara had never thought about it before, she had been so all consumed with Shepard that she had never even thought about the fact that she would outlive her. Probably by a thousand years or more. How could she possibly choose a future with someone who she would lose again so quickly? And with Shepard’s reckless way of living they could be looking at even less time together.

"You will probably have what? 70 to 80 years together, given she even lives that long. Not that there's anything wrong with that. A lot of asari bond with humans..."

“Bond?” Liara was taken aback by the sudden seriousness of their conversation.

Aethyta looked at her, “Yeah, I know you would never do something half assed. If you decide to go for something, you always give it all. You always have.”

“I-” Liara stopped to think about it. She had never even thought about bonding. And everything that came with it. Children, a house, a family of her own. Where would they settle down? Omega? Liara knew Shepard would never leave Aria behind. And Liara would never demand that she did. And Shepard didn’t want any children. She had been very clear about that.

"No, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking." Liara looked down into her lap again, and this time Aethyta put her hand over hers.

"Whatever you decide, kid. Just do what feels right to you. This is _ your _ life, and only you can decide how to live it."

Liara looked up at her father and smiled, tears forming in her eyes. "Thank you for listening."

"Eh, like I have anything better to do," Aethyta winked at her daughter, “you know I love you Liara, and I will support you in whatever you decide. I promised your mother that no matter what happened, I would always take care of her little wing.”

* * *

Liara had spent the last three days with Falere, and she started to feel like her old self again. She had gone back to the university to discuss her current work with some of her co-workers, before she went to visit her class. She found that she really missed her work, her friends and that she was really looking forward to returning. 

And Shepard had been almost non-existent in her mind. 

But tonight Falere was busy, so Liara had to spend the night alone. And she dreaded it. Because she knew. Oh, Liara knew where her mind would wander if left without anything or anyone to occupy her. 

Around 22.00 her mind started to slowly wander off in the direction she had tried so hard to deny it. She was sitting in her bed with a book, she had been reading for hours and suddenly those green eyes and red hair crept up on her. She closed her eyes and tried her best to will the thought away but to no avail. So Liara closed her book, turned off the bedside lamp and pulled the duvet over her body. She lay there in the dark trying her best to think about something else, anything except Shepard.

She opened her omnitool and clicked on the message icon. 

[ Hi. ]

She put it down and waited, waited and waited before it beeped.

[ Hi. What are you doing? ]

[ Nothing.. Trying to sleep. ]

[ Since you are texting me you probably can't, am I right? ]

[ Yes. ]

[ Wanna talk about it? I’m alone, so you can holo if you want.]

Liara felt her heart starting to pound in her chest, her breath increasing. Still, she pressed the holo-call button and placed the omni-tool on her nightstand, directed at herself.

In just a few seconds an almost life-size holo of Shepard appeared in front of her. And straight away it startled her. It was almost like Shepard was lying here next to her, propped up on her arm, her hair falling down onto what Liara guessed was her pillow.

“Hi,” Liara whispered, and she watched as Shepard’s face turned into a full-on grin.

“Hi yourself.”

That perfect voice filled her up and made her stomach flutter like it always did.

“So, how is it to be back?”

“It’s nice.”

Shepard snorted, “nice? It sure looked like it was more than nice when I dropped you off-”

Shepard’s voice wasn't unpleasant, but somehow the words stung Liara’s core. Shepard must have seen it on her face, as she hurried to correct herself.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that... What I meant was-”

Liara waved a hand at her. “It’s fine. What have you been up to?”

“Well,” Shepard picked up her omnitool and showed Liara the room she was in and she gasped when she understood where she was.

“Are you in a hospital, Shepard?”

“Yeah, been here for two days now. I’m kinda bored...”

“What happened?”

“Someone tried to take me down when I returned from Thessia.”

Liara shook her head and looked worryingly at Shepard. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I was shot in the leg, but the bullet went straight through, and Sheerk got me out of there real quick, so I didn't lose that much blood. I'll be up and about in a day or two..."

"Shepard..." 

"Liara...”

Liara stifled a smile for the effect, “you are impossible sometimes.”

“I know.” Shepard smiled, “but that's why you like me so much, right?"

Liara giggled.

“Ok, since none of us can seem to sleep, let’s play a game. We ask each other questions and we have to answer them."

Liara raised her eyebrow, "is that a real game, Shepard?"

"Yeah, but usually we have to be in the same room and spin a bottle..."

Liara looked at her confused, and Shepard started to chuckle.

"Just humor me, okay?"

"Ok."

"I'll start... Favorite color?"

Liara thought about it for a second. "Green, or maybe white."

"Ah, you have to choose one."

"Green. Your favorite color?"

Shepard continued smiling, "that's easy. Blue."

"Somehow I knew you would say that..." Liara teased, unable to stop grinning.

"Ok, favorite food?"

"It must be what my mother used to cook for me. We usually had people to prepare food for us, but sometimes I found my mother in the kitchen, and she always made the same thing. It's a Thessian seafood dish, I think it relates to what you call Ceviche?"

"You know what that is?" Shepard looked utterly amazed.

"Yes, I had it once."

Shepard smiled, “then I will make Ceviche for you when you get back.”

_ She is so wonderful... _

Liara smirked, “you or Nyxeris?”

“Haha, your turn,” Shepard laughed.

"Favorite dessert?" Liara asked, although she already knew.

"Ah, you know that one. Strawberries and-"

"Chocolate," Liara finished, "it's mine as well."

She watched as Shepard ran her hand along her face to brush away the hair that had fallen down over it, covering her eyes. She felt an incredible urge to remove it herself, but she would only embarrass herself if she reached out for something that wasn't real.

"How did you get that scar?" Liara asked, trying to think about something else than Shepard’s hair and how it had felt between her fingers.

"This?" Shepard pointed to the scar running through her left eyebrow, "I got it when I was a kid. Me and my little brother were playing outside, our father had just shown us an old earthen movie about knights."

As soon as Liara heard 'old earthen' her interest piqued. "Knights?"

"Yeah, a knight in the olden days was a man, usually a warrior that was granted the title of Knighthood. It was a very honorable title to be given, and usually it was a monarch or someone else high standing that gave them out to men that did something heroic."

"So, since you saved my life once, if we lived in the olden days you would be my knight?" Liara blurted before she could stop herself. She flushed purple instantly and wondered if Shepard wound notice over the holo.

"Eh, yeah something like that..." 

Liara hurried to change the subject. "You had a little brother?" 

"Yes, his name was John. He was two years younger than me. Anyway, we were fighting with sticks, pretending it to be swords that knights always used, and I was a little off my game and John hit me straight over the eye. Split my brow open. I remember my mother running hysterically towards us when she saw me, my whole face was covered in blood."

Shepard started to laugh, and Liara joined in, enjoying the small tidbits she got from Shepard’s childhood. Although how sad it may have ended, it seemed like she had a good and loving home.

_ She would be a perfect parent, no matter what she thinks of herself. _

"So, that’s how I got my scar."

"It seems you never did outgrow your ability to get injured." 

Shepard chuckled, “I guess I didn’t... Anyway, not that I am complaining you texted me, but was there anything in particular you wanted or-"

Liara swallowed down the lump forming in her throat. "I have been thinking about you..." she whispered.

"Yeah?" Shepard sounded confident but her eyes gave her away.

"I need to see you when I get back. There is something we need to talk about." 

"Oh. That sounds serious."

"It is."

Liara wanted to reach out, she wanted to touch Shepard’s face. Feel her warm skin against her hand and feel her soft hair in between her fingers. 

The way Shepard’s eyes bore into hers, it left her feeling so exposed, so raw... 

"Liara..."

Liara forced a yawn and told Shepard she had to go. She felt the sudden panic rise inside her again, the same she had felt with Falere days before. She asked Shepard to update her on her leg, and as soon as they had said their goodbyes Liara turned off her omnitool and turned over on her side. She curled into herself and she let the tears fall from her eyes. She knew the choice she had to make, but it just left her hollow inside. Like she was giving up a part of herself. 

But she had to do this if she was going to be able to live with herself.

  



	12. Fools

Shepard threw herself down behind the low cracked wall, while the bullets flew over her head. She reloaded her gun before quickly craning her neck to look over the top, trying to get some kind of overview of the situation. 

"Fuck," she grunted as a bullet barely grazed her head, the sound of it rang in her ear. She pulled her head back down as quickly as she could, sliding back down onto the floor, lying with her back against the cracked wall.

She tapped her earpiece, "where the fuck are you, Wrex? I need some cover fire here!"

The shots continued to fly over her head as she clutched her leg, the sudden pain shooting through her. It had probably been way too early to get back into this kind of action. Her doctor had told her to take it slow for at least a week. Shepard thought 2 days would have to suffice. After all, she had a job to do.

"We’re on our way, Shepard. Just hang on..." Wrex's voice frizzled out over the comm.

“Yeah, I’m trying my best! Just get your asses over here asap!”

_ Why the fuck did I think it was a good idea to go in alone? _

Shepard tapped her earpiece again, "Bray, tell Aria to get a hold of Jaroth, he needs to get his fucking Eclipse under control. It's a war zone here!" 

"Aria knows, she is on her way over there now," Bray answered, "and don't worry. We have her covered."

“Good. I’ll deal with this fucking mess.”

Shepard listened as the gunshots seemed to seize, and a sudden silence filled the room. She heard footsteps approaching her slowly, boots clattering against the floor.

_ Fuck, I need to move. _

Shepard started to crawl along the low wall until she reached an opening.She sat up with her back against it, her sidearm ready before she peeked out from the side and fired two shots straight into an Eclipse soldier just a few feet away from her. She quickly hid again, reloading and repeating the motion. This time she managed to get two soldiers down before the bullets started to fly towards her again. She could hear the wall she covered behind was starting to give in, as shots tore it further apart. She got up on crouched legs and threw herself past the opening, finding cover behind a concrete wall on the other side. She screamed in pain as the leap tore the stitches in her leg open, and she clutched it again, before using her hand to tear through the fabric of her pants. She grabbed a tube of medigel from her pocket and smeared it onto her wound, hoping it would dampen some of the pain while she focused on getting out of here alive.

_ Even if I survive this, I won't stay alive for long. My doctor is going to kill me for this... _

After a few minutes, the pain started to subside, and she managed to get up on her feet and walked slowly along the wall, switching out her sidearm with the shotgun on her back and loaded it with incendiary rounds. 

"This will shut you fuckers up," she muttered under her heavy breath. She ran a gloved hand through her hair to remove the strands from her face, and she remembered the time she used to wear a helmet. It was rather practical, as it always kept her hair in place, and it certainly protected her better from bullets gracing her head, but still… A good commando armor had become Shepard’s preferred attire. She was more flexible and agile. 

Yet she still kept her N7 armor from her days with the Alliance as a memento. 

Shepard took two deep breaths before she peeked around the corner, taking notice of four heavy armored Eclipse soldiers searching for her. She took another deep breath and stepped out around the wall and placed a shot straight into the closest soldier's chest. He screamed in agony as he burned, and Shepard flashed blue and charged straight into the three confused soldiers just a few feet behind him. As soon as they were knocked off their feet, she quickly shot each and everyone of them, perfect headshots, killing them instantly. It was messy but very practical.

Shepard stood still for a few seconds, covered in blood, trying to regain her breath. She tapped her earpiece again, “Wrex! Status?”

“We’ve got you covered, just hold on a few more minutes.” 

“Covered? It seems to me that I’m all by myself here!”

Suddenly, the sound of running footsteps coming towards her, made Shepard turn around, and she threw herself down behind some crates. It was the closest cover she could find, and she would be safe here as long as no one saw her. The crates would not stop the bullets.

_ Get a fucking move on, Wrex! _

Shepard trusted her old friend like no one else, but sometimes his timing could prove better. She held her breath as she heard the footsteps getting closer and closer, and she knew that if she was caught here, she would be dead on the spot. 

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck! _

Still, she was not going down without a fight, she pressed her shotgun to her chest, and readied herself to start shooting. She at least had three rounds to do some damage before she would have to reload. She could take three more eclipse scum down with her. 

“We have lost visual of Shepard,” someone said from just behind her, and Shepard continued to keep as still as she could.

She heard someone, what she thought was a woman's voice over the soldiers' comm, but she couldn't make out what she said. 

"Surprise fuckers!" Wrex suddenly barked, his voice echoing around the large room. Shepard peeked out over the crate watching as Wrex, Grizz and several of Aria’s mercs came from the other end of the room, completely taking the Eclipse soldiers sneaking up on Shepard by surprise. After a few seconds of gunshots being fired, the last standing Eclipse soldier slumped to the ground.

Shepard stepped forward towards Wrex and Grizz.

“Surprise fuckers? What have I told you about watching those human action movies, Wrex?”

Wrex laughed as he put his shotgun aside.

Shepard looked annoyingly at him, "and you sure took your fucking time!”

"Calm down, Shepard. We saved your ass didn't we?" Wrex bellowed, patting Shepard so hard on her back it almost knocked all of the air out of her lungs.

"Yeah, yeah. Like always," Shepard smirked. "What's the status, Grizz?"

"We searched the only remaining room left before we reached you, and we found this." He pulled out an envelope and placed it in Shepard’s hand. 

"What's this?" she asked while opening it. "Hmm..." The envelope contained several pictures, pictures of Shepard in different locations all around Omega.

“Someone sure is interested in your movements,” Grizz said.

Shepard didn't answer him as she continued to quickly skim through the pictures before she suddenly stopped. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched a picture of Liara. It was zoomed in on her, taken through the windows of her apartment.

Shepard felt her pulse increase as her rage started to push to the surface. This was not ok. She didn’t care if someone was following her, taking pictures of her. Let them. She would be able to deal with it anyway.

But that someone had the nerve to stalk Liara...

"Take me to Jaroth," Shepard demanded, putting the pictures down into the envelope again.

"But boss, shouldn't we-"

"Now, Grizz!"

* * *

Shepard walked briskly past the young Asari assistant outside Jaroth’s office. 

"Miss, Mr. Jaroth is busy, you cannot-"

"Watch me," Shepard said dryly as she pushed past the gaping assistant and slammed her hand on the pressure pad, opening the door to the salarian’s office. She walked straight inside not even bothering to cast Aria a look from her seat opposite of Jaroth’s desk.

“Well, you sure look like a fucking mess, Shepard. You could have taken the time to grab a shower before you decided to grace us with your presence,” Aria quipped.

"What the fuck is this?" Shepard barked, totally ignoring Aria as she slammed the picture of Liara down in front of Jaroth on his desk. The sound clattered along the walls. "You tell me right now, or I swear I will not hesitate to strangle you myself!"

"Shepard..." Aria got up from the chair to stand beside her, "calm down."

"Calm down? Why the fuck is someone taking pictures of Liara?!"

Jaroth spoke before Aria could, "someone is causing trouble from inside our faction." He got up from his seat behind his desk and leaned over it, looking at the picture. 

"And why don't you deal with it? It’s your job to keep the Eclipse in fucking check, Jaroth. I put you in this position and you better start to fucking repay me!"

"Someone is out for us, Shepard. It’s hardly news. There have been rumors going around that someone inside the Eclipse is out to overthrow me. They are going rouge, and possibly teaming up with mercs from the other factions as well." Aria perched against the desk, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued, "I find it quite hilarious, to be honest. That they even think they have a chance at-”

Shepard scowled at her, “tell me what you find so fucking hilarious about this-” she pointed to the picture of Liara lying on the table, “because I sure can’t see it Aria!”

“You know what that is, Shepard. You’ve been in this game long enough to know this is blackmail and pressure material, something to try to break us with. And right now you are letting them do just that!” Aria pushed away from the desk and stepped up into Shepard’s face. “I need you to calm the fuck down and collect yourself. If not, you are out. You hear me?!”

“Like you would fucking dare,” Shepard spat at her, her eyes challenging Aria.

“Oh, I would. I am still the boss here, Shepard. No matter what you might believe!” Aria tossed in her face. “And you better do as I tell you to!”

“Fuck!” Shepard grunted, turning around and walking towards the window. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself, she knew this was just what the people behind this wanted. And although Aria was a smug asshole sometimes, she was right about this. Shepard knew that. The people responsible for this wanted to coax a response, for Shepard to snap. People were more prone to make mistakes if they acted out of rage, and she knew that. But when these dangerous people started to take pictures of Liara... She was not going to let her be caught in the middle of this.

Not again.

“I need to go to her apartment,” Shepard said after she had managed to calm herself down.

“I’ll come with you,” Aria responded. “Jaroth, I agree with Shepard on this. You better deal with this mess, or our deal is off. And let me perfectly clear, you don’t want to be on my list of enemies.”

Jaroth sighed, “of course, Aria. I will find the ones responsible for this.”

“And bring them to me when you do. Tell them their Queen wants a word.”

* * *

Shepard and Aria spent the rest of the day searching through Liara’s apartment, and although Shepard hated to intrude on Liara’s personal space like this, she found it very much necessary to ensure her safety. She had even arranged for the windows to be changed into bulletproof ones before she got back, after Aria convinced her that moving her to another apartment wouldn't help one bit. If anyone was out for her, where she lived wouldn’t matter. Now it was all about taking security measurements to prevent anything from happening to her.

The thought made Shepard’s whole body shiver.

She made a promise to herself and Liara, that she would not let anyone get close to her, she would protect her no matter what the costs.

This was exactly what she had been afraid of when they started seeing each other.

Shepard also arranged a security detail.Two guards would stand outside Liara’s apartment at all times and would report any sign of unusual activity straight to Shepard, night and day. She was not going to tell Liara about any of this, she didn't want her to feel unsafe and scare her into hiding. Sure, she would probably detect the extra security, but Shepard would manage to make her believe that was important because of what had happened to them earlier. Although she didn't like the thought of having to lie to Liara, she was going back to Thessia for good in a few months anyway. So it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Shepard slumped down onto the end of the bed, the thought of Liara leaving made her legs feel heavy. She let herself fall back onto the bed, and she turned her head, burying it into the pillow. The smell hit her like a truck rammed into her heart. The sweet scent of flowers, honey and something else, something uniquely Liara. 

Shepard closed her eyes and inhaled, again and again, thinking back to the morning she had woken up in the ship cabin. 

_ Her chest pressed against Liara’s back, their legs tangled together, and Shepard’s arms around Liara’s soft and wonderful body. They fitted together perfectly, Shepard had thought as she lay there looking at the stars. Liara was still asleep and Shepard wanted to just lay like this forever, listening to Liara’s soft breath and feel the way her back moved with the rhythm of her breathing. Shepard would never ask for anything else for the rest of her life. Shepard didn't need to breathe, or to eat or drink. She just needed Liara. _

_ I love you. _

It had been the best morning Shepard could ever remember. And she wished every morning could be just like that.

Shepard grunted into the pillow. She reluctantly pushed herself to get up, abandoning the memory as she couldn't justify herself lying like this, smelling a pillow in someone else's bed. She didn't belong here, deep down she knew that. If anyone was to lie like this, it would be Liara’s girlfriend, not her. The way Liara had run into Falere’s arms and kissed her... It was very obvious she had missed her a lot. 

But then there was the meld, and Shepard’s thoughts got all tangled up again. The confusion was raging inside of her.

_ Fuck, how did I become such a mess?  _

Shepard sat up on the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands. This was exactly why she had run away to Omega in the first place. So she didn’t have to deal with things like this. She had been doing so fine, just perfect. But then she met Liara and ever since she had been battling her inner emotions. And now... Now Liara wanted to speak with her and Shepard knew where this was going to end.

But she wasn't going to resign without a fight. Liara was worth that much.

Shepard was going to get her shit together and own up to her feelings. When Liara got back from Thessia, Shepard was going to see her, and she was going to tell Liara exactly how she was feeling. She was going to tell her that she won't settle for just friends anymore. It just wouldn't do. Shepard would never be able to forgive herself if she did.

* * *

Three days later, Shepard stopped outside the door to Liara’s apartment building. She nodded at the two turian guards standing there before she stepped up to the buzzer. She rang it and waited for an answer. She looked down into the bouquet of white roses in her hand, the paper around it crunched when she found herself squeezing it nervously.

_ This is it. _

When Liara’s voice spoke out over the comm, Shepard let out a heavy breath.

“It’s me. Can I come up? There is something I need to talk to you about.”

“Shepard!” Liara sounded surprised. “I’m sorry, I’m a little busy right now...”

“It will only take a minute.” Shepard gathered herself. “Please, I need to talk to you.”

When Shepard heard the buzz of the lock opening, her stomach knotted together, and she felt so nervous she was starting to shake. The guards opened the door for her, and she stepped into the elevator and used the short time it took it to reach Liara’s floor to straighten her hair and to make sure there was nothing stuck in her teeth. She even smelled herself, she couldn't take any chances now. Not when she was about to tell Liara exactly how she was feeling.

Shepard knew this would end in one of two ways. And she told herself that she was prepared for the worst outcome. The outcome she was almost certain would happen. That Liara just waved her off and told her she was perfectly happy with Falere. And then there was the other thing that gnawed at Shepard. She felt like a total asshole for doing this to Falere. Although she didn’t know her, she knew that if Liara had been with her for two years she must be a very good and kind person. Shepard felt like the worlds biggest scum doing this behind someone else's back. 

She was no better than Kaidan...

Shepard let out a heavy sigh before she raised her hand to knock on the door. She hit it two times and waited, squeezing the flowers again, her fingers turning white from the tension. She listened to her own heavy breathing while she heard footsteps coming closer from inside. 

When the door opened, Shepard felt like her heart would burst. Liara was one week away, and it felt like she saw her for the first time again. Her pulse increased, her stomach started to flutter, and her eyes had to blink to take in the beauty in front of her. 

And those damned blue eyes.

Liara was standing with a bathrobe tied around herself, and she held it close together by her neck with one hand. Her eyes widened as she looked down at Shepard’s hand, seeing the flowers. Even though Shepard had never felt so nervous in her life, she could not suppress the smile forming on her lips as she stood there watching Liara.

“I brought you flowers. Thought you might like them...”

“Could I please come over to your apartment later, Shepard? I need to talk to you, but now is not the time-”

Liara’s mouth stayed open like she was still speaking, but there was another voice sounding out from inside the apartment. Shepard felt her breath caught in her throat, and her heart sank back into the black pit of her stomach. She watched Liara’s shocked expression, her eyes blinking as footsteps were coming closer and closer, and Shepard threw the flowers as far away as she could down the side of the hallway.

“Honey, what’s... Oh,” Falere said as she stepped up beside Liara, her eyes looking with uncertainty at Shepard. 

Shepard didn't know where to look so her eyes darted between Liara and Falere.

_ I must look like such a fucking idiot. Say something! _

All of the sudden, realization dawned in Falere’s eyes. “Ah, of course.You must be Shepard. I’m so sorry I didn't recognize you at once!” Falere, who was also in her bathrobe, extended her hand towards Shepard. 

Thoughts started to form straight away, of Liara and Falere naked on the bed, just tossing something on when Shepard obviously had interrupted them with the bell. Liara had probably been lying, pressed up against her girlfriend’s body, smiling and laughing. Falere kissing and touching her...

Shepard had to swallow to stop herself from bawling.

She managed to raise one shaking hand, and she shook Falere’s, and Shepard realized both of them were waiting for her to say something.

_ Fuck fuck fuck. _

“Yeah, I-,” she cleared her throat, “I was just coming over to see if Liara made it back safe. And-” Shepard started to rub her neck, and Liara watched her with wide terrified eyes.

“Well, I was going to invite you over to Afterlife this evening. Both of you. Aria is hosting a party. I thought maybe you would like to come...”

_ Now, why the fuck did I do that?! _

Shepard regretted it as soon as she had spoken the words.

Falere’s face lit up in a smile. “Of course we would like to come. Liara has told me so much about both you and Aria, I would very much like to get to know you.”

Shepard felt her heart break. Damn, she was so nice too.

“Perfect,” Shepard managed to say with a shaky voice. She refrained from looking at Liara. She couldn't look her in the eyes right now, as Shepard now realised what a terrible mistake this had been. Liara was making it very clear that she was going to stay with her girlfriend. Of course she was.

Shepard was only a stupid human, a thug not at all worthy of Liara’s time or feelings. Liara deserved to be with someone more like herself, someone that could take care of her and be there for her to give her everything she wanted.

Shepard would never be good enough for her.

Something started to ring out inside the apartment and Falere excused herself and told Shepard she very much looked forward to this evening. Shepard nodded at her before she stepped back into the apartment.

Liara who had yet to say a word, still standing frozen in the doorway. Her hand was clutching the doorframe to help keep her standing upright. Shepard dared to look at her, and what she saw made her heart break all anew. Liara’s blue eyes were filled with tears, and Shepard felt her own tears pressing on, forcing their way out.

“I’m sorry,” Shepard whispered, looking down onto her feet. “I’m such a fool…”

“No Shepard…” Liara whispered in a broken voice. “I am the fool. And I am so sorry.”

Shepard looked up, and as one tear fell down her cheek Liara reached out to remove it. Liara’s thumb lingered before wiping it away, before she quickly pulled her hand back. Shepard felt like she was just seconds from breaking apart so she turned, walking towards the ruined flowers on the floor. She picked them up and stepped into the elevator. Shepard slowly turned around, her shoulders slumped as she reached out to press the button to take her back downstairs. She watched Liara standing in the doorway, drying her tears as the elevator doors closed slowly in front of her. 

And when Liara was gone behind the closed doors, Shepard dropped the flowers onto the floor and hid her face in her hands and cried.


	13. Final Goodbye

Liara stood in front of the mirror, looking at herself in her new purple dress which she had brought with her from Serrice. She wanted to look pretty today, it was after all her first night out with Falere after they both had returned to Omega.

Falere had decided to come with her, as she found it hard to separate after just a week back together. Liara had very much wanted Falere to come with her, but after seeing Shepard so broken just hours ago, she regretted ever saying yes to it.

Liara had been meaning to talk to Shepard, it was supposed to be the first thing she was going to do when she arrived back. But Falere had other plans and had kept her in bed all morning. And as much as Liara had enjoyed it, she regretted deeply that she hadn’t gone straight to Shepard.

_ She really didn’t deserve to find out like this. _

Liara had to close her eyes to find the strength to push all of those feelings down yet again. The look in Shepard’s eyes when Falere came to the door was haunting Liara’s very soul. She had looked so happy just seconds before. Standing out in the hallway so proud with the beautiful roses in her hands, her smell just as wonderful as Liara remembered from the time on the ship. Her green eyes beaming with happiness when Liara had opened the door. Oh, how could she had let this happen. Liara had hurt the woman who had been nothing but good and kind towards her. Who had protected her and kept her alive. Who had made her stomach flutter, heart swell and made Liara feel all of those other things she now had decided to give up on.

Liara had followed her father’s advice and had made her choice. Liara was going to finish her job here, then she would be going back home, for good. Home to Falere. She was not going to look back, she couldn’t. She knew that would only make her change her mind.

Liara had made her choice, and she was going to stick with it. No matter how badly it hurt now, it would get better. She had to believe that.

Liara put on the blue lipstick and was startled when arms came around her waist from behind. Falere rested her head on Liara’s shoulder and looked at her in the mirror.

“Have I told you how gorgeous you look?” She smiled and kissed Liara on the side of her crest. 

Liara responded and her lips curled into a wide smile, “yes, you always tell me.” She turned around in Falere’s arms and kissed her girlfriend.

“You look very nice yourself.”

Falere had been very excited about going to Afterlife, and Liara knew that Shiala had something to do with it. Falere told Liara about several phone calls and messages, usually with a picture of Aria, and how Shiala had been nearly obsessed with the queen after she had returned. Liara found the whole thing hilarious really, her friend was becoming a regular stalker. 

Shiala hadn’t laughed when Liara had called her that.

“I can’t wait to get to know your friends,” Falere said as she released her hold on Liara. “That Shepard seems like a nice woman.” Falere left a peck on her nose and turned away to grab their coats.

Liara had tried several times to talk Falere out of going to Afterlife, but she was so determined to go that Liara had to give up. It would seem weird if she continued to make up excuses why Falere shouldn’t meet her new friends. But the thought of having to touch Falere in front of Shepard made Liara very uncomfortable. She was unsure how she was going to survive this night.

Liara looked at herself in the mirror again as her own eyes stared back at her. “Yes, she is.”

* * *

They arrived at Afterlife 20 minutes later, and were instantly let inside by the elcor guarding the line outside. As they stepped through the door, Grizz was already heading towards them and walked the couple to the stairs leading to Shepard and Aria.

As they walked up the stairs, Liara felt Falere place her hand on her back and led her forward. They walked all the way up and were greeted by Aria in her usual position on her couch. Relaxed back into the cushions, her legs crossed and a drink in her hand. Liara could hear Falere inhale beside her. It seemed like Aria had a way of coaxing these responses from women, but Liara’s eyes were already glued to the subject in front of her.

Or should she say: The two subjects.

Shepard was seated on the couch as well, but she was covered by an asari in a very compromising outfit, straddling her lap and, to what it looked like to Liara, eating her face. Shepard’s hands were holding her waist, keeping her in place while the asari had her hands in Shepard’s hair.

Liara cringed while her heart fell to her stomach. She knew exactly how her hair felt like.

Aria was not oblivious to the situation, so she cleared her throat before speaking, “Liara, welcome.”

Liara watched as Shepard’s body tensed. Her eyes flew open as she pulled away from the asari in her lap, looking over her shoulder.

“Don’t stop Shepard,” the asari purred as she leaned back into her mouth.

Liara glared at Shepard for two full seconds before she swiftly turned towards Aria. “Thank you, Aria. I would like you to meet Falere, my girlfriend.”

Falere stepped up beside Liara and shook Aria’s hand. “I have heard so much about you.”

“I bet,” Aria drawled. “You have to excuse my friend Shepard here, she has no manners...”

“Oh, we have already met actually,” Falere said with a grin. “So don’t mind me. Just keep going.” She sent a wink towards Shepard whose expression was both flustered and annoyed at the same time.

Liara watched as the asari in Shepard’s lap turned around, closed her legs and introduced herself, “I’m Nassana. Nice to meet you both.” She didn’t move away from Shepard’s lap, instead Shepard put an arm around her waist and held her in place.

“Liara,” Shepard nodded, her voice was cold. It sent a shiver down Liara’s spine.

Liara sat down opposite Aria, as far away from Shepard as she could get, and Falere took the seat beside her. Liara grabbed Falere’s hand, intertwined their fingers and pulled it into her lap. Falere was surprised at the sudden change and even flinched a bit when Liara squeezed too hard. Shepard’s lips twitched at the sight, her arm tightening around Nassana’s body.

“Bray! Bring us some shots. I think some of us are going to need it,” Aria said before addressing Falere, “so how do you like Omega?”

“Better than I expected to be honest. I have to say, I didn’t have very high expectations. But Liara seems to love it here, so I decided to see for myself what the fuss was all about...”

Aria laughed and cast a glance over at Shepard.

"You heard that, Shepard? Seems like Liara is loving it here."

Shepard shot daggers back at her friend, while Aria’s lips were going into a full grin. Liara knew that Aria took pleasure in teasing Shepard, but she probably shouldn’t be doing that too much tonight. It might end badly.

"What's not to love," Liara said dryly, her eyes staring into Shepard’s. She didn’t flinch.

"You tell me," Shepard retorted, her eyes still unwavering as she let her other hand wander up Nassanas thigh, before squeezing it, making her squirm in her lap.

“Shepard!” she gasped as she put one arm around Shepard’s neck, letting it slide down on her upper arm. 

Liara watched as Nassana squeezed the muscles in her arm lightly before her eyes darted back to Shepard’s.

Aria started to hand out shots as soon as a waitress put down a large tray containing several glasses filled with a green liquid. It had to be Ryncol, just what Liara needed. She grabbed one and threw it back, desperately needing something to help take her focus off Shepard. It did nothing, so she grabbed another and swallowed it just as quickly.

“Easy there, honey. I don’t want to have to carry you home tonight,” Falere teased while leaning in to kiss Liara’s cheek and rested her other hand on the small of her back.

The first two shots weren't so bad, but the third made Liara’s throat burn fiercely. She had to close her eyes to be able to gulp it down, and she found the darkness soothing. She wanted her eyes to stay closed for the rest of the night, so she wouldn't have to look at those green eyes boring into her any more. 

But she knew she couldn’t, so Liara took a deep breath and opened them again. She moved closer to Falere and clutched her hand harder as her eyes fixed on the human further down the couch. Nassana was still sitting in her lap, while Shepard’s hand caressed her thigh torturously slow. Her stare made Liara shudder.

She didn’t manage to look away. It was like Shepard was a beacon drawing her towards her, and she had no way of escaping it. Liara felt a well of emotions rising up inside her while she watched Shepard touching Nassana. Anger, arousal, embarrassment and fear coursed through her, battling for her attention. Liara's chest was heaving, her breath was growing heavier together with what had now become an intense throbbing between her legs. Each time Falere’s hand slid over her back it made Liara shiver. Luckily, her girlfriend was too into her conversation with Aria to notice.

Liara reached for another shot, but her hand was trembling so badly she had to draw it back. She closed it into a fist in her lap and tried to get her mind to focus. But it was impossible. All she could hear was the distant babble around herself while she felt sucked into Shepard’s sphere. Liara was unable to remove her eyes from Shepard’s, it was like every fiber, from A to Z, was pulling them towards each other. She watched as the asari in Shepard’s lap leaned in again to kiss her, but this time Shepard moved away from it. 

“I can’t do this right now…” Shepard whispered to Nassana, but loud enough for Liara to hear.

Liara squeezed Falere’s hand even harder as she watched Nassana remove herself from Shepard’s lap and down onto the couch beside her. 

“Liara? Are you okay?” Falere asked, moving one hand up to the back of her crest.

Liara managed to tear herself away from Shepard’s eyes and looked at her girlfriend, “Y- yes,” she stammered while trying to calm herself down. 

Falere looked worried while she was gently stroking her fingers along Liara’s folds under the tip of her crest. She obviously tried to soothe her, but it didn’t do anything to help with Liara’s feelings. Suddenly, she felt trapped. Panic started to rise inside her, and she felt her breath grow quicker while her chest became more and more restricted. Liara tried to look into her girlfriend's eyes, but she knew Falere would notice something was very wrong if she held her gaze for too long. Liara quickly averted her gaze, trying to focus on anything other than the two people she knew was both staring at her.

But it was impossible for Liara to focus on anything else, and soon it all became too much. 

_ I need to get out of here! _

Liara stood up abruptly, Falere’s hand slipping out of her own.

“I’m sorry, I need to use the restroom,” Liara said, her eyes not leaving Shepard’s. She found her footing and forced herself to move. 

She rushed towards the stairs, but she froze for a second when she heard the leather from the couch screech. Liara took a deep shuddering breath before she continued down the stairs, down past the bar towards the restrooms. She didn't need to turn around to know that she was being followed. Shepard’s presence was overwhelming and all-encompassing wherever she went. Instead of walking straight to the bathroom Liara made a quick turn to the left and stepped into one of the private rooms of the club. She walked all the way inside and leaned her arms up against the wall on the far side of the room. She bowed her head down between them and tried to focus. She tried to breathe, tried to reason with herself, but she had lost all of her control.

Liara heard the footsteps behind her slow down as they stepped inside the room.

“Lock the door.”

When Liara heard the door lock behind her, she closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, trying one last time to gather some resemblance of self-control but it was impossible, so instead she turned around. Her whole body was trembling so bad she had a hard time standing up.

But it really didn’t matter, because she knew those strong arms would catch her anyway.

She surged forward into Shepard’s chest, and Shepard did not move an inch when Liara crashed into her. She threw her arms around Shepard’s neck, pulling herself up on her toes to be able to reach her lips. When their mouths met Liara shuddered, her lips trembling with want and a loud moan escaped her mouth when Shepard grabbed her thighs and lifted her up. Liara used her hands to lift her dress up her thighs to be able to press herself all the way into Shepard’s body as she locked her legs around her waist. Their kiss deepened, it was so desperate, so lustful Liara had nothing to compare it to. Shepard pressed her tongue into her mouth, and it was nothing like the last time they kissed. This time, Shepard demanded entry, she demanded to taste, to feel, to devour. 

And Liara was going to allow her all those things.

Liara’s own decision deeply forgotten as Shepard pushed her hard up against the wall. The cold she felt through her clothes were a comfortable contrast to the hot body pressed into her. Shepard’s heavy panting hit Liara’s face as she pulled slightly back to be able to breathe. She didn’t stay away long before she was back onto her lips, growling as her tongue was lashing against Liara’s. Shepard’s hands squeezing desperately at her thighs, nails clawing at her skin, surely leaving purple marks. But Liara couldn't find it in herself to care about it. All she needed was for Shepard to take her and completely ravish her. Her azure pulsed and clenched with want as she grinded herself onto Shepard’s stomach. 

It was so needy, so wanton, so unlike Liara.

Her head continued to spin as Shepard left her lips and continued to kiss down her neck, taking her time to let her tongue slide over the folds on the side of her crest. Liara moaned again, bucking against Shepard’s body, craving any sort of friction. She pressed her eyes closed while her hands were twisting and clawing in Shepard’s hair. Liara didn’t dare to open them. If she did, she was sure she would throw herself into a meld straight away. All her inhibitions had seemed to vanish the moment she felt Shepard’s lips against her own.

“I want you,” Liara breathed into Shepard’s neck, putting her lips against it and tasting her as she felt a shudder running through Shepard’s body. “Please Jane…”

Hearing her first name put Shepard into a frenzy. She hadn’t heard it in such a long time, she had forgotten how much she had missed being called by it. And the needy tone in Liara’s voice made her even hotter. 

Shepard continued to kiss and nibble at her neck, her teeth suddenly digging into her flesh making Liara scream out in pleasure. Shepard soothed the bite with her tongue, and Liara felt one hand move from the outside of her thigh to the inside, crawling slowly towards where she pulsed and throbbed and needed Shepard’s hand to touch her.

“Touch me. Please...” 

She felt Shepard’s fingers skim over her panties, which she was sure were completely ruined by now. Liara tightened her legs around Shepard’s waist and bucked against her hand. 

“I want you,” Liara repeated over and over. Her mind spinning, her heart almost beating too hard for her fragile chest as she continued to grind against Shepard’s hand. She was already so close without Shepard even really touching her, yet Shepard had managed to undo her so completely. The need to meld intensified and she craved a mind to link to. The pressure was becoming too much to bear. She opened her eyes and looked straight into Shepards and Liara could see her own reflection in her green eyes. Liara’s eyes were pitch black.

“I need-”

Shepard’s hand suddenly snapped out from between her thighs, and Liara felt herself being lowered back down on her feet. Shepard stepped away from her, her head lowered looking down onto the ground.

“We can’t do this…” she panted.

Liara shook her head. She was dizzy, and she had to lean back against the wall to be able to keep standing. 

“W-What?” she stuttered. Liara watched as Shepard’s expression instantly turned towards anger.

“I’m such a fucking hypocrite!” Shepard barked, turning around and slamming her fist into the wall. The sound of her hand clashing against the metal pulled Liara back into reality. When Shepard pulled her hand away blood was running along her knuckles.

“Shepard!” Liara gasped and was over at her in an instant, grabbing her hand. “Stop it!”

Shepard shrugged her off with an aggressive tone “You need to leave.”

Liara’s pulse started to rise again, but for entirely different reasons than before, “Why?” she asked angrily.

“Why?! You're asking  **me ** why?” Shepard turned around, and Liara shuddered. That anger had never been directed at her before. 

“You of all people should know why!”

“Why did you come over to my apartment?” Liara demanded.

Shepard lowered her eyes. “It doesn't matter now anyway.”

Liara felt furious, she had never felt this kind of anger before. She stepped up to Shepard and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at her.

“Yes it does. It matters to me!”

“It doesn’t fucking matter because you have already made your choice!”

Shepard closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them again after several seconds her eyes had softened, and Liara watched as all the anger left her. All that was left now, was this shaking woman in front of her. Liara released her tight grip on her face and cupped her cheek instead. She felt Shepard tremble under her touch as Liara brushed her thumb over her cheek to calm her.

“You matter to me.” Liara’s voice was back to its calm and gentle nature.

Shepard sighed, but kept her eyes locked with Liara’s. “I came to tell you... I want you, Liara. All of you. I want to be with you.”

It was everything Liara had ever wanted to hear. She felt her heart swell so big it couldn't possibly fit inside her chest anymore. But after a few seconds of pure bliss, she felt like a knife was stabbed through her chest as her heart clenched with pain when the words registered.

“I-”

_ Tell her! _

How could she tell her? Liara wanted to scream out that she wanted Shepard too. Probably just as much, maybe even more. Goddess, she wanted her. She wanted to be able to kiss her, to hold her, feel that soft hair under her palms while she kissed those perfect lips. She wanted to feel those strong arms pick her up again and again, press her up against walls or throw her onto beds. She wanted to soothe her when Shepard’s memories were too painful once again, tell her sweet reassurances and encouragements. She closed her eyes to try to gather her courage to tell her, but she couldn't. This was not what she had decided. She had used a whole week to argue, discuss and reason with herself, and she had been satisfied with her choice. But that all went to smoke when she touched Shepard again.

Liara opened her eyes again and found Shepard still staring at her, waiting for her to say something. Shepard’s eyes were so hopeful and sad at the same time, and Liara felt her heart stop when she saw that the hope in them slowly vanished with every passing second she didn't speak.

Shepard pulled back from her touch and looked away when Liara didn't find her voice. Liara’s hand slipped down to her side, heavy. She dropped her eyes as well like she couldn't bear to look at Shepard any longer. 

_ Tell her... _

“You don't have to say anything. I just need to tell you that I can't do this anymore. I can't just be your friend. I'm so sorry, but I can't.”

Liara stood back and watched as Shepard moved further away from her, unlocking the door to the room. She didn't have any breath left in her to make her able to speak. Everything was knocked out of her. And both their hearts were left on the floor in several pieces.

“You stay and enjoy the rest of the evening with your girlfriend. I’ll go.” Shepard cast a last sad smile in her direction.

And with that Shepard left and closed the door behind herself. Liara slumped to the floor and hid her head in her hands, sobs wrecking through her as she released all of her feelings. 

She couldn't understand how she ended up in this mess. Again and again, she had tried to deny how she truly felt, even managed to reassure herself of her true feelings. And then, every time she looked into those emerald eyes, those fantastic green kind eyes, her whole world was instantly turned upside down. Liara had never felt like this for anyone before. She was long past thinking this was just a crush or an act of want.

She was very certain now, that this was how it felt to be in love. And she had thrown it all away.

After what felt like hours, she picked herself up and wiped her eyes. Falere must be wondering where she was, and Liara had to find her and tell her they needed to go home. She couldn't stay here one minute longer, everything around her reminded her of Shepard.

How could she do this to Shepard? When she had been inside her mind and seen what happened that day on the Citadel. Liara found herself sick at the thought. What Liara was doing to Falere was exactly the same thing Sam had done to Shepard. The thought made her stomach turn.

_ I don’t deserve any of you... _

Liara took several deep breaths and steadied herself before she opened the door. But before she stepped out, she made one last promise to herself, and this time she was going to keep it.

* * *

Liara opened her eyes again as the darkness around her became unbearable. She blinked a few times before she could completely take in her surroundings. She clutched her blanket and pulled it further up her body, covering her all the way up to her chin. Her body felt so cold, so numb, lifeless and tired and Liara wanted to just lie like this for the rest of her life. She knew that this would be impossible, and by tomorrow morning she would have to drag herself up from her couch, put on a decent face and go to work. She had already lost too much time lying like this, feeling sorry for herself. She needed to get herself together and go on with her life. She at least had to try. 

Liara sat up abruptly, forcing her body to obey her mind, and she pushed the blanket off herself in one swift motion. She rubbed her forehead and eyes, trying to make herself feel more awake. She picked up her omni-tool and put it back on her arm before checking the time: 05:00. She could get up and prepare to go to work now. Liara would have a lot to catch up on anyway, so starting her day this early was not a problem. As she got up and walked into her bedroom to pick out some decent clothes, her breath caught in her throat when she caught a glimpse of the white sweater lying on the bed. It was Liara’s favorite sweater and it was also the one Falere always borrowed on their lazy Sundays…

The memory of last month’s fateful conversation came crashing back, hitting Liara so hard in her chest she instantly had to put her hand over it.

\---

_ Liara squeezed the hand in between her own as she watched how Falere’s eyes started to tear up. Slowly, the moisture was overtaking them as Liara’s words registered. At first, Liara felt the hand in hers trying to pull away. Falere didn’t pull with a lot of effort so Liara managed to hold it in place. She squeezed it again, watching as Falere averted her gaze, away from her own. _

_ Liara felt her own tears surfacing and her chest felt very restricting, making it harder for her to breathe properly. But she was going to hold it together for Falere. This was not the time to feel sorry for herself or to break down. Falere was still looking away, and Liara watched in silence as her girlfriend’s tears finally found their way down. Liara had expected some sort of outburst, that Falere would be angry, enraged even. But she hadn’t said a word yet, she just sat there completely still, her hand still placed in between Liara’s. _

_ “I am so sorry,” Liara whispered, tilting her head to try to get Falere’s focus. _

_ “I know.” Falere turned her head, her eyes fixed on Liara’s again while she blinked away the tears. “I know that you are, Liara.” _

_ “I wanted to tell you sooner. I just didn’t know if-” _

_ “It’s okay,” Falere interrupted. In a reassuring gesture she put her other hand over Liara’s and squeezed it. “I have known since we melded when you came back home anyway.” _

_ Now it was Liara’s turn to let her tears fall. _

_ “You knew?” _

_ “I didn’t know for sure, but I felt that you were conflicted. I know you too well T’Soni. No walls can keep your emotions from me. And then I saw her. Just for a second. And don’t worry, I didn’t look for more, but that gave me the confirmation.” _

_ Liara tried to suppress it, but it was impossible as she let out a weak sob, closing her eyes for a second to try to regain some composure. When she opened them again, Falere was still holding her gaze, as tears were running down her cheeks. _

_ “And when I saw her... Even if it was just for one second, I felt something I have never felt before in our melds. And then I knew...” _

_ Liara raised one hand and cupped Falere’s cheek. Her voice was lighter than before but still filled with sobs, “Why didn’t you say something?” _

_ “I wanted to give you the chance to tell me yourself.” _

_ Liara pulled Falere closer and put their foreheads together. The tears she had tried to suppress were now running freely down her cheeks. She closed her eyes as Falere did the same. _

_ “I am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you...” Liara whimpered. She let go of Falere’s hand and put her arms around her neck, pulling their bodies together. Liara hugged her girlfriend as tight as she possibly could without causing physical pain. She pressed her face into Falere’s neck, the sweet familiar smell filling her up, making her heart clench in pain. _

_ What am I doing? _

_ “You don’t need to tell me. I know you inside and out, Liara. I know you never meant for this to happen. I know you would never willingly hurt me. I know that,” Falere whispered as she tightened her hold around Liara, “and that’s why I love you so dearly.” _

_ They sat in silence again for a minute before Liara pulled back, wanting to look Falere in the eyes when she told her what had been haunting her the most. _

_ “I kissed her...” _

_ “It doesn’t matter now anyway.” Falere shook her head, but her eyes still fixed on Liara. _

_ Liara let out a long shuddering breath, managing to blink her own tears away before any more could fall. She inhaled again, suddenly finding it slightly easier to breathe. It was like a weight had been lifted off her chest, and somehow she felt a tiny bit better. _

_ “You are such an amazing person. I cannot believe how well you are handling this. I do not deserve this nor do I deserve you. You should be angry with me, you should scream and maybe even hate me-” _

_ “No,” Falere interrupted. “I don’t hate you, and I never will, I never could. Even though this hurts me like nothing ever has before, I- I am thankful that you are telling me.” _

_ Falere pulled further back and took Liara’s hands again. “I know you never meant to hurt me, Liara. Please do not think that I hate you. I just want you to be truly happy.” _

_ “How can you say these things?” Liara asked in a slightly more reproachful tone. _

_ “Because I know you. I have been inside your mind so many times I cannot even count them anymore. I know you do not have one drop of bad blood in you. You would never do something to hurt someone else intentionally. You are just too good.” _

_ Liara sobbed again but managed to stop herself from completely breaking down. _

_ “I don’t know what to say...” she sniffled. _

_ Falere leaned closer again and pulled Liara into another hug. “You don’t have to say anything. You have said enough. Thank you for being honest with me.” _

_ Liara closed her eyes as she felt Falere’s arms tighten around her, before they were gently easing her back.  _

_ “I think I should leave... I will go to a hotel for the night and-” _

_ “No. You are not going to stay at some shabby hotel. You should stay right here. Please.” Liara saw sadness flicker through Falere’s eyes for a second before continuing, “If you feel comfortable-” _

_ “Yes. Of course I do.” Falere placed her hand on Liara’s cheek, stroking it slowly as Liara put her own hand over hers. “I will stay until tomorrow. Then I will be going back home to Serrice.” _

_ They both slept in Liara’s bed that night. They shared words, stories, laughter and more tears before they both fell asleep, arms around each other. When Liara woke the next morning, Falere had already left, and she turned over in her bed and allowed herself to cry as she clutched the white sweater Falere had left behind on the bed. It still smelled like her, and Liara hugged it close. She knew deep down that she had done the right thing, she had no choice but to be completely honest with Falere. She deserved nothing less. _

\---

Liara forced her eyes away from the sweater. She was not going to linger anymore on this memory. She would never forget Falere, and she certainly didn’t want to. But a month had passed, and it was time she at least tried to move on. Liara dressed and made herself presentable for work, before she sat down with a cup of her favorite thessian tea. She opened her omni-tool and was met with yet another returned message. Liara had to swallow down the lump in her throat before she opened the message, and pressed resend.

[Jane,

I am so sorry about what happened the last time we were together, but I really need to see you. Please let me speak with you and give me time to explain.

Liara]

Liara held her breath for a couple of seconds, until the message came back again. The number of failed attempts increased.

_ How could I have thrown it all away? _

She hated herself for how she had handled this mess. Because that was what this was. Liara hated herself for not being able to be honest with Shepard. Why couldn’t she have just told her how she felt that day? Why had she suppressed her own feelings for so long, just to hurt both Shepard and Falere even more? 

Liara quickly removed the single tear that was sliding slowly down her cheek. She couldn’t start crying again, the last time she hadn’t been able to stop for hours. Maybe getting out would be good for her. Try to get back to her normal routine. Try to forget all about Jane.

Liara had kept herself deeply immersed in her work all day, and by the time she checked her omni-tool the clock was already showing 6 pm. She knew that she needed to get back home at some point, but she dreaded it. Liara knew what was in store for her back at her apartment. But why should she accept that depressing fate? Who said she had to give up so easily? Shepard didn’t back down as well. If she didn’t want to speak with her, Liara wanted to hear it straight from her, not from returned messages on her omni-tool. Something shifted inside Liara, and she found a little bit of strength, and it was all she needed. She opened her omni-tool again and made a call. It didn’t ring out for very long until a familiar voice answered.

“Liara? To what do I owe this pleasure?” Aria drawled, and Liara didn’t need a holo to picture the queen.

“I need to speak with Shepard.”

“I thought you decided on staying with your girlfriend...”

Liara sighed annoyingly, “This is not something I want to discuss with you, Aria. I am sorry but I need to speak with Shepard. Do you know where she is?”

“No, but if I were to make an educated guess, I would say she is back at her apartment. I haven’t spoken with her in days...”

Liara felt a shiver run down her spine.

“I will try her apartment then.”

“Wait. You can’t just go over there and expect to be let inside. I will send Bray over to pick you up. He can help you with getting access.”

Liara let out a breath of relief. “Thank you, Aria. I appreciate it. Do you think he can pick me up at my place in two hours?”

* * *

Liara stood in front of the mirror, checking her clothing for what seemed like the hundredth time. She had taken a long shower and changed into something a little more flattering than her work-clothes after she returned, and now she was waiting for Bray. She had been waiting for what seemed like forever. Liara could not remember the last time she had felt so nervous. Her hands were slightly trembling as she put on her violet lipstick. She tried to smile at herself, to reassure her tight chest and crumpled heart that this would be ok. Shepard would let her in, and Shepard would listen to her. She knew she would. As soon as her own smile reflected back at her, it disappeared again just as quickly as it had appeared. 

_ What if she doesn’t want to speak with me? What if she has moved on? Why shouldn’t she have done that? _

Liara put one hand over her forehead and tried to rub the thoughts away. Her omni-tool chimed and she checked the message from Bray, telling her he was waiting outside.

_ This is it. _

Liara removed herself from the mirror, how she looked would not change anything at this point anyway. She walked over and grabbed her coat, putting it on before she picked up the white roses she had bought after work. The exact same Shepard had brought her a month ago. Liara released a deep shuddering breath before opening her front door, walking out with a false bravado and knowing whatever the outcome of this evening, her life would be changed forever.


	14. I Was Lost Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to all our readers that continue to follow this story :)  
We are sorry for keeping you guys wait so long for this chapter. But here it is, hopefully the wait was worth it :)

Liara stopped outside the rooftop entrance leading into Shepard’s apartment-building. The rain started to pour down, hitting her crest and drenching her clothes. She turned her eyes down to the white roses in her shaking hands. Liara closed them for a second, saying a silent prayer to Athame. She needed someone to help her through this, someone to give her the strength to face whatever was coming her way. She shook her head when she opened her eyes again, the rain tapping against the paper around the flowers. She knew, only one person could give her the strength she needed. It was only one person that would be able to make her feel whole again, to mend her cracking heart.

_ Shepard _ .

“Liara?” Bray asked, still holding the door open and waiting for her to enter. “You should get inside, don’t want to catch a cold, would you?”

Liara managed a weak smile before she found the strength she needed to move her legs and step inside.

“I'll wait here until further notice,” Bray said, and Liara was surprised to see the batarian smile. He was always so professional, never showing any emotions.

“Thank you, Bray.”

“No need to thank me.”

Liara stepped past him and into the elevator bringing her down to Shepard’s floor. When it reached its destination, Liara walked slowly out into the hallway leading to the entrance door. Her legs felt so heavy, and her chest started to feel tighter and tighter with each step that brought her closer. Liara stopped when she reached the door. There was nothing to press, nothing to alert the person on the inside that someone was waiting at the door. Liara figured Shepard rarely got unsuspected visitors. 

She lifted her trembling hand and knocked. Once, twice, three times before she let her hand fall down to her side. She waited and waited. Nothing. She lifted her hand again, this time she knocked harder, the pounding inside her chest drowned the knock. Her heartbeat was increasing rapidly, and her thoughts began to spiral. 

“Shepard. It’s me, Liara,” she said into the door, hoping her voice would pass through to the other side. 

_ She might not even be home. And she probably doesn’t even want to see me. She would have answered my calls and messages if she did… _

Liara sighed, and she felt her eyes were starting to tear up when she turned the different scenarios around in her head. She didn’t know if she had the power to turn around and go back home to her empty apartment. Liara wasn't sure if she would be able to stay on Omega any longer after Shepard most likely either told her she didn't want to see her anymore, or just never answered. 

Liara knew she had messed up, and now she would never have the chance to- 

_ No! _

Liara stopped her down spiraling thoughts before they would devour her completely. Where was that girl who never gave up? The woman that always followed through on things she set her mind to? No one else would be able to fix this mess for her. Liara needed to do this herself. 

She needed a chance to make this right. She needed Jane to give her one last chance.

“Shepard, please,” she called out this time, her hand knocking harder at the door. “Please, let me explain!”

After a few seconds, she heard footsteps coming from inside the apartment, and her heart skipped a beat. Her breath caught in her throat as she heard them coming closer, until suddenly the door opened, and the reason for her heartache stood in front of her. Nothing between them to separate them anymore.

Liara instantly noticed Shepard’s eyes. They were not the usual sparkling emerald. They were dull and tired. She looked so tired.

“Shepard?”

“Yeah.”

Liara could see the pain forming in her eyes as their gazes locked. She recognized it from the last time they were together. Recognized it from the day at Serrice, right before Shepard went back into the ship to return home.

“Can I please come inside?”

“Why?” Shepard's voice was so cold and lifeless, it sent a shiver down Liara's spine. She closed her hand even harder around the flowers, her other hand turning into a fist.

“Because I need to talk to you. Need to explain-”

“There is nothing to talk about or for you to explain. I think you should go.”

Shepard was leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. It reminded Liara so much of Aria. She had definitely adopted her posture.

Liara closed her eyes, gathering what little strength she had left inside her and spoke in a fierce tone, “No.”

“No?” 

“No, I will not leave until you let me speak.” Liara opened her eyes again, boring them into Shepard’s. “You need to let me speak with you.”

“What is the point, Liara? Please, I just want to-”

“I ended it with Falere,” Liara interrupted her. She held Shepard’s gaze and watched as something suddenly flickered through her eyes. Was it hope? Liara wasn’t sure, but she knew this gave her the chance she needed. “One month ago, I ended it. Straight after what happened at Afterlife.”

Shepard pushed away from the door frame but kept her arms crossed over her chest. “Why?”

“Why?” Liara whispered, almost losing her voice as she dared to take one step closer but when she noticed Shepard’s hesitation, she didn’t go any further. “I couldn’t continue to pretend anymore.”

Liara saw a small, subtle smile forming on Shepard’s lips as she uncrossed her arms. 

"I sent you messages. But all of them bounced back, so I didn't think you wanted to speak with me." Liara dropped her gaze again, staring at the white roses in her hand.

"I didn't want to speak with you. It would have been too difficult for me. I needed some distance..."

Liara gathered herself and looked up again. "I just wanted one more chance to be able to explain myself. To talk to you…"

“So you figured bringing me flowers would help turn me around?" Shepard teased.

“Can I please come inside?” Liara asked carefully, her strength was starting to fade. She wouldn’t be able to keep fighting for much longer.

“Yes, of course, and thank you,” Shepard said, stretching out a hand to take the flowers from Liara. “They are beautiful.”

As Shepard reached for the flowers, Liara felt her fingers touch her own, very delicately at first, before Shepard wrapped her warm hand around hers. She watched as Shepards subtle smile turned into the familiar grin she usually wore around Liara.

They both stood still for what seemed like several minutes, before Shepard's smile vanished, and her expression turned serious again. She took the flowers and motioned Liara inside, closing the door behind her. Liara took a few steps into the hall before she stopped. 

"God, you're all wet! Did you stand outside in the rain?" Shepard asked with concern in her voice. She put the flowers down on the table before stepping up beside Liara. "Let me take your coat…" 

Liara let her coat slide off her shoulders before she gathered all the courage she had left to be able to speak. There really wasn’t any reason to delay this any longer. If Liara didn’t get to speak her mind now, she was afraid she would never dare to.

"I- I came here to tell you that I want you too," she whispered. It was so low, she was afraid Shepard had missed it, but she felt the human stop in her tracks behind her, Shepard's breath increasing.

"Liara?"

Liara turned around slowly, tears already started to well up. She locked onto the emerald eyes in front of her before she spoke again. 

"I want you too, Jane. I think I always wanted you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were special." Liara forced her eyes to stay in place, feeling her own legs starting to give out under her as she watched Shepard's mind slowly take in what she had just said. 

She stood in complete silence, watching as a stray tear ran down Shepard's cheek.

"You want me?  _ Me _ ? But…" Shepard stopped herself, turning her gaze away. "But you choose  _ her. _ "

Liara took one step forward. "I was wrong, Jane. And for that I am so sorry."

Slowly, Shepard looked up again, and she started to understand what Liara was saying. She felt her breath caught in her throat as she understood exactly what Liara meant.

"I don't… I'm not sure…" 

Shepard watched as Liara’s tears fell down her cheeks, but her lips had turned into a smile. That big, wonderful smile that made her freckles turn a bit darker and stand out. Those adorable freckles Shepard wanted to kiss again and again. Their eyes met again, and Shepard finally understood. She let out a loud shuddering breath.

"You mean you-"

“I choose you. I will always choose you,” Liara cried as she leaped into Shepard’s waiting arms. She buried her face into her neck, and Shepard gasped as she suddenly felt this wholesomeness come over her. Like she had never really been at the right place before in her life, never really belonged anywhere. But now she had come home. She was exactly where she was supposed to be. Shepard had never believed in destiny, but somehow her beliefs were starting to shatter.

Shepard tightened her arms around Liara, pulling her in like she couldn’t possibly get her close enough. She felt Liara’s tears running down her neck. 

“I’m so lucky…” Shepard whispered while leaning her face down into Liara’s shoulder, her own tears pouring out of her. “I don’t deserve you…”

Liara cupped her face with both hands and pulled her back, her blue eyes staring into Shepard’s. “We deserve each other.” The reassuring look in her eyes made Shepard release a breath so heavy, it felt like she lost several pounds from her chest. 

Shepard couldn’t help the smile taking over her face as she watched Liara’s expression mirroring her own. She put her forehead against Liara’s while closing her eyes and just breathing, and she was sure Liara was doing the same thing.

“Are we really doing this?” Shepard asked in a hesitant tone.

“Yes, Jane. We have waited long enough. Now please… Take me to bed.”

Shepard didn’t need Liara to say anything else. She lifted her up into her arms while Liara locked her legs around her waist, keeping herself in place. Liara leaned down and found Shepard’s lips, and they moved together in perfect synchronization while Shepard walked slowly backwards into the bedroom. 

“Careful!” Liara giggled when Shepard almost stepped straight into the wall beside the door frame to her bedroom. “Watch where you are going.”

“I was occupied…” Shepard smiled before denying Liara the chance to say anything else by taking her lips against her own again. 

She stopped in front of the bed and lowered Liara carefully down onto it. When she tried to pull back, Liara followed her motion and sat up, catching her mouth again. 

“Please don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t. I’ll never walk away. I promise. Just let me do this…”

Shepard pulled away, dropped to her knees in front of the bed and rested between Liara’s thighs. She reached for the buttons on Liara’s shirt, her shaky fingers working them slowly while her breath was rapidly increasing with each button she undid. When all of them were undone, she looked for acceptance in Liara’s eyes before she pushed the shirt over her shoulders and down her arms, taking in the beauty that was unveiled in front of her. The shirt all the way off, Shepard froze but Liara didn’t. She reached back and unclasped her bra, before removing it, and Shepard though she might pass out.

She reached out with both hands, resting them inside Liara’s palms before threading their fingers together. Electricity and lightning were coursing through her, and she shivered, watching Liara do the same. Their eyes met, and both of them laughed. Liara’s eyes were still wet from the tears, but they shone so bright Shepard though they were more beautiful than any stars she had ever seen. The brightest star in the galaxy didn’t even compare to Liara’s beauty.

Shepard moved both of her hands and trailed her fingertips slowly along Liara’s scales up her arms, over her shoulders and down the side of her abdomen. She tried to look and to take all of Liara in, but it was difficult to tear herself away from the eyes staring at her.

“I want you to touch me, Jane.” 

Shepard moved her hands slowly towards her breasts, and she cupped them both carefully, and Shepard felt Liara’s nipples instantly harden and press into her palms. It made her gasp again, her hands slowly massaged her wonderful full, round and oh so soft breasts. Liara arched her back, pushing herself closer into her touch.

“You feel so wonderful,” Shepard breathed.

Shepard watched as Liara moved her own hands down to the button on her pants. She undid it and then slowly pulled the zipper down.

“Will you help me out of this?” Liara asked, slowly lifting her hips up from the bed.

“Yeah…”

Shepard removed her hands from Liara’s breasts and grabbed the hem of her pants. She had to swallow before she tugged them, pulling them slowly down, making sure to remove her underwear in the process. Once they were off, Shepard simply stared at her. She froze, feeling unable to move. She watched as Liara placed herself back on the edge of the bed, her arms resting behind herself to hold her upright, while she slowly opened her legs. Not too wide, but giving Shepard just enough room to fit between them. Shepard gasped at the beauty in front of her, she had never seen anyone as befitting the description Goddess before, but Liara sure was.

“God, you are so beautiful.”

“Come here.”

The way Liara’s eyes bore into her while her lips slowly curled upwards, gave her the strength to move.

Shepard moved on her knees until she was pressed up against Liara’s naked body. She pressed their lips together again and shuddered when she felt Liara take her bottom lip between her teeth. Just a light nibble, but it still sent a heavy wave of warmth down Shepard’s stomach and further down between her legs.

But she was not going to let Liara tease her out of control. Not tonight. She wanted to savor every little touch, every taste and feel every single shiver. They did not need to rush this, Shepard was going to make sure they took their time. Nothing else mattered anymore. It was just the two of them. Together.

And Shepard was going to make love to Liara the way she deserved.

She pulled back from Liara’s lips, making her whimper for the loss of contact. Shepard kissed the corner off her lips, down her jaw, and placed small kisses further down her neck. She felt Liara’s hands come up to her head, pushing her harder against her body.

“Slow down, I’m not going anywhere,” Shepard whispered into her neck, letting her tongue lash over every little spot she kissed. “Let me enjoy you. I have wanted this for such a long time…”

Liara moaned, and Shepard felt the pressure from her hands ease up just a little bit but they stayed in her hair. Shepard continued to kiss down onto her shoulder, down over her collarbone and up to her jaw again, before giving Liara a quick peck on the lips.

“You are just teasing me…” Liara moaned, her eyes screaming for more.

Shepard smiled, before placing a big wet kiss right above Liara’s left breast. Her hand slid slowly up from the bed and rested along the curve of her right breast, and Shepard cupped it carefully while she took the left nipple against her lips, slowly lashing her tongue over it before sucking it gently into her mouth. Her other hand rubbing the nipple between her thumb and index finger.

“Goddess,” Liara whimpered, and Shepard pulled back to look at her once again. Her face was flushed, freckles standing out darker than Shepard had ever seen them. Liara’s eyes closed shut.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.”

When Liara did, Shepard’s heart did a double punch inside her chest. Her jaw dropping open in a groan.

Black tendrils were already reaching for Liara’s pupils, trying to drown all the blue and engulf it in darkness.

“Oh god,” Shepard breathed, feeling herself pulse desperately with want. She squeezed her thighs together to try to alleviate some of the torture, but it didn’t help much when Liara stared at her like that.

Shepard placed her lips against her nipple again. This time not moving her eyes away from Liara’s to make sure she was paying attention to everything Shepard was about to unleash upon her. She continued to kiss her way down over her stomach, slowly licking a circle around her navel, making Liara giggle. Shepard did it again and again just to coax the same wonderful sounds.

“Shepard!” Liara gasped, while her body twitched from the tickling sensation.

Now Shepard was closing in on her real target. She had Liara squirming in front of her, while she kissed down onto her thigh. Liara jerked up violently from the bed, and Shepard managed to pull back fast, not giving in to what Liara so desperately wanted.

“Not yet…”

But Shepard wasn’t sure how long she was going to be able to stay away. As she kissed her way to the inside of the blue thigh, her eyes dropped from Liara’s, and they focused directly at the prize Shepard was so eager to get to. Liara spread her legs wider, and Shepard gasped as the scent hit her. Liara was so warm and throbbing, a perfect purple going darker and darker, and Shepard wanted to find out just how much darker it could get. As much as she craved to taste, she knew that if she did, she would not be able to pull herself away again. So instead she trailed her hand up along Liara’s leg and gently slid one finger closer and closer until it rested just below her sex. 

“Shepard…” Liara panted above her, her eyes almost fully black as she was staring down at her.

Shepard let her index finger slowly slide through Liara’s azure, coating it with her wetness. Liara screamed out, lifting her hips up from the bed as Shepard slipped her finger from her very center and up over her clit, before pulling it away entirely. Shepard waited for Liara’s desperation to reach her when she fully understood that Shepard wasn’t touching her anymore. Her eyes shot open glaring at Shepard.

Shepard put the finger to her lips and licked it clean, humming when Liara’s taste hit her tongue. Her eyes never wavering from the blackness looking down at her.

Suddenly, Shepard lost her gravity as she found herself being pulled up into the air, floating around like she was in a bubble. Liara got up from the bed and walked around her, slowly turning her wrist, while at the same time turning Shepard around. Her back now against the bed.

“Two can play this game…” Liara purred before she flicked her wrist in a flash of blue and Shepard found herself thrown back onto the bed. 

“You know, Shepard-” Liara walked towards her, and suddenly Shepard lost her breath completely. The way Liara moved like she almost flowed across the floor, leaning down onto her hands and knees crawling up over Shepard’s body. “-you still have all your clothes on. I want you naked. Now.”

With another spark of blue Shepard’s shirt was split open down the middle, and Liara pulled the fabric away to unveil her bra. When her purple lips came down onto the top of Shepard’s breast for the first time, she gasped loudly and bucked her hips up, catching against Liara’s stomach.

“Patience, Shepard. It was your idea to take this so slow…”

Shepard had no way of finding any spare breath to speak with. She laid there almost gasping for air as Liara kissed down her stomach and bit down on the top of her hip. When Liara stopped to unbutton her pants, Shepard leaned up on her arms, threw her ruined shirt away and unclasped her own bra. She threw it away in haste, and watched as Liara took the zipper of her pants between her teeth and pulled…

“Fuck!” Shepard groaned, bucking up against Liara’s mouth. Now she was the one losing all control, and she was amazed at how easy Liara could undo her.

Liara laughed with a low and raspy voice before she opened the pants and kissed Shepard right at the junction of her thighs before she started to pull her pants further down.

Liara suddenly gasped, and Shepard had to stifle a laugh.

“Jane?”

“Yeah?”

“May I?” Liara looked with excitement down at what she had unveiled.

Shepard couldn’t stop herself from laughing, “Yes, please.”

Liara made another small gasp as she ran her fingers through the short patch of red hair she had just unearthed.

“Were you this excited when you found that Prothean artifact too?”

Liara dug her fingernails into Shepard’s skin and shot her a look. “Not even close…”

“ _ Oh _ …”

Liara abandoned the hair and removed Shepard’s pants all the way before she laid down on top of her, pressing their bodies together. Liara suddenly reversed their position, and Shepard found herself on top of the asari, surprising her once more. Liara spread her legs wider and Shepard planted herself as close she could get. Their sudden craving for proximity seemed to overwhelm them.

“I want to feel you on top of me… I need you.” Liara said, her eyes suddenly turning serious as their blue color was starting to return.

“Seems like I can't let my dear doctor T'Soni wait any longer.”

Shepard watched as Liara’s lips curled into a smirk, before she swiftly slid down her body and settled between her legs again. She kissed the inside of the blue thigh before shooting Liara one last glance.

“Are you absolutely sure you want this?”

“Yes,” she said breathlessly.

Liara’s answer was so resolute, Shepard didn’t hesitate any longer. She trailed the inside of Liara’s thigh with quick wet kisses before grabbing her thighs with both hands, holding her in place. Shepard let the flat of her tongue run all the way through Liara’s folds up to the ridge of her clit, savoring the wonderfully salty and delicate taste that spread through her mouth. Liara arched up from the bed, but Shepard tightened her hold around her hips and pulled her back down, before licking her again and again. The same broad strokes making Liara push up against her mouth, smearing Shepard's chin with wetness. 

“Goddess, Shepard…” Liara moaned, moving her hands down into Shepard’s hair, pushing her closer to herself. 

The hold in her hair was almost painful, Liara’s nails digging into her scalp, but Shepard knew Liara needed this. She hummed into her folds as she licked up to her clit and put her lips around it, kissing it a couple of times first before sucking it into her mouth. Liara screamed out as Shepard used the tip of her tongue to lash directly at the sensitive bud.

As Shepard continued doing wonders with her mouth, Liara’s breath came in more and more shallow while her moans grew louder and louder. Shepard could feel that she was close, and she let go of one of her thighs and moved her hand up along Liara’s stomach and cupped one breast, pinching the hardened purple nipple between her fingers.

“Shepard!” Liara cried out as she suddenly jerked up from the bed, her hands pulling even tighter in Shepard’s hair. She felt the sensation in her lower abdomen build until she couldn’t hold back any longer. A warm fuzzy feeling spread throughout her whole body, and she tensed up before she released, bucking her hips up again and again, catching against Shepard’s chin. She felt like her orgasm lasted for several minutes before Shepard pulled her warm mouth away to look up at her.

“Goddess, Shepard… That was-”

“Amazing,” Shepard interrupted, before she wiped her mouth on the inside of her thigh and crawled back up to lie on top of Liara. She settled down over her trembling body, resting herself on her arms, while she stroked Liara’s cheek. The look in Liara’s eyes made Shepard’s heart swell up and a big grin spread across her face.

“You are so beautiful, Liara.”Shepard leaned down and took her lips, moving them slowly together, but she pulled back when Liara suddenly sobbed into her mouth. She fixed her eyes on the shining blue staring up from under her.

“What’s wrong?” Shepard whispered, cupping Liara’s face with one hand.

Liara’s tears fell down her cheeks, “I’m just so sorry it took me such a long time to realize-”

Shepard put one finger to Liara’s lips, silencing her.

“It doesn’t matter now. I would have waited an eternity for you anyway."

"Shepard?" 

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" A smile tugged on Shepard’s face. She knew those were happy tears. Liara's eyes couldn't lie.

"I love you. I love you so much. I can't believe that I waited so long and caused you so much pain."

"You didn’t cau-" Shepard couldn't end her sentence as Liara interrupted her, "Please, let me finish this."

"Okay. I am listening to every word you have to say, Liara."

"I am sorry for hurting you. I am sorry for making you wait this long. I am sorry for being so indecisive and stupid. Will you be able to forgive me?"

"No," Shepard said firmly. Liara's eyes widened in surprise, and she recoiled. 

"I can't forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. It's in the past now and there is nothing we can do to change what has happened... I understand why you might feel like you've hurt me. But you followed your heart, and that was the right thing to do. And I meant what I said: I would've waited for you until the end of my days."

"I can't believe what you are saying." Liara’s lips tugged into a smile. "But I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I am just overjoyed that you gave me a chance to explain."

Shepard gently kissed her tears away, the salty taste lingered on her tongue. Liara smiled back at her, and her eyes lit up again. Shepard could drown in her beauty and as she was looking down into those perfect pools of blue, she was certain that she wanted to wake up to that perfect face every morning...

"I have to say something as well..." Shepard hesitated before continuing.

"Out with it already, love." 

"Since the incident with Kaidan and Sam, I closed myself off, and I have been reluctant about this sort of commitment. I haven’t been in a relationship since, and I have always refused to meld with the women I brought home... I never wanted anyone to look inside my mind.” Shepard said before she stroked her hand over Liara’s crest and continued.

“But around you, I feel so calm and at peace. You managed to bring me out of my rage-induced frenzies, no one has ever been able to do that before. You are the eye in my storm, you are the shelter in my calamity. I don't know how I got so fortunate, but thank you so much for choosing me. I-"

"Jane, instead of talking, you can show me." Liara interrupted, her eyes sparkling even stronger than before. Her hands still caressing Shepard’s cheeks, and she pulled a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Show you? You mean you want to meld?"

Liara picked up the hesitant tone in her voice and pulled Shepard down for another kiss, much more gentle but with just as much love as before. She broke it off and looked straight into her green eyes, "Yes. Will you join with me, Shepard? Let our bodies and minds unite."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for something that intimate with you. But if you're ready and willing to lead me... Just show me what to do."

Liara didn't need any more approval and caught Shepard's lips in a fierce kiss. She finally gave way to the itching feeling in the back of her mind, and her eyes were consumed by blackness.

"Embrace eternity," Liara whispered.

The meld was instinctive. It had never felt as natural and easy as it felt now. Even with Falere, Liara had never felt this primal draw to another person. Shepard's mind was a beacon, a gravity well pulling her in, and the closer Liara got, the more she felt Shepard's unfiltered emotions. A stream of unconditional love and acceptance poured into her hitting her with such force, it felt overwhelming. Liara had never experienced such pure strength. She should've been prepared for those feelings, especially because Shepard had never melded before, but her mind was something so raw and strong that nothing could have ever made Liara ready for this.

Shepard found herself surrounded by a dark blue light with Liara in her embrace. The contact between their bodies was almost becoming too much, and her nervous system went into overdrive. She sensed more than usual, like she was in two places at once, it was an alien feeling for her.

_ ‘Shepard, it's alright. I am here with you, only you. What you are feeling is just you and me. My reactions, my feelings, my emotions, my responses to your caresses, you can feel them all as well. We both share them here in our little world.’ _ Liara stared at Shepard, and her eyes were twinkling with pure love, adoration and lust.

As Shepard looked around, she was taken aback by their surroundings. Behind Liara, an infinite space opened up. Nothing but blue and violet wisps of biotic power danced around them. 

"Liara, where are we? It's like we're floating in space." Shepard spoke quietly, but Liara picked up on her confusion. Not only did she notice it in her tone, but she also felt everything Shepard was feeling. A mix of hesitation and curiosity filled her.

_ ‘There is no need to talk in here. It's not much different from the melding we did back in your apartment, just think and feel. Here, let me show you something.’ _

Suddenly, Shepard found herself back on Omega, but she was looking upon herself through Liara's eyes. Not only was she seeing what Liara saw back then, but Shepard could feel her emotions and what went through her head.

Shiala hadn't stopped talking about Shepard, but Liara hadn't listened. She was too enamored by the human in front of her. She had been looking Shepard up and down, captured by her prominent muscles and those emerald eyes. Shepard could feel that Liara was solely focused on her, ignoring everything else around her. Everything else looked blurred, but Shepard was clear as the sun. Liara’s stomach had started to flutter, and her head had been spinning.

_ ‘Liara, don't tell me you already felt like this when you first saw me?’ _ Shepard stifled a laugh.

_ ‘Those are my true memories, Jane. What you are feeling now is exactly what I went through that night with Shiala when I first saw you. But this was nothing compared to when you turned around and smiled at us. My legs began to tremble and my hands were shaking. Goddess, I almost dropped my glass of wine. No one has ever made me feel this vulnerable before. I think it was love at first sight, and the more I got to know you, the more I grew to love you.’ _

Liara pressed a light kiss on Shepard's lips. Taken aback by this small gesture and the sensation of feeling herself on Liara's lips, Shepard reeled back a bit.

_ ‘This works similar to the first time we melded, right? In that case, I want to show you what went through my head when I saw you for the first time.’ _

Shepard still had trouble guiding Liara to the right memory. She was overwhelmed by all the emotions and new feelings, but Liara's soothing presence made everything lighter and easier.

_ ‘Just imagine that you are there right now.’ _

The scene shifted, and images flashed rapidly in front of Liara. She only caught a glimpse of them; childhood memories, her days in the alliance and jobs she took on Omega. But one seemed to linger a bit longer. A house in the middle of luscious plains and vibrant flowers that overlooked a deep blue ocean. In the distance, Liara could see different, vague shapes. She guessed those must be people, maybe Shepard’s family. But she couldn't quite figure it out as the image vanished as quickly as it had appeared, and she finally found herself in a familiar setting.

_ ‘You're doing great, Shepard.’ _

Shepard had been walking straight to the bar after finishing up the order Aria gave her. The bartender instantly passed her a whiskey sour, knowing exactly what she needed. Liara felt how relieving the alcohol was for Shepard but, as she put the glass down and collected her thoughts, Liara suddenly heard her own voice. Shepard's head had perked up and looked towards the two asari. She took in both of them, trying to identify the woman who had just spoken. She had noticed that the one on the right, who looked younger and a bit shy, had been staring at her body.

_ ‘Goddess, I was head over heels and staring so badly. I feel like a hormonal maiden again,’ _ Liara thought.

_ ‘I was just as bad sweetheart, but let me show you the full picture.’ _

Shepard had caught the asari's gaze when her eyes finally stopped wandering over her body and locked onto her eyes.

_ ‘I was so transfixed by your eyes, Liara. I've never seen such deep blue and sparkling stars ever before.’ _

Liara felt how Shepard's heart was beating faster and how her hands were getting sweaty. She felt a wave of adoration curse through her body, along with something else, a feeling she recognized.

_ ‘You felt it as well Shepard, didn't you? I wasn't really sure if it was love at first, but when you invited us to Aria's lounge and talked with me, I knew. Even though I was so hesitant for such a long time and told myself that I didn’t know… I was simply lying to myself.’ _

The memory of Omega slowly unraveled around them, and they both found themselves back, floating in their little own world. Shepard had her arms around Liara’s waist, holding her in a tight embrace, and she felt her lover nuzzle her face into the crook of her neck.

_ ‘You make me feel trapped, but I don't want to escape. My pulse is beating higher around you, and I feel this pull towards you. When you look at me, especially when you blush it makes my knees weak and my stomach flutter. I've never felt like this before.’  _

Shepard kissed the top of her crest.

_ ‘You're everything I could ever wish for. Thank you, Li.’ _

_ ‘'Li, huh? I like the sounds of that, Jane.’  _

Liara felt what effect calling Shepard by her first name had on her. She couldn't help but smile into her neck, inhaling her wonderful and now familiar scent. It sent a shiver through Liara’s body, one she also felt running through Shepard.

_ ‘You know, I love sharing my memories and feelings with you in the meld, but remember what I told you earlier: We both feel everything the other experiences.’ _ Liara smirked mischievously as she released her hand on Shepard's back and dragged it ever so slowly over the tip of her crest.

"My god, Liara!" Shepard cried out. "What in the world was that?" 

_ ‘This, my dear, is one way we asari feel pleasure.’ _

Liara's smile grew even wider, and she reached for Shepard's hair and pulled her into a fiery and passionate kiss, while she continued running her fingers over the dips on the back of her head. 

Shepard felt like she was in heaven. This tingling feeling on the back of her head spread throughout her body and settled in her lower abdomen, reigniting the fire she had felt in her body before they melded. She pulled back a bit and stared into Liara's eyes. Shepard lost herself in this navy-blue stare, taking in every single inch of her beauty, drowning in her radiance. Shepard managed to calm herself down a bit, steadying her pulse.

_ ‘Hey, Li. You said that this works the other way around as well, right?’ _

Now it was Shepard's turn to leave Liara breathless. She leaned down and kissed Liara again, relishing the effect she was having on her. She traced Liara’s lips with her tongue, begging for entrance, which her lover gladly allowed. Their tongues brushed slightly at first and Shepard savored the sweet taste. But she wanted more of it and pushed in further, their tongues battling for dominance. Shepard slowly dragged Liara's hand away from her crest, replacing it with her own and moved Liara's unoccupied hand in between their bodies. She scratched lightly along the crevices and mapped every bump and Liara's immediate reaction to her touching her this way. Thanks to the meld, Shepard knew what Liara wanted, needed and desired. Nothing had ever felt as natural for her.

_ ‘Goddess... This feels fantastic! Please, I need more.’ _

Shepard already knew before Liara even thought it. With her other hand, she trailed slow and probing lines up Liara's back and massaged her shoulder blades, eliciting low moans from her lover.

Liara was familiarizing herself with the landscape of Shepard's body. She ran her hand through her soft hair and along her neck, down to her shoulders and over her collarbone. She relished every single shudder and whimper which escaped from Jane. The lower she moved her hand, the slower she went, and soon Shepard was beginning to moan.

_ ‘Liara, I can't take this anymore. Stop tormenting me,’ _ Shepard pleaded.

_ ‘You should know that I feel your desperation, love. It's just as bad for me.’ _ Liara smiled into Shepard's mouth. She pulled back, giving them space to catch their breaths.

But Shepard couldn't keep away from Liara for too long. She left trails of kisses on her cheek and down her jawline. She traced her tongue along her neck and left small bruises with her teeth, making Liara squirm against her.

_ ‘I want you to tell me if something hurts, or if you don't like something, alright?’ _

_ ‘Yes, Shepard, I- I will. But please continue what you are doing. It feels like my skin is on fire and electricity is coursing through my veins. Goddess, I haven't felt like this in a long time.’ _

With slow strokes, Shepard finally reached the destination on the backside of Liara's neck. She had experience with pleasuring asari, but this was something else entirely. Every small movement with her mouth and tongue was perfect thanks to the meld, she knew the exact motions which drove her new lover crazy. Liara turned her head to allow Shepard more freedom. She dragged her tongue along the crevice, and Liara let out a shuddering breath.

Liara finally found enough willpower to move her right hand again. She moved it lower on Shepard's chest, brushing against her nipple. Although Jane whimpered a bit, she didn't relent and stayed on Liara's neck. Liara drew slow circles around her peak and rolled it in between her thumb and index finger. This finally made Shepard pause in her movement.

_ ‘Come here Jane. I need you.’ _

Liara’s left hand pulled on her hair and removed her mouth from the back of her crest. She brought their lips back together, full of vigor and love.

_ ‘I love you, I really do. You're so good to me and my soul.’ _

_ ‘I know Liara, I know. But we haven't even gotten to the main event yet. Maybe that will change your mind,’ _ Shepard jokingly remarked.

_ ‘No, Jane. Nothing will ever convince me otherwise. You are the key to my heart and nothing will ever stop me from loving you. Even if the galaxy will one day be destroyed by evil AI's or consumed in fire, you will be the reason why my heart beats.’ _

Shepard was hit by a tidal wave of raw affection and devotion. It crashed over her, and she felt like she was drowning in this perfect love. She never wanted to breathe anything else than Liara ever again.

_ ‘God. If you keep this up, I'll never want to leave this meld. I want every corner of my mind filled with your presence.’ _

_ ‘I can fill something else besides your mind, Shepard,’ _ Liara whispered, and her grin grew mischievous. 

Goosebumps spread on Shepard's arms and neck. She drew away from Liara's lips and pressed a last kiss on her forehead.

Shepard's hand traced along Liara's soft scales on her shoulder and took in every inch of her. She left small kisses on the path and caressed every patch of skin she could reach. She brushed Liara's upper arm and felt her muscles. Even though Liara spent most of her time behind a desk or in some lab, the effects of her earlier commando training had not gone unnoticed on her body. Shepard's fingers ran lightly along her veins and her mouth followed suit, leaving small kisses on her path. Her featherlight touches made Liara shiver. 

Once she reached Liara's hand, she massaged her palm lightly and kissed the tip of every finger ever so slightly. It was a gesture of immeasurable love and the meld increased this feeling tenfold. Shepard drew Liara's hand to her cheek and she looked up in her eyes.

_ ‘Thank you for being by my side, Liara. I have forgotten what it means to have a home, but I think I finally found a place where I can just feel loved and be at ease.’ _ She closed her eyes and a single tear rolled down her face, but Liara removed it with a stroke of her thumb.

_ ‘Shepard, look at me,’ _ Liara said in the gentlest tone, and Shepard did just that. 

‘ _ That's better, dear. You do know that I feel the exact same love for you?’  _

_ ‘Thank you, Li. You're the best thing that could've happened to me.’ _

_ ‘Show me, Jane.’ _

Shepard drew her cheek away. She placed her own hand inside Liara's again and intertwined their fingers. She propped herself up on her knees and leaned over her lover, leaving a fierce kiss on her lips. 

Shepard didn’t let go of Liara’s hand, and she pressed it down into the mattress while she moved her other hand and trailed her fingertips down from Liara’s cheek, over her collarbone and down over her left breast. Liara instantly arched her back when Shepard drew teasing circles with her thumb around her hardened nipple, trying to press herself into her touch. Shepard watched Liara’s expression turned more desperate as she continued to tease her, the black eyes staring straight at her, almost pleading.

_ ‘Stop teasing me. Please…’ _

Shepard didn’t have the strength to keep up the teasing, she was far beyond that point now. She pressed herself down over Liara’s body, noticing Liara basking in the feeling of being held down by her strong body. She felt that Liara was starting to tremble and slightly shake under her. She spread her legs wider, allowing Shepard all the room she could give her, an invitation Shepard didn’t turn down. She craved Liara more than anything, wanting to experience this intimacy again with the woman she now was certain she loved. She brought her hand further down Liara’s body, her fingertips sliding past her stomach and Shepard gasped as she reached the inside of her lover’s thigh. 

She had to swallow as she felt how wet Liara had become for her. She remembered how wonderful she had tasted, how soft she had felt against her tongue but feeling the effects she had on her with her fingers was something else entirely.

Her expression made Liara giggle, “What is it, Shepard? This is all your doing...” 

“Eh-” Shepard didn’t get a chance to answer as Liara used her free hand and brought it between their bodies, grabbing Shepard’s hand and leading it where she needed it, cupping between her own legs. 

“I want you to touch me now.”

Just as Shepard’s fingers found purchase, Liara moaned, bucking her hips up into the touch, and Shepard had to close her eyes as she could feel exactly the same as Liara was feeling. It felt so real like she was touching herself, only she wasn’t. She rubbed her fingers in slow circles over her clit, relishing the wonderful sounds Liara made. Shepard had to squeeze her thighs together to try to find some sort of friction, but it didn’t help one bit. As incredible as it felt to them both, Shepard continued and moved two fingers down through Liara’s folds, opening her up. Her breathing was increasing rapidly together with her heartbeat as she felt how swollen and ready Liara was for her.

_ ‘Yes, Jane. I’m ready. Now please…’ _

Shepard had to pause for a second before she understood that Liara could hear everything she was thinking, just like she could feel everything Liara was feeling. She tried to focus on giving Liara pleasure as she trailed her fingertips in small circles around her entrance. She looked down into her eyes, waiting for approval to go further. Although Shepard didn’t need it as she could feel how much Liara wanted this, how much she needed her to take her, she still felt it was right. Liara only smiled up at her, her black eyes shining and Shepard moved their intertwined hands up to the side of Liara’s head, supporting herself while she leaned down and took Liara’s lips in a kiss, while slowly pushing her hand forward, her fingers slipping into the slick fluttering heat. It engulfed her, and she pushed on until she couldn’t reach any longer. Liara moaned into her mouth, but Shepard didn’t release her lips. She continued to kiss her, lightly nipping at her bottom lip, while she slowly pulled out before pushing back inside again, using her hips to find the perfect movement.

_ ‘You feel so wonderful…’ _

_ ‘Don't stop…’ _

Liara wrapped her legs up around Shepard’s waist, holding herself in place while Shepard’s thrusts became harder and faster. She could feel the muscles inside Liara fluttering around her fingers, almost pulling her further and further in. She felt so wonderfully soft and slick, and as she added a third finger, she gasped into Liara’s mouth, feeling herself being filled up. It felt so incredibly good, so she curled her fingers forward, dragging them along the perfect spot each time she pulled out. It was easy to find the perfect movement, the right amount of pressure and force because of the meld. 

Shepard looked down at Liara, squeezing her hand harder as she continued to move against her body. Liara was staring straight at her, and suddenly Shepard had to pause her movements. She felt something happen inside her chest, like her heart started beating again. Like it hadn’t been working correctly all these years. Shepard couldn’t remember ever feeling like this. Not even with Sam.

_ ‘It’s okay, Shepard. I feel exactly the same.’ _ Liara smiled, while she moved her free hand up and cupped Shepard’s cheek, stroking her a few times before she moved it into her hair, twirling it around her fingers.

_ ‘It just feels so right with you…’ _

_ ‘Good. And I will never do what Sam did to you. Never.’ _

_ ‘Thank you.’ _

Shepard continued to watch as Liara’s smile grew and she couldn’t help but smile back. 

_ ‘I guess I was lost without you.’ _

Liara grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled Shepard down onto her lips again, sending her waves of love and reassurance while they kissed. Liara moved closer inside Shepard's mind, their souls intertwining even more. She could feel Shepard's heart beat in her own chest as they became one body and one soul. It was becoming hard to draw a line between them. 

_ 'I need you closer.' _

Liara didn't know whom the thought belonged to, but the pull towards Shepard's very core became unbearable. While their bodies were still kissing, Liara continued to move closer and closer, until it was like she could feel Shepard's soul on her fingertips. And she knew it would take so little to get what her mind seemed to crave...

_ 'Closer… I need more.' _

_ 'Not now, love. We have time.' _

Suddenly Liara felt a wave of uncertainty and sadness wash over her. She didn't know if it came from Shepard or herself. Maybe from the both of them as Liara reeled back slightly inside Shepard.

_ 'We will do this. Later.' _

_ 'Yes...' _

Shepard's thoughts to Liara's proposal hit her with such force. Liara had never felt so happy, never so content. She reach out again, just the tiniest touch into Shepard's bright soul. It pulled her in again, flashing bits and pieces in front of her. 

Shepard's wonderful grin, her green shining eyes, her strength and devotion. These bits and pieces started to fill her up, making Liara feel whole in a way she had never felt before. And suddenly a wave of love crashed over her. Their love meld together to create something so pure, so innocent. So beautiful…

_ 'I want this so much…' _

_ 'I want it too…' _

Something deep inside Liara made her stop. Somehow she managed to pull herself back before it was too late, before the force dragging her in became overwhelming. The unbearable pull from Shepard's soul was so alluring, calling her back, but Liara forced herself away. It made her heart sting with pain, but she knew she had to be the strong one.

_ 'No…' _

_ 'I'm so sorry. I…" _

Liara managed to reel her mind back in, and she tried to steer their thoughts back to what they were doing. She connected with her body, feeling Shepard's fingers still inside her, feeling as her heart was beating fast and the throbbing between her legs intensified. She felt something change in Shepard’s mood again, and she bucked her hips up, pushing herself against the fingers resting inside her.

Shepard accepted all of the emotions Liara poured into her, letting them soothe over her soul, and soon she felt other emotions wash over her as well. All of Liara’s lust and arousal crashed over her, starting up the fire inside her stomach again. And when Liara pushed herself against her fingers, taking her own pleasure, Shepard felt a jolt ran through her spine and down between her legs.

_ ‘You sure know how to get me started again, don’t you.’ _

_ ‘I wouldn’t be a very good asari if I didn’t.’  _ Liara smirked up at her, her eyes burning with desire.

Shepard started moving again, slow at first but then she noticed how Liara was urging her on, and soon they picked up the same perfect rhythm as before. 

Liara’s breath grew heavier and more frantic, her eyes now completely shut. Shepard had to put her forehead against Liara’s, while she closed her eyes as well. Trying to keep her focus. She was afraid watching Liara like this would make her come even without any real physical touch. And she did not want this to end yet. Their moans grew louder and their chests heaved against each other while their bodies shimmered in a light sweat. Liara met Shepard’s every thrust with perfection, and they fell into this perfect rhythm only bringing them closer to the edge. Shepard brought her thumb up and started rubbing it against Liara’s clit, making the asari starting to squirm under her, her legs wrapping harder around Shepard’s waist.

“Goddess…” Liara whimpered out loud, squeezing Shepard’s sweaty hand and digging her nails into her skin.

Shepard cried out as the feeling between her legs suddenly intensified. She opened her eyes and looked down between their bodies and saw that Liara had moved her hand in between her legs, and Shepard tried to wriggle them further apart to give Liara more room. She felt herself clenching down around Liara’s slender fingers as they moved inside her, just the way she was moving inside Liara. It was the final drop, and Shepard couldn’t hold back any longer.

_ ‘Li… I-I’m gonna-’ _

_ ‘Come with me, Jane.’ _

Shepard recognized the signs as Liara’s body starting to tremble, and she clamped down around her fingers, locking her in place while she fell over the edge. She felt her own body tense, like a string pulled too tight, ready to snap. She squeezed Liara’s hand hard, needing something to hold on to as she felt herself release all of her build up tension. Blue wisps of biotics danced over their bodies as Shepard’s head slid into the nook of Liara’s neck and she bit down, feeling Liara arch up under her, their sweaty bodies rubbing against each other while she screamed out both outside and inside Shepard’s head. Shepard felt her hand getting soaked, Liara spilling out and over her wrist, as Shepard continued to curl inside her, coaxing every response she could get from her lover, wanting her orgasm to last as long as possible.

Suddenly Shepard felt something shift around her. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself back in the safe embrace of Liara, their naked bodies still intertwined. Her fingers inside Liara, and Liara’s inside her. She could still feel their orgasm running through their bodies, but in a very different way. They were back in their own little world inside their heads. She focused her gaze on the love in front of her, her blue eyes sparkling from the light around them. The look they shared said it all as they both moved their free hand up and cupped each others cheek. Taking comfort in each others touch, the warm feeling of their bodies pressed together. They fitted perfectly, like they were meant for this. 

_ ‘Maybe we are, Jane.’ _

Shepard looked down into the deep pools of blue, and an overwhelming feeling of love and wonder filled her up, making her heart swell so big, it started to feel constricting inside her chest.

_ ‘Yeah. I think we are.’ _

_ ‘Now, let’s finish this.’ _

_ ‘Don’t leave, Liara… I don’t want it to end.’ _

_ ‘This is not the end. It’s only the beginning. We will be back here again. Like I said, this is ours now. No one else's.’ _

_ ‘Ours…’ _

Shepard closed her eyes again, as she started to feel her physical body more intensely. Suddenly she was back in her bed again, lying on top of Liara, feeling the meld starting to unravel. Even if they had seemed so calm inside the meld, outside it they were both trying to catch their breaths as they rode through their shared aftershocks.

“Wow!”

Shepard slumped onto her back beside Liara on the bed, completely spent, her chest heaving. Liara's ragged breaths were slowly getting more calm and less frequent.

"By the Goddess, Shepard. That was mind-blowing, you made me feel ecstatic. I love you so much, I don't think I will ever leave you alone again," Liara remarked.

"Neither will I Liara. I've never experienced a meld before, you know that, but this surpassed all my expectations a hundred fold. It was truly amazing and you were fantastic, my dear."

Liara shuffled closer to Shepard, draped her legs over her lover and laid her head on Jane's chest, listening to the steady heartbeat. Shepard wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her further in. The contact with Liara's skin felt warm and familiar. She could spend the rest of her life looking down on this perfect woman in her embrace. She would never need anything more.

Shepard closed her eyes while she listened to Liara's breathing returning back to normal, even a tad deeper and calmer than usual. Shepard guessed that she has already fallen asleep. She leaned down a bit, pressing her lips in a light kiss on the top of her crest.

"You're without a doubt the best thing to have ever crossed my path. I can't imagine my life without you anymore," Shepard whispered. "I love you, Liara. I love you so much."

And with that, Shepard fell asleep. Her head filled with happy memories and thoughts about her lover. She would finally be able to sleep truly peaceful and calm for the first time in years.

"I know, Jane," a quiet voice spoke.

  
  



	15. Afterglow

The first thing Liara noticed when she woke up, was the hot breath tickling the top of her crest. She opened her eyes slowly and blinked a couple of times before she truly managed to take in her surroundings. She was lying in Shepard’s bed with a pale arm under her head. Shepard's arm. Liara lifted her hand and trailed her fingers along it slowly and moved towards the open, unoccupied hand. She noticed how Shepard’s arm slightly twitched from the tickling sensation of her fingertips. She intertwined her own fingers with Shepard's and felt how her new lover squeezed their hands together. Shepard stretched and brought her other arm over and around Liara’s abdomen and their legs were tangled together. Liara felt her heart flutter in an instance. She couldn’t believe it at first, but then the hold around her body tightened, and she was pulled in closer to the warm chest behind her. She loved the feeling of Shepard's naked warm body pressed against her own.

"You are not going anywhere, are you?" a perfect voice whispered behind her, making Liara’s heart do a double jump inside her chest.

"Never."

"Good."

Liara could not help her lips from stretching into a giant smile, and she closed her eyes again and pressed herself further into Shepard’s warm and strong chest. She put her free hand over Shepard’s, resting them on her stomach and intertwined their fingers there as well. Liara lay still, feeling Shepard's chest rise and fall with such a calm and soothing rhythm. And this time Liara knew, she could lie like this for as long as she wanted to. The feeling brought tears to her eyes, and she turned her head slightly and kissed the arm under her head.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Come here."

Liara turned around in Shepard's arms and looked up at her new lover. When she saw the familiar grin on Shepard's face, she suddenly felt so giddy, instantly blushing, and Liara buried her face into Shepard’s neck. 

"What?" Shepard chuckled while tightening her arms around Liara, pressing their bodies together. "It's a bit too late to be embarrassed now.”

Liara pulled her head back and caught Shepard’s lips instead, denying her any more chances to tease her. She closed her eyes while their lips moved slowly together, a perfect rhythm almost like they had done this a million times before.

_ It's so perfect. She is so perfect. _

Liara released Shepard’s lips with a soft pop and pressed their foreheads together. She opened her eyes and stared straight into what she now knew was her favorite color.

"I love you too," Shepard said.

When the words hit, Liara felt something starting to stir up inside her again. She pushed Shepard over on her back and followed along herself.

Shepard moved her hands and trailed them up and down on each side of Liara’s back, making her shiver from the soft caresses. She caught Shepard’s lips again, and this time the kiss grew more desperate as they went on. Liara wanted to drown in this perfect human. Shepard’s taste was the best she had ever had, better than any Thessian wine. Even better than strawberries and chocolate. When Shepard’s tongue slowly lashed again her own, Liara relished the wonderful feeling, humming against her mouth. She completely lost herself in this feeling, and it was only when Shepard gasped into her mouth that Liara pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Remember, I'm only human. You might be able to hold your breath longer, but if you keep this up, you’re going to kill me. And I might even let you." 

Liara’s lips turned into a mischievous smile, "Mmm. I really don’t want to do that, Jane." 

"Good. Because I would have hated for that to happen now that I just got you."

Liara started to giggle, and she watched how Shepard’s smile grew bigger. “What is it?”

“I just love the sound of your laughter… Now please continue kissing me,” Shepard pleaded.

Liara didn’t need to be asked twice.

As their lips crashed together again, Shepard’s hands started to trail up Liara’s body, not stopping before she reached the folds under the tip of her crest. She started to stroke her gently and prodded the perfects spots, making Liara whimper into her mouth. Thanks to the night before, Shepard knew exactly where to touch to coax these reactions from her.

Their kisses grew more desperate and frantic, hand’s were roaming along their bodies, trying to touch and feel every inch at once. When Shepard pressed one thigh in between Liara’s legs, Liara instantly grinded down against it before she felt herself blushing. The mix of her steadily rising arousal - the warmth spreading quickly through her body and down between her legs, and the slight embarrassment of wanting Shepard so much, raged inside her body. Liara could not remember ever needing someone as much as she craved Shepard's touch. It was almost as Shepard could read her mind, even if they hadn't melded yet. But Shepard moved both her hands down from Liara’s crest, and they settled on each of her thighs and Liara pulled back from her mouth, watching as her lover’s eyes widened, Shepard’s fingers digging into her thighs, almost dragging Liara against her naked skin along her leg.

“Does that feel good?”

“Y-Yes…”

Liara had to close her eyes when she felt herself going a darker shade of purple. Still, she could not stop her hips from moving against Shepard. She could feel Shepard's eyes staring at her, those green sparkling eyes full of lust, and it did certainly nothing to help the craving she felt deep inside her body. Liara continued to slide against Shepards skin, finding the perfect friction her body needed. The fluttering between her legs increased when she felt Shepard’s leg getting wetter and her fingers were digging harder into her thighs.

“Liara?” Shepard's voice was deep, her breath was heavy, and Liara dared to open her eyes. She watched Shepard’s eyes burning with desire, and she pulled herself up into a sitting position, placing both her hands on Shepard’s chest to support herself. She cupped both of Shepard's breasts and gave them a squeeze, feeling her nipples hardening against the palm of her hands.

_ She wants me. Just as much as I want her... _

Liara felt the throbbing between her legs grow worse together with the pounding inside her head. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to hold back, she craved to link with Shepard’s mind again. Liara locked her eyes with Shepard’s, certain that they were starting to turn black from the look on her lover’s face. Suddenly, Shepard released the hold on her thigh and brought one hand in between Liara’s legs, and Liara lifted her hips to allow Shepard more room. When Shepard’s hand cupped between her legs, Liara could not hold back the loud groan that escaped her throat. 

“Jane. Please. I need...”

“What do you need?” Shepard asked.

Liara shuddered, “I need you to- I want you inside me.”

She raised her hips, hoping Shepard would give her what she wanted, and she let out a loud shuddering breath as she lowered herself onto Shepard’s fingers. She threw her head back, releasing a loud moan while her fingernails were digging into Shepard’s chest, leaving scrape marks on her skin. 

“Fuck. You feel so good,” Shepard breathed, her fingers curling inside in a perfect way.

Shepard used her own thigh to help her find the perfect force behind her thrusts, and Liara met her motions halfway. The pressure inside her head started to grow unbearable. The feeling of having Shepard deep inside her, filling her up in every way, was overtaking Liara's mind. She found it hard to hold herself up, and when Shepard suddenly pulled all the way out of her, before pushing inside her again, Liara fell forward onto Shepard’s chest, pressing their lips together. Each thrust and curl pushed Liara closer to the edge. She pulsed and throbbed around Shepard’s fingers, needing her lover closer in every way possible. The kiss was hard to maintain, so Liara pulled back and groaned into Shepard’s neck, while her hands fisted in Shepard's hair.

“Shepard! I- I need...”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Meld with me.”

“Embrace eternity…” 

Liara was amazed that she managed to form words, and she threw her mind out towards Shepard’s. She was instantly let inside, and as their minds connected, she felt Shepard twitch under her from the shared experience of the meld. This time it wasn’t about going to their own secret place. No, Liara was far to gone for that. Now, the sole focus was pleasure, taking what she needed from the person she wanted so desperately. The only one she wanted inside her body and mind. Liara was feeling overwhelmed. Even after the meld last night, she wasn’t prepared for the force of Shepard’s spirit, her unstoppable emotions. Shepard’s mind kept spilling into Liara, filling her up and making both of their hearts pound inside their chests.

“Oh god…” Shepard moaned when all the sensations and feelings hit her.

Liara moved freely inside Shepard’s mind. There were no barriers for her to overcome. Shepard had opened up to her so completely, that Liara felt her heart swell in her chest.

_ 'I trust you with all that I am.' _

Shepard's thoughts and feelings continued to pour into her. The emotions shared between them was so strong, Liara suddenly felt the need to break off the meld to be able to breathe properly. She had never felt so full before, almost like she was ready to burst. But she didn’t pull away from Shepard, instead she went deeper intertwining their souls into one. 

_ ‘You are so wonderful…’ _

_ ‘Please, don’t stop.’ _

_ ‘I won’t.’ _

Liara managed to move one hand down between their bodies, finding Shepard’s breast again and tweaking her brown nipple between her fingers, feeling Shepard’s body shiver from the sensation. Shepard continued to thrust inside her, adding a third finger and curling them in such a delicate way, hitting all the right places at once. Liara pulled herself up from Shepard’s chest again, dragging her up with with the use of her biotics. Shepard snaked her free arm around Liara’s waist, pressing their bodies together while she latched onto Liara’s neck, her teeth digging into her skin. 

_ ‘Mine… No one else’s.’ _

It was something so possessive, so animalistic in the way Shepard craved her. Liara could feel it. Shepard desperately wanted her, and only her. No one else would ever be good enough. It sent Liara hovering over the edge.

_ ‘Goddess, Jane.’ _

_ ‘I can’t...’ _

_ ‘Don’t hold back for me, love.’ _

When Shepard moaned into her skin and bit down even harder, Liara couldn’t hold back anymore. She threw her head back in a scream, feeling her inner muscles clamping down around Shepard’s fingers, almost pushing them out, but Liara slammed her hips down, desperate to keep Shepard inside. A thought formed in her head, or maybe it was coming from Shepard. It was impossible to tell since they were so tangled together in the meld. 

_ 'No one else but you.' _

_ 'Never.' _

Liara kissed Shepard hard, swallowing their moans while her contractions continued to rage through her body. Her release was so powerful and earth-shattering, Shepard started squirming beneath her. First her body tensing up before she released a shuddering breath into Liara's mouth followed by a loud groan, falling over the edge herself. Liara continued the kiss until they were both so spent, they fell back down on the bed again, coming down from their shared peak. Shepard slowly pulled out of Liara, leaving a wet trail along her thighs. They were sweaty and sticky but neither of them cared. All that mattered was them. Together.

_ ‘Please stay. I love to feel you inside my mind…’ _

Liara nuzzled her face into Shepard’s neck, breathing in the scent of sex, sweat and the familiar smell of Shepard. All blended together in perfection.

_ ‘We are inside each other’s minds, Shepard. Our souls merged together into one. And I love it so much as well. I feel so safe here…’ _

_ ‘I know Li, I feel it all. And you know that I feel the same. You can shelter me from anything.’ _

_ ‘I will. I promise I will try.’ _

_ 'I love you.'  _

Liara started to giggle as the thought hit them both in unison. The meld was becoming too strenuous to maintain, and she felt Shepard tighten the hold around her body when their minds slipped further and further apart.

_ ‘I’m still here, love. I won’t leave.’ _

_ ‘Thank you.’ _

Liara lifted her head up from the warm and safe neck and stared into Shepard’s eyes. “I’m not gonna leave,” she reassured.

Shepard only grinned back before she pressed their lips together, slowly letting her tongue slide over Liara’s lips, before kissing the corner of her lips and her jaw once.

“I won’t let you leave either,” she smirked, making Liara chuckle. “I’m always gonna make sure you don’t run off to something more important.”

Liara cupped Shepard’s face with her hand. “More important than you? I cannot see what that would be, Jane.”

Shepard scoffed at her, her grin rubbing off on Liara. She smiled mischievously and watched as Shepard tried to interpret her expression.

"What are you up to?" she quizzed.

"Hmm…" Liara hummed while she pushed herself up on her hands and started to move down Shepard's body. She held Shepard's gaze and put her mouth right over on of her breasts and bit down gently above the nipple. Shepard hissed while her body arched up, and Liara couldn't hide her smile. She loved the way Shepard responded to her touch. Even just the slightest sensation seemed to drive her crazy. 

Liara continued down Shepard's body, leaving a trail of saliva while her tongue snaked down towards her goal. The taste of salty sweat from Shepard's body felt amazing on her tongue, and her azure throbbed in excitement again when she reached her goal. She settled herself between Shepard's legs and cast her lover one last look.

"This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time."

Liara used her thumbs to spread Shepard open before she let her tongue run through her very center, lapping up every drop of sweetness she could find. Shepard bucked up against her face before Liara suddenly felt both her hands on her crest.

"F-Fuck!" Shepard moaned, throwing her head back onto the pillow, her eyes closing.

Liara continued to use her tongue in such a delicate way, with broad strokes to be sure to taste and cover all of Shepard. Slowly twirling around her throbbing clit each time she reached it, before running her tongue down through her folds again, teasing her entrance. 

"Mmm, you taste to wonderful, Shepard," Liara hummed into her, feeling Shepard starting to tremble from the vibrations.

Liara repeated the same motion again, feeling as Shepard's hold on her crest got tighter, and Shepard squeezed her thighs together around her head. Liara lifted her eyes and watched the muscles in Shepard's toned abdomen spasm, a light sheen of sweat covering her whole body. Shepard's breath was coming in shallow and quick, and from the way her body rocked and trembled, Liara knew she was close.

Shepard moaned when Liara sealed her lips around her clit, gently sucking it into her mouth. She moved one hand up and raked her nails along Shepard's abdomen, feeling her fluttering muscles under her fingertips. Liara felt her clit throb in her mouth, and she lashed her tongue against the tip, sure that this would push Shepard over the edge. Liara loved the feeling of Shepard unraveling in front of her. She loved feeling the muscles in her body tense and twitch especially when Liara knew, she was the reason for it. She desperately wanted to meld again, wanted to share these sensations with Shepard, but Liara held back. She wanted to be truly able to experience Shepard falling apart under her touch, and she knew it would be hard to focus solely on her lover if they melded. 

"Oh fuck!" Shepard screamed out while she dug her nails into Liara's crest, pushing her hard against herself. Her release was so powerful her body arched up from the bed, and Liara tried to follow her movements, feeling her chin getting covered in pulses of warmth. She released the seal around her clit and slid her tongue down, wanting to taste as much as she could. She continued to use her mouth until she felt Shepard's body starting to relax, slowly coming down from her peak. 

When the hold on her crest loosened, Liara pulled her head up and rested on the inside of Shepard's thigh. She licked her lips, thoroughly happy about the way she had managed to undo her. Liara placed one hand over the patch of red hair and played with it while she looked up Shepard's quivering body and into her eyes.

"That was… very good, Li. Wow," Shepard breathed, putting her hands under her head.

"I am glad you liked it. I liked it very much as well," Liara chimed, before moving up and resting her head on the pillow beside her. Shepard turned around facing her, kissing her freckles and nose before she cupped Liara’s face, stroking her gently.

“Tell me why we used so much time to get here. I can’t believe it. Had I known…”

Liara could not help smiling, her whole body was beaming with joy. “I guess I needed to do things right. I needed to be absolutely sure-”

“Are you sure?” Shepard interrupted, uncertainty flashing quickly in her eyes.

“Yes. I have never been more certain of anything in my life, Jane.” Liara stroked Shepard's cheek and pressed their foreheads together, closing her eyes.

"I really am sorry that I put you in this situation though. I'm not sorry you chose to be with me, but how I acted while you-"

Liara sighed. "Stop that right now," she said with a stern tone to her voice. "I was the one who came here and intervened in your life."

Liara felt Shepard move and suddenly her mouth was covered by the human’s soft lips. The wonderful taste that was all Shepard spread through her mouth, and warmth passed through her whole body. It was just a quick kiss, leaving Liara wanting more as she tried to follow when Shepard drew away. She opened her eyes when she heard Shepard laughing.

"I'm very glad that you did intervene. I was having a rather boring life before you came into it."

Liara raised one eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that getting into random firefights and getting constantly shot at is considered boring to you?"

"Well…"

"Then how am I going to keep you entertained, Jane?"

Shepard's lips curled into a smirk. "I bet I can think of at least one way…"

Liara started laughing and pushed Shepard playfully away from her. "You are just teasing me now."

"I'm not! I find it very entertaining when you-"

"Stop!" Liara chuckled, placing both hands over Shepard's mouth while she slid on top of her again, pushing her lover down into the pillow. She felt a blush taking over her entire face and creeping up her crest. "Please stop."

Shepard could not stop smiling while she mumbled into Liara's hands, "You know I find you even more adorable when you blush."

Liara lowered her head into the nook of Shepard's neck hiding her face to let the blush run its course. "And I find you impossible sometimes."

"Just sometimes?"

Liara kissed her neck twice before running her hands into Shepard’s messy hair. She supported herself on her elbows, completely caging in Shepard's head while she started to run her hair through her fingers.

"Mmm, that feels nice," Shepard coed, looking up into Liara's eyes. 

"I agree. I have always been very fascinated with human hair. It was one of the first things I noticed about you and one of the first things I wanted to touch on your body."

Shepard chuckled, grabbing the sheets and pulled it over the both of them before she put her hands onto Liara’s back, gently stroking her up and down.

"You mean, if I gave you a choice the first time we met between kissing me or touching my hair, you would have chosen the hair?"

"Who says I couldn't have done both?"

Liara dug her fingers into Shepard’s scalp and pulled her in for another kiss. She gently massaged Shepard’s head while she continued to kiss her, letting her tongue slowly enter Shepard’s mouth, sliding it against her lover’s. It wasn't before Liara felt Shepard started to struggle with the need to breathe, that she pulled back.

“You really are going to be the death of me, aren’t you?”

“Mmm…” Liara hummed, closing her eyes for a second when the memories of yesterday’s meld hit her.

Shepard must have noticed the shift in her expression.

“Li, what’s wrong?”

Liara opened her eyes again, meeting Shepard’s. “I just remembered. There is something we need to talk about.”

Worry formed on Shepard’s forehead, “What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Liara shook her head. “Quite the opposite actually. I don’t know if you noticed it when we melded yesterday, but I almost…” Liara stopped herself, biting her lip, afraid to speak her mind. She was afraid to scare Shepard away. Shepard had been so clear before when they had spoken of this topic, of children.

“But you almost what, sweetheart?”

“I almost mapped your DNA,” Liara blurted out. “I- It was so hard to stop, I have never experienced that before. Never lost control like that…”

Shepard looked into Liara's eyes, her face full of worry, "Hey. It's okay. Nothing happened… Did it?"

Liara sighed while her eyes dropped down, "No, I managed to stop myself before it was too late."

"Is my DNA really that irresistible?" Shepard smirked, and Liara recognized the teasing tone in her voice. She looked up again into Shepard's eyes and saw her wonderful smile spreading over her face.

"Do you even know how asari reproduction works, Shepard?"

"Yeah, I know the gist of it…" Shepard placed a quick kiss on Liara's lips before continuing, "I haven't melded before so what I experienced yesterday was something entirely new altogether. I remember feeling this incredible pull, like I couldn't get you close enough-"

"Like our bodies became one. Our souls as well." Liara finished for her. 

"Yeah… But I also remember wanting something more. I don't know how to explain it properly." Shepard put her hand on her neck, rubbing it.

"I understand what you mean," Liara said. "But I am sorry for losing my control like that. I shouldn't have let it get that far. Especially when you have told me…" 

"What? Hey…" Shepard cupped Liara's face, stroking her cheek reassuringly.

Liara felt that her eyes were starting to tear up, but she tried the best she could to suppress the tears. She sighed again, shaking her head. She knew where these thoughts came from. She remembered her conversation with Aethyta with perfect clarity. Shepard was a human, and with her lifespan, they would never get to have enough time together. Even if they were to get children, Shepard would never be able to watch them grow up entirely. She would have so little time with them, and so little time with Liara. Time was already cut so short for them… Of course, Shepard didn't want children when she knew she would never be able to follow them through life. When she knew she would leave them just like her own parents had been taken away from her. Liara had to close her eyes before it got too much. 

These feelings that suddenly raged inside her, it was stupid really. They had only just found each other, and now Liara was breaking down because of a possible child? Shepard had been very clear about it, and Liara remembered how that sentiment had stung her very heart the first time she had heard it, even if she had no right to feel that way.

She cut off her thoughts on this subject. It would be for another time. Later, when this would become an appropriate thing to discuss. She managed to push her tears back, none of them escaping down her cheeks.

"It doesn't matter now. I won't let it happen again."

"I don't want you to hold back with me, Liara. I want all of you. Not just in the meld, but all of  _ you.  _ But I think I would like to have you all to myself for a while..." Shepard said, leaning her head forward and letting her lips linger against Liara's freckled cheek.

"I don’t want to share you with anyone, Blue."

Liara scoffed and instantly arched her eyebrows, "Blue, Jane? Really? How original of you."

Shepard couldn't stop from blurting out in laughter. "What? You are kind of blue."

Liara had to laugh with her, and leaned forward, kissing her lover.

"Besides," Shepard said as she drew back just an inch, "blue is my favorite color, you know."

Liara's lips tugged into a smile, and she spoke softly, "I know. I'll allow it."

"Good."

Suddenly, Liara’s eyes widened.

“What?” Shepard asked.

“What time is it?”

Shepard turned and grabbed her omni-tool from her nightstand. “10:30.”

Liara released her hold in Shepard’s hair and sat on the edge of the bed.

“What?”

“I have to get to work, Shepard! I cannot believe I forgot.”

Shepard sat up and pressed herself up against Liara’s back, her lips kissing the side under her crest. “Let’s go grab a quick shower, and then I’ll drive you.”

Liara turned her head, looking dumbfounded at Shepard, “You will drive me? Not Sheerk?”

Shepard snorted, “I know how to drive, Liara.”

* * *

After a quick shower and a bit too exciting ten minute drive from Shepard’s place, they arrived at the clinic. Liara almost jumped out of the car before Shepard had even managed to park it. 

“Hey, wait,” Shepard called and stepped out of the car, walking up towards Liara. “Let me follow you inside.”

Liara turned, and a smile formed on her lips. “You don’t need to do that, I will be perfectly-”

“But I want to,” Shepard interrupted, grabbing her hand and threading their fingers together. “I wanna show everyone around here how lucky I am, having managed to get you,” she smirked, making Liara’s smile grow even wider.

“And I guess, it would not hurt to show those nurses that you are, how should I put it,  _ taken  _ either.”

Shepard only smiled as she started walking, squeezing Liara’s hand while she walked her inside. She followed Liara through some hallways, and they made a stop before her office door.

“This is my office.”

“Can I come inside and check it out?” Shepard asked. Liara nodded before she used her free hand to unlock the door, motioning for Shepard to step inside first. 

The office was quite small and consisted of several bookshelves with old, worn-out books and papers. They had probably been kept here for years. A small desk with a chair and a monitor was standing in the middle of the cluttered room.

“Huh…” Shepard said, letting go of Liara’s hand and walking up to the small window looking out into one of the alleys.

“What is it?” Liara asked as she was closing the door. She walked over to her desk and set down her purse, piling some papers into a stack next to it.

“It’s just… I kinda thought you would be a bit more, eh, organized?” She turned around and smiled at Liara.

Liara raised an eyebrow back at her. “You think my office is messy?”

“Well…” Shepard looked around it again, shrugging her shoulders.

“Most of these things are not even mine, Jane. Besides, I’m not spending very much time in here-”

Shepard started chuckling, walking up to Liara and put her arms around her waist, pulling her in. “I’m just messing with you, sweetheart. I actually find it quite cute.”

“Oh, you do, do you?” Liara teased back, tilting her head upwards and kissing her human. She felt Shepard tighten the hold around her, and she had to break it off before she got distracted again.

“I have to work now...” 

“Don’t tell me I’m distracting you?” Shepard teased.

“You are quite the distraction indeed.”

“Ok,” Shepard said, pulling back slightly. “When you are done working, call me, and I will come by and pick you up and take you out for dinner. Somewhere nice.”

“Hmm, that does sound rather lovely.” Liara pulled a strand of red hair between her fingers and placed it behind Shepard’s ear. Then she lowered her hands and intertwined their fingers. “And yes, I would very much like that.”

“Good. Now you get some work done, and I’ll come by later.” Shepard leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Liara’s nose, making the asari smile.

“I love you. And don’t do anything stupid now.” Liara said, making Shepard grin.

“I won’t. I promise.” Shepard squeezed her hands before pulling away, walking towards the door. She opened it and turned around one more time before stepping outside the room. 

“Liara?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

* * *

Liara found it hard to focus. 

Three hours in, she was still sitting in her chair leaned over her office desk. She put the pen in her hand between her lips, slightly knocking it between her teeth while she tried to think of more ways to describe the new step of the genophage cure she had witnessed Dr. Solus discover the past weeks. Liara frowned and put the pen back onto the sheet of paper in front of her. She enjoyed using pen and paper when she was writing. She was rather old fashioned that way. Her colleagues at Serrice had often teased her about it, but she couldn't seem to care. Shepard would probably tease her as well if she knew. 

_ Shepard… _

Liara put the pen back between her teeth as she remembered how her girlfriend’s lips had tasted just hours before. 

_ Goddess, I already think of her as mine… _

She bit down harder into the pen as she remembered the way Shepard had kissed her neck, trailed her tongue along the ridges of her crest. How that same tongue had worked between her legs…

Liara instantly squeezed her thighs together when she felt the warm fuzzy feeling spread through her body. Just thinking about Shepard made her squirm in her chair. How was she going to get anything done in this state? She sighed and put the pen down again, afraid she would bite straight through it if she kept it in her mouth.

_ I could call her. Ask her over here again. I bet she wouldn't mind… _

Suddenly a very vivid image flashed before Liara's eyes. Shepard pushing her face down onto her desk. Kicking her legs apart and pushing her skirt up her thighs. Her underwear was gone in a flash of blue as Shepard cannot restrain herself. Her primal strength and lust makes her drive into Liara with such force, almost moving the desk forward as she puts all her weight over Liara, pinning her down while she fucks her-

*Knock knock*

Liara almost jumped out of her seat when the door opened, and she shut down her very naughty thoughts right then and there.

"Dr. T'Soni?" a human man said as he stepped through the door with a large bouquet of flowers in his hand. They were perfectly wrapped up in cellophane, white large roses, probably two dozen of them. 

"Yes. What is it?" Liara answered, hoping her blush wasn't too obvious.

"These came for you. Along with this card."

Liara accepted the flowers and brought them up to her nose. She took in the wonderful smell before she put them carefully down on her desk, taking the card from the man.

"Thank you," she said and closed the door when the man exited.

She walked over to her desk again and opened the card. It was handwritten and Liara's heart instantly did a double beat inside her chest. 

[ I already miss you. Thank you for choosing me, Blue.]

Liara's face was beaming and she put the card down on her desk, turning it to face her chair. She put her hand over her mouth when she thought about how lucky she had been. How lucky she was that Shepard had given her a second chance. Now she couldn't wait for her workday to be over just so she could kiss her girlfriend again.

_ I love you so much Jane. _

* * *

“So, how was work?” Shepard asked while leaning over the dinner table to grab Liara’s hand. She squeezed it lightly, and Liara felt Shepard’s warmth spread through her hand and over her body. They had spent almost two hours talking while enjoying both dinner and dessert. The white Thessian wine that Shepard had picked out had been delicious as well, and Liara couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed a meal so much. 

On a second thought, she remembered the chocolate and strawberries fondly.

Liara threaded their fingers together, watching in awe how their skin colors seemed to match perfectly. “It was… Interesting.”

“How so?”

“It was going rather well until my thoughts started to wander…” Liara said, feeling Shepard’s hand tense in hers.

“Wander where?” Shepard whispered. A grin spread over her face, making Liara blush. 

That only seemed to spur her on. “Come over here.”

Liara scooted closer to Shepard on the couch. When Shepard put her arm around her waist in a rather possessive manner, Liara leaned in and put her lips against Shepard’s. 

Shepard removed her hand from Liara’s and cupped her face instead, before her fingers slowly wandered to the back of her crest, pressing Liara harder against herself. Liara felt her chest starting to flutter when Shepard’s taste spread in her mouth, her tongue lashing against her own. Her own hand wandered up into Shepard’s hair while their kiss deepened.

Suddenly, someone coughed, and Liara’s eyes opened in an instance.

“Oh,” she exclaimed and watched as the asari waitress in front of them was standing with her arms crossed, staring at them. Shepard had moved her mouth onto Liara’s neck, and Liara had to nudge her to get her attention.

“Shepard!”

“What? Oh.” Shepard said as she focused on the asari. 

"Are you done here?" the asari asked annoyingly.

“Yeah sorry, here…” Shepard went into her pocket and grabbed a credit chit, pushing it towards the waitress. 

“This should be enough…”

The asari grabbed it before she huffed and turned around walking away.

Liara frowned. “That was rather rude.”

“Yeah well…” Shepard said, rubbing her neck awkwardly.

Liara turned and looked at her, raising her eyebrows. “Well, what?”

“I kind of know her… Let’s say, we didn’t end on the best of terms…”

Liara sighed, “Goddess, Shepard. Have you been with every asari on Omega?”

“Not  _ every _ asari…” Shepard chuckled before she nudged Liara’s shoulder playfully. “Besides, I have never been with anyone quite like you before.”

“You really do know how to make a girl feel good, don’t you,” Liara teased before leaning in and kissing Shepard again. She withdrew quickly after pressing their lips together, making Shepard wanting more.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, but I think I need to get home now. I'm starting to feel a bit tired."

"Okay. Mind if I crash with you tonight?"

"Crash?" Liara looked puzzled at Shepard who managed to stifle her laugh.

"Stay over. In your bed."

Liara's eyes widened. "Oh. Well, in that case, I would very much like you to 'crash with me'." The smile spread across her face, while she batted her eyelashes, watching as Shepard’s jaw dropped open.

"Then we better get going."

* * *

An hour later, Liara was lying in her bed waiting for Shepard to finish up in the bathroom. She had spent several minutes while she waited to debate with herself if she was going to put on her pajamas or not after her shower. Usually, Liara liked to sleep naked, but now… Now someone else was sharing her bed and she didn't know if…

_ Of course, she won't mind. _

Liara shook her head and sat up. She felt stupid for even considering this. She removed her pajamas and lied down again, pulling the covers up to her shoulders. The thought of lying naked pressed up against Shepard's strong and wonderful body made her stomach flutter, and a slow throb started up between her legs. She hoped Shepard liked to sleep naked as well.

She was startled when the bathroom door opened, and her eyes flew towards her lover. Now it was Liara's turn to drop her jaw. 

Shepard strode out of the bathroom, a towel tied around her waist, and another towel between her hands which she used to dry off her hair. Liara could only watch as the muscles in Shepard’s arms flexed while she dried off her messy head. Liara’s eyes wandered lower, and she managed to stifle a gasp when she took in Shepard’s beautiful breasts.

"Like what you see?"

“Yes.”

Shepard threw the towel in her hands towards Liara, hitting her in the face before she removed the one around her waist and crept up into bed. She chuckled as she pressed herself against Liara, pulling the covers over them both. Liara let herself get pulled into Shepard’s warm embrace, and when Shepard’s lips met hers she felt a tingle spread down from the tip of her crest all the way down her spine and into her toes. Liara cupped her face, letting her lips move against Shepard’s, accepting the tongue which gently pressed into her mouth. Shepard’s hands started to roam over her body before they settled around her waist, and then she got pulled forward, while Shepard lied down on her back. Liara moved on top of her, their lips not breaking apart for a single second. Soon, Liara felt Shepard struggling to breathe. She pulled back slightly, kissing her lover’s neck before resting her head in the crook of it.

“I missed you today,” Liara whispered, feeling as Shepard’s skin got goosebumps.

“Mmm, I missed you too. Very much actually.”

Liara smiled before she kissed Shepard one more time, lingering her lips on her skin, tasting her. She pulled her head back up and looked into the emerald green eyes in front of her. Shepard’s grin made her giggle.

“I bought you something today,” Shepard said, seriousness filling her expression.

"You did?"

“Yeah.” 

Shepard leaned over the edge of the bed, picking up a package Liara hadn’t seen lying there. “I went shopping. There is something I wanted you to have.”

Shepard picked up a rectangular shaped box and moved up against the headboard. Liara followed and sat beside her.

"Open it."

The box was not wrapped, but there was still nothing about it telling Liara what it contained. She removed the lid and the paper covering the content of the box. Liara's eyes widened when she picked up the gun that was neatly stashed inside it.

"A gun? Why would I need a gun?"

Shepard sighed, "I hope you won't ever have to use it. And I will do my best to ensure that, but I can't be there with you every second of every day."

Liara smiled at Shepard, putting the gun safely down on the bed. She knew what this was about, and she knew Shepard felt an incredible need to protect and ensure her safety.

"I need to know that you have some way of defending yourself if something were to happen."

Liara summoned her biotics and let blue light dance inside her palm. "I have my biotics. And besides, I know nothing about how to use a gun."

Shepard grabbed Liara's hand and closed her palm, suffocating the blue light.

"I know that you are a very strong biotic. But a gun would be able to protect you when you don't have any other options-"

"Shepard, please. Stop worrying about me. I will be perfectly fine." Liara leaned in and kissed Shepard on the cheek.

Shepard grunted and turned slightly away, leaving Liara taken aback.

"You don't know that. You know how dangerous this place can be. I mean you have experienced it already, and being with me makes you a perfect target. I have told you this before, now please will you just listen?" she said in a much firmer tone.

"Yes." Liara nodded.

"I would feel so much better leaving you at work if you had that gun with you. I'll teach you the basics, and we'll have to practice a lot for you to get familiarized with it…" Shepard looked into Liara's blue eyes, cupping her face with one hand. "If something were to happen to you. If I would lose you… There is nothing such as being too careful when it comes to you."

Liara smiled and turned her head, kissing the inside of Shepard's palm.

"Ok. I will take it with me."

Shepard let out a relieving breath. "Thank you."

Liara kissed her palm again, "Now, can we please talk about something else?"

"No," Shepard said before she pushed Liara down on the bed, kissing her. Liara whimpered into her mouth as Shepard's hand slid down to caress her breast while she released Liara's lips and started to trail kisses down her jaw and neck. "I wasn't planning on talking anymore tonight."

"Oh. What did you have in mind then, Shepard?" Liara asked as Shepard continued to plant kisses along her neck before she felt teeth digging into her skin. Liara instantly bucked up, locking her legs around Shepard's waist.

Shepard soothed her bite with her tongue before she pulled back, her thumb drawing circles around Liara's nipple. The look in her eyes made Liara's center start to pulse.

"I was planning on putting my mouth to better use. If you don't have any objections?"

When Shepard dipped her head and trailed her tongue down along Liara's collarbone, she couldn't stop the moan from escaping her throat. Her hands instantly went up Shepard's arms, trailing her muscles before they settled in her hair. Liara grabbed a fistful of the red hair and tugged back, forcing Shepard to look at her. When their eyes met, Liara felt a shiver running through her body. Shepard's eyes were burning with lust.

"Actually I do," Liara purred.

Shepard's shocked expression made Liara chuckle. She twisted her wrist, and in a flash of blue she reversed their positions. She grabbed Shepard's hands and pinned them to the bed just to show off her own strength and watching how much Shepard enjoyed it when she did. Liara didn't drop Shepard's gaze while her lips and tongue trailed wet trails down over her body before she quickly settled between her legs, leaving a big wet kiss on the inside of Shepard's thigh.

"Jane?"

Shepard was already panting, and Liara watched how her chest heaved in rhythm with her breathing. Her green eyes never leaving hers.

"Yeah?"

"Embrace eternity."


	16. Never Forget You

"I don't understand… According to the information we got, she should be here."

Shepard opened her omnitool, double-checking the information their sources had sent them.

Aria frowned beside her, surveilling the room one more time. "I think we should leave. There is something off about this…"

"Fuck!" Shepard exclaimed. "I thought we had her this time! Who the hell is she, and how does she managed to stay hidden like this? I mean, your sources should have been able to identify her yet!"

"Calm down, Shepard. We'll find her. But your impatience is starting to annoy me," Aria said in her usual calm tone. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at her friend.

"And I'm getting really annoyed with you telling me to calm down!" Shepard snapped back before closing her omnitool. "It's not like you have anyone to lose. It's not your loved ones she might come after-"

Aria growled and hurtled her biotics Shepard's way, slamming her hard into the wall behind her. Shepard gasped for air when it was knocked out of her as she hit the wall. She crouched while trying to find the ability to breathe again, supporting herself on her knees. It felt like several minutes went by before she was able to draw her breath properly. 

After several successful deep breaths, she scowled at Aria, "What the-"

"Don't you fucking talk to me about losing loved ones!" Aria yelled while walking quickly towards Shepard, pointing a finger in her face. 

Shepard watched as Aria's eyes almost turned pitch black, and she knew she had pushed her friend too far. It wasn't fair given what Aria had gone through earlier, and Shepard of all people should have known better than to throw it in her face. She straightened up, and her expression softened while watching the anguish in Aria's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Shepard sighed, looking into her friend's eyes. "I didn't mean to bring it up. That wasn't fair."

Aria snorted and stepped away, giving Shepard room to catch her breath again. 

"You know I want to find this piece of shit as much as you do. No one threatens my reign or my friends…" Aria turned and walked towards the only window in the otherwise empty room. She leaned her arms on the window-frame and let out a heavy breath. 

Shepard straightened her clothes before stepping up beside Aria. She put her hand on her shoulder in an effort to apologize again.

"I know you do. I'm sorry-"

Suddenly the only door into the room opened, and Grizz stepped inside. "We searched the perimeter all the way around, but we can't find any source for the signal. This looks like a dead-end again. I'm sorry, boss."

Aria sighed before she pushed away from the window and away from Shepard. 

"Let's get back to Afterlife and look over what we have. And tell Tarak, Jaroth, and Garm that they better show up prepared with a good explanation for why their fucking people are going rogue. And tell those fucking sources that next time their information makes me look like an idiot, I will have their fucking heads!" 

Grizz nodded and walked outside with Aria in tow. She stopped when she reached the exit and turned back.

"You coming, Shepard?"

"Yeah, you two just go on ahead. I just need to make a call…"

"She is fine. Now let's get back to-"

*Boom*

Shepard doesn't remember what happened next. All she could see was a white haze and bright light swarming her vision while her head was filled up with this loud high-pitched sound. It clawed inside her mind, forcing her to put her hands over her ears, trying to muffle the sound. It didn’t help at all, and after a couple of seconds, a new sound rang through her head.

*bang bang*

"Fuck!" Shepard muttered while instantly clutching her side. A sudden pain washed over her, almost making her topple over, but she managed to stay on her feet. She stepped backward, hitting the wall with her back, and she slumped down against it into a sitting position. Her legs were splayed out in front of her while she looked down her body and saw that the hand clutching the side of her abdomen was completely covered in blood. She heard shouting and more gunshots going off in the distance, and the white haze was starting to clear around her making it possible to see again. 

_ Smoke grenade. _

"Fuck! Aria!"

A light tickle started in her legs, before spreading up her body. Small spots started to pop up in front of her eyes, and she tried to blink them away, but to no avail. Shepard pressed her hand as hard as she could into the gushing wound while lifting up her other arm, trying to use her omni-tool to call out for someone to come get her. She quickly let go of her wound and tried to tap the emergency code that would give out a SOS-signal to the rest of the gang, but her arm was shaking so badly, and she couldn't hit the right buttons. She gave up and put pressure on her wound again.

"Fuck…" She breathed. And now, she didn't feel the pain anymore. There was nothing else telling her that she had been shot beside the gushing of blood and the tickling and prickling sensation in her body growing more and more constant. These feelings were something she recognized. After all, this wasn’t the first time she had been shot. And it would probably not be the last time. But somehow, something felt slightly different this time. Shepard had never been afraid of danger, never panicked when she had been injured in the past. Even that one time where she had been just minutes away from bleeding to death on the streets of Omega. But now... Shepard was feeling afraid. Afraid of dying, of never being able to see her again.

_ Liara! _

"Aria!" She called out again, feeling her limbs growing heavier by the second. "I need some help here!"

A loud shuddering breath escaped her mouth, and she put her other hand on the wound as well to keep up the pressure. Her strength was already starting to fade, and her breathing started to grow heavier and with slower intervals. The spots behind her eyes were growing larger and more frequent.

_ Don't pass out. Don’t pass out. Need to keep up the pressure. _

Shepard groaned and slipped further towards the floor, finding it hard to keep herself up. Blood was pooling around her, and she tried to call out one more time, but it was like her lunges wouldn’t cooperate anymore. The sound that escaped her was just a little puff.

_ Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

She started to blink excessively, trying to remove the spots blocking her vision, but they only grew and multiplied until they were all she could see. They started to change in shape and color, switching from white to black and blue…

_ Blue. _

Shepard coughed and felt something trickle from her mouth. The taste of blood, salt, and iron took over her senses. She slammed her head back against the wall and tried to move in a last effort to get up and find help. But she was unable to. The blue dots in front of her eyes moved in such ways that they started to relax her. She watched them flow in front of her like they were soothing her. Her breath became more and more shallow, but Shepard found herself more at peace. The dots continued to move until they started to form into a shape Shepard recognized. 

The shape of her girlfriend.

_ Liara. _

_ 'Shepard, You need to fight. You don't get to give up now.' _

_ I feel so tired... _

_ 'Stay with me, you cannot leave me.' _

_ I don’t want to leave you… _

Shepard closed her eyes. The shape was easier to follow when she did. Something inside her screamed at her to open them again, to get up and fight.

_ I don’t want to leave you… _

_ I don’t want to… _

_ I...  _

_ ... _

_ ‘Jane! Wake up. You need to keep fighting!’ _

_ I’m so tired… _

_ ‘You promised me you wouldn’t leave me. Keep your promise.’ _

Shepard felt herself slipping further and further away inside her mind. It was almost like she could feel Liara now, like she was right there, just inches in front of her but still just out of reach. 

_ Li… _

Suddenly, everything changed, and Shepard found herself in a very familiar place. Two shapes lying in bed with damp sheets tangled around them while they moved against each other. Bodies glistening in a light sheen of sweat while blue light was dancing around their bodies, moving together in perfect synchronization. Blue hands tangled in red hair and lips crashing together, leaving both their hearts pounding and their breaths heavy. Liara's eyes are pitch black, and Shepard notices that her own are as well. Suddenly, they stop moving. Frozen to the spot while a voice rings out in Shepard's head. The perfect familiar voice she cannot get enough of.

She remembers it now. It fills her up again, all the emotions, tears and wondrous joy from that night. That special night two months ago when they both had agreed to become bondmates. They wanted to become a single soul, wanted to leave a piece of themselves embedded in the other so that nothing could ever separate them anymore. Shepard remembered how Liara had started crying while they were making love. It started with the thought of her having to move on after Shepard was gone. She would have to live on without her for a thousand years, if not more. Shepard had cupped her face and tried to calm her, kissing away each tear as it ran down her face. 

_ 'I cannot go on without you.' _

_ 'You can. And you will...’ _

_ ‘You don’t know that. You will be gone and I will have to live on. What if I start to forget. What if one day I won’t remember your eyes, the way your hair feels around my fingers, the way you smell…’ _

Shepard stopped moving against Liara and lied down on top of her, giving Liara the closeness she knew her girlfriend needed. She leaned down and took Liara’s lips against her own, kissing her slowly and passionately. Shepard continued the kiss until she felt that Liara starting to calm down. She sent waves of her love and adoration for her girlfriend, letting it wash over her and soothe her worst fears. Only when the need for air grew too strong did Shepard pull away and look deep into Liara’s eyes.

_ ‘Bond with me.’ _

Shepard picked up on the confusion that started to whirl up inside Liara. 

_ ‘Bond with me, sweetheart,’  _ she repeated.

_ ‘You don’t know what you are asking.’ _

Shepard shook her head and pressed her lips against Liara’s again.

_ ‘Then tell me, make me understand.’ _

_ 'Becoming bondmates is a very serious commitment. There will be no going back. Both of our minds will be connected by thousands of intertwined threads. We will be unchangeably altered until the end of our days. I will feel your sorrows, your rage frenzies, your happiness and your love, even beyond the meld. And nothing will be able to separate us anymore, we will remain connected until all eternity.' _

Shepard smiled into Liara's mouth.

_ ‘And you will have a piece of me wherever you go?'  _

_ ‘Yes, and so will you.’ _

_ 'But you will never be able to let me go. Never be able to forget...' _

_ ‘No. But I never want to either. I never want to forget you. If you want this- There is nothing I want more than for us to become one.’ _

Shepard pulled away to breathe again, and she put their foreheads together, feeling how Liara’s emotions were starting to overwhelm her again. Shepard wanted to experience how deep and loving Liara's heart was. She wanted to have a piece of her inside at all times. She needed it.

_ ‘I want this. I want us to become bondmates. I love you.’ _

Shepard remembered how everything suddenly had shifted. How she had felt Liara move inside her mind in a whole different way than before. She felt how deep Liara went, touching her very soul. It was a very alien feeling, and Shepard gasped when she could feel Liara’s soul merging together with her own. How their souls twisted and blended into one. Suddenly, Shepard couldn’t tell the difference between them anymore. Every emotion and every feeling was coming from one place. She could only feel one pulse and one heartbeat beating inside a single chest. It felt perfect. It felt so intimate. Shepard realized she was crying when she felt tears hitting Liara’s cheeks. She had never felt so complete, so completely whole in a very different way than before. 

There was only a single thought floating in their minds:

_ ‘I love you.’ _

They had lingered in the meld as long as possible, and when it started to unravel, Shepard had felt different. Somehow Liara was still with her, she could feel her inside her heart. A light flutter of something making sure she would never forget. Two had become one, and it was the best feeling Shepard had ever experienced. 

They continued to make love for hours that night when none of them seemed to get satisfied. They craved each other in a whole new way, they needed to touch and kiss, to feel their skin against each other’s, to shatter and to come undone again and again. When they finally had slumped exhausted together under the covers Liara couldn't stop smiling, and Shepard found it hard not to herself.

"Wow. I feel so… different. It's weird," Shepard said while she rested her head in Liara's lap, enjoying the blue slender fingers that toyed with her hair.

She tilted her head and looked up into Liara's eyes, which had turned back to their normal blue color.

"I feel it as well, Jane."

"It's like we're still in the meld. I can't hear your thoughts, but I can feel you…"

Liara chuckled while she continued to stroke and slip the red damp hair between her fingers.

"I never thought it would feel this good. I mean every Asari learns about the bonding, but I don't think anything could have prepared me for this."

"Mmm, I love you Liara. I mean it. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"I bet the majority of Asari on Omega will be quite saddened when they hear this news…"

Shepard started laughing and rolled over and on top of Liara, pushing her down onto the bed. Watching her playful purple lips turn into a grin that made Shepard's heart jump in her chest.

"Let them be. There is only one Asari I care about anyway. And she has no way of escaping me now." 

* * *

Shepard gasped as her eyes suddenly flew open. She clawed at the restricting thing that was stuck in her throat, making it impossible for her to breathe. She tried to remove it, but then someone pinned her arms down. Shepard tried to fight it while she gasped for air, but nothing seemed to help. Her brain started to go into panic mode, a place Shepard hadn’t been in for so many years. The feeling was so scary, and she tried to push it away, tried to calm herself. 

If only she could breathe.

“Keep her still!” She heard a voice call out, but it sounded so far away.

“Shepard. Stay calm. You are going to be ok. Trust me.”

Shepard recognized the voice.

_ Aria. _

She turned her head and managed to catch a glimpse of the familiar purple figure at her side. Everything was a blur, a haze of different colors around her. She was laying on a bed that was moving, and Aria was here with her. She felt Aria squeeze her hand in an effort to try to reassure her.

“You stay with us, Shepard. Don’t you fucking dare to go anywhere!” 

Aria’s tone was as demanding as always, but Shepard detected something else in her voice as well. She looked up, catching a glimpse of Aria’s eyes as she came into focus. She looked... afraid. Shepard had only seen this look in her eyes one time before...

_ Fuck. This must be bad. _

People were flocking around her, doctors and nurses probably. They kept touching her while machines were beeping in irregular rhythms. Shepard really didn’t care. She just tried to focus on Aria while she continued to struggle for air. A white wall of pain crashed over her, and she whined. She tried to wiggle out, tried to move her arms and legs. But nothing worked. Not a damn thing. The feeling of being trapped made it all worse.

“Just try to relax. They are putting you under now Shepard, to make this easier on your body. Don’t try to fight it. And don’t walk towards that bright light or what the fuck it’s called. Don’t you fucking dare!”

_ I- I won’t… _

Shepard felt fingers digging into her cheeks, turning her head. Her eyes felt so heavy now that they were almost closing on their own. All she wanted was to sleep. To close her eyes and let the darkness take over. She was so fucking tired.

“Shepard, look at me!” Aria demanded, and Shepard managed to open her eyes one last time.

“Liara is on her way. If you’re not gonna fight for me, then at least fight for her.”

And then she felt her eyes close, and everything became black.

…

Shepard gasped loudly. Her eyes flew open while she inhaled sharply several times. She clutched at her throat, but there was nothing blocking her airways this time, so she continued to take deep breaths, loving the feeling of air filling her lungs. 

_ I can breathe again. _

She ran her hand through her hair, removing it from her face while she looked around herself. The blue light that engulfed her was recognizable. This was a place she had been many times before. But it felt so different this time. She felt so empty, so alone... Suddenly, emotions and feelings started to pour into her, filling up the empty space inside her. Feelings of being terrified, sadness and panic - it coursed through her, making her heart beat faster and faster until her chest felt constricting. 

_ No no no. _

Shepard closed her eyes again and tried to gain her composure. Was this it? She wondered. Was this her mind taking her to this sacred place, that she and Liara always shared, one last time before her time was over? 

_ No! It can’t be... _

Surely this wasn't the end. She had to survive.

Then all of a sudden, other feelings started to take place inside her, pushing away the bad ones. Calm, serenity, strength and love. They filled up every nook of her soul, and then the familiar scent hit her nostrils. The smell of honey and flowers and  _ her. _

_ 'Liara?' _

Arms snaked around her waist from behind, and Shepard looked down and saw those familiar blue hands clutch her chest, pulling her into a tight embrace...

_ 'I'm here.' _

Shepard turned around, and tears instantly filled up her eyes at the sight.

_ 'Liara!' _

She hugged her close at first, before pulling back to cup her face and drawing her in for a kiss. When their lips met, her heartbeat calmed down, and her breathing resided to normal. Then pain suddenly vanished together with all the bad feelings. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. She was here with her bondmate. And all she could feel was love.

_ 'I'm here, Jane. I'm here.' _

Shepard closed her eyes when she released her lips. She put her arms around Liara again, pulling her into her embrace. She kissed the top of her crest and lingered her trembling lips against her blue skin.

_ 'What is happening?' _

_ 'You were shot. Aria managed to get you to a hospital, and they had to perform surgery on you. Now just try to relax here with me.' _

_ 'I'm afraid, Li.' _

_ 'I know you are. I can feel it, and I am too. But I am trying to make it go away. I need you to try to not be afraid and to fight.' _

Shepard pulled slightly away from the embrace and looked down into Liara's eyes. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks.

_ 'I need you to fight for me, Jane. I need you to come back to me…' _

_ 'I- I want to…' _

_ 'Then you don't get to give up. I'm sitting at your side right now, holding your hand, and I will not leave you. You just have to stay strong for me and come back.' _

Shepard could feel Liara's insecurity trying to push through the walls she had put up, but then this wave of soothing calm washed over her again. She felt Liara's incredible love for her, and she tried to send back her own feelings as much as she could.

_ 'I promise. I will come back.' _

Liara cupped her face and put their foreheads together. Shepard watched as tears escaped her eyes when she closed them.

_ 'I have to end the meld now. The doctor told me it can be too much for your body to endure while it tries to repair itself. I just had to see you again. To tell you, in case-' _

Liara let out a loud sob, and Shepard kissed her nose and cheek.

_ 'I will come back to you.' _

_ 'I love you. And I will be right here with you, Jane.' _

Suddenly everything started to unravel around them, and Shepard tightened the hold around Liara. But the only thing she was holding onto was herself as Liara disappeared with a snap of a finger. Shepard found herself back alone in the void. Alone with her now returning feelings of loneliness, fear and insecurity. 

_ No! Liara! _

Her heart started to beat faster and harder, her chest feeling more and more constricting. The blue light around her was slowly fading over to black as she fell onto her knees and supported herself with her hands pressed into the ground. She gritted her teeth when she felt a stabbing pain shooting through her, settling somewhere in her abdomen. Shepard found it harder to breathe, and she closed her eyes trying to calm herself. She collapsed onto the ground, her legs and arms splayed out. Darkness was closing in around her, and all she tried to focus on was Liara. She pictured her blue eyes and purple freckles. The cutest freckles Shepard had ever seen.

_ I love you,  _ she thought while she felt her breathing slow down, coming in shorter until it stopped completely, together with her heartbeat.

And then she gave up and let herself be engulfed by the darkness.

* * *

Shepard opened her eyes slowly. At first, her surroundings looked blurry and out of focus, but a few blinks of her eyes seemed to clear it up for her. Her hand flew up, clutching her throat. 

_ I can breathe again... _

Shepard closed her eyes again for a second and inhaled once and twice, loving the feeling of air going down her throat and filling up her lungs. But the smell, she remembered it. That air of sickness and medicine and she instantly knew where she was. A hospital. But she couldn’t feel any pain in her abdomen anymore, just felt drowsy and a bit dizzy. And something heavy was weighing down on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe properly. She opened her eyes again and looked down seeing Liara’s head rest on top of it. She was sleeping with half her upper body lying over Shepard’s, one hand clutching the covers over her body and the other resting in Shepard’s hand. Shepard gently squeezed her hand while she watched for any signs that Liara would wake up. She looked so peaceful and calm that she didn’t want to wake her. But at the same time, she needed to look into her eyes again and know that she was really here. 

“Li-Liara…” Shepard managed to croak out, before clearing her throat. “Sweetheart?”

Shepard squeezed her hand again harder before using her free one to stroke her crest, and she watched as Liara slowly lifted her head.

“Jane!” Liara gasped, her eyes wide as saucers. She instantly threw her arms around her girlfriend and hugged her tightly. Deep sobs started wrecking through her shivering body.

"Y-you-"

"Shhh," Shepard comforted while stroking Liara's cheek and crest. "I'm fine. Maybe a little beat up, but fine."

Liara pulled back again and pressed herself against Shepard's lips. They lingered together and Shepard could feel the salty tears from Liara hitting her tongue. After what felt like minutes Liara released her lips and cupped her face, and Shepard was again trapped by the deep pools of blue in front of her.

"Don't you ever do this to me again," Liara wept softly while shaking her head.

Shepard let out a heavy breath. "I'm sorry I scared you. But I-"

"Please, Jane. I don't want to hear it." Liara sat up on the edge of the hospital bed and turned to look out the window.

"Liara?" Shepard sighed while reaching for her hand. She grabbed it and squeezed it lightly. 

“We were set up, we usually don’t make this kind of mistakes. I’m sorry I scared you but I’m fine now.”

Liara turned around, her eyes were pouty and red, clearly showing the pain she had been through. The look she gave Shepard sent a shiver through her body.

"Scared me? You almost died! I was terrified!"

"I know. But I didn't die. I'm still here, Li. I got better."

Liara sighed, and the angry look on her face seemed to vanish into a sad one instead, “I don’t want you to do this anymore. You know I am leaving in just a few weeks, and I want you to come with me, Jane. We will find you some work-”

“No.”

“Jane, please just listen to me?”

“I’ve already told you. I can’t leave Aria now. Not until this thing or whatever it is, is settled. I owe her too much to just pack up and go,” Shepard said while squeezing Liara’s hand again.

Liara turned her head away and let out a heavy breath. “We are bonded now, I thought maybe-” she shook her head before continuing. “But you have no problem leaving me?”

“I’m not the one leaving.”

“Shepard…” Liara looked into her eyes, and the pain in them was visible.

“I’m sorry, Liara. I didn’t mean that. I know you have to leave, and we knew this day would come. You know I really want to go with you!”

“Yes. I know.”

“But I can’t leave Aria right now. This is the second time she saved my life. I owe her everything.”

Liara lied down on the bed again, resting on top of Shepard’s chest being careful not to put pressure on her wound. She used her hand to stroke up and down Shepard's arm, knowing how much she loved the tickling feeling.

“I know, love. I’m just so scared this will happen again. That next time Aria won’t be there to save you. And I will be so far away, and I won’t be able to tell you-”

A soft sob broke out from Liara again, and Shepard pulled her into her arms. She cuddled her and coed her, trying to calm her down.

“I know you love me, Liara. I will always know. We are bonded, and no matter how far apart we are, there will never be a doubt in my heart to how much you love me. And I know the same applies to you.”

Liara tilted her head up and kissed Shepard on the lips, before moving just an inch away. “I could stay here-”

“No,” Shepard said with a stern voice. “We talked about this. And this is not an option.”

Liara closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath, “I know.”

“Will you meld with me? There is something I want to show you,” Shepard asked, and watched as Liara opened her eyes, looking puzzled at her.

“What? Sometimes I find it easier to show than to talk,” Shepard chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, and it forced a smile on Liara’s lips.

“Yes, I know.” Liara put one hand on Shepard’s cheek and putting their foreheads together. “Show me, Jane. Embrace eternity.”

When Liara’s soul and emotions washed over her again, Shepard felt a wide mix of emotions fill her up. Fear, panic, and love battled for her attention, and although she wasn’t yet an expert on melding, she had done it enough times with Liara to know what soothed her. Shepard pushed forward all her love and adoration for her bondmate and felt as it slowly calmed her down. 

_ ‘Thank you.’ _

_ ‘No, thank you. For staying by my side through all this. I know how hard it is for you. Never knowing if I will return home or if I’m okay. And I am so sorry for putting you through it. Time and again.’ _

_ ‘I will never leave you.’ _

_ ‘You deserve so much better. But I want to do better. I want to give you what you deserve.’ _

_ ‘You already give me enough, love. You have given me a part of your soul. I cannot ask for more. Now please show me what you had in mind.’ _

Shepard switched her thoughts towards her most precious dream. It was something she had been thinking of rather often these past months, a thought she had managed to keep a secret from Liara. She had only let certain bits and pieces slip through, and although Shepard had always felt how curious Liara had been about the thought, she had never prodded or searched for more. Liara had always valued her privacy. But now, Shepard wanted her to see what she wished for the most.

Their future.

The scene switched and the first thing they saw were green plains overgrown with yellow and white flowers as far as their eyes could see. They moved over it and came closer to something seen in the distance. A large tree on a hill with shapes under it which were not recognizable at first, but then turned into figures. Shepard felt Liara’s curiosity grew and she smiled, knowing that what she was about to show her would be everything Liara dreamed of as well.

The figures turned into more recognizable people the closer they got. One human and one asari. Red hair and blue skin, their arms stretched between them holding something. Suddenly, Shepard heard Liara gasp as the third figure came into shape. 

_ ‘Jane?’ _

_ ‘Yeah. This is what I want, Liara. I want this to be our future.’ _

Shepard could feel tears running down her cheek outside the meld, but she didn’t know if they came from her or from Liara. It was probably from the both of them as the emotions took over into something more powerful than she had ever felt before. The love between them merged into one rapturous whole. A love so pure and so strong, Shepard had never felt anything like it before. Never when thinking about this, never when melding with her bondmate. The images were clear in front of them now. Shepard and Liara standing on top of the hill, overlooking a house in the distance. Between them, holding each of their hands was a child. Their daughter.

Slowly everything unraveled, and Shepard found herself back in the hospital bed, kissing her bondmate while their tears ran down their cheeks. She felt Liara’s lips tremble against her own and felt her heart beat fast in her chest. Shepard pulled away cupping her face.

“Was that okay? What I showed you?”

Liara let out a chuckle, her smile overtaking her face. “Yes. That was more than okay. It was perfect. Thank you for showing it to me.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” 

They leaned forward again and started kissing but was soon interrupted by the door opening and someone croaking behind them.

“Aria!” Shepard exclaimed, and Liara got up from the bed and straightened the dress she was wearing, before turning towards the smirking Aria standing in the doorway.

“I see you’ve healed up nicely, Shepard. Don’t let me interrupt this sweet reunion,” Aria drawled.

“Actually it’s a good thing you came,” Liara said, walking towards Aria. When she reached her, she gave her a hug and Shepard had to stifle a laugh from the expression forming on Aria’s face.

“Thank you for saving Shepard,” Liara said before she stepped back to stand beside Shepard again, giving Aria some space.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Thank you, Aria. But what happened?” Shepard questioned.

“We were set up again. And just to be clear this is the last time I’m listening to your stupid advice. They smoked us in, but you took the worst of it.”

“Did you find her?”

“No. But we managed to kill some Blood pack scum while you were relaxing on the floor in a pool of blood.”

Shepard felt Liara clutch her hand harder.

“Ha, you’re so funny,” Shepard snorted. “But really, Blood pack? I thought she was with the Eclipse?”

Aria stepped up on the other side of the bed and crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes narrowing. “It seems all the fucking factions are after me, but I don’t care. They won’t get to dethrone me if that’s what they’re after.”

Shepard felt Liara’s hand tense further, and she turned to look at her bondmate who looked right down infuriated.

“So you would rather have them kill you and all your friends before you step down?” Liara challenged Aria.

Aria chuckled, “Step down? I will never step down.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think-”

Liara released Shepard’s hand and straightened her back before she glared at Aria. “I won’t accept you putting Shepard’s life in danger just for your petty reasons…”

Aria scoffed and a grin spread across her face. “Cute of you to worry so much about your girlfriend. But believe me, Shepard chose this life for herself. She knew what she signed up for the moment she accepted my protection all those years ago.”

“Bondmate.”

Aria’s eyes widened in surprise, “Really? You two bonded? Well then allow me to congratulate you. I never thought anyone would be able to tie Shepard down. But you should know one thing Liara, I have never forced Shepard to do anything she didn’t want to. You might be bonded with her, but I don’t think you know all of her darkest secrets.”

“Aria, stop please,” Shepard barked, staring down her friend before grabbing Liara’s hand again. She was trembling from fury and Shepard could sense that if she did not calm down soon, the room would become a biotic battlefield.

But Aria only leaned in closer to Liara across from the bed. “You see Shepard  _ enjoys  _ this life. She likes the feel of a gun in her hand, to pull the trigger. To take a life-”

“You should be glad that Shepard is lying here between us, or I would have thrown you into the wall," Liara threatened, and Shepard watched as she clenched her hands into fists and blue light started to radiate from her body.

Aria snorted, "I would have liked to see you try, T'Soni…"

“Aria! That’s enough!” Shepard yelled. “Liara is allowed to be upset about this. And you-" Shepard turned to stare at Liara, who looked ready to attack Aria any minute. A fight Shepard most definitely didn't want to see. "You need to calm down as well. Both of you, calm down!"

Aria threw her hands up, feigning a surrender. “Fine. I won't warp your pretty bondmate out of this world."

Liara let out a heavy breath before she chuckled and rolled her eyes, the blue light from her biotics starting to vanish.

"I am sorry, Shepard," Liara apologized, taking her hand again and squeezing it. "I didn't mean to upset you any more than you already are. You need your rest." 

Liara looked at Aria again, who this time nodded in agreement.

“I just came here to check up on you, Shepard. And I talked with your doctors. They will be monitoring you closely for the next few days, so you won’t get out of here just yet.” 

Aria held up her hand knowing Shepard was about to intervene, “-But before you say anything else, I have arranged for a bed so that Liara can stay with you, and Sheerk is available to take her wherever she wants to go, at any time, day or night.” Aria continued, placing her hand on Shepard’s shoulder.

“She will be safe here, Shepard. We won’t let anything happen to her. Even if I do find her extremely annoying," Aria smirked. 

"You have my word.”

The sincerity in Aria’s voice took Shepard by surprise. She was always surprised when Aria showed this kind of compassion, even though she knew she had it in her. 

“Thank you.”

“Now, I will leave you to it. The doctors are coming in to check on you soon, but I told them you two wanted some time alone first.”

Aria turned around to leave, but Shepard stopped her.

“Wait. Aria, I won’t forget this. And we will find out who is causing all this trouble. I won’t let you down. You have my word,” Shepard said, while she felt Liara tightened the hold on her hand.

“I know you won’t, Shepard. I know.”


	17. Dreams and Revelations

Liara lifted the glass to her mouth and swallowed down a mouthful of the lovely Thessian white wine. The taste caused her to hum in excitement. This was her favorite wine, and this restaurant was her favorite place on Serrice, and Shiala had been kind enough to invite her out for dinner this evening. This wasn’t Shiala’s usual style, so it had surprised Liara when her friend had suggested this restaurant. Liara remembered the last time they had been here, Shiala had vowed she would never come back because of the stiff prices and the all too boring waitresses as she had so accurately put it. 

“So, when is your very cute and incredibly hot girlfriend coming over?” Shiala asked with the familiar smirk on her lips.

Liara had to laugh. She would never get over the fact that each time Shiala had mentioned Shepard it had always been with some compliment on her looks or her body. Not that Liara had any objections on the matter, she very much agreed with Shiala’s descriptions of her bondmate. And she was lucky enough to get to do whatever she wanted with that body. And as often as she wished. 

Well, at least before she had moved back to Serrice. It had been a month since she had last been with Shepard and the distance between them was getting almost unbearable. They talked every night over holo and even did other things over it, but every time it left Liara with a bliss that ended as soon as they had hung up. She missed Shepard so much it was affecting her work and her other daily routines. And it wasn’t solely the fact that she missed feeling her, touching her and kissing her. It was also the fact that Liara knew that as long as Shepard remained on Omega, her life would be in danger. Every hour of every day. The thought made her shudder, and she took another sip of her wine, deciding to push the thought away for now.

“I don’t know. She said she would try to come over in a couple of weeks. But…”

Shiala put down her fork and studied her friend, “-But Aria demands her attention? No wonder she won’t leave. I mean, no offense…”

Liara sighed while she shook her head at her friend. “You know it’s not like that. But Aria is very special to Shepard, and she will never leave her when she needs her the most.”

“Like you do? You need her too, Liara,” Shiala said seriously.

“Yes, but my life doesn’t depend on it.”

“Hmm. No, but other parts of your life do. I mean, your sex life-”

“Shiala! Please don’t worry about that part of my life.”

Shiala smiled and reached for her drink, before she proceeded, “Speaking of sex- Did you see Falere’s new girlfriend yesterday?”

Liara scoffed, “Yes, I did. I even went over to greet her.”

“And?” Shiala quizzed.

“And, she seemed like a nice person. I’m glad that Falere has found someone that makes her happy.”

“You still talk with her?”

Liara waited while a waitress came over to their table to remove their plates. She had left Falere alone after their breakup, not knowing if it would only make it worse for her if they kept in touch. But she had received messages from her two months after, and they had gradually started to communicate again. And Liara was very glad they did. She had missed Falere and their conversations. She was still a very good friend, one that Liara would always care deeply about. A smile appeared on her lips while she thought about it, making Shiala raise her eyes.

“I guess that is a yes…”

“Yes, we have kept in touch over the past months. And we will probably continue to stay in touch.”

“And what does your sexy human have to say about that?”

Liara laughed again, “Shepard doesn’t care about that. She knows she has my heart and that she always will. I mean ever since we-”

Liara suddenly stopped herself from continuing, by putting a hand over her mouth.

Shiala’s eyes almost popped out of her head, “Since you what?!” she exclaimed, almost jumping out of her seat.

“Nothing.” 

“Goddess knows it’s not nothing! Did you bond with her?!”

“Shiala! Keep it down, please. Besides, we are done talking about this,” Liara said firmly.

“Ha! I knew it! I knew something was different when you returned. Goddess, to think Liara T’Soni, daughter of Matriarch Benezia would bond with a human!”

Liara frowned at her friend, “And exactly what is so wrong with me bonding with a human?”

“Well, first the life-span issue. And second, we thought you wouldn’t be one to bond so quickly. I mean you have only known her for about a year, right? And the first six months you two spent tiptoeing around each other. So really, you have only been together for what, like a half a year. And then you bond?”

Liara scowled, “What do you mean with ‘we thought’?”

Shiala swallowed down the last of her wine before she spoke, “Well, your father and I kind of made a little bet…”

“Of course she is mixed up in this,” Liara shook her head while she exhaled. “Anyway, promise me you won’t go around talking about this. Shepard and I wanted to keep this a secret for a bit.”

“You should at least tell your father. She will be thrilled for you, I’m sure.”

“I will. I will even take Shepard to see her when she comes to Serrice.”

Shiala raised her eyes again and chuckled, “Really? Not afraid Aethyta will scare her away?”

Liara smiled and her thoughts instantly went to her bondmate. She knew her father could never scare Shepard away. Liara was looking forward to introducing the two. She suddenly felt a sting of pain rush through her of the thought she could never introduce Jane to her mother. Liara was sure Benezia would have been reluctant to their relationship at first, but she also knew that given time, she would have loved Jane.

Suddenly she was taken out of her thoughts when a waitress walked over to their table with a tray. She placed it between her and Shiala and Liara looked puzzled at the content.

“We didn’t order any dessert,” Liara said, looking at the waitress then over at Shiala. Shiala only shrugged, but Liara could tell something was up when she saw the smirk she tried to hold back.

“What’s this?” Shiala asked, eying the content of the tray.

“It’s strawberries and chocolate. Mine and Shepard’s favorite-” Liara stopped when she saw the envelope lying on the side of the tray. She reached out for it and picked it up, opened it and took out the card inside. 

Liara already knew who it was from, and it made her heart swell inside her chest. She opened the card and read it, but it took her a couple of seconds before she realized what it said. Her hand slightly shaking while she read it one more time.

[ To my lovely bondmate. I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to come to visit you sooner. You know how much I miss you and long to see you again. Hopefully, this desert and another little surprise will make it better. I love you.

Ps: Listen to whatever Shiala tells you. ]

Liara instantly looked up at her friend with wide eyes. Shiala was grinning from ear to ear.

“You knew about this?”

Shiala shrugged her shoulders again, acting like she had nothing to do with this. She picked up a strawberry and put it into her mouth. “Hmm, good,” she said, deliberately not answering Liara’s question.

“That is not what I asked you. And you’re supposed to dip it in the melted chocolate.”

Liara knew her friend wouldn’t give her an answer, so she picked up a berry and dipped it in chocolate, before eating it. The taste reminded her so much of Shepard, and of the first time they had shared this dessert and the kiss that came after. The way Shepard’s soft lips had tasted of sweet chocolate and how Liara had lost herself completely in this wonderful human. The human who had now become her bondmate.

“What did the card say?”

Oh, you know what it said!

Liara eyed her friend annoyingly, “She wrote that I should listen to whatever you tell me.”

Shiala smirked, “Ah, yes. You want to finish dessert or go now?”

That stopped Liara from putting another strawberry into her mouth. “Go where?”

Shiala chuckled, “I will not tell you where! I have strict orders I have to follow. I don’t want to get that bondmate of yours after me, now would I?”

Liara lips tugged into a smile and she instantly got up from the chair. The dessert be damned. She couldn’t wait any longer to see what Shepard and Shiala was up to. 

“I want to go now.”

“Ok,” Shiala said. “Follow me then.”

They walked out of the restaurant and stopped outside, and Liara had to wait while Shiala made a call. She tried to listen in to the call but she couldn’t hear what her friend was saying. Liara tapped her foot impatiently at the ground. She was usually a very patient person and had no problems with waiting for anything. But after meeting Shepard, it seemed she had lost all shred of patience. Especially when she knew her girlfriend had a surprise waiting for her.

After a couple of minutes, Shiala closed her omni-tool and stepped back over to Liara, pulling out a blindfold from her pocket. 

“You need to put this on,” she directed. 

Liara did as she was told, without asking any question, and soon she heard a car stop in front of them. She was lead into it and Shiala followed to sit beside her. The ride was relatively short, and when the car stopped Liara was led out of it and through what she believed must have been a public place. Shiala held her hand and almost dragged her with her, and all Liara could hear was the noise of people talking and walking around them.

“Where are we?” Liara asked, but for the first time, Shiala didn’t answer her. She never seemed to be able to stay quiet, so Liara guessed Shepard had been demanding with her directions.

Suddenly Liara gasped. She was still unable to see anything because of the blindfold. But she could feel… No, it couldn’t be.

It cannot be!

Shiala stopped moving when she felt Liara tense, and Liara stood completely still while she tried to gather the feelings she felt inside. Her heart beat faster and she could feel her hands starting to shake. The familiar feeling of completeness and of love, love that had filled her heart up to the brink of what it could hold. 

She was close, Liara knew it. She could feel her.

Jane.

Liara couldn’t wait any longer. She tore her blindfold off and the sight in front of her made her lose her breath altogether. There just around 10 meters ahead stood Shepard. Her wonderful bondmate with her red hair and emerald eyes and that perfect grin, leaning casually up against the wall on the other side of the large hall, that Liara now recognized as Serrice Docking Station. She put one hand over her mouth while she felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. But she didn’t care. She didn’t even try to hold them back, so she let them fall down her cheeks while she continued to stare in wonder at Shepard.

Suddenly she found the strength to move, and when she did, it turned into a full-on sprint. She threw herself into Shepard’s open arms and buried her face into the nook of her neck. Her wonderful smell, the mix of her perfume and Shepard’s own strong wonderful scent filled up her nostrils, and it made Liara inhale again and again while she felt her bondmate pull her into a tight embrace. Shepard’s hands went up to her neck, and she stroked Liara gently, while she placed a kiss at the top of her crest, letting her lips linger.

“You came,” Liara breathed into her neck.

“Yeah. I couldn’t stay away from you any longer.”

Liara planted her lips to Shepard’s neck, giving her a quick kiss before she pulled back slightly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come to greet you, or-”

Shepard chuckled, “I wanted to surprise you, sweetheart. And it seems like I succeeded. I’m surprised Shiala stayed quiet. She has known about this for quite some time...”

Liara smiled and shook her head. “That is remarkable, yes.” She turned and looked over at her friend, who winked back at her. 

“How did you managed to keep this quiet, Shiala?”

Shiala walked over and Liara stepped away from Shepard to hug her friend. “I know how to keep secrets. Even though it might not seem like it all the time.”

Both of them laughed, and Liara placed a kiss on Shiala’s cheek before Shepard grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into her embrace again. Liara leaned her back into her chest, feeling how Shepard’s heart was beating hard against her.

“Your luggage is already on the ship,” Shepard whispered, and Liara turned and looked puzzled at her.

“My luggage? We aren’t staying here?”

“No, I want to take you somewhere. Someplace I think you would like to go actually…” Shepard beamed. “It’s will take us two days to get there, so we better get going.”

“Where are we going?” Liara quizzed, watching while Shepard’s smile only grew wider.

“Oh, tell her Shepard! I want to see her reaction,” Shiala interrupted.

“What?” Liara asked again, almost bursting from excitement. “Where are you taking me?”

Shepard leaned down and caught Liara’s lips, silencing her for a moment. Liara lost herself for a second in the kiss. It really didn’t matter where they were going, as long as they were going together. She would even enjoy a trip back to Omega.

Shepard pulled back and grabbed both her hands, squeezing them. She looked straight into her eyes, and Liara was taken back at how they sparkled. She would never get tired of staring into those eyes.

“I wanted to do something nice for you since I’ve been away for so long and I know you constantly worry about me. So, would you like to come with me to Ilos?”

Liara’s heart skipped a beat and her breath caught in her throat. Ilos? Surely she must have heard wrong. Shepard would never-

“I-Ilos?”

“Yes, Ilos.”

“But-” Liara stopped at a loss for words. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had dreamt of this for so many years, so many decades. And now Shepard would take her there? Her wonderful bondmate would fulfill her biggest dream...

“I love you!” Liara exclaimed and threw her hands around Shepard’s neck, pulling her down for another kiss. 

She lost herself completely, and the kiss that started out innocently enough developed into a heated clash of their lips and tongues. Liara let one hand slide up into Shepard’s hair and she fisted it, pulling Shepard further against herself. She had completely forgotten where they were and certainly forgotten that they weren’t alone.

It was only when Shepard pulled back abruptly, nodding behind Liara that she remembered they were not alone.

“Maybe we should wait until we’re on the ship?” Shepard smirked.

It took all of two seconds for Liara’s mind to catch up with reality, and she felt her face heat from blushing. “Goddess. Yes, of course. I just-”

“See, Shepard? If you ever find yourself in a dry spell, just mention Ilos and you’ve got her going.” Shiala teased, and it made Shepard burst out in laughter while Liara turned around and scowled at her friend.

“Shiala!”

“I think this is my cue to leave. You have everything, right?” Shiala asked looking at Shepard.

“Yes, thank you for helping me out, Shiala. I owe you one.”

“I will remember that. Now you two have fun. And I have already made arrangements for you at work, Liara,” Shiala said.

Liara walked over and hugged her friend again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You know I would do anything for you. I love you. Now get going. You’re going to Ilos!” 

“I cannot believe it…” Liara smiled at her friend. “I love you too.”

“Now we better get going. Come on.” Shepard said, while she grabbed Liara’s hand and lead her towards Aria’s ship.

* * *

As soon as they set foot inside the ship and Liara heard the door whoosh closed behind them, she turned around and grabbed the collar of Shepard’s jacket. She pushed her into the wall and kissed her almost desperately. Shepard’s eyes widened in surprise, and she quickly withdrew. Not far, but just a few inches so she could look at Liara.

“You missed me this much, huh?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Liara moaned, catching Shepard’s lips again and pressing her tongue into her mouth. She was way past being polite now. Something was stirring up inside her and the thought of her bondmate taking her to Ilos, coupled with the fact that she hadn’t touched Shepard in weeks made her lose all her inhibitions. Shepard’s warm skin burned against her touch and Liara craved her more and more as the kiss continued. Heat spread quickly down between her legs, starting up its own pulse while her hands went into red hair and she pulled her lover closer.

She could feel Shepard’s body trembling against her own, feel how her muscles tensed and when Shepard gasped into her mouth for the sake of needing air, Liara pulled back and watched her green eyes burned with lust. Her breath felt heavy when it skimmed against Liara’s lips.

“I want you. Now.” It was a demand more than a question, and Liara’s only response was a small nod before Shepard grabbed her by her wrist and dragged her along towards the stairs leading up to the private cabin.

Liara followed as quickly as she could on her shivering legs, and when they reached the stairs Shepard pulled her in and kissed her again. Her tongue searched out Liara’s, lapping softly against it before her teeth dug into her bottom lip. The mix of pain and arousal spiked inside Liara, and she whimpered into Shepard’s mouth. Shepard’s hands went up to fumble with Liara’s coat, ripping it open and making the buttons fly across the stairs.

“Shepard!” Liara gasped, tearing herself away from the burning lips that were covering hers. “That coat was expensive!”

“I’ll buy you a new one.”

Suddenly she felt one warm hand slide up inside her sweater, cupping her breast. Shepard squeezed it gentle at first before her touch got harder. Then she leaned in close to Liara’s crest and whispered...

“I’ve been thinking about doing this for weeks now…” Shepard moved her other hand under Liara’s sweater, and Liara swallowed hard when she felt it sliding in the opposite direction. Down.

“I’ve thought about touching you. Feeling how much you want this - no, need this… How much you want me.”

When Shepard’s fingers slid down past the hem of her panties, Liara almost buckled over. She was happy Shepard was pressing her up against the wall. If not, she wouldn’t have managed to stay on her legs. She felt herself throb and pulse and when Shepard’s fingers slid through her azure, she whimpered down into Shepard’s shoulder while closing her eyes shut.

“Ahh…” Shepard grunted back. “You have been thinking of me doing this to you. Haven’t you?”

“Y-yes.” Liara stammered, her heart pounding inside her chest. “But please… Take me to our room.”

Liara opened her eyes again when she felt Shepard’s fingers disappear in a snap.

“We better hurry. I can’t wait much longer, sweetheart.”

Dizzy Liara let Shepard lead her further up the stairs and into their private cabin. As soon as the door closed behind them Shepard turned around and picked her up. Liara wrapped her legs around Shepard’s waist and let herself be carried over to the bed. She was put down carefully on top of the sheets and Shepard followed down with her, making sure not to release her lips. 

They continued to remove their clothes while they kissed, and as soon as they both were naked Shepard crawled quickly down Liara’s body and positioned herself between her legs. She grabbed Liara’s thighs and pulled her against her mouth. The first stroke of her tongue made Liara scream out in delight. Shepard lapped up everything she could reach, twirling her skillful tongue around the ridge of her clit before sliding it down and pressing it slightly inside. 

Liara’s breath was quickly rising, and she didn’t even bother trying to muffle her moans. This was Aria’s cabin, of course the walls would be soundproof. And even if they weren’t, she wouldn’t be able to hold back anyway. It had been far too long since Shepard had last touched her. And it wasn’t just about the physical side of it, just the thought of being buried inside her bondmates mind and soul again was enough to push Liara right to the edge. With the way Shepard’s tongue licked, twirled and pressed inside her, she wouldn’t be able to last very much longer. Liara fisted her hands down into the sheets and tried not to squeeze Shepard’s head too hard between her legs. The grip on her thighs became firmer, helping her stay still while she threw her mind out in search of Shepard’s. Instantly they connected, and Liara could suddenly taste herself on her tongue while she felt how much Shepard loved this. How much she had thought of doing this and how much she craved Liara. Just like Liara craved her. Their minds became one while their emotions and lust for each other doubled over. 

‘I feel how close you are.’

Liara arched her hips while she closed her eyes, trying her best to make this last just a few seconds longer. But neither Shepard’s mouth or her mind would make it easy for her. So she gave in.

‘Come for me.’

‘Shepard!’

Her orgasm was as powerful as anything she had ever experienced, and she squeezed her thighs together while Shepard continued to work her tongue between her legs, making sure her lover’s bliss would last as long as possible. Liara could feel how it affected Shepard as well by the way she was squirming against the bed. After what felt like an eternity, Liara could finally relax her tense thighs and Shepard pulled back and rested her head on Liara’s abdomen, stroking her hand along it.

Liara looked down at her lover and their eyes locked instantly. A large smile tugging at her lips.

‘By the Goddess, that was wonderful…’

‘Yeah, it sure was.’

Shepard’s grin made Liara’s smile grow even wider.

‘I missed you so much. Come here.’

Shepard moved up beside Liara and pulled her onto her chest, while Liara covered them with the sheets. She closed her eyes while she nuzzled into Shepard’s chest, listening to her heartbeat. It was one of her favorite things to do. 

‘I missed you too. Every day.’

Liara opened her eyes again and turned her head so she could look at Shepard. She lifted her hand and stroked her cheek, before placing the stray hairs behind her ear. She felt the meld starting to unravel, but after they bonded it didn’t leave her feeling empty anymore. She could always feel Shepard inside her. And that feeling made her smile.

“I cannot believe you are taking me to Ilos, Jane.”

“Yeah, well, I wanted to do something nice for you. Since I’ve been so unavailable,” Shepard said putting both her arms around Liara’s body. “And it is your biggest dream if I recall correctly.”

Liara chuckled, “You are amazing, you know. Thank you.”

“Ah, don’t thank me yet. I’m not so sure this will be a very pleasant trip since we probably need to sleep in tents on the ground... Yeah, I made some preparations.”

“Tents or beds, I don’t care as long as you are there with me.”

“We’ll see after a couple of days,” Shepard teased.

* * *

They spent the next week exploring Ilos. The place was as vibrant and wonderful as Liara had expected it to be, and she almost ran off the ship when they had landed on the green planet. Shepard had laughed at her and told her how adorable she found her when she got this excited by something. It had been a thing Shepard had always paid attention to. 

They spent their days going on long hikes and Shepard followed Liara wherever the search for anything Prothean-related took them. She watched how Liara enjoyed herself digging in the ground, being covered in dirt and being overly enthusiastic about everything she uncovered. The nights were cold, so they spent it inside their small tent, a tent that Shepard had bought them for the trip. They shared sleeping bags to keep themselves warm, and they made love, laughed and talked long into the nights. 

Liara had been in awe when she found out Shepard had brought all kinds of equipment for her to use. So she set out to teach Shepard a thing or two about archeology. Even though they found nothing in particular, Liara loved just spending time here. If it really was because she got to see Shepard and sleep with her again, she didn’t know. Either way, the week had been perfect. 

They shared a last meal together around a fireplace Shepard had built outside their tent on the last day before they were set to return. Liara was sitting on a blanket, warming her hands on the fire and watching as Shepard was running around trying to find some sticks to use for the food. 

“Come here, Jane?” She asked.

“Soon, I just need to find some perfect sticks first…” Shepard answered while she moved over to some small trees behind their tents.

“Why do we need sticks?”

Shepard returned with two of them, and she sat down beside Liara and pulled out a small knife. She sharpened the edges of the sticks into pointers.

“Because we need them to heat the hot-dogs.”

Liara raised her eyebrows, still watching her bondmate while she fiddled with the sticks. “Hot-dogs?”

Shepard looked at Liara. “Don’t tell me you’ve never tasted hot-dogs?”

“No, I haven’t. And to be honest it does not sound very tasteful. Isn’t a dog an Earthen animal?”

“Yes, kind of like a Varren… But they’re just called ‘hot-dogs’. It has nothing to do with the actual animal.”

Liara looked puzzled at Shepard for a moment. “It still doesn’t sound very tasty.”

Shepard chuckled, finishing the first stick and starting to work on the other one. “Well, I love the taste. And a lot of other humans do. And-” she handed the last stick over to Liara, “I think you will like it.”

Shepard vanished into the tent and after a couple of minutes, she returned with what Liara assumed was the hot-dogs, some other types of food and a blanket. She sat down beside Liara again and pulled the blanket over the both of them while giving Liara a quick peck on her cheek. She then opened the package and grabbed a hot-dog before impaling it on the stick.

“Here,” she said, handling the stick over to Liara. “Now you can just sit back, relax and hold the stick over the fire. And the hot-dog will heat up in no time.”

“Thank you.” Liara caught Shepard’s eyes and smiled at her.

“Just don’t hold it still for too long, or directly into the flame. That will just burn it. And it won’t taste any good at all.”

“I know how fire and heat works, Jane,” Liara scoffed at her.

“You know everything, don’t you?” Shepard teased, nudging her shoulder.

Liara leaned against her, and soon Shepard put her arm around her shoulder. Liara leaned into Shepard’s body and rested her head on her shoulder, while she was careful not to keep the meat directly in the heat for too long. She didn’t want to give Shepard more ammo for teasing.

“Do you have to go back to Omega straight away tomorrow?” Liara asked, silently praying she didn’t have to.

Shepard placed a quick kiss on her crest before she answered. “No, I want to stay with you for a bit longer. If that is okay?”

“Yes, of course it is.”

“I want to see your apartment, and I want to see what kind of life you live. Especially if I will move there someday… I need to know more about Serrice.”

Liara’s lips curled into a smile. “And I want you to meet Aethyta.”

“Your father? Help!” Shepard yelled, making Liara laugh.

“She isn’t that bad… Just try to ignore her bad mouth and please do not believe all the stories she probably will be telling. She has quite the imagination.”

“You know, I’m really looking forward to meeting her, Li. I bet she’s a lot of fun. And I want to hang out with Shiala again as well. She still hasn’t told me the story of what happened at her ‘Night with the Queen’,” Shepard chuckled.

“If you really want to hear that story, then I bet Shiala won’t mind sharing.” Liara turned her stick around one more time. “Think it’s done now?”

“Yeah, looks good. Just hold mine and I’ll go grab us something to drink and some bread to put the ‘dogs’ in.”

“Jane?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you so much for this. This week has been the best week of my life,” Liara whispered, tilting her head so that their gazes met. She looked into Shepard’s eyes and she instantly knew that Shepard felt the same.

“I never want to stop making you happy, Liara. I will try my best every day.”

Liara leaned in and their lips met for a brief kiss. 

“I know you will. And I love you. Now go get us what we need. I’m quite curious what these ‘hot-dogs’ tastes like.”

“You won’t be disappointed, I promise.” Shepard grinned before she went back inside the tent. 

* * *

Aria grabbed harder at the head between her legs, digging her fingers into the dips in the crest. She was so close. She craved to meld, but she wanted the skilled tongue in her azure to continue her torturous broad licks just a little while longer. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on anything else than the unbearable need to meld, while she pushed herself further back into the leather couch. Suddenly she felt the familiar tickle in the back of her mind, and her voice asking permission to enter.

Wait. Fuck. Not yet…

Aria opened her eyes again and looked down at the dark blue asari between her legs. This had been worth the trip to the Citadel. Aria loathed this place. Because of the way democracy ran it, and it housed that stupid council. They placed themselves over everyone while they pretended to care for others. Pretending they were doing things for the greater good of the citizens and for the galaxy. Ugh, she really couldn’t stand them. Correction, she really couldn’t stand two of them... 

Aria hated this place. Still, there was one person who always seemed to draw her back here. 

That priss, strung-up beautiful Asari that undid her with just a few flicks of her tongue.

Fuuuck…

Let me in. I won’t stop because you come. I want to make you come again and again and again…

Aria didn’t have the strength to deny her any longer, and just when the pair of pitch-black eyes looked up from under her, she threw her head back ready to-

*Ring ring*

What?

Don’t you answer that, Aria!

Her omni-tool chimed, just at the wrong minute. It threw Aria a bit off and she had to blink to find her focus again. She didn’t pay it any more attention, and she pushed the asari harder against her throbbing azure.

She was ready to meld again, as she was hovering so close to the edge. Every lick of that tongue sent her closer and closer…

*Ring Ring*

“Fuck!” Aria yelled while she slammed her hands down into the couch. “Whoever denies me my orgasm will be fucking sorry when I get my hands on them!”

The asari between her legs pulled back and rested on her heels, and Aria watched how she licked her blue lips clean before she raised her eyes, looking annoyed.

*Ring ring*

“I don’t have all day, Aria. I have a job that needs my attention. So if you want to come in my mouth at all, you better answer and make sure no one bothers us again.”

Aria grabbed her omni-tool from the side table and answered the call.

“What?” She yelled. “This better be important, Bray. I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

Aria’s eyes widened while she listened to what Bray had to say.

“Boss, I just made a connection. Liara’s surname is T’Soni, right?” 

“Yes. Don’t tell me you just ruined my orgasm to speak of Shepard’s annoying girlfriend…”

“No, listen. I thought the name sounded familiar. So I looked into it.”

“Get to the fucking point, Bray.”

“Liara is the daughter of Benezia. Benezia T’Soni, the matriarch who-”

Aria suddenly made the connection. She quickly sat up, closing her legs, watching as the other asari scowled at her.

“Goddess, does Shepard know?”

“No, I haven’t told her yet, and back then she never wanted to know her name. Should I tell her?” Bray asked.

Aria sighed, “No, I will let her know when she gets back from her trip. And don’t you fucking tell anyone about this! This is highly sensitive information.”

“I won’t boss.”

Aria closed her omni-tool and threw it away.

“Fuck!” She yelled again, looking up into the ceiling. She knew she had to tell Shepard, but this news would do no one any good.

The dark blue asari leaned forward and spread her legs again. “Do you want me to continue, or do you want me to fuck you?”

Aria looked down into those green eyes she liked more and more. She let out a deep breath and cupped the asari’s cheek, pulling her up so they were face to face. Aria rubbed her thumb over the white strip that split her plump bottom lip in half. She leaned in and kissed her, tasting herself and letting the spark of arousal start up again. She lightly nibbled her teeth at the strip and pulled back, watching the beautiful asari in front of her grin. Her facial markings were something Aria had always found exquisite. 

“I still want to come in that beautiful mouth of yours… But that’s not what I need right now.”

“Really?” The asari mused before she stood up, and Aria watched her sway her naked hips as she walked over to the table grabbing a drink. She got up herself and followed her, pressing herself up against her naked body.

“I really need to fuck you,” Aria breathed against her crest. “So bend over and find something to hold on to.”


	18. Shattered

“You look fantastic, Jane,” Liara said while she stepped over to her bondmate. She placed her arms around her waist from behind and put her chin on Shepard’s shoulder, looking at her through the mirror. 

Shepard had been watching herself in the mirror for the last fifteen minutes, trying to decide if the new dark blue shirt and black trousers made her look nice enough to meet her father-in-law for the first time. Liara had taken her out shopping around Serrice after they had returned from Ilos two days ago, and she had been the one to pick out this outfit. Shepard was particularly glad that she wasn’t forced to wear a dress...

“I don’t know…”

Liara smiled as she examined her suddenly insecure girlfriend scrutinizing herself. “My father doesn’t care what you are wearing. This outfit is for me. And I think you look quite dashing in it.”

Shepard raised her eyes, glancing at Liara. “You do?”

“Yes, now we need to get moving, or else we’ll be late.”

Shepard turned and planted a kiss onto Liara’s forehead. “Thanks.”

Apart from the shopping they had done after returning, Shepard had seen very little of Serrice. They had spent the whole day inside, mainly because of the dreadful weather but also because they enjoyed spending time in a comfortable and warm bed again. And Shepard didn’t mind. She wanted to spend every waking minute kissing or touching Liara since she was returning to Omega in just a week.

…..

_ Shepard had taken her time wandering around the apartment after Liara had fallen asleep the night before. She was curious about what she would discover. And Liara’s place was very much as she had expected it would be. A warm and cozy place with a number of artifacts and other relics from her time doing digs and archeology. She also had quite the collection of books, the large bookshelf that crossed along one of her living room walls was proof of that and certainly impressive. As Shepard walked along it, trying to guess what the titles meant, she stumbled upon a picture of Liara as a child and two other asari, that Shepard guessed were Aethyta and Benezia. Liara was looking adorable, with her little crest and purple freckles, beaming from ear to ear. A broad smile appeared on Shepard’s lips, and she picked up the frame to take a closer look. _

_ “Come back to bed, Jane.” _

_ Shepard turned around, watching Liara leaned up against the doorframe to the bedroom. She had knotted a silvery robe loosely around herself, not actually hiding anything, but Shepard didn’t mind. She would never become tired of observing her bondmates gorgeous body. _

_ “I will. I was just staring at this picture… You were a cute child,” she added, waving the picture at Liara. _

_ “I hope you still find me cute?” Liara teased before she strode over to Shepard and put her arms around her. _

_ “Hah, cute isn’t the term I would use to describe you now,” Shepard chuckled, placing the picture back on the shelf. “Are those your parents?” _

_ “Yes. Aethyta is the one on my right side, and my mother on my left.” _

_ “Hmm…” Shepard studied the picture a bit closer. There was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but Liara’s mom seemed… familiar. _

_ “What is it?” _

_ “I don’t know. But your mother just looks kind of familiar… I don’t know. She probably just reminds me of someone I know.” _

_ “Well, she is my mother…” Liara teased, pinching Shepard in the side of her abdomen. _

_ “Ouch! You will pay for that,” Shepard said before she grabbed Liara and lifted her up over her shoulder. She carried her back to the bedroom while Liara’s laughter rang through the apartment. _

* * *

Shepard held up the umbrella, making sure Liara didn’t get wet when they stepped out of the skycar in front of Aethyta’s apartment. She was feeling nervous, and she had tried to hide it in the car ride over. But of course, Liara had spotted it by the way her leg had constantly been tapping against the floor.

“You will be fine, love,” Liara reassured while they walked the few steps to buzz the apartment building’s front door. She laid her hand on Shepard's back and caressed her up and down a few times while they waited for Aethyta to let them in.

“Yeah. I’ve just always hated ‘meeting’ the parents. Although it usually went better than expected. Since I’m kind of likable,” Shepard smirked at Liara, who started giggling. 

“By the way, I haven’t told you how drop-dead gorgeous you look in that dress!"

“You mentioned it. Twice actually.”

Shepard pulled Liara in and pecked the tip of her nose. “Well, you deserve to hear it again and again.”

She remained trapped in her bondmates lovely blue eyes, taking notice that Liara was looking especially lovely tonight. Shepard always found her gorgeous. Hell, even if Liara had been wearing a waste bag she would look sexy. But something was different. After Ilos she had seemed so happy, practically beaming every time Shepard looked at her. She leaned in and placed her lips against her favorite purple pair.

_ Damn, I must be the luckiest woman in the world... _

A buzz pulled them out of their moment, and Shepard stepped up and opened the door, letting Liara walk inside. Shepard followed Liara into the elevator that took them up several floors. They walked almost to the end of the corridor before Liara stopped and knocked on her father’s door who opened it instantly. 

“Kid! So good to see you again,” Aethyta beamed, while she leaned in and gave Liara a deep hug.

“Nice to see you too, father,” Liara replied before she gestured towards Shepard. “I would like you to meet Shepard. My partner.”

Shepard extended her palm in a greeting, but shock filled her face when it was slapped aside. 

“Come here,” Aethyta said before she pulled Shepard into a hug. 

When Shepard pulled away a pair of hands were squeezing her upper arms.

“Wow, Shiala was right about this one. She certainly seems strong,” Aethyta said, winking at Liara.

“Yes, she is very strong,” Liara agreed. She grabbed Shepard’s palm and squeezed it lightly. “And you can stop touching her now.”

“I can understand why you don’t wish to share this one…” Aethyta said, looking Shepard up and down before she let go of her arms.

After the somewhat awkward greeting, Shepard followed Liara inside, and Aethyta told them to take a seat in the living room. Soon she followed them, bringing a bottle of what Shepard presumed was some kind of Thessian alcohol. She poured three glasses full, and Aethyta pushed one of them towards Shepard, eyeing her closely.

“Now, let’s see what you’re made of human,” Aethyta croaked before she downed her own drink in one large mouthful.

Shepard lifted the cup to her nose and sniffed it. The sharp scent burned in her nostrils, and she hissed before Liara’s chuckle caught her attention. 

“What is this?” Shepard asked, scrunching her nose.

“Try it,” Aethyta answered. “I make all of Liara’s girlfriends drink this. Just a test to see if they’re tough enough.”

Shepard looked at Liara. “So you bring your girlfriends over here all the time?” She teased.

Liara only shook her head, while Aethyta laughed.

Shepard was about to take a small sip, but then watched her bondmate swallow down the whole cup in one move, and she realized chickening out was not an option. How awful could it be? Ryncol usually went down with no trouble. Shepard brought the glass to her lips and chugged it down. At first, it seemed fine, but after a couple of seconds, it set her throat on fire. The way it burned was instantly worse than anything she had ever felt, and she choked for air making both Liara and Aethyta burst out in amusement.

“What the fuck is this?” Shepard wheezed while struggling to breathe through the burning sensation.

“It’s the asari equivalent to Ryncol,” Liara said.

When Shepard started coughing, she looked worried at her. “Are you okay?”

“Ryncol is like drinking water compared to this!”

“I expected you to be a-, what did Shiala call it, badass, Shepard,” Aethyta continued, pouring one more for all of them.

“Apparently I’m not. And no thanks,” Shepard said while she shoved her cup aside. “I’m not drinking this ever again. You don’t have any scotch do you?”

Aethyta snorted. “I do. I bought a bottle just for you since Liara told me it was your favorite.”

“I think one was sufficient for me as well,” Liara said while grabbing Shepard’s palm again and dragging it into her lap.

“Wine then?”

“Sparkling water, if you have?”

“Water? You two are no fun…” Aethyta grumbled before she got up and moved to the kitchen to get the drinks.

Shepard turned to face her bondmate. “You actually liked that? Wow, you’re more ‘badass’ than I thought,” She smirked.

Liara smiled back at her. “No, I find it rather dreadful, actually.”

“So, girlfriends, huh?” Shepard teased.

“I told you not to listen to her.”

Aethyta arrived back a minute later. “Liara, you know I don’t cook, so I ordered pizza, something I wager your human here would appreciate.”

“What? Do you have pizza here? Like real human pizza?” Shepard exclaimed. 

“Yeah, of course we have pizza. Liara, haven’t you taught her anything about Thessia?” Aethyta shook her head at her daughter.

“There are plenty of humans living here, Shepard. We have pizza and other popular human meals and ingredients.”

“But you wrinkled your nose at hot-dogs?” Shepard replied, rolling her eyes.

“What the fuck are ‘hot-dogs’?” Aethyta asked.

“It’s a human type of meat. Usually presented in a small bread, and you can top it with various toppings. It is indeed quite tasteful,” Liara mused before she glanced at Shepard and clutched her hand, drawing her attention.

“But we didn’t come here to talk about cuisine. We have something to tell you.”

Aethyta leaned back into her couch, resting her arms on her knees. “What? Oh, don’t tell me you’re pregnant already?!”

“That is the first thing you assume when I mention we have news?” Liara asked, glaring at her father.

Aethyta shrugged. “Well, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if you were. You would never listen to any of my advice, and when I tried to talk to you about safe sex you just-”

“Father!” Liara exclaimed. “Please, this has nothing to do with that.”

“Fine, fine... So,” Aethyta said, while leaning forward towards Shepard, staring straight into her eyes. “Then what is it? What did you do to my kid?”

The look she sent made Shepard shudder, and she really hoped that their bonding wouldn’t be taken as bad news. Shepard definitely didn’t want to get on Aethyta’s bad side. She had seen how Liara fared in battle, and she bet Aethyta, being over a thousand years old, would be quite deadly. She would probably smear Shepard all over the wall with just one flick of her wrist.

She shook her head, before drawing a deep breath.

“Eh, well I didn’t do anything-”

Luckily, Liara interrupted, “Shepard, and I have become bondmates.”

“Fuck!” Aethyta suddenly erupted. “That stupid friend of yours was right! Now I owe her!”

Shepard looked puzzled over at Liara who merely shook her head. “Yes, I know about your little wager. But I expected you would be happy for us.”

“I am happy for you, Little Wing,” Aethyta said, stepping over to give them both a hug, making Shepard release a massive sigh of relief. “I just lost a load of money to Shiala, that’s all.”

“Well, that serves you for making bets on my love life,” Liara said with a smirk.

“Yeah, I bet it does. Anyway I hope you told your human what she has gotten herself into? And please tell me you won’t change your name to Liara Shepard?”

Liara started laughing while Aethyta faced Shepard again. “Tell me… What kind of name is Shepard, anyway?”

“It’s my last name.” 

“By the Goddess! Sometimes you humans can be so slow.” Aethyta shook her head, and Shepard looked confused over at Liara, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing. “Yes, I very well understand that it is your last name, but why do people call you by it?”

“Very few people know my first name, which is Jane, and therefore people call me Shepard. Except for Liara and my family back in the day.”

“And where is your family now?” 

Shepard felt Liara tense beside her, but before she could step in and interrupt, Shepard looked at her reassuringly. Liara gave a subtle smile back and squeezed her hand.

“They’re dead. Well, at least my immediate family is. The rest, I honestly don’t know...” Shepard replied. 

She used to find this subject very tough to talk about. In fact, Liara and Aria were the only two people she had ever opened up to about this. Not even Sam had learned all of her past. And Shepard knew she would never have been able to speak about this if it wasn’t for Liara’s support. But she felt safe here, and she wished to share. Liara had lost her mom as well and Aethyta her spouse, so Shepard knew she would find understanding. She took a deep breath before continuing.

“They were murdered when I was just a child. You’ve perhaps heard of the raid on Mindoir?”

“Athame’s tits! You were part of that?”

“Yeah.”

Aethyta let out a heavy sigh. “Damn kid, that sounds brutal. I’m sorry.”

Shepard shrugged her shoulders, “Well, it was at the time. But it’s a long time ago now so…”

It was the truth. Ever since she had shared what happened with Liara, the awful thoughts and memories were not as tough to handle anymore. The way Liara had helped soothe her mind was something Shepard had never expected anyone being able to do. The memories were still there, and in a way she was glad that they were, but they were less difficult now. And her bad dreams had practically vanished. 

“And your daughter has a way of improving my days and nights, so I’m grateful for that,” Shepard replied. She leaned in and gave Liara a kiss on her cheek.

“I bet she has! She is my daughter after all. I was famous back in my days for ‘making’ the women feeling better, if you know what I mean?” Aethyta drawled, and Shepard was glad she tried to brighten the mood, although it made Liara huff beside her.

“You know what? You should come with us to Omega sometime? I bet you and Aria would get along great,” Shepard replied.

“Aria T’Loak? Actually, I would certainly like to meet her. With the way Shiala has been babbling about her, call me intrigued.”

Both Shepard and Liara started laughing. This was going much better than Shepard had imagined earlier in the day.

*Buzz*

“Ah! That must be the meal. I assume you’re hungry, Shepard!”

“I sure am! I haven’t had Pizza in months.”

* * *

The evening had sailed by after they had eaten. It had surprised Shepard that the quality of the pizza had been this good. Actually, it was one of the best pizzas she’d ever had. She was realizing, she actually could see herself settle down here with Liara. It was nice to be able to move around unarmed, not requiring the security of her gun in case of a hit attempt or assault. To know that Liara was safe, was the most convincing point though. She had also noticed the way Liara had been beaming and laughing all evening, obviously loving to be back home with her family.

_ Our family. _

The thought made Shepard smile. 

“So you want to join me for a shower before bed, love?” Liara asked while she kicked off her heels as they entered back into her apartment. “I’m dying to get out of this dress.”

“Even though you look stunning in it, I’m dying to see you drop it too,” Shepard smirked, unbuttoning her shirt and peeling it off, tossing it over the arm of the chair standing in the hall.

“Mmm, I bet you are,” Liara murmured, unzipping the dress all the way down before she strode towards the bathroom. The view left Shepard breathless, as Liara’s dress slipped down her body and onto the floor while she was moving. Liara stepped out of it and gave it a slight kick before she proceeded towards the shower.

“T’Soni, you will be the death of me one day.”

Liara threw her a peek over her shoulder, her eyes hooded and lips curved up into a grin, and Shepard found her pulse rise. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am!”

* * *

Shepard loved this feeling. It was stronger than anything she had ever felt before in her life. Not even her favorite meals, drinks or even drugs back in the day could compare to this. Floating freely inside Liara’s mind was as serene as it was energizing. It was hard for her to describe precisely what and how this was possible, and if someone that had never melded before asked her to describe it, she wouldn’t be able to do it justice.

She basked in the glory of their love, her heart swelling each second, feeling like it would erupt any minute. But it never did. And it amazed Shepard each time how this was indeed possible.

_ ‘You amaze me, Jane. That you are still thinking about this…’ _

_ ‘I don’t expect I will ever become used to this. And to be fair, I don’t want to either.’ _

Shepard cupped Liara’s cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. She felt her lover's legs wrap harder around her waist, locking her in a tight embrace. They were sweaty and probably needed another shower before sleep, but Shepard didn’t care. Having Liara close to her, inside her and naked, pressed up against her was an incredible feeling. She trailed her fingers down from the tip of Liara’s crest, to her delicate folds in the back of her neck, making Liara whimper into her mouth. 

_ ‘I love you.’ _

Shepard felt a wave of excitement flowing through her body again, washing over her and setting fire to her lower abdomen.

_ ‘Again, Jane?’ _

_ ‘I can never seem to get enough of you.’ _

Liara laughed against Shepard’s lips and dragged Shepard with her down onto the bed. They continued to kiss, Shepard’s lips were swollen but Liara’s taste was too wonderful to pass up. She craved her, like she craved air. 

_ ‘I’m so thrilled you and my father seemed to get along great.’ _

Shepard pulled away from Liara’s lips, arching her eyebrows.

_ ‘Really, Li? Now?’ _

Shepard watched Liara laugh, and swiftly she was pulled back down again, Liara capturing her mouth once more.

She didn’t actually realize it at first. But her mind had subtly started to wander. Usually when she spent time like this with her bondmate, her mind was more than occupied to even be capable of producing understandable thoughts. But something was nagging at her. Something she didn’t quite understand… 

_ ‘What’s wrong?’ _

Shepard stopped for a second and drew back slightly, looking down into Liara’s pitch-black eyes.

_ ‘I don’t know… It’s just-’ _

A vision shot through her mind. It vanished just as swiftly as it had arrived, but it left both of them puzzled.

_ ‘Why did you just think about my mother?’ _

_ ‘I… I don’t know?’ _

Suddenly, it hit her. Like a killer wave, like a tsunami of memories. Her breath stopped in her chest, and the blood froze in her veins as she connected the dots. It all came back to her now. That fatal day so many years ago. The heavy feel of her gun in her firm grip. The way she pulled down on the trigger. No hesitation. Once. Twice. Bang Bang. Dead. The purple blood on her hands. 

_ ‘Jane?!’ _

Shepard tried to shove it away. She yanked herself up from Liara and tried to escape, but blue hands wrapped around her wrists, holding her back. 

_ ‘Fuck fuck fuck.’ _

She closed off her mind, just like Liara had thought her how to do, and she soon felt her bondmate disappearing. A throbbing headache started up inside her skull, possibly from severing the meld soo quickly, but she needed to get away. Tried to fill her mind with something else. Anything else. Anything but the vision of murdering her bondmates mother.

In cold blood.

Shepard tore herself away from Liara, and she whirled around and rested at the edge of the bed, her legs tapping against the ice-cold floor. Panic surged inside her, her heart beating faster and faster, pounding against her ribs. Her chest felt constricting, air not allowed to get into her lungs properly. Her mind was spinning in several directions at once. She hid her head in her palms while she moved back and forth, struggling to find some sort of balance.

_ No, no no! _

“Shepard? What was that?” Liara demanded, pulling up behind her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

Shepard only shrugged it off. “Nothing! It was nothing.”

“You need to show me, Jane. What was it? A memory?”

“Nothing!” Shepard yelled, before she slammed her fist into the lamp on the nightstand, knocking it to the floor.

Liara grabbed her arm and yanked it, forcing Shepard to face her.

“Show me!” She demanded, but Shepard turned her head away, refusing to look her into her eyes. They were already swimming over. 

“No!”

Suddenly, Shepard was shoved with her back onto the bed. Liara straddled her, pinning her down with both her biotics and her own body. Shepard tried to wriggle her arms and legs, but she couldn’t move. She was completely trapped under her bondmate. She peered up in horror at Liara. Her eyes were still pitch black, and this time there was no smile on her lips, no joy in her eyes. Her expression made Shepard shudder. Liara had never caused her to feel frightened before. But now she absolutely was. 

“I will ask you one last time, Jane. Show me!”

“No, I won’t. Please let me go! Don’t do this, Liara.”

But her plea was to no avail. Liara surged forward, digging her fingers into Shepard’s cheeks. Forcing her to stare into her eyes.

She didn’t even care to say embrace eternity. Suddenly, Shepard felt someone intruding in her head, forcing their way in. She tried to put up her walls, tried her best to deny Liara entry. But she quickly figured out that no matter how hard she resisted, Liara would win this fight. If an asari wanted to search your mind, there really wasn’t anything anybody could do. Shepard felt her eyes starting to sting, and her head pounding more and more. The agony became practically unbearable. 

_ ‘P-Please stop…’ _

What then frightened Shepard even further was that she couldn’t hear anything back. It was complete and utter silence, like Liara’s mind was sealed off completely from hers. Like this was just a one way meld.

Even though she tried to bury the memory as best as she could, it didn’t take Liara long to discover it. And soon Shepard found herself back to that stormy day on Omega. 

The essence in the air that day filled up her nostrils, and it made her shiver. Cold, it had been cold. And wet. Shepard was standing drenched, feet planted against the pavement while the rain splashed around her legs. She quickly dragged one hand through her soaked hair, removing it from her eyes. Voices were shouting at her from a distance, but it was all just a background noise to her. She didn't care. Shepard knew what she had to do. Her gun was pointed towards an asari standing just a few feet away from her. Her gun pointed towards Benezia.

_ ‘NO!’ _

Shepard shut her eyes close, trying to get the vision to disappear, when she heard Liara call out inside her mind. But nothing would make this vanish for her. She could merely watch, and recall, with great detail as her finger pulled down on the trigger. The gunshot rang out into the empty Omega streets, ricocheting off the buildings. Shepard watched as Benezia spun halfway around from the impact. Before she pulled the trigger again.

And this time the asari slumped down onto the wet pavement. Body heavy and lifeless.

_ ‘NO! Mother!’ _

Liara’s screams echoed inside her mind. The vision was replayed again and again, and after what felt like forever Shepard didn’t know how long they had remained inside the meld. She was starting to feel numb, gone. Like someone had punched a massive black hole through her chest. Her head was still pounding, but the pain was completely overshadowed with the pain she felt in her chest. She didn't dare to open her eyes anymore, not that she needed it either. Liara's tears were falling onto her face, making the reminder of that day even more real.

_ ‘I-I’m so sorry.’ _

Shepard whined when Liara, as suddenly as she had entered, withdrew from her mind. The pressure from her body was gone, and she opened her eyes while struggling against the biotic restraints. This time she felt them starting to give in. 

“I’m so sorry! Liara!”

When Shepard finally got loose she spun towards Liara, who had crept up against the headboard, sheltering her face in her hands. Her whole body was shaking, and Shepard reached out, wanting to do everything she could to comfort her.

Her hand got slammed away.

“Don’t touch me!” Liara hissed, her eyes boring into Shepard’s. They were puffy and red, back to their normal blue now, but that was also the only thing that looked normal about them. There was no love in them anymore, no joy. 

Only hate.

Shepard didn’t know what to say or do. All she wanted to do was to scream out, to explain, to tell the whole truth. 

“Liara… I-”

“I don’t wish to hear it. Nothing you can say will make this better. You murdered my mother, Jane!” Liara screamed at her, before sobs wrecked through her body, causing her to gasp for air.

Shepard pulled her hand back and got off the bed. She froze to the spot beside it, watching Liara shatter in front of her. There really was nothing she could do now. No matter if she tried to explain. No matter if she told Liara everything that happened that day.

_ What's the point anyway…  _

It would still not take away from the fact that she had killed Liara's mother. Benezia's purple blood smudging Shepard's hands.

“I-I can’t believe this…” Liara wailed. “Y-You killed her… You. Of all people…”

Shepard didn’t know what to respond. So she kept quiet. She turned around. Couldn't bear to look at her anymore.

“I need you to leave.”

“Liara? Please. I-” Shepard whispered down onto the floor.

“And never come back. I want nothing more to do with you. Do you understand? Nothing!”

Liara’s words were so cold, they pierced straight through Shepard’s soul, making her release a heavy sob. All of her hopes and dreams were dying right here in front of her. Just like her own soul. She wanted to just dissolve into nothing. To never have met Liara. To have been slaughtered at Mindoir with her family. That way she would never have been able to hurt the only person she had ever loved, this much. To completely break her, making her fall apart. Destroying her life.

"I understand…" Shepard whispered again, her voice breaking.

She took one heavy step towards the door before she halted and glanced over at the smashed lamp on the floor. The crushed glass from the bulb was shattered around it. Just like her heart was. Just like Liara. Shattered on the bed. Broken. Unfixable. Shepard couldn’t fix this. No matter how much she wished to. She knew this day had to happen. The day when her troubled past would catch up with her in some sick way and wipe out all she had to live for. The one individual in her life that made it all good. Her lover. Her bondmate. 

She listened to Liara’s continuing sobs, echoing around the room, forcing her own tired heart to clench with anguish. Shepard’s cheeks were filled with streaks of tears. But it didn’t matter now. Nothing she could say or do would ever cause this to go away. 

The only thing she could do now was to disappear. To get out of Liara’s life. Away, so she would never be able to hurt her again. Darkness crept around her, clogging her vision, and Shepard knew what she had to do. So she did what she had always done when faced with an impossible situation. When she had fucked up. Ruined a life. 

She left.


	19. Truths

Shepard took the cup to her mouth. It felt heavy in her hand, almost too heavy for her to lift it. She chugged down the substance, letting the liquor burn her throat yet again. The usual sensation was the sole thing keeping her sane these days. She placed the empty cup down and shoved it towards the batarian behind the bar.

“One more.”

The batarian looked at her while he picked up the bottle of scotch. 

“Are you sure you’ve not had sufficient for tonight?” he spoke anxiously, while he held the bottle in his palm.

Shepard bore her eyes into him and shook her head.

The batarian seemed to get visibly nervous now, but he still hesitated to pour her a new one. “Aria told me-”

“Give me that!” Shepard interrupted and reached out for the bottle in the barkeeper’s hand.

The batarian stared at her, but he didn’t dare to stop her. He handed over the bottle and stepped back to tend to another customer. He knew better than to mess with Shepard in this condition.

“Classy,” Nyxeris commented from behind her.

“Shut up,” Shepard mumbled, not even bothering to turn around. She unscrewed the cap on the scotch and drank straight from the bottle.

Nyxeris scoffed while placing her hand on Shepard’s upper back. She sat down beside her and started caressing her back softly.

“What are you doing?” Shepard mumbled again, still with that vacant express in her eyes.

“Nothing,” Nyxeris said. “I’m simply making sure you are ok. And I’m here to make sure you get home safely.”

Shepard snorted, “Why? Who the fuck cares?”

Nyxeris let her hand trail down Shepard’s side and onto the top of her thigh. “I do. And Aria.”

“Ah. So she sent you?”

“No. I came on my own free will.”

Shepard only grunted back, before she took yet another large sip of the liquor, before smashing the bottle against the bar-disk.

Suddenly she felt it anew. This modest and subtle sting in her chest. It appeared as a tiny touch but it rapidly grew heavier and heavier. And then the agony occurred. That soul-wrenching awful pain. Like someone gripped her heart and squeezed it in their palm.

“Fuck!” Shepard threw her head down into her palms, almost knocking over the bottle.

It wasn’t only the pain. The pain would pass. Shepard knew that. But it was the screaming. The terrible screaming that cut through her soul like a hot knife through butter. Ice shot out in her veins. That voice. She gritted her teeth and clutched her head harder between her hands.

_ Make it stop. Please. Stop. _

She almost didn’t notice the fist up in her hair. Slender fingers that brushed against her scalp. Threading her hair between them. Blue fingers.

Just like Liara’s.

“Stop touching me!” Shepard barked and slapped Nyxeris’ hand aside in one swift motion.

Nyxeris sat back on the stool, looking unfazed by it all. She raised her arms in a surrendering gesture.

“Ok. But you need to go home, Shepard,” she replied before seizing the bottle a second before Shepard could reach it, and held it away from her.

“No more for you today.”

“Give it to me!” Shepard barked again.

“No! I’m taking you home!” Nyxeris demanded and handed the bottle over to the shocked batarian behind the bar.

“Take this. And don’t let her have any more!”

Shepard grunted and swung around on the stool. She hopped down from it. But her limbs were too weak. Too wobbly. So she plunged straight to the floor.

“Fuck…”

“Here… Let me help you,” Nyxeris said before she reached down and helped Shepard to her legs. “Now, let me get you home. Ok? Stop being so stubborn.”

Shepard gave in and leaned against Nyxeris, bringing her arm around her abdomen just to gain some assistance. The slight touch from the asari along her back started to soothe her. It had been months since she had felt someone else’s touch on her body. Months since Liara had touched her. And Shepard had missed it. Missed it terribly. She angled her head and stared straight into Nyxeris’ brown eyes.

“Ok.”

* * *

Aria T’Loak was angry. It had been a long time since anything had made her angry like this. Not even when finding out that essentially all of fucking Omega was conspiring to dethrone her did she feel this kind of turmoil inside.

Casually she stepped out of the skycar at the top of her penthouse. She waved off Grizz, while stepping towards the elevator. She simply had one goal in mind.

Aria barged out of the elevator when it arrived at its destination and met Nyxeris walking towards her in the corridor.

“Is she in there?” Aria barked.

“Yes. But she refuses to talk with me. Honestly, Aria, I think she might need some help. She’s been like this for several months now, and it’s spiraling.”

The worried expression in Nyxeris’ eyes made Arias’s stomach turn slightly.

“What she needs is to get a fucking grip! I’ve been too soft with her.” 

Suddenly Aria narrowed her eyes, staring straight at Nyxeris.

“Did you fuck her?”

Nyxeris scoffed and started laughing. “Fuck her? She’s in no condition to fuck anyone right now. I noticed small packs of Red Sand-”

“What?! Oh, she better not be!” Aria fumed, striding past Nyxeris in one rapid move, stalking towards Shepard’s front door.

Nyxeris turned and called out, “Don’t you need the key?”

But Aria didn’t listen. She wasn’t angry anymore. Scratch that.

Now Aria T’Loak was furious.

She blew the door to bits in a blast of blue energy. Patiently, she waited for the debris to settle before she stepped inside the apartment.

“Shepard!” 

Aria spotted her laying on the couch. Her head on her arm and her other arm dangling loosely towards the floor, her fist wrapped around a bottle. She looked like a mess. Hair looking dishevelled and sloppy. And that smell.

“Fuck the Goddess, what the hell is going on, Shepard!” Aria barked again, stepping over to her before she turned around and started opening the windows.

“Hmpf,” Shepard groaned, her eyes still closed.

“Let in some fucking light and fresh air, will you? It stinks like something fucking died in here.”

Aria stepped over to Shepard and stopped. She crossed her arms over her chest, standing in her familiar pose while staring at her friend. “Get the fuck up!” She ordered.

When she didn’t get an answer, she kicked the bottle out of Shepard’s hand, causing it to clink against the floor.

“Fuck are you doing!” Shepard groaned, her eyes shooting wide open.

“Get the fuck up!”

“Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!” Shepard replied, shifting around on the couch, turning her back against Aria.

Aria tried to calm herself, and it almost worked. Almost. At least until she spotted the half-empty pack of Red Sand lying on the table, and a white line of powder neatly laid ready for later…

She grabbed Shepard by the neck and used her biotics to throw her against the opposite wall. Shepard smashed into it, luckily relieving some of the impact with her arms and hands. She slid down against the floor while she shrieked out in agony.

“You better have a fucking good explanation for this shit!” Aria yelled while stepping closer to Shepard, who was scrambling onto her feet, holding her arm out to block her friend from getting closer.

“Leave me alone!” Shepard groaned, spitting out a chunk of blood onto the floor. “Fuck, Aria…”

Aria scoffed, “Oh, I won’t leave you alone. I will not let you lay here and rot. Killing yourself slowly while drinking and taking this shit!”

“It doesn’t fucking matter, anyway!”

“Why? Why doesn’t it matter? Is it T’Soni? Did she fuck someone else or what?”

Aria was way too rapid for Shepard’s slow movement and dodged the arm swinging at her. Instead of getting punched, she caught it and twisted it behind Shepard’s back, shoving her hard against the wall. It certainly didn’t take much strength. Shepard was weak and frail. And it scared Aria. She had never seen her friend like this before.

“Don’t you fucking talk about her!” Shepard suddenly broke down, her legs giving in while she dropped back down onto the floor. She buckled in on herself, resting her head in her palms while she swayed back and forth.

“Then tell me what the fuck happened?”

“Why? It doesn’t matter now anyway…”

Aria took a place beside Shepard and placed her arm around her shoulder. “You cannot continue doing this to yourself, Shep. It’s not healthy and it will get you killed. Now, I won’t leave until you tell me what the fuck has been going on.”

Shepard turned, and their eyes met. Aria couldn’t help the abrupt pain that rose inside her chest her by seeing her friend this way. The expression in Shepard’s eyes was something she had never experienced before. She looked drained. What had happened had defeated her.

“Will you show me?” Aria asked.

The slight nod from Shepard was all Aria needed. She cupped Shepard’s cheeks and glanced straight into her eyes.

“Embrace eternity.”

She instantly realized what had happened. She watched it, Shepard repeating it again and again until she couldn’t anymore and Aria felt Shepard’s mind trying to close up. Aria ended the meld as carefully as she could, and lay her arms around Shepard, hugging her tight. 

“I’m very sorry, Shepard. But why didn’t you tell her everything?”

Shepard started sobbing, and she shifted away from her friend again. “I want to be alone now…”

“Shepard… You need to tell her!”

Shepard got up and stepped over to the bottle, picking it up from the floor. It was still something left in it and she poured it down before she collapsed back down onto the couch.

“She told me she never wanted to see me again. I refuse to make this any worse for her. She hates me and she has every right to.”

Aria shook her head, “If you would only tell her-“

“Stop it, Aria! It doesn’t matter! No matter what happened, I still killed her mother!”

Aria sighed, “So you won’t deal with this?”

“It’s nothing more to deal with. I will never see her again.”

Shepard lied down and drew a blanket over herself, and Aria could simply watch as her friend fell further and deeper into this black hole she was caught inside. 

Fuck this.

Aria knew what she had to do. She refused to lose Shepard like this. Not now. Not when Shepard had always been there for her. Not when Shepard had saved her daughter’s life… No, Aria T’Loak would not give up her friend this easily.

She left Shepard on the couch, her low sobbing the last thing she heard before she walked outside the apartment. Ready to make a call.

“Bray, make my ship ready for a trip today. And get someone over to Shepard’s apartment to fix her a new door. Yes, a new door!”

Aria disconnected the call and stepped into the elevator.

She needed to pack for Thessia.

* * *

“Aria.”

“Liara.”

Aria watched as Liara tied the black robe she was wearing tighter around herself. The glance between them did not waver for one second, and Liara put her hand back on the door like she was ready to close it any second.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Liara sighed, “Why are you here? Did she send you?”

Aria shook her head while she crossed her arms over her chest. “No. In fact, she would probably kill me if she knew I was here.”

“Then why-?”

“Because she is slowly killing herself, Liara. If this continues, she will be dead before the end of the week. Believe me,” Aria said firmly, boring her eyes into the maiden in front of her. She observed that Liara’s blue eyes twitched for a second. Showing glimpses of the pain Aria knew was under the mask she was putting up. “Now, let me inside. There are some matters you need to know.”

Liara let go of the door and turned around with a huge sigh. She went back into her apartment, and Aria took it as an invitation and followed her. She closed the door behind her before she studied Liara as she stepped over to the window in her living room.

Aria stepped up behind her but held her distance. They weren’t exactly best friends. 

“Shepard is… Well, she is a wreck. A fucking mess. And I can’t continue watching her drown herself more and more each day. She started getting sloppy in battle, but I didn’t realize how bad it was in the beginning. But then she started becoming fucking reckless. She refused to tell me what was wrong, so I ordered her to take a break. And now-” Aria took a deep breath before she went on, “Now she’s a fucking wreck. All she does is drinking and doing Red Sand-”

“Red Sand?” Liara sighed, her eyes dropping to the floor. She placed one palm up against the window like she needed to bolster herself.

“I found her yesterday. In her apartment. Drunk and drugged on the couch. She doesn’t care anymore. About anything. And I just…” Aria paused again, “I just can’t keep watching her doing this to herself. You need to fix this.”

Suddenly Liara turned around and the expression on her face shook Aria to her cores. She looked so tired, drained and weakened. Like she had nothing left to live for. She looked just like Shepard. Aria watched as a lone tear escaped Liara’s eye, and how she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand.

“You don’t know what she did,” Liara breathed.

“I do. I know precisely what she did, Liara. It’s you who don’t know the whole truth. You need to come back with me and let Shepard explain. You need to fix this.”

“Ha-” Liara exclaimed while waving her hand in a swift manner. “I need to fix this? She murdered my mother in cold blood, Aria!” 

“No, she didn’t! And if you won’t give her a chance to explain, at least let me show you.”

Liara looked down onto the floor again, shaking her head. “No. I won’t watch it again. I have seen sufficient to know what happened.”

A slight action of Liara’s hand did not go unnoticed for Aria. She watched the movement. Of her hand rubbing gently over her belly, like a soothing caress. Aria recognized the motion straight away. Liara’s eyes shot up to meet Aria’s and she quickly removed her hand, probably hoping Aria didn’t notice.

“You’re pregnant,” Aria stated, narrowing her eyes. “It’s hers, isn’t it?”

Liara looked away, but the expression in her eyes gave Aria the answer she was searching for.

“Does she know?” Aria asked.

“No.”

“Well, then you need to tell her!”

“No!” Liara said, while rushing past Aria, almost knocking against her shoulder. “Thank you for coming here and letting me know how she is doing. But I think you should leave now.”

Aria snorted, “I won’t leave. You need to learn the truth. And so does Shepard! You can’t hide this from her, Liara!” Aria reached out and placed her hand on Liara’s upper arm. She expected it to be slapped away or even being blasted with biotics, but nothing happened. She could hear how Liara’s breathing increased and felt how her whole body started to slightly tremble.

“Liara, just listen to me. Shepard killed your mother, that is true. But it wasn’t like she had a choice.”

Liara snorted, “And why didn’t she have a choice?”

“Because not killing your mother would have meant someone else would have to die. Someone very… close to me-”

Aria stopped herself and dropped her hand. Liara turned around and met her eyes, and they both realized what she was talking about.

“Your daughter, Liselle. Shepard told me about her,” Liara said weakly, tears now running silently over her cheeks. 

Aria took a deep breath, “Yes. She saved Liselle. But to do so, she had to kill Benezia. And Shepard didn’t know-”

Liara sighed, “Of course she didn’t know. How could she?”

“Will you please let me show you what happened? If not for your sake or hers. Do it for your daughter.”

Liara didn’t respond. Instead, she moved over to the couch and sat down. She folded her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her own fingers. 

Aria followed her and sat down beside her. “I know we haven’t exactly been the best of friends. But I came here for Shepard. She will die if she keeps this up. I need you to talk to her. And for you to do that, you need to learn the truth about that day.”

Aria kept her eyes on Liara, observing as she gradually stopped the fidgeting of her fingers and shifted her head slightly, meeting her gaze.

“Ok.”

“Ok,” Aria breathed in relief.

In a surprising move, Liara grabbed Aria’s hand and squeezed it. It felt cool to the touch, and Aria waited until she got a small nod of approval. 

It was easy melding with Liara. Although she was very young compared to herself, Aria noticed she would not be able to break through the walls Liara had put up in her mind. Aria would not pry, but Liara’s mind was like the mind of a matriarch. So strong and steady, even in the turmoil, she was going through.

_ ‘Are you ready?’ _

_ ‘Yes.’ _

Aria went back to that day, showing Liara what Shepard had shown her years back when she had come back bloody and defeated with Liselle by her side. 

_ “You have a decision to make, Shepard. Either you kill her, or I kill Liselle. It’s up to you.” _

_ Shepard blinked the rain away from her eyes, drawing a deep breath before she answered. _

_ “Why are you doing this, Jona? What do you possibly get out of this?” She yelled towards the asari, who was holding Liselle at gunpoint.  _

_ Liselle was kneeling on the wet pavement, her hands and legs tied up, injected with a biotic suppressant to prevent her from using her abilities. Shepard looked rapidly over at the other asari. She was just standing there, shaking from both fear and the cold rain.  _

_ She blinked again, gaining focus. _

_ “Why?” Shepard yelled again. _

_ Jona laughed and pushed the gun against Liselle’s head. _

_ “Because you and Aria are getting exactly what you deserve. You have been making my life troublesome these past years. I want a stop to it.” _

_ “But why this? Do you think this will make us leave you alone?” _

_ Jona lips twisted up into a vicious grin. “I want to witness how this will break you, Shepard. I know you will never let me kill Liselle. But to murder someone innocent? That isn’t your cup of tea either.” _

_ “Fuck you! I promise you, I will get you for this. I will never stop hunting you!” _

_ Jona laughed her evil laugh, pressing the barrel of the gun harder against Liselle, causing the asari to whimper in pain. _

_ “Please…” The weak plea from the other asari took Shepard by surprise, drawing her attention. “Please. I have a young daughter-” _

_ “Shepard? Are you actually going to make her daughter an orphan? Or are you going to let me kill this piece of shit instead?” Jona hissed before she hit Liselle with the gun over her head.  _

_ “Fuck!” Liselle screamed, dropping over to her side before Jona quickly pulled her back up to her knees. “You are so fucking dead! When Aria finds out about this-” _

_ Shepard didn’t pay any attention to Jona or Liselle anymore. Her eyes were locked onto the pair of the terrified asari pleading for her life.  _

Aria could sense how Liara’s panic was climbing to the surface. In just a matter of seconds, she would possibly try to break the meld if Aria didn’t act.

_ ‘Stay.’ _

It was more an order than it was a question. Aria opened her eyes and stared at Liara sitting beside her. Her eyes were sealed shut, tears falling down her cheeks, while her palms were wrapped around Aria’s hand. Aria reached out and placed her other hand over Liara’s. The sudden gesture made Liara open her eyes. They locked for a second, and Aria could feel some of Liara’s emotions slip through the cracks in the walls she had put up. Liara assured her she needed to continue.

Aria only nodded back.

While they watched Shepard shooting Benezia, Aria tightened her grip on Liara’s hand. She could sense the maiden tremble under her touch. Aria fast-forwarded. She knew Liara had already seen this specific scene numerous times, and there was no need for her to see it again.

_ As Benezia dropped to the ground, Shepard’s arm sank to her side, and the gun slipped from her cold hands and clinked against the pavement. She rushed over to the asari, turned her over on her back and tried everything to save her life. She brought pressure on her wound, while she activated her omnitool. _

_ “Bray! Get the fuck over here. I need some medical help- Stay with me. Just hold on!” _

_ She could hear Jona laughing in the distance before she heard footsteps and a skycar roaming to life. But she didn’t care about her. Right now she needed to save the asari. _

_ “Shepard! She’s getting away!” Liselle called out. _

_ Shepard only shook her head before activating her medigel and applied it to Benezia, who was looking up at her, her eyes starting to gloss over.  _

_ “P-please…” she croaked, but the tone of her voice was so quiet.  _

_ “Stay with me!” Shepard demanded while she started doing compressions on her chest. “Stay with me just a little longer. I will get you help. You will not die!” _

_ Benezia’s head dropped to the side, and deep down Shepard knew it was too late. But something inside her refused to give in. _

_ “Fuck fuck fuck! Stay with me!”  _

_ “Shepard. It’s too late,” Liselle interrupted, but Shepard didn’t care. She continued to compress her chest again and again while purple blood coated her hands. _

_ “Shepard! Stop!” _

_ Shepard closed her eyes for a second before she stopped her motions and sat back on her heels. She drew several deep breaths and realized what she had done. She stared down into her palms. Purple blood covering them completely.  _

_ Slowly she got back up and shifted towards Liselle. She didn’t say a word, only released her of the restraints she had around her wrists and ankles.  _

_ “Thank you,” Liselle said, looking worried at Shepard. “You did everything you could.” _

_ “No,” Shepard whispered. She was standing with her back to Benezia now. Didn’t wish to turn around. Didn’t want to face what she had done.  _

_ After what felt like forever, standing in the rain, Bray arrived. Liselle jumped into the skycar while Shepard followed right behind her. Bray got out and ran up to meet her. _

_ “What happened here?” He asked. _

_ Shepard sighed before she glanced into his eyes. “Could you do me a favor?” _

_ “Anything.” _

_ “Please make sure her body is being brought back to her family. As soon as possible.” _

_ Bray looked over Shepard’s shoulder towards the dead asari. “Sure thing. I’ll stay back and deal with this. Are you okay to drive?” _

_ “Yeah…” _

_ Shepard moved her heavy limbs and got into the driver’s seat.  _

_ “She mentioned she had a daughter. Please make sure-” _

_ “I will, Shepard. I will personally make sure. Do you want to know who she is?” _

_ Shepard sighed, “No.” _

_ Bray only nodded back. _

The tight grip on her hand brought Aria back to the present. She ended the meld as gently as she could, while she blinked her eyes clear of the tears that had appeared there. It must have been Liara’s emotions spilling over into her mind that caused her to cry. She never cried. Not even when Liselle was found dead just weeks later...

Aria pushed the memory away and cleared her throat, “Now, do you believe me?”

“Y-yes,” Liara sobbed. Tears pouring down her cheeks. “She actually tried to save her. She is the reason we got her back. She-”

“She had to make a choice.”

Liara looked up at Aria and nodded back in agreement.

“It was the only one she could make.”

Suddenly someone hammered on the door and Liara got up from the couch instantly to find out who it was. She didn’t even get the door fully open before Aethyta burst inside the apartment.

“Athame’s tits! Aria T’Loak?” She croaked, practically pushing Liara to the side while she entered.

“Please come in,” Liara said coldly after her, but Aethyta didn’t notice her.

“What the fuck are you doing here? By the Goddess, don’t tell me you two are fucking?”

Aria snorted before she got up and took on her usual pose, but she didn’t get a chance to come up with a sharp reply before Liara slapped her father on the arm.

“What are you doing here?!” she asked sharply.

Aethyta didn’t bring her eyes away from Aria. “I came here to see you, kid! But I see someone else is as well. And you still didn’t answer my question!”

“Father!” Liara warned before Aria interrupted.

“I’m here to take Liara back to Omega.”

Aethyta’s eyes widened, and Aria could read the anger flaring up in them.

“Like fuck you are! Liara is not flying back to that cesspool of a place. And why in Athame’s name would she want to go back there, anyway? The only reason I could think of would be to kill that fucking human!”

Aria narrowed her eyes and bore them into Aethyta. “That fucking human is killing herself as we speak. I came here to bring Liara back to fix that.”

“Ha!” Aethyta exclaimed, “she’s as good as dead then. There is no way-”

“I am going to Omega, Father.”

Aethyta turned in an instance towards her daughter. “You’re what?!”

“I need to talk to Jane. I have to.”

“You don’t have to do shit! Look, I don’t know what kind of lies miss self-proclaimed Queen here has told you but you are not going back there to be with that murderer!”

“Be very careful what the next words coming out of your mouth are,” Aria fumed, quickly stepping up close to Aethyta.

Aethyta did not back down, instead, she leaned forward getting into Aria’s face to challenge her. “You don’t frighten me, T’Loak. I will blast you-”

“Stop it!” Liara yelled. “Jane didn’t kill mother in cold blood. Everything was a set-up. She was tricked. And I made a terrible mistake. I need to fix this, I need to see her, to tell her…” 

Liara put her palm on her stomach and caressed it. “She tried to save mother. But she couldn’t. And she is the reason we even got her body back to Thessia.”

“I don’t know what lies-” Aethyta started before she was cut off again.

“Aria didn’t lie to me. We melded and she showed me everything. Either way, your opinion doesn’t matter. I’m flying to Omega. Tonight. I have to talk to Jane. I have to tell her…”

Aria stepped past Aethyta and halted in front of the door.

“I will have the ship ready. We take off in an hour.”

“Ok,” Liara responded while nodding. 

Aria cast one last glance at Aethyta. “Nice to finally meet you, Matriarch. Now if you excuse me, I have to leave.”

“If Liara is going, I’m coming with her. There is no fucking way I will let her go back to that place without protection!”

Aria nodded before she turned around and stepped out the door, hoping they weren’t too late.


	20. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to everyone that is still following this story. It means a lot to me - that every one of you takes your time to read this! The chapters might take longer to publish, but the story will be finished, don't worry about that <3

“Are you ok?” Aria asked, stepping into the small observation room where Liara sat on a couch, angled towards an almost majestic view of the galaxy outside. 

“What if I’m too late?” She weakly replied, while she fiddled her fingers in her lap and continued to stare out of the wide window.

“I can’t live with myself if-“

“She will be fine. Nyxeris has been taking care of her while I was gone,” Aria interrupted. She stopped by the couch behind Liara, deciding to keep her distance for now. 

Liara didn’t respond. The tight grip she had been feeling around her heart for hours now was becoming insufferable. She struggled to push those horrible thoughts aside, and they kept sneaking back in repeatedly. She gently put her palm on her still flat belly and drew a deep breath.

_ She has to be okay. She has to. _

“Do you mind if I sit here for a moment?”

The question took Liara by surprise. She had never known Aria to ask for permission to do anything. Also, she had never thought Aria could be so concerned with her feelings. 

“No, please sit,” Liara answered.

Aria sat down beside her on the couch. She leaned back and crossed her legs, fixing her eyes out into the galaxy. They remained quiet for a while before another heavy breath from Liara interrupted the silence.

“I never got the chance to tell her.”

“Well, she probably should have noticed it happening,” Aria deadpanned.

Her remark made Liara smile for a second when the memories resurfaced, the memories of all those times Shepard had been clueless of how far she had been reaching. Shepard had been no help in trying to prevent them from making a child, and Liara was always the one that had to be strong and resist it. It was bound to fail, eventually.

“Sometimes she did when I almost reached to deep. I suppose she kind of got used to the feeling. Or maybe she noticed but was waiting for me to say anything.”

Aria leaned forward, shifting towards Liara.

“Why didn’t you just tell her? I’m certain she would have been happy about it.”

Liara met Aria’s eyes. “I know she would have been thrilled. It was one of her biggest dreams. Therefore, I prepared to reveal it to her in a special way, but I never got the chance…”

Tears appeared in Liara’s eyes again, and she let them fall down her cheeks before she gently wiped them with her hand.

Aria sighed while still watching Liara intently. “You will get the chance now. It’s not too late.”

Liara felt the grip around her heart tightening again. “There are so many things I regret. Not telling her how I felt sooner. Not hearing her out after I found out what happened to my mother. Forcing a meld with her - it must have been horrible for her. And I cannot believe I did that...”

“She’ll get over that. But she needs you there for her. If there is one thing I have learned about Shepard through the years, it’s that she is very good at trying to hide everything. She never wants to talk about the bad stuff she has been through. And to be honest, I haven’t been the best to try to get her to talk about it either,” Aria said, taking a breath before she continued. “That is why she needs you. You get things out of her that no one else has ever managed to.”

Liara shook her head. “Of all the awful things she has been through, I did the worst thing imaginable to her. I am only going back to let her know about her daughter and that I forgive her. I don’t expect her to forgive me back…” 

Liara dropped her eyes down into her hands before she proceeded. “If she never forgives me... I can live with that. But I cannot live with myself if something happens to her because of what I did.”

A subtle caress along her arm took her by surprise, and Liara looked up. Aria was still studying her, while she gave her a comforting caress.

“She will be fine, Liara. I will make sure of it, no matter what happens next.”

“Thank you.”

A slight smile tugged on Aria’s lips, and Liara realized why Shepard had always been so fond of her friend. They had a powerful bond, something that had linked them together from the moment Shepard saved Aria’s life all those years ago, and that had no doubt grown when Shepard had saved Liselle. 

Suddenly Liara felt a slight bump inside her body like someone was touching her from the inside.

_ Impossible. She’s hardly two months old… _

Then it happened again, but harder this time. It ached and burned like something was slicing through her, causing her insides a horrible agony.

_ What’s happening? _

Aria noticed the expression in Liara’s eyes shifting. She narrowed her eyes and grasped her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Liara suddenly gasped as pain shot through her. “How close to Omega are we?” She yelped.

“We’ll dock in three hours. Why?”

“I-I can sense her,” Liara gasped. “I can feel her, Aria!”

Liara stood up abruptly, and Aria followed her movement. Something shoots through her anew and waves of pain and anguish are almost engulfing her. Liara cried out while clutching her stomach, and she would have tumbled over if it hadn’t been for Aria standing right beside her, catching her.

“What the fuck is wrong, Liara?” Aria yelled, her tone changing.

Liara closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the feeling. Besides the pain, something else was stirring up inside her. Something she hadn’t felt for months. 

_ Shepard! _

She turned her head and gripped Aria’s shoulders, glaring into her eyes. “You need to call someone! Something is wrong. She’s hurt. She’s-”

“Fuck!”

Aria let go of Liara and opened her omni-tool to make a call to Grizz. It only took two seconds before he answered.

“Where’s Shepard?!”

“She’s in her apartment, Boss.”

“Get her on the line!” Aria demanded.

It took a couple of minutes before Grizz got back to her.

“I don’t know what happened, Boss. But she’s not here.”

“What do you mean, ‘she’s not here’? You are supposed to be watching her! Where is Nyxeris? She is supposed to watch her!”

“I’m sorry, Boss. I have been watching her apartment from the minute you left. I haven’t seen her going out. But she’s not in there now.”

Liara watched as Aria’s eyes changed. She instantly realized something was wrong. It merely took a second before the pain washed through her again. She sat down on the couch, gripping her belly and closing her eyes. Trying to concentrate on what she knew was Jane. 

_ ‘Jane? I’m here. Are you okay?’ _

_ ‘Jane?’ _

_ ‘...Li…’ _

_ ‘JANE!’ _

_ ‘....’ _

Liara opened her eyes again, staring straight at Aria. “I can feel her. She needs help, Aria!”

“What is she saying? Is she hurt? Ask her where the hell she is!”

Liara’s eyes narrowed. “You know that’s not how this works! Just get us to Omega. Now!”

Aria tapped on her omni-tool again, before she raced towards the room’s exit. She paused for a second before she spun around, staring at Liara. “Are you going to be fine?”

Liara sighed, still clinging to her stomach. “Yes. Just please find out where she is. We need to hurry. Please Aria, I cannot lose her again.”

Tears started rolling down her cheeks, and Liara didn’t even bother to wipe them away this time. Panic rises inside her. But she had to calm down, for their daughter’s sake. 

_ I cannot live with myself if anything happens to her… _

_ It’s my fault for not being there… _

_ Oh Goddess, what have I done? _

Liara closed her eyes and started caressing her belly in slow movements. 

_ I am so sorry, little one. I am just so sorry. _

Aria was remaining in the door-frame, watching Liara slipping down on the couch in tears. If Shepard had messed up for certain this time, they had to hurry. She would not lose her best friend. She turned around and disappeared out of the room, ordering one of the crew members to watch after Liara. Aria needed to try every means possible to get someone to locate Shepard.

* * *

“Li-”

“I’m here.”

“Liara?”

“I am here, Jane.”

Shepard blinked several times, struggling to clear up her clouded vision. It didn’t seem to work, but little did it matter - she recognized the blue form sitting beside her, anyway. Her voice filled up the void in her heart, almost like putting a band-aid over it. She turned her head slowly towards her bondmate before she felt a cool hand grip her palm. Hard.

“Liara?”

Even though Shepard knew it was her, she couldn’t believe it. She had dreamt of this moment for days, weeks, and months. Dreamt of the day she could see her again, hear her beautiful voice, and feel her cool skin against her own. A low sniffle from her side caused her to focus extra hard, blinking her eyes again and again until her vision cleared up.

“I am here.”

“What… what happened?” Shepard croaked before her throat closed up. She coughed several times before she could continue. “Where am I? Why are you here?”

“Shhhh…” 

Shepard tried to lift her arm, and she managed for a small second before she lost all her strength and her arm fell limp down the side of her body. Her head was pounding, and the pain was cutting through her body in waves.

_ Fuck. _

She moved her palm up to her forehead and pressed it against it. “Fuck it hurts.”

“I know. You were in terrible shape when we found you, Jane.”

Shepard closed her eyes again. The darkness helped with lowering the pain. “Found me?”

“We searched all over Omega for you. After several hours Aria got a tip, that you were in some dangerous part of the city. On Blood pack territory. And when we found you-,” Liara took a breath before she continued. “When we found you, you were in very bad shape. You have now been sleeping for the past 24 hours.”

A grunt was all that escaped Shepard’s throat as she tried to remember. But she didn’t remember a thing. But she could guess what had happened, with alcohol and pills being a part of her daily routine for the past month, it wasn’t hard to picture what had gone down.

“Do you remember anything from yesterday?” Liara asked.

“No…”

Liara sighed, “Well, it does not matter anyway. What matters now is that you are safe and that we will take care of you while you get back on your feet.” 

“Where am I?” Shepard asked, her eyes still shut while her palm pressed against her forehead.

“In your own bed. And everything will be fine. This time I will make sure of it.”

The confidence in Liara’s voice made Shepard feel a calm rush over her. She let out a heavy sigh and squeezed back on the hand holding her palm. She tilted her head to the side and opened her eyes slowly, and little by little she could see Liara more clearly. The first thing she noticed was how her eyes looked red and puffy. Her face, paler than usual, and the smile that Shepard remembered so vividly in her dreams, was gone. 

Then it struck her. She remembered everything at once. What she had done, that all of this was her fault. And now Liara had come back, yet again, to save her life. She didn’t deserve it. She deserved nothing from Liara anymore. Shepard knew she would just continue to break her heart, killing her slowly over and over. She was a mess and she would never be good enough for Liara.

“No…” Shepard whispered while she turned her head slightly away from her bondmate. She found a spot on the wall on the other side of the room. She concentrated on it, while she tried her best to keep her raging emotions hidden inside.

Suddenly she felt a cool palm against her cheek, and she had to suppress the tears appearing in her eyes. It was that slightly cold, soft touch that she had longed for so long. Shepard leaned into it without thinking, wanting this closeness again. But she knew she shouldn’t. She couldn’t allow herself to make this mistake yet again.

_ I can’t do this again… _

She drew her head back and turned all the way over to her other side. Leaving Liara’s palm resting in the air.

“Jane?”

“Please leave,” her voice sounded cold and numb.

“No. I am not going to leave you.”

Shepard squeezed her eyes shut, her cheeks getting wet from her tears. She couldn’t hold them back anymore. The weakness she felt in her body, and the pounding in her head was nothing compared to the ache she felt inside her chest. “Please,” she suddenly sobbed. “Please leave me. I can’t - I can’t do this all over again.”

Liara cupped her face, turning her head gently while blue palms caressed her cheeks and wiped away her tears. When Shepard opened her eyes again, she stared straight into Liara’s blue.

“I am not leaving you again. I will stay here and help you get better. I refuse to watch you kill yourself because of me and what I did. If you-” Liara slowly closed her eyes while she took a deep breath, trying to brace herself. “If you don’t want me here after you have healed, I will go back home and leave you alone. I promise.”

Shepard watched as tears started falling from Liara’s eyes. She wanted to reach out to wipe them away. She even tried. But something inside herself stopped her from doing it.

“I don’t deserve any of this,” Shepard whimpered, closing her eyes shut again.

“Jane, open your eyes and look at me.”

After a deep sigh, Shepard opened them, and to her surprise, a smile crossed Liara’s lips. She looked so beautiful, even though Shepard could tell she had been through hell. It was the most beautiful smile in the world.

“Drink this. It will help with your pain,” Liara said while holding out a glass with a liquid in it.

Shepard didn’t even question what it was. She reached for the glass and swallowed it all down. The cool liquid felt soothing as it ran down her throat.

“Thanks.”

Liara took the glass from her and placed it on the nightstand. She sighed and turned back to face Shepard, her eyes showing off a sad expression again.

“I’m so sorry, Liara. For everything.”

Shepard struggled to lift her arm from the weakness in her body, and Liara noticed it. Instead, she placed her blue hand around Shepard’s and squeezed it, before threading their fingers together.

“You have nothing to apologize to me for. Nothing. I know what happened now. And I am so sorry you had to go through it all alone. And for what I did to you… I am the one who is sorry, Jane.”

“Ugh. This is becoming very boring,” Aria drawled from across the room, dragging Shepard’s attention towards her. She hadn’t noticed anyone else in the room with them. “Will you two please just drop it and agree that you both want this.”

She started walking towards the bed, and Shepard observed the smirk forming on her friend’s lips as she got closer.

“Please, Aria. Let us-” Liara started saying before she was cut off.

“No. You two will never be able to agree on whose fault this is. And quite frankly it doesn’t matter anymore. And I’m sick of hearing about it. Shepard - Get a fucking grip and accept that Liara has come back here because she wants to. And Liara - You just gotta accept that this stupid hardhead is one of the most fucking stubborn people I have ever encountered in my 1000 years of living and I can promise you, that she will probably never accept your apology.”

Aria stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.

“And by the way Shepard, the reason you didn’t even recognize your own apartment is that Liara has spent the last 12 hours cleaning up this slum of a place.”

Both Liara and Shepard started to chuckle, their eyes meeting in the process.

“You did that?” Shepard asked.

“Yes, I think it was very necessary. I don’t think it was safe to sleep here in the state this apartment was in.”

Shepard couldn’t stop the smile forming on her lips, as she watched Liara’s expression turn just the same. She tried lifting her arm again because she wanted to be able to touch Liara’s face. Wanted to stroke her cheeks and feel her skin under her fingertips. Liara quickly grabbed her hand and held it up against her cheek, while her tears wetted Shepard’s fingers.

“I’m so sorry, Li. For everything. If I had known-“

“You wouldn’t have done anything differently,” Liara interrupted, her eyes narrowing somewhat while she continued. “I know you, Jane. And I know how much Aria means to you. You did the right thing.” 

Liara turned her head slightly away while she sniffled. But she instantly turned back and stared straight into Shepard’s eyes. “And if what you need from me is for me to tell you that I forgive you - Then I will say it right now. I forgive you, Jane. And I understand why you acted the way you did.”

Shepard let out a massive sigh, squeezing her eyes shut for a minute. “Thank you. You don’t realize how much that means to me.”

“Maybe you can show me?” Liara asked hesitantly.

Shepard’s lips slowly curled into a smile. She nodded, while she squeezed Liara’s hand as hard as she could. 

“There is just one thing I need to do first,” Liara said before she leaned forward and placed a kiss on Shepard’s forehead. Her lips lingered for a second, and Shepard closed her eyes, wishing to revel in every slight touch and every brush of Liara’s skin against her own. 

“I love you,” Shepard whispered, feeling the lips against her skin starting to quiver.

Liara pulled back slowly. “I’ll be right back,” she reassured before she turned and walked towards Aria. 

“Thank you,” she said before she reached out and put her arms around Aria, who welcomed the hug. “Thank you for bringing me back to her.”

Shepard watched as her friend surprisingly hugged Liara back. She had thought Aria would repel, or indeed make a snide remark about the situation. But she didn’t.

“No need to thank me, T’Soni. I only did what had to be done. And as much as this-”, she pulled back and motioned with her arms towards Shepard, “- as this sappy encounter was more than I needed to witness, I’m happy you agreed to come with me.”

Liara chuckled.

“And,” Aria continued, “I will give you two some privacy. I believe there is something Shepard needs to know.”

“What?” Shepard asked surprisingly.

Liara nodded and shifted towards Shepard, locking onto her green surprised eyes. “Yes, I realize it’s time I told her.”

“What??”

Both Liara and Aria started grinning, while Shepard looked at them in shock. 

“Go give her the news, T’Soni. I’ll make sure no one disturbs you.”

“Ok, now someone needs to tell me what’s going on!” Shepard exclaimed.

“I will,” Liara mused, stepping back over to the bed. “Do you think there is room for me in the bed with you?”

“Yeah,” Shepard replied, scooting carefully over and giving Liara enough space to slip in beside her. 

Aria stopped in front of the door and spun around. “Oh! And by the way, Shep...”

“Yeah?”

A grin spread all over Aria’s lips while she continued, “You better make this night count because it might be your last. Liara’s dad has been calling me all day, demanding to know where you are.”

Shepard frowned before she turned towards Liara. “And that’s a bad thing?”

Arias laugh roamed around the room. “An extremely bad thing. But I didn’t tell her where you are, so you still have tonight. Make. It. Count,” Aria finished before she walked out of the room. 

“Your father will kill me, won’t he?”

Liara snorted, “Knowing my father, she will try. But I will not be leaving you alone with her anytime soon. Besides, Aria promised me to keep her busy at Afterlife this evening.”

“Phew…” Shepard whistled, while she shifted closer to Liara. She put her arm over Liara’s body, drawing her in. It took nearly all of her strength to do it, but she needed Liara as close as possible. 

Liara cupped Shepard’s face and leaned their foreheads together. 

“There is something I need to tell you now, Jane. Something I should have told you a long time ago. And I am so sorry I never did.” Her voice broke on the final word.

“What is it?”

“I need to show you. If that is something you are comfortable with. I realize the last time was not very… pleasant for you... I am so sorry for what I did. I-”

“Shh… It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

“It does matter,” Liara breathed while she suddenly moved away from Shepard and sat up in the bed. She drew her knees up under herself and leaned her arms on them, before putting her head in her palms. “It does matter a great deal. What I did was a severe violation of your trust in me. I disregarded your privacy and I crossed some boundaries I never should have even gotten close to,” She shook her head, her eyes staring towards the door at the far end of the room.

“What I did to you is similar to what an Ardat-Yakshi does when-”

“No,” Shepard cut her off with a stern tone. She dragged herself up on her elbow and lay one hand over Liara’s.

“You are not going to compare yourself to them. You are nothing like that. You hear me?” Shepard bored her eyes into Liara’s, causing her to stare back at her. 

“Liara, you couldn’t help it. You had a reaction to the horrible things you had just seen. I should have been more open with you, I should have shown you everything and not closed off as I did.”

Tears appeared in Liara’s eyes, and she let them spill down her cheeks.

“So I need you to believe me when I say this - Yes, it was unpleasant and it’s nothing I ever want to experience again. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is that you came back. You came back to give me another chance after what I did.” Shepard shook her head slowly and tugged at Liara’s arm. “Come here now.”

Liara took a deep breath and slipped down next to Shepard again, who embraced her and pulled her back in tight.

“Now please, meld with me. Show me?” Shepard asked, a slight smile appearing on her lips.

Suddenly Shepard felt the slightest tingling in the back of her brain. A thoughtful question of permission. It all felt so natural again, and Shepard knew precisely what she needed to do to let Liara in. She opened her mind up, allowing Liara to join with her. Slowly and carefully she felt Liara flowing into her, the emotions from the asari starting to build up inside her. 

_ ‘It’s okay, love.’ _

Shepard could feel Liara’s reluctance, so she tore down every barrier and wall she had built up, showing Liara she truly wanted this. She pushed forward the emotions she had covered up for such a long time. Their thoughts and minds weaved together again, just like they had done so many times before. It felt so natural, so perfect. Just as it’s supposed to be. A sudden wave of grief washed over them for a second, causing them both to gasp from the intense emotion. But Shepard put all her efforts into soothing it and to make it go away. She instead pulled every desire, every emotion she had buried deep down, and brought it to the front of her mind. The emotions she had been struggling to conceal for months. The pains that had shredded her heart apart repeatedly, every time she had closed her eyes and every time she had tried to forget Liara.

Her love for Liara.

_ ‘I don’t want you to be unhappy anymore.’ _

_ ‘I never want to feel this way again.’ _

_ ‘I love you.’ _

The last words rang between them in unison and Shepard opened her eyes slowly and looked into Liara’s pitch-black eyes. Suddenly something brought her back, an impression she hadn’t felt before. There was something taking place inside her, inside  _ them _ that felt unfamiliar... That felt new. All the times she had melded with Liara they had always felt so private, just the two of them sharing their own world. But now - now it was something else there. Something unique. 

Not something. 

Someone.

The confusion raging through Shepard’s mind was picked up quickly by her bondmate.

_ ‘It’s okay. There is nothing to be afraid of. She’s here, but you won’t be capable of sensing her thoughts yet. She’s too young.’ _

_ ‘She?’ _

Shepard didn’t realize it at first. The confusion was too much, too overwhelming. Her heart started to beat quicker and faster inside her chest and she felt a sudden surge of panic stirring up inside her. It merely took a couple of seconds before she felt a wave wash over her, calming her fears. Liara knew her all too well, knew precisely how to calm her down when she couldn’t do it herself.

Shepard’s heartbeat slowed down and merged into one with Liara’s again. But there was something else there. She could sense it better now. Another faint slow rhythm against her chest. Like a second heartbeat.

_ ‘She?’ _

_ ‘Yes. Our daughter.’ _

Shepard’s eyes shot wide, and she choked, almost pushing Liara out of the bed. The strength had seemed to come back to her body, and she immediately caught her bondmate and yanked her back into a firm embrace. She reared her mind back on impulse and tried to escape back into herself. She could feel Liara holding back, only allowing her to go back to herself slowly, in a way that wouldn’t be harmful to them. It felt too slow for Shepard. She wanted to be back inside her own mind. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else in there with them. 

_ Her. _

_ Their daughter? _

“W-What do you mean?” Shepard stammered out, “What do you mean - our daughter?”

“Yes,” Liara whispered while she drew her head somewhat backward, so she could stare straight at Shepard. “Our daughter. I wanted to tell you. I had prepared to do something special to let you know since you apparently hadn’t noticed-”

“Apparently!” Shepard exclaimed, her expression stunned. She watched as Liara’s face turned crestfallen. 

“Are you angry with me?” Liara inquired with caution, practically whispering.

“No!”

Anger was the last thing Shepard was feeling. She struggled to concentrate, to wrap her brain around what she had just experienced. Liara was pregnant. With their baby. Her own daughter. She was to become a parent? Shepard blinked repeatedly and then she started to slightly shake her head. 

“Angry?” she suddenly sniffled, feeling powerless to hold back all of the emotions tearing through her soul. “Angry?”

She spent all of the energy left in her body, every little shred left and pulled Liara as tight as she could get. She wrapped her arms around her and pressed her head into the nook of her neck, while sobs started to wreck through her whole body. It was so powerful, such a release of emotions that left her incapable of speaking. All she could do was to let it out. Letting all of her sad memories get washed away with her tears, all of her repressed feelings escape her mind. Shepard felt Liara tightening her arms around her, and it felt so perfect. 

Everything was going to be ok now. Shepard knew it. Their daughter would be their fresh start. Her fresh start.

After several minutes she managed to quiet down, and she could feel Liara’s fingers threading through her hair, over and over to soothe her. 

“It’s okay love. I’m here and I am not letting you go this time,” Liara whispered before her blue lips lingered against Shepard’s forehead. 

“Thank you.”

Shepard opened her eyes again and withdrew slightly before she put one hand on Liara’s cheek. 

“I can’t believe we are having a daughter!” She blurted.

Liara’s face brightened, her lips curving into the broadest smile Shepard had ever seen.

“We are.”

Shepard shook her head while she let out a small chuckle. “I-I can’t believe it! How? When??”

Liara raised one eyebrow, “How Jane? Really?”

Both of them burst out in laughter and Shepard pulled Liara in for a kiss. Their mouths met, and Shepard had forgotten how wonderful it felt. Liara’s cool lips against her own. How amazing she tasted and how gentle she was. 

It was perfect.

“I love you,” Shepard whispered when she gently pulled away. 

“I have always loved you, Jane. I never stopped. Not even for one second.”

“I never stopped either. Being apart from you is the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. I never want to experience that again. I don’t care, I will give whatever I need to never let that happen again. I promise you Liara.”

Liara smiled and grabbed Shepard’s palm, drawing it down onto her belly. She pushed Shepard’s hand against it while rubbing in a calm and gentle motion. 

“We don’t have to think about that again. Now we have someone else we need to be worrying about.” Liara said, her lips twisting into a grin.

The thought made Shepard release a heavy sigh. She had never pictured it to happen this way, and rest assure she was going to push Liara on when it took place, because she actually had no clue. But that wasn’t something unusual, Shepard was so used to totally losing herself in Liara when they made love. The lines were so blurred, so hard to differentiate. And Shepard was thankful they were. Now she was finally going to have a family. Everything was going to be ok again. Liara had forgiven her, even though she had done the most terrible thing imaginable. Shepard made a decision. She would never put Liara through anything like this ever again. She had to start making changes in her way of life. Someone else was coming into it now. Someone she needed to protect from this life. Someone so pure and innocent. 

Their daughter.

Shepard knew it probably was too early, but she was certain she could feel something. She carefully moved her palm a bit firmer against Liara’s belly. She closed her eyes and focused her breathing. Shepard leaned her forehead against Liara’s and pushed her mind out towards hers again. She was allowed inside in an instance, and it took merely a second before their minds were intertwined again. 

_ ‘I love you.’ _

_ ‘Focus on her heartbeat.’ _

Shepard did as Liara told her. She focused all she could, and suddenly the faintest of beats was back. It was dull and so so soft, but it was undeniably there. Shepard could sense her presence, right there with them. 

_ I love you little one. _


End file.
